Rings and the embassy

[Krissy! 0]

Ok, I just asked my SO about my observation of couples wearing rings/bands on their right hand versus left hands. I never knew the significance of this.

He explained right hand is for engagement not marriage, left hand for marriage.

Aha.

We both have rings on our left hand (the "married" hand). We never went through any marriage ceremony. Just decided to get rings for each other to show our promise and commitment to each other -- and full intention to marry.

Here's my question/concern: When the K1 interview comes up (insha'llah), would the Embassy notice the ring being on his left hand versus the right hand, and assume that we're already married?

I asked the SO about that, he insists to not worry and that he would explain that we did that because of "how it is there, the culture... giving us less hassle if we appeared married versus not..." (I apologize if this seem offensive/taboo to anyone here in MENA.... but please respect our choice)

I explained to him that naturally I'm worried because I'm reading stories of people being denied because the officer thought they were already married based on pictures or words, even through they were not. He tells me, they could check the courts (I'm thinking "why would they want to waste time?") and check on-line etc. *Sighs*

It's so nice however he's thinking optimistic (really an improvement during this process!) -- but can anyone give some insight on this?

Thanks!

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

Im not sure Mohamed put his on his right! We were married islamically only! We heard people tell us dont wear them on left!

[Krissy! 0]

Im not sure Mohamed put his on his right! We were married islamically only! We heard people tell us dont wear them on left!

Thank you for your response.... if you find out, can you please explain why been told to not wear them on the left?

Note: we NEVER went through any marriage ceremony (not even Islamically) -- but just got each other rings to wear -- It was placed on my left because this is where the engagement ring usually goes (American, and Western countries)... the SO didn't protest or explain the difference until just recently when I gave my observation....

am wondering if placement of the rings would even be a matter of concern in the eyes of the consulate officer ....

Edited May 10, 2008 by k & o

[polarbear 0]

Im not sure Mohamed put his on his right! We were married islamically only! We heard people tell us dont wear them on left!

Thank you for your response.... if you find out, can you please explain why been told to not wear them on the left?

Note: we NEVER went through any marriage ceremony (not even Islamically) -- but just got each other rings to wear -- It was placed on my left because this is where the engagement ring usually goes (American, and Western countries)... the SO didn't protest or explain the difference until just recently when I gave my observation....

am wondering if placement of the rings would even be a matter of concern in the eyes of the consulate officer ....

I always wore my ring on the left as well as an engagement ring, but he didn't have one. They had no way of knowning at the consulate what I was doing with my ring, and he didn't wear one to the interview, so it never presented a problem......

I know you may not like this suggestion, but he could just take it off just for the interview unless you submit pictures that specifically highlight the ring he is wearing (for you, no prob. I would assume since it's our culture) they wouldn't even know to ask.

[Krissy! 0]

I know you may not like this suggestion, but he could just take it off just for the interview unless you submit pictures that specifically highlight the ring he is wearing (for you, no prob. I would assume since it's our culture) they wouldn't even know to ask.

I was thinking of asking the SO to either take it off or switch it to the right hand. I don't have a problem with this... but I think he'll protest a little bit. Pictures, hmmm in some he is wearing the ring but gotta look up really really close... at which point is when he'll give the explanation about the "appearance of being a marriage couple to avoid hassling..." hmmm.

Thanks for the tip!

Just wasn't sure if the consulate would be totally aware of that custom, or would be more understanding...?

[Nagishkaw 510]

Play it safe...take the rings off before you get to the Embassy. We were careful to hide our hands whenever we took pics to submit as evidence because we didn't want to give the CO anything to ponder and question.

[LRA 0]

If I may chime in. Not sure how is is for Christians in Jordan, but for Moslems here's my understanding and experience: I call myself "engaged", but I am actually legally married. Socially in Jordan I am not married....yet....but legally I am. We haven't held the reception, but we did have the Ketib Kitab so we are legally married. We have a marriage certificate and we both signed it with witnesses...this is done either at the courthouse or you may have the Sheik(Judge) come to you. There is no separation of "Mosque" and "State" in Jordan as Sharia Law is for the most part the law of the land...even for Christians they unfortunately have to follow some Islamic rules. In Jordan my "wife" and I are known as a Khat-been....or if you will Engaged. That is socially. Legally in the eyes of the government in Jordan and by entension the US government we are legally married. In Jordan, under Sharia Law my understanding is that there are differences in regards to divorce if you have legally married but have not socially been married (i.e. reception followed by consummation). As such, I wear my ring on my right ring finger now. AFTER the reception/party/whatever you want to call it, I will move the ring to my left hand. That will signify that we are now "married" to people...but in the eyes of the government we were married once we signed the Katib Kitab.

[LRA 0]

Oh and one more thing. I would think, especially in Jordan they are fully aware of the local customs. They are looking for tangible evidence and I am sure they will base their decisions on that evidence or lack thereof. They know the customs. Further, maybe it's just me being paranoid, but I wouldn't put it past them to actually go through or even request marriage records from the Jordanian Government and compare these to what the applications say. You'd be surprised on how much they know...esp the Jordanians. ;-) They are that good.

[Krissy! 0]

Oh and one more thing. I would think, especially in Jordan they are fully aware of the local customs. They are looking for tangible evidence and I am sure they will base their decisions on that evidence or lack thereof. They know the customs. Further, maybe it's just me being paranoid, but I wouldn't put it past them to actually go through or even request marriage records from the Jordanian Government and compare these to what the applications say. You'd be surprised on how much they know...esp the Jordanians. ;-) They are that good.

That's what I was thinking -- I wouldn't underestimate what they could do!

We never signed any papers or had any sort of ceremony. It was just "I want to get a ring for you" type of thing -- ok, no problem.

I'm learning new things about Jordanian culture/customs always.

I guess I should keep convincing him to take it off for the interview (hopefully he won't have a tan line!) And I just double checked pictures in the book I'm creating for the interview for him to take with him -- most don't show our hands. Theres one or two but very hard to see his ring (in my opinion -- but then again my vision isn't 20/20)

Thanks for the continuing tips, advice, and the learning experience!

[sarahaziz 0]

Don't wear on the left if not legally married.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Nip it in the bud and don't wear any. Do not even give them one hint.

[rachbel 2]

Nip it in the bud and don't wear any. Do not even give them one hint.

hi all,

when i sent my 129f, i sent photos of our engagement showing us exchanging rings as proof of having met in persons, and most of our photos are about our engagement ceremony, would that be a serious problem when am at the interview? the petitioner got a sworn paper from the consulate in 2006 declaring she is not married , but that was because we wanted to marry but we didnt because of some missing documents at that time, we still have it, can we show it if they doubt that we are married, caus we didnt use it . any one who has gone through casablanca and sjowed his engagement photos ? thanks much for any advices.

[Aymsgirl 0]

My husband forgot to take off his ring off of his left hand when he interviewed but no questions were asked. I agree with Nagi, have him take it off so there are no questions or you can have him switch hands. Don't give them any reason to question something like this.

[rachbel 2]

My husband forgot to take off his ring off of his left hand when he interviewed but no questions were asked. I agree with Nagi, have him take it off so there are no questions or you can have him switch hands. Don't give them any reason to question something like this.

hi

thanks much for ur answer, the ring is not a problem caus i can take it off, the problem is that i sent photos of our engagement with the originak package 129f.

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

As long as its on the right hand u will be fine!