UNOz rain...

[Simply_Uno 1]

Salutations to you all,

I have been on this site for several months. I have argued, debated and laughed with a lot of you guys. My kids tell me "mom, you have no life, you sit in front of that computer reading and replying like you really know those people!" Well, he may be right...or used to be. Lately, I have been lurking and silently celebrating the accomplishments of a great vast majority of you all. And now, this is my story.

I met my husband, then cyber pal, online in december of 06. We spent hours online; sometimes 8-12, with minor breaks inbetween. And I mean hours leading to days, sometimes leaving messenger up for days on end, ya' know, just incase one of us comes online. Shooting the breeze, laughing, contemplating our futures (not together, but...ya' know). Then we started talking on the phone, while chatting online, in case the language barriers got in the way. Then we (or so I thought), fell in love. I was not the first one to say it or feel it, but I was like, okay, we can remove part of the brick wall. Well, hell, the whole wall crumbled down in his favor. Several months later (okay, a few months), I found myself engaged, on a plane to ghana, and "look momma, I'eyes marrieds Naah!" Well, fast forward...2 months into the marriage, I found myself on restrictions (the silent treatment) from afar due to my outspokenness. Well damn, no ones tolds meez I cants speak freely no mo'!" And from there, the african sewer #### hit the american fan. I suddenly became "disobedient" for having free will. I started to "ruin" his days if I "reminded him of something he was supposed to do (that we agreed upon), when I asked "honey, did you do so in so?" To which I got answers like "I am a Man, how dare you question my judgement as if I am one of your sons!!?" Now mind you, if he asked me for anything, anything (within reason, now don't get it twisted), I did my damnedest to git'er done and get it to'em! I was the new age postal service; "lickety split you'll get your ####!" And I was diligent in my new wifely duties, did not understand this new place I moved to called "compliance" but it was a nice mental neighborhood...so I thought.

Well, now...fast forward a bit more. I got a financial chance to recoup my losses from taking the trip to ghana and such, and so I informed my husband, "baby, I did not incorporate your bills into what I have to do here, due to I am still in the hole from last years {gala event}." I also spoke to him about some issues that needed to be addressed and clarified during the course of our new found nuptuality. And wow, to my amazing surprise, I was scolded, humiliated, and dehumanized. He told me things like, "how dare you speak to me of such a bullshit matter, and you go to hell, and I should have charged you to marry you with your FATNESS of upto 50 to 100 usd, and you can keep your money with your USELESS HALF, and look and see how God has brought you to africa and yet again in your miserable life you have humiliated yourself, and I shall have nothing to do with a fire and hell woman like you, and how can I think for looking at a bulldog such as yourself, and I am going to burn and destroy everything about me that reminds me of you.

And to that I said, hmmmf, I am useless, but I sent you money, paid your bills, upgraded your wardrobe and shoes, purchased you ankle socks (while yo' dumb ### tried to pull them up to yo knees), introduced you to the real bling and not that tarnished #### you got played for, I sent you food, introduced yo' funky ### to anti-perspirant (damn deodorant), I amazed yo' ### with soft soap body wash (a little dab a do ya), and cologne (and not a city in germany), let you sample french fries and ketchup, but I am useless. Okay, I'll be all of that and then some.

My FATNESS, well, well, well...studies show, men who are used to famines tend to choose robust women. They see that as a status symbol and a sign that they will not go hungry if she (the fat woman), accepts his hand in marriage. (Simple logic, I aint gone let my fat ### starve and if you wit me, you wont either). And well, the rest of his comments, I can't type what all I told him, hell; thats tripple X-rated. But, but, but, I am a christian. So after I put the "wes side" girl back on the shelf, I dawned my sanctified attire and repented, (boy, did I ever repent), and I wrote an apology letter to him explaining that I should not have allowed him to take me there, even though from a carnal stand point...he did deserve it! So, since that time up until now, I have not had any contact with that man. It has been close to three months and I am okay.

Now, the other issues jacking wit my psyche is the death of my cousin. He was murdered on tuesday of this week. If you google his name "aaren gwinn" you can read all about it. He was no saint and neither are any of us, but he did not deserve that. And, and, the story from the p.d. changes every day....

Now, the most challenging issue that UNO is facing is this...my grandmother, best friend, first teacher, inspiration, the air that I breath...is dying. She is terminal. Her heart is very weak. She went into the hospital 2 weeks ago (able to walk) for chest pains and body aches (heart attack). She can no longer walk, she is catheterized (kidneys failing), and breathing is a chore for her. She lost the ability to feed her self, hold a cup or pick up the phone when it rings. I watched her physical therapy session today and almost lost my mind. Watching my grandmother not being able to move her legs and steady herself to stand for 30 seconds. No, God, not my grandmother, the strongest woman I know. How could this be happening?? Why is this happening??? Can't I have just 1 more year to show her I love her and I need her. Why is the angel of death knocking on her door now?? Her time can't be up, she still has some teaching to do, some wisdom to impart and some love to give. The doctors gave 2 prognosis. The best case scenario, she can live less than six months, the worst case scenario, she can die in her sleep at any given time.

So yes, when it rains, got dammit it never stops pouring.

I am not looking for sympathy or pity, I just felt compelled to tell my story. So for those of you who silently wonder, "what happen to so in so?" They might be in the midst of their storm, so pray.

UNO

[Marlita 0]

OH (((Uno))), I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Please stay strong and stay close to God cause only He can lead you out of this stronger than you were before you got in.

[GabiandVi 34]

I know no words to comfort you but I wanted to reach out and let you know that I heard you and you are in my thoughts.

Stay strong!

[stevi1123 0]

You have my sincere prayers. I am very sorry that you are going through so many things right now. My sister and I just lost our father last week, and I could relate to your words concerning your grandmother. But she is still here, and only God says when it is her time. Concerning your husband, I am so sorry that you experienced such a profound change from the man you thought he was to the man he "actually" turned out to be. I pray that your cousin rests in peace. God be with you, and my heart goes out to you.

[forchika 4]

Thank you for sharing your story UNO!!!!! You have my deepest sympathy for the passing of your cousin and the sudden illness of your grandmother. I can tell by the way you speak of your grandmother that you are truly tragically hurt by her sudden illness. Sometimes its better to let go instead of keeping them here suffering. She will be in a better place and will always be with you!!!!! You have an impecable gift of expression, especially as you talk about the issues you are having with your husband. He sounds like a real jack-of- latern right now and will one day realize that he made a very big mistake!!!!! No one deserves to be belittled and ridiculed, I am glad that you found this out before he got here to the states. You deserve and can do way better!!!!! I am keeping you in constant thought and prayers as you weather your storm

Robin

[Kiv 32]

it happens from time to time, one problem after another, be strong god will open a window for you !

[Ta Ta 1]

I am sorry for the things you are going through Uno.

Draw close to God and hide under the shadow of his wing and He will comfort you.

Sometimes when we are out on the stormy sea without a sail, tossing around with one wave upon the other, know that He is in the boat with you.

It may be one of those storms He won't calm but He will always bring you safely to the shore, even in rough waters.

There on that shore, His plan for you will unfold.

Love

Sabine

[Nagishkaw 510]

I will add to Omoba's post that only God knows the most perfect action to take at just the right time. Ask in faith and keep on asking. What God purposes, He will accomplish.

Edited May 10, 2008 by Nagishkaw

[Zee Bee 61]

I already e-mailed you

[Perseverance 1]

UNO

I am very sorry about all of this. So sorry for the losses. I lost my Grandmother last week, ironicly on the same day and nearly the same time that VJs Kezzie passed. While I am sad that she is gone, I am comforted that she lived a long and happy life. I am available if you want to chat or something, you have my information.

Heather

[Ricca711 1]

[boo boo 1]

I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers.

-Crystal

[We_Destiny 1]

Uno

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Simply_Uno 1]

I thank each and everyone of you for the pm's and the posted messages.

This really means a lot to me.

My only desire is for the prayers to be sent up so that an outpouring of blessings can rain down.

Not just for me, but for everyone that you encounter, regardless of their outward appearances.

A person never knows when it is his or her turn to encounter their own personal storm and need the shelter of

"The Comforters" arms.

Once again, I am humbled and I thank you all.

UNO

[JJWashington 0]

Uno,

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I do have to echo the sentiment that at some point in these terminal illnesses, you reach a point that you realize they will be more at peace when they pass. My mother passed last year after about 2 months of kidney failure and some other issues and at the end we all realized that her pain was simply too much. And as Omoba says, God's plan will unfold for you.

As for you husband, I applaud your strength.

If there is anything I can do for you, do not hesitate to PM me.

Judy