um check please... please keep in MENA

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

You're an old shoe at being a Mom so this should be familiar to you plus you've been a wife before so I am certain things are going to be much better this time around and once he's here awhile it will go smooth for you both. Remember nobody is perfect and when arguments arise take a break to collect yourselves and come back and talk calmly when you're ready.

For now give yourself some much needed TLC and try to occupy your mind with productive busy work until he's here. Delegate responsibilities as needed. You can do this. I have full confidence in your ability!

I am one daughter in law that would LOVE his grandmother or mom to move in with us. They are the best cooks EVER

[Badrs Love 0]

Is buyers remorse setting in?

You also are engaged to someone who had already been through the immigration process with a former spouse and is eager to come here. I think dealing with someone who is very familiar with immigration is alot easier than someone who has not been through the process before

It was a joke.

And yes Badr has been through this process but he was not aware of how the immigration process worked. This time he does because I'm educating him on what happens each step of the way so he won't fail like last time. So in a way, he's really experiencing the immigration process for the first time, with me. All he knew the first time is that he would get some paperwork ready and go to the interview, that's it. He's not eager to get here. Why would someone be eager to come to a country they've never been to and leave everything they know behind?

[SaadBell 0]

Wow I feel for you, I can imagine the food is incredible, but, things are different here. Some people adapted faster to a different country than others, my Grandfather was thrown into a classroom where he didn’t speak a word of English. In the day there were no special sets ups for children who didn’t speak English, it was expected that you learn the language. That being said, my Great grandmother never learned English, drove me crazy, you had to speak Spanish period. So give him lots of time, try to find some Algerian’s in your area, he will in for a culture shock, but he will do fine, I promise. When I first left America and had to live in Germany, this was way before computers, when you called the United States you would have to call the operator and then wait for the operator to call you back with your party. That could take anywhere from 30min to 5 hours, this was during the cold war, and when technology sucked. I cried for two weeks, hated everything and everyone, but it passed and I soon loved Germany and cried like a baby when I came back to USA. Hang in there, when Hesham comes we will go down and hang out, and see that soon to be beautiful baby. As far as cooking fresh, just cook healthy and tell him you do it for his health because you love him. I know some of my relatives are not so up on microbiology, they still go by old time ways. I feel bad now because one time I yelled at my grandmother god bless her soul, that she didn't cook the chicken right and that I was poisoned. I was just a smart butt, and just started microbiology in college, so I kinda went overboard. I was fine and never got sick, but just because it was done back home, does not always mean it is the right way.

[chasnik 0]

The main thing Id say is to relax. I worried about this with Mo...because neat....nope I am not. I have a full time job with 2 kids that play every sport imaginable...add to that the fact that his mom and 2 sisters treat him like a king. When I told him ummmm baby it wont be like that here...he said here I am a son and a brother, there I will be a husband and a dad. As for the cooking, if you stress about it you wont enjoy it and the kind of cooking alot of the older generation does...its a labor of love an expression of their desire to take care of and nurture their families. What better way for you and he to bond than cooking together? I think if you looked at it as a love thing and not an oh god it has to be perfect thing it could ease you some.

[S and S 12]

There was a time in America when women cooked that way. It has been awhile, but there is more than one reason we don't anymore. To be honest, there are some foods that actually taste just as good without doing it completely from scratch. Couscous comes in many flavors now, or you can buy plain and flavor it yourself, but it still doesn't take much time. I have been practicing cooking different things lately, some American, some arabic/Iraqi, and some I just make up something that is in between. My husband knows I am doing my best for him and he watched me winging it when I was with him over there (we didn't have his mom or other family with us when I went on my first trip to marry him). Not only that, my husband had little idea about shopping so we were both learning together in the middle east. I often made things up entirely because I couldn't find all the ingredients to anything I would normally cook and had no idea what the words were in arabic for the different parts of the cow (actually I diddn't know where most of the meats I use here come from on the cow to even explain it). Somehow, though, I managed to put some food together and make it work and my husband loved it no matter how simple it was. Inshallah your husband will be patient with you and understand you don't have that kind of time to devote to cooking. I doubt his mother and sisters and grandmothers could do everything we do here in the United States and still find the time to cook like that every day. Make sure he understands that and it should help.

[mohamed N melinda 0]

Yes I was just like this before Mohamed came also. I worried about everything. Thank Allah he is a very wonderful husband. He will help me clean and we cook together for right now.Hes also wonderful with Amir and my other children. I wish u the best of luck!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Dont loose yourself in all this, its your life also....your not here to make his every moment great, let him grow and change some things, make each other happy together

[S and S 12]

Dont loose yourself in all this, its your life also....your not here to make his every moment great, let him grow and change some things, make each other happy together

Good point!

[mossydonni33 0]

Hi Everyone!! Hey there girlie. I gotta tell you.....I had the same worries initially before my husband came to me. Let me let you in on a little funny secret....... When my husband first came ...I pulled out all of the recipes I though were fool proof. I am no gourmet cook but I know somethings I can get away with.....anyway..I made my little "homemade meals" and had them ready for his coming. My husband did not care for any of it but ate it because he loved me and knew I tried hard. A few days later, I decided it was too much work and resorted back to my old ways.....fish sticks, chichen nuggets, hamburger helper........... I know I know!!! Lazy, salty meals...sorry...lol. Anyway, guess what.......he had his first fish stick meal and thought I had given him a hidden treasure!!! He could not get enough and ate them for at least 2 straight weeks. He thought they were miracle food or something. He had never had something so......American before and to my surprise I had a very easy time "impressing " him with the American cuisine. lol Now he has discovered hotpockets . So long story short, do your best but don't worry. Sometimes the things we take for granted and the things they will find to be new and "refreshing" lol, once they come. Good luck sweety and give yourself a break. Love is often the bridge between gourmet and "Goodtimes"!!!!