um check please... please keep in MENA

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

My computer has broken down so I wont be able to see any responses until I come back to work on Monday ( I am sure everybody has been breathing a huge sigh of relief LOL)

I have been a little aggravated as of late ( not with you guys) I am anticipating my husbands arrival the end of May but I am starting to feel apprehensive..

Several things.. he is a neat freak ( I am clean but not perfect)

He has certain mannerisms.. if I dont say inchallah every single time I talk about the future he gets upset. I dont say inchallah with americans so its hard to remember.

I am afraid I wont live up to expectations.. I am not floating on a cloud of expectations. After A cr1 visa and this hellacious wait.. panic has now set in

I am pregnant and already kind of hormonal

Also he gets in arguements with his family. If I take sides with him against them, then he gets mad that I am against them. If I take sides with them, he gets mad at me for doing that too.

I dont know if I am ready for all of this

[Badrs Love 0]

Is buyers remorse setting in?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Is buyers remorse setting in?

No cause you don't buy people.. at least I didn't.. Its more fear of my inadequacies.. not anyone elses

I am more afraid that I wont live up to standards

[Jenn! 918]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Is buyers remorse setting in?

You also are engaged to someone who had already been through the immigration process with a former spouse and is eager to come here. I think dealing with someone who is very familiar with immigration is alot easier than someone who has not been through the process before

[tammy2688 1]

You will be fine girl, don't even worry about it. Every guy has mannerisms equivalent to the saying Insha-Allah before everything related to future...you will be fine. He loves you and he will adjust himself here and he may gain different mannerisms here within a few months, I wouldn't worry but focus on the lil miracle comin soon, ya theres no certainty in life but I feel you guys have a tight relationship and he will be much less overwhelming than you think. We always anticipate far worse than what really is - like we flinch BEFORE gettin hit.

I am not that clean either...I don't cook...I like my own space...its all gonna change. Of coarse this AP isn't helping,its giving me MORE time to worry about more things but uh I think you will be fine. Remember Bridget's topic about if it sucks when they get here and she wrote a few days ago that it indeed DOESN'T suck It will be shaky to get them adjusted...job...baby! But just trust in God, and feel the blessings. You have a lot of them and God will take care of you.

Its hard for us to comfort when we have the same worries, but we are strong women, we can handle it. Our husbands love us dearly and they will be there for us as well. Or else what's the point of spending so much time and money when you can get one free here?

Love ya girl,

Take care of ur self and no worries

Psych yourself out with excitement and I know it will be a easier pill to swallow as the time for him to come nears. By then you will be so happy for his arrival that all these worries will subside.

Tammy

Edited May 9, 2008 by tammy2688

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I would assume that could be seen both ways... dont every feel you are not good enough , you are you, if you dont clean as good, then he is free to help, sometimes best to try and not take family sides etc. I know im not near as polite as ahmed with all his greeting, hellos and thank yous but this is life

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

I think this has just set in in the last couple of days as I have started to evaluate my pots and pans, my cooking ability and alot of things. There are alot of things very culturally different.. Not bad just different. Because I know EXACTLY what I am " supposed to do" I am panicking.

I have lived alone for 4 years with no husband and only one boyfriend in the interim. I havent had to make big dinners and they do not eat processed food. Everything is fresh. Every meal has salads. Every meal is laid out. They make everything from scratch. I know I am going to change my whole lifestyle. I am looking foward to seeing him . I am terrified my cooking wont be up to snuff... that I wont be able to cook all the things that I need to.

My husband is alot less americanized than alot of people here.. He will not eat any processed food. I am not a good cook. I am not afraid that hes inadequate. I am more scared of my short comings...

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

Its unimportant to someone "laid back" A sparkling house is very important to some people. I think I am just scared of letting him down.. or the USA not being something he wants.. I am just scared.. I have been trying to cook more just to get myself used to it.. I am just not a good cook.. I struggle

[tammy2688 1]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

I think this has just set in in the last couple of days as I have started to evaluate my pots and pans, my cooking ability and alot of things. There are alot of things very culturally different.. Not bad just different. Because I know EXACTLY what I am " supposed to do" I am panicking.

I have lived alone for 4 years with no husband and only one boyfriend in the interim. I havent had to make big dinners and they do not eat processed food. Everything is fresh. Every meal has salads. Every meal is laid out. They make everything from scratch. I know I am going to change my whole lifestyle. I am looking foward to seeing him . I am terrified my cooking wont be up to snuff... that I wont be able to cook all the things that I need to.

My husband is alot less americanized than alot of people here.. He will not eat any processed food. I am not a good cook. I am not afraid that hes inadequate. I am more scared of my short comings...

I feel you on the cooking...who cooks from scratch here on a regular basis? Yahoo news today said we cram 31 hours into 24 every day of our lives...I think it will be nice to get some middle eastern cook books and learn together, one meal one night and he can help ya prepare. He can eliminate for you these "shortcomings" which I think are not anything to feel abd about, we are just not used to/have the time to waddle around peeling vegetables and plucking chickens all day...

Take my idea, cook together and let him help you, its a togetherness thing dont take all the burden. I will take my own advice.

[Jenn! 918]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

Its unimportant to someone "laid back" A sparkling house is very important to some people. I think I am just scared of letting him down.. or the USA not being something he wants.. I am just scared.. I have been trying to cook more just to get myself used to it.. I am just not a good cook.. I struggle

Yes, well I guess I'm not sure what to tell you since being laid back is somewhat of a deal maker/breaker for me, pretty much for the very reasons you're talking about.

But it is what it is, so I say you get a cleaning service in to do the bulk of what you need to get done before he arrives. Then you can focus on maintenance. As for the cooking, practice practice practice. You won't be nervous to do something that you've done a hundred times. Maybe a class at a local college would help teach you some techniques that will help you be more efficient and feel more confident in the kitchen.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

I think this has just set in in the last couple of days as I have started to evaluate my pots and pans, my cooking ability and alot of things. There are alot of things very culturally different.. Not bad just different. Because I know EXACTLY what I am " supposed to do" I am panicking.

I have lived alone for 4 years with no husband and only one boyfriend in the interim. I havent had to make big dinners and they do not eat processed food. Everything is fresh. Every meal has salads. Every meal is laid out. They make everything from scratch. I know I am going to change my whole lifestyle. I am looking foward to seeing him . I am terrified my cooking wont be up to snuff... that I wont be able to cook all the things that I need to.

My husband is alot less americanized than alot of people here.. He will not eat any processed food. I am not a good cook. I am not afraid that hes inadequate. I am more scared of my short comings...

I feel you on the cooking...who cooks from scratch here on a regular basis? Yahoo news today said we cram 31 hours into 24 every day of our lives...I think it will be nice to get some middle eastern cook books and learn together, one meal one night and he can help ya prepare. He can eliminate for you these "shortcomings" which I think are not anything to feel abd about, we are just not used to/have the time to waddle around peeling vegetables and plucking chickens all day...

Take my idea, cook together and let him help you, its a togetherness thing dont take all the burden. I will take my own advice.

Well everyone in his family are absolutely AMAZING cooks from the grandmother to the mother to his sister to his aunts. They make EVERYTHING from scratch. All the women there do.. Cookies, breads... Cous Cous Lambs.. Dinner looks like a huge celebration everynight. They even make their own cous cous. I am imagining myself just beginning to freak. Its not middle eastern food either. Its north african with all the simmering , tagines, pastries, hand rolled stuff. The men there just arrive home and sit down. The women do everything. I work a full time job, I am pregnant. Oh I forgot the coffee tray with the sweets and the little cups and the whole spread. Literally , you could do that stuff all day long.,, ( coooking, breadmaking ,etc) and STILL not have time to hang out and sit and relax. Women over there work their asses off to make dinner and stuff. I think Morocco has Mc Donalds. Where my husband lives there are no Mc DOnalds or take outs or anything close. You want to eat? You buy a whole chicken? You want dinner? You buy everything same day. No shopping for tomatoes 3 days in advance. Everything is bought the day you decide to cook. You want ice cream? There is no freezer in the store. Wait till June and take a walk by the port lol

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

Its unimportant to someone "laid back" A sparkling house is very important to some people. I think I am just scared of letting him down.. or the USA not being something he wants.. I am just scared.. I have been trying to cook more just to get myself used to it.. I am just not a good cook.. I struggle

Yes, well I guess I'm not sure what to tell you since being laid back is somewhat of a deal maker/breaker for me, pretty much for the very reasons you're talking about.

But it is what it is, so I say you get a cleaning service in to do the bulk of what you need to get done before he arrives. Then you can focus on maintenance. As for the cooking, practice practice practice. You won't be nervous to do something that you've done a hundred times. Maybe a class at a local college would help teach you some techniques that will help you be more efficient and feel more confident in the kitchen.

I feel like I have to buy all new everything LOL

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

You're an old shoe at being a Mom so this should be familiar to you plus you've been a wife before so I am certain things are going to be much better this time around and once he's here awhile it will go smooth for you both. Remember nobody is perfect and when arguments arise take a break to collect yourselves and come back and talk calmly when you're ready.

For now give yourself some much needed TLC and try to occupy your mind with productive busy work until he's here. Delegate responsibilities as needed. You can do this. I have full confidence in your ability!

[Jenn! 918]

I think you need to focus on his positive qualities as well as your own. I wouldn't want to live with either of you after reading that, lol.

Think about what you can't wait to do together, not how clean the house is. That is so unimportant, really.

Its unimportant to someone "laid back" A sparkling house is very important to some people. I think I am just scared of letting him down.. or the USA not being something he wants.. I am just scared.. I have been trying to cook more just to get myself used to it.. I am just not a good cook.. I struggle

Yes, well I guess I'm not sure what to tell you since being laid back is somewhat of a deal maker/breaker for me, pretty much for the very reasons you're talking about.

But it is what it is, so I say you get a cleaning service in to do the bulk of what you need to get done before he arrives. Then you can focus on maintenance. As for the cooking, practice practice practice. You won't be nervous to do something that you've done a hundred times. Maybe a class at a local college would help teach you some techniques that will help you be more efficient and feel more confident in the kitchen.

I feel like I have to buy all new everything LOL

There is a lot to be said for great pots and pans, that's for sure.