Crazy question for the MENA people

[sarahaziz 0]

You got men beating their mothers and killing them here in USA what the heck is a wife compared to a mother who has nurtured a child and gets beaten by them?? Women are taken advantage of everywhere. Dating isn't considered abuse but it is when men play games and use the women for money, cheats on her and she has kids to take care of (I'm talking american with american). You don't have to beat a woman to abuse her.

Algeria is exactly as I described it and if you are American visiting there you can wear whatever you WANT as long as you cover up it's just a formality of respect if you don't want people to think otherwise of you. If your husband made you wear heavy clothing don't get upset my husband respects me as a woman. He has sisters no dad and a mother he's learned what a womans respect is. Villages you will see women from other countries wearing miini dresses Wallah for that. Thank God my husband isn't anything like the man you are marrying, he doesn't see any difference between Jews Muslims or Christians. We are all one people. When you die tomorrow what have you accomplished if you carry hate because of religion? Which God teaches that? God forgive ignorant individuals like you who try to push their ways and thinking onto other people.

I don't know if you were calling me a lose girl or what but I kept my self pure until marriage without any bfs. My husband cried when he knew my father accepted him to marry me. That's what my father taught me to be educated, be a good self respecting woman and your husband will respect you and work with you. That's exactly what I did with God's help and teachings of Jesus Christ. If your family in algeria doesn't respect you that you are fully american and are old enough to dress yourself as you want I'm so sorry I don't know how successful your marriage or happiness in this life will be but I pray God gives you some common sense because you are heading for disaster. This is your second marriage with an Arab and muslim I believe. It seems you havent learned anything about self respect.

First,

I have never called you loose . In fact I never addressed you in any of my posts. You came at me saying that because I am American I should stick to my own culture.

First, In many arab cultures it is NOT APPROPRIATE to kiss in the street. Period. At the airport upon arrival cheek cheek but its just not that common to see people kissing in many Algerian cultures.

Second , you and I have one critical difference. I have commited to raising my children muslim as their muslim Algerian father and yes he is from a very conservative muslim family as are most of his neighbors. The man who lives next to him calls the adhan every day and all his neighbors wives wear hijabs or at least a foulard and their social life consists of visiting each other in the houses, cooking , shopping together and going to the hamam for a public bath.

You don't need to point me towards disaster because unlike you, I choose to respect the dominant culture of the country where my husbands family is from and even if I was not together with him, his child would be raised as an Algerian MUSLIM respecting Islam and Algerian culture and society. You have posted on here asking for possible Jewish names for your Algerian child. Is this the norm Sara, even on another planet, Algeria is a muslim nation, period. The children are instructed in Islam in the neighborhoods and its part of the Algerian personality. You have discussed already having clashes with your husband over your behavior in hugging one of his family members. You dont need to worry about my behavior. I am anticipating constantly on the side of conservative behavior and unlike you, my child will likely practice Islam whether in the USA or not.

As to implying that the behavior you describe as the norm all over Algeria? I think not. Even women who dress conservatively are still bound by conservative Algerian rules such as not letting the child out of the country without the fathers permission. The man can still divorce you easily and is permitted 4 wives. Everything may be all sunshine and roses right now, Sarah but the fact still remains. You are married to an Algerian muslim . He will want his children raised Muslim not Christian. Period. You cannot maintain western behavior over there for any protracted period of time and expect to stay with him. I knew going into this what kind of man I was marrying and the conservative nature of his family. Period.

You are not desribing Algeria . You are describing where you live and what is accepted there. It is NOT accepted all over Algeria to go out at night, dressing whatever way you want and doing whatever way you want. Its wasnt even until 2002 that the Islamic insurgency slowed down and hijab has remained a way for women to protect themselves against terror and unwanted advances. To not acknowledge this is simply irresponsible

LOL I didn't hug anybody you have to give true thorough information before spitting any false accusations out. You might want to get your Sarah Aziz personal stalking information file corrected.

I'm describing Algeria Everywhere. You can't go out at night without your spouse TRUE, why would you want to ?

I don't care what you do with your kids that's your and your previous ex - husbands business.

Your meeting your spouse online and spending 2 months visiting Algeria is not enough to complete an argument about people and society. How would you propose 1 answer for all those billions of people in Algeria and others who have toured algeria?

Your 4 wives theory is a dead issue. Men exposed to TRUE Islam know 4 wives aren't for pleasure marriage it's for shortage on men in time of war or what not. It's not hey I'm a man if I want 4 wives I will do it without consulting my wife - that's forbidden in Algeria.

You can't speak for all Algeria and Algerians. You being American is one of the reasons you can't speak for my country. It hurts but it's the truth woman. Loosen the Hijab a little it's stopping blood flowing through your brain.

I don't think anybody reading all these posts are that stupid to think going into any Middle East North African country you can run around naked or losely at night with your friends being a female. I think everyone is adult enough to know the formalities of any country. If they don't they can ask that's what a middle eastern forum is for.

You've chosen to respect your husbands wishes over your own, and that's fine. I have a good man a very clean one who respects me. He's my bestfriend I can talk to him about anything if I like something or not. I can speak up that's what a marriage is. One dominating over the other if that's marriage for some people then so be it. Don't let your husband forget you are American and so are your kids. He can't take their rights to life and believe what they want away and be controlling.

Don't try to speak for my husband and our future to come kids, IM his wife not you. I don't jump into any big decision in life without looking into reality you need to do that. Your posts about your husband not letting you do this that it's all over the damn MENA forum. We're tired of your personal problems bc you don't come here to help or cheer anyone up you come to speak about your friend whos friend whos friend is morroccan or algerian and used them for green cards. I pity someone elder to me who has no sense.

Maybe you need some lovin from your husband to calm down. I'm sure he showed you what a real algerien is that's why you've jumped into Algerian culture from Morroccan culture lol. Stickin with the arabs.

[jpaula 20]

Wahrania,

I do not think anyone is disputing your experience in Algeria or with your Algerian husband's family. The problem arises when you take that, add selective bits of Algerian history, and then make absolute statements about what Algerian culture is. The fact that Algeria is a Muslim country does not mean that no one is Christain or Jewish nor that Algerian men will not marry Christains or Jews or even allow their children to be named or raised as such. The fact that some women cover does not mean that everyone does nor that it is required by law or by culture. The fact that it is a Muslim country does not mean that all women are virgins when they marry.

Norms vary by family, by neighborhood, by city. Further, norms do not define every individual. There are many ways to live in Algeria (or anywhere) and for those of us who have lived there, we had to find a life that worked for us. It is absolutely possible, if not always easy, to do so. In a year and a half of living there and traveling extensively I covered only once to observe a Mawlid ceremony in Ghardaia. I wore Western clothes daily including to work where all of the other teachers (all Algerian, most married) and almost every one of the students (all Algerian) did the same. I walked hand in hand with my husband on the beaches of Oran watching Algerian women in bikinis walk by. I went to bars with my husband and his friends where we talked about politics and religion. I also sat with the women and made cous cous and ate cookies. I was accepted into his family even though I am not Muslim.

There is huge variety within almost any culture and Algeria is no exception. Were anyone to decide to live there (which I think was the original question) they could forge a life that suited them while still being respectful of local culture. There may be norms, but Algeria (by law and by vitrue of a very diverse and cosmopolitan past) allows much more variance from the norm than most Muslim countries described in this forum. It may be much more difficult with some families that others, but that is not a statement on Algerian culture but on the difference among families.

Your choice to marry a conservative man and to live a conservative Algerian life is your choice, not a requirement by any definition--legal, cultural or other. It is an idividual experience. Both your Algeria and Sarah's Algeria (and mine for that matter) exist. They exist simultaneously--a fact that shows the very idea of culture to be much more complex than you declarations allow.

[sarahaziz 0]

Oh don't get me wrong I didn't say you are wrong I said I've never seen a man hurt his wife in public I know it happens privately. I'm aware of what you are saying and it's not fully wrong. You are categorizing my country into one personality. The dress, the culture, the way of life, the respect, the family. Algeria isn't how you are explaining it. That's what makes me think you've only visited for a couple of months and how could you see so much negative situations in that time span?? Like where is your husband all that time? How were you observing other people so much!!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

You got men beating their mothers and killing them here in USA what the heck is a wife compared to a mother who has nurtured a child and gets beaten by them?? Women are taken advantage of everywhere. Dating isn't considered abuse but it is when men play games and use the women for money, cheats on her and she has kids to take care of (I'm talking american with american). You don't have to beat a woman to abuse her.

Algeria is exactly as I described it and if you are American visiting there you can wear whatever you WANT as long as you cover up it's just a formality of respect if you don't want people to think otherwise of you. If your husband made you wear heavy clothing don't get upset my husband respects me as a woman. He has sisters no dad and a mother he's learned what a womans respect is. Villages you will see women from other countries wearing miini dresses Wallah for that. Thank God my husband isn't anything like the man you are marrying, he doesn't see any difference between Jews Muslims or Christians. We are all one people. When you die tomorrow what have you accomplished if you carry hate because of religion? Which God teaches that? God forgive ignorant individuals like you who try to push their ways and thinking onto other people.

I don't know if you were calling me a lose girl or what but I kept my self pure until marriage without any bfs. My husband cried when he knew my father accepted him to marry me. That's what my father taught me to be educated, be a good self respecting woman and your husband will respect you and work with you. That's exactly what I did with God's help and teachings of Jesus Christ. If your family in algeria doesn't respect you that you are fully american and are old enough to dress yourself as you want I'm so sorry I don't know how successful your marriage or happiness in this life will be but I pray God gives you some common sense because you are heading for disaster. This is your second marriage with an Arab and muslim I believe. It seems you havent learned anything about self respect.

First,

I have never called you loose . In fact I never addressed you in any of my posts. You came at me saying that because I am American I should stick to my own culture.

First, In many arab cultures it is NOT APPROPRIATE to kiss in the street. Period. At the airport upon arrival cheek cheek but its just not that common to see people kissing in many Algerian cultures.

Second , you and I have one critical difference. I have commited to raising my children muslim as their muslim Algerian father and yes he is from a very conservative muslim family as are most of his neighbors. The man who lives next to him calls the adhan every day and all his neighbors wives wear hijabs or at least a foulard and their social life consists of visiting each other in the houses, cooking , shopping together and going to the hamam for a public bath.

You don't need to point me towards disaster because unlike you, I choose to respect the dominant culture of the country where my husbands family is from and even if I was not together with him, his child would be raised as an Algerian MUSLIM respecting Islam and Algerian culture and society. You have posted on here asking for possible Jewish names for your Algerian child. Is this the norm Sara, even on another planet, Algeria is a muslim nation, period. The children are instructed in Islam in the neighborhoods and its part of the Algerian personality. You have discussed already having clashes with your husband over your behavior in hugging one of his family members. You dont need to worry about my behavior. I am anticipating constantly on the side of conservative behavior and unlike you, my child will likely practice Islam whether in the USA or not.

As to implying that the behavior you describe as the norm all over Algeria? I think not. Even women who dress conservatively are still bound by conservative Algerian rules such as not letting the child out of the country without the fathers permission. The man can still divorce you easily and is permitted 4 wives. Everything may be all sunshine and roses right now, Sarah but the fact still remains. You are married to an Algerian muslim . He will want his children raised Muslim not Christian. Period. You cannot maintain western behavior over there for any protracted period of time and expect to stay with him. I knew going into this what kind of man I was marrying and the conservative nature of his family. Period.

You are not desribing Algeria . You are describing where you live and what is accepted there. It is NOT accepted all over Algeria to go out at night, dressing whatever way you want and doing whatever way you want. Its wasnt even until 2002 that the Islamic insurgency slowed down and hijab has remained a way for women to protect themselves against terror and unwanted advances. To not acknowledge this is simply irresponsible

LOL I didn't hug anybody you have to give true thorough information before spitting any false accusations out. You might want to get your Sarah Aziz personal stalking information file corrected.

I'm describing Algeria Everywhere. You can't go out at night without your spouse TRUE, why would you want to ?

I don't care what you do with your kids that's your and your previous ex - husbands business.

Your meeting your spouse online and spending 2 months visiting Algeria is not enough to complete an argument about people and society. How would you propose 1 answer for all those billions of people in Algeria and others who have toured algeria?

Your 4 wives theory is a dead issue. Men exposed to TRUE Islam know 4 wives aren't for pleasure marriage it's for shortage on men in time of war or what not. It's not hey I'm a man if I want 4 wives I will do it without consulting my wife - that's forbidden in Algeria.

You can't speak for all Algeria and Algerians. You being American is one of the reasons you can't speak for my country. It hurts but it's the truth woman. Loosen the Hijab a little it's stopping blood flowing through your brain.

I don't think anybody reading all these posts are that stupid to think going into any Middle East North African country you can run around naked or losely at night with your friends being a female. I think everyone is adult enough to know the formalities of any country. If they don't they can ask that's what a middle eastern forum is for.

You've chosen to respect your husbands wishes over your own, and that's fine. I have a good man a very clean one who respects me. He's my bestfriend I can talk to him about anything if I like something or not. I can speak up that's what a marriage is. One dominating over the other if that's marriage for some people then so be it. Don't let your husband forget you are American and so are your kids. He can't take their rights to life and believe what they want away and be controlling.

Don't try to speak for my husband and our future to come kids, IM his wife not you. I don't jump into any big decision in life without looking into reality you need to do that. Your posts about your husband not letting you do this that it's all over the damn MENA forum. We're tired of your personal problems bc you don't come here to help or cheer anyone up you come to speak about your friend whos friend whos friend is morroccan or algerian and used them for green cards. I pity someone elder to me who has no sense.

Maybe you need some lovin from your husband to calm down. I'm sure he showed you what a real algerien is that's why you've jumped into Algerian culture from Morroccan culture lol. Stickin with the arabs.

You have repeatedly brought up the fact that I am American everytime I have said anything about Algeria. Yet when I met you here on the forums, you knew so little about Algerian music,popular culture or history, that I even began to doubt that you were even Algerian. Now that I know you are a smagria, I know perfectly well why you don't know anything about Dahmane El Harrachi, chaabi, traditional music or even the most basic history about your country.For the longest time, I did not believe you were even Algerian because your knowledge was so limited and stunted. Now I understand why. You were not raised there and you have no intention on adapting to the culture there nor have you faced any semblence of reality that what you are doing is completely against popular Algerian culture.

You have repeatedly bashed American culture throughout your posts. You belittle Americans implying that somehow someone being American makes them less able to perceive or realise what is happening around them. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to realise that common sense dictates that you look around you and follow the customs of the family that you are with and the people that you around. If you choose to torment your husband by hanging on his male relatives, smoking sheesha and all in all not at all adapting to the ways of the people around him, hey thats your deal . But in the end of the day, he is a muslim and muslims according to Islamic law must raise their children muslim and all your heeing and hawing doesn't erase that a child has enough to deal with without having his mom doing things that openly defy the culture of his father.... further embarassing that child.

Not all Algerians are "arabs". Many are Mozabite , Chaoui, Kourgouli, Arab, Kabilye. Some are even of Turkish descent. But Algerians have one underlying common trait. Most are muslim. Period. The Algerian law is based in Islamic law.

[sarahaziz 0]

Ohhh lala askut.

[sara535 15]

excellent post

Wahrania,

I do not think anyone is disputing your experience in Algeria or with your Algerian husband's family. The problem arises when you take that, add selective bits of Algerian history, and then make absolute statements about what Algerian culture is. The fact that Algeria is a Muslim country does not mean that no one is Christain or Jewish nor that Algerian men will not marry Christains or Jews or even allow their children to be named or raised as such. The fact that some women cover does not mean that everyone does nor that it is required by law or by culture. The fact that it is a Muslim country does not mean that all women are virgins when they marry.

Norms vary by family, by neighborhood, by city. Further, norms do not define every individual. There are many ways to live in Algeria (or anywhere) and for those of us who have lived there, we had to find a life that worked for us. It is absolutely possible, if not always easy, to do so. In a year and a half of living there and traveling extensively I covered only once to observe a Mawlid ceremony in Ghardaia. I wore Western clothes daily including to work where all of the other teachers (all Algerian, most married) and almost every one of the students (all Algerian) did the same. I walked hand in hand with my husband on the beaches of Oran watching Algerian women in bikinis walk by. I went to bars with my husband and his friends where we talked about politics and religion. I also sat with the women and made cous cous and ate cookies. I was accepted into his family even though I am not Muslim.

There is huge variety within almost any culture and Algeria is no exception. Were anyone to decide to live there (which I think was the original question) they could forge a life that suited them while still being respectful of local culture. There may be norms, but Algeria (by law and by vitrue of a very diverse and cosmopolitan past) allows much more variance from the norm than most Muslim countries described in this forum. It may be much more difficult with some families that others, but that is not a statement on Algerian culture but on the difference among families.

Your choice to marry a conservative man and to live a conservative Algerian life is your choice, not a requirement by any definition--legal, cultural or other. It is an idividual experience. Both your Algeria and Sarah's Algeria (and mine for that matter) exist. They exist simultaneously--a fact that shows the very idea of culture to be much more complex than you declarations allow.

[sarahaziz 0]

What is the purpose to openly discuss my knowledge about my own country?? Nobody cares? Only somebody obsessed with Algeria like you would care about pointless things to Algerians being posted up in a forum.

Respect yourself when you call me like this or talk about me in that way, you should let your husband see yourself on these forums. He will know what kind of "respect" you think you hold and what you really have. If I wasn't a respected individual I wouldn't have a good husband.

Don't get personal with me for anything you don't know. Algeria isn't as you have presented it and of course I'm not anything as you have posted up about me.

Where are your kids? You should go take care to them instead of speaking with a 20 year old Arab about her life and ways of life. You are an embaressment to any mother and I feel sorry for your kids. They're mother posts up nonsense personal problems of her life and goes around brainwashing women about Arab culture when she couldn't even hold down a Morroccan man to respect her and stay married with her. Yeah don't let it get that ugly between you and me. Nobody can disrespect me or my Country. I'd stand up for Americans too if it came to that. I've supported them and how theyre perceived by many Foreigners. I've always been helpful to women who have Pm'ed me with personal marriage problems. I guess they actually know I'm here to help visa question or not. I think you're one of those women who marry out of the culture and get jealous if anyone else married out of the culture only you can do that and only you know what the middle east is about.

Jpaula has told you so respectfully compared to how I'd make you know.

[sarahaziz 0]

How'd my innocent original questions turn out to be so horrible everytime by you and 3 other women on this board???

Too much time on these womens hands I think. and bitterness

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

What is the purpose to openly discuss my knowledge about my own country?? Nobody cares? Only somebody obsessed with Algeria like you would care about pointless things to Algerians being posted up in a forum.

Respect yourself when you call me like this or talk about me in that way, you should let your husband see yourself on these forums. He will know what kind of "respect" you think you hold and what you really have. If I wasn't a respected individual I wouldn't have a good husband.

Don't get personal with me for anything you don't know. Algeria isn't as you have presented it and of course I'm not anything as you have posted up about me.

Where are your kids? You should go take care to them instead of speaking with a 20 year old Arab about her life and ways of life. You are an embaressment to any mother and I feel sorry for your kids. They're mother posts up nonsense personal problems of her life and goes around brainwashing women about Arab culture when she couldn't even hold down a Morroccan man to respect her and stay married with her. Yeah don't let it get that ugly between you and me. Nobody can disrespect me or my Country. I'd stand up for Americans too if it came to that. I've supported them and how theyre perceived by many Foreigners. I've always been helpful to women who have Pm'ed me with personal marriage problems. I guess they actually know I'm here to help visa question or not. I think you're one of those women who marry out of the culture and get jealous if anyone else married out of the culture only you can do that and only you know what the middle east is about.

Jpaula has told you so respectfully compared to how I'd make you know.

Sarah,

You have repeatedly bashed American culture, values, implied that somehow American women are seen as less than by foreigners. You just did it again in your post saying you defend us and how we are perceived.

Let me clue you into something. Americans don't need defending. You are an immigrant to this country because your family decided that life here was better for you than living overseas. Our culture doesn't need your defense nor do American women. As far as marriage advice, you are a 20 year old not even old enough to drink but your mouth seats 5 like a station wagon. No one here needs marriage advice from a child who never lived with her husband much less even filed her own financial affadavit. For you to somehow tell me that I cannot see things with my own eyes much less perceive them by myself is ludricrous.

You asked me where my husband was on all my trips to Algeria. I only met him in 2006. I had been travelling in and out of Algeria and Tunisia over the last 7 years. I did not meet Algeria through him. I actually met him when I was in Algeria doing something for work. My perceptions are based on actual experiences as well as interactions with Algerians both in Algeria and Europe for almost a decade. I know people who had family members killed by Islamists and I have known people with family members killed for no other reason than being artists or painters or musicians. Unless you dont watch the news, its a daily occurance and weekly occurance for Algeria's branch of Al Qaeda to kill and maim. Algeria is not the idealistic place you may have in your brain. As JP said, everyone of our perceptions are reality. 100 hundred miles from your favorite shopping location bejaja, babies had their bodies ripped open and women were decapitated in Rais for not wearing hijab less than 8 years ago. 6 months ago the UN building was torn to shreds killing over 70 people. Car bombs are going off almost daily and the islamic insurgency has changed the face of even the bigger cities..... even Algiers... Your idyllic world does not exist all over Algeria and in the west In Chlef, there are murders almost every week and its not reported in popular Algerian press.

As Jp said , your Algeria does exist, in a very limited part of Algeria. It certainly doesnt exist in Chlef, Bourmedes, Tiaret and it didnt exist in Algiers December 11th. Dont tell me what to think about anything Sarah. You assume my understanding and knowledge was based on a internet hookup and marriage. I am anything but ignorant about Algerian day to day life. My husband served in the mountains picking up dead bodies mutilated by Islamists. You were 14 years old when the bulk of the Algerian civil war ended and your husband nor you has really lived the reality of what transpired from 1988 on. Perhaps the people that I was with had some pretty awful memories of what life was like then and always err on the side of covering too much for safety. They werent safe in France like your family during the civil war that killed 100,000 people

[allousa 1]

W -

You have made it a practice of painting an entire culture of people with the same brush based on your experiences with a man of that culture/country (i.e., Palestinians, Algerians). You talk about how distasteful and horrible these cultures are and how much you hate being "controlled".

Perhaps your time would be better spent looking inward at the choices you have made rather than bashing other people for the personal choices. If you find this culture so abhorrent, then why choose a husband from this culture a second time?

[jpaula 20]

W, For your own good I am asking you to stop. Whatever valid points you may have buried in your posts, you lose all credibility when you start lecturing a woman whose family is from Jijel what life was like in the civil war or how political violence effects culture.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

W -

You have made it a practice of painting an entire culture of people with the same brush based on your experiences with a man of that culture/country (i.e., Palestinians, Algerians). You talk about how distasteful and horrible these cultures are and how much you hate being "controlled".

Perhaps your time would be better spent looking inward at the choices you have made rather than bashing other people for the personal choices. If you find this culture so abhorrent, then why choose a husband from this culture a second time?

I have never ever said that Algerian culture was distasteful, ever. If you read the post that Sarah posted back to me, my posts to her were in reference to the fact that she said that I as an American don't have an accurate impression of the things that I saw. This is less about Algeria and culture than it is about realising that experiences can be very varied within one country and all be accurate depictions. I have never said that I hate being controlled. I have felt uncomfortable but with good reason.

I have never ever been mistreated by anyone Algerian. Sarah is the only Algerian in 8 years that has ever said anything disrespectful to me.

Algerians and Palestinians are two completely different cultures. Algeria managed to free itself from its occupiers . Palestine did not. They are a completely different group of people with strikingly different lifestyles, food culture and history

[aisha kandisha 0]

Algerians and Palestinians are two completely different cultures. Algeria managed to free itself from its occupiers . Palestine did not. They are a completely different group of people with strikingly different lifestyles, food culture and history

I know this will derail this already derailed thread, but you have said this before.

What are you getting at when you say Algeria managed to free itself from occupiers, Palestine did not?

[allousa 1]

I dunno but I can tell u what I'd expect if I were being petitioned to go to his country (if it worked that way).. I'd expect to be lonely and cry a lot. Then, I'd expect to stay with his family coz we'd not have our own home and prolly be expected to cook and clean all day, which would only make the lonliness and crying worse.... that's what I'd expect.

amal

After what I went through on this last trip ( me getting really sick) and my daughters accident over there... as much as I think things are pretty there... and now expecting a baby... I would not go. I saw things very differently this last trip ( the blinders were off)

Its very fun being a man over there.. they wander around,,, walk out at night... enjoy themselves.. listen to music. If you are a girl that has a brother or are married , you can pretty much expect to be stuck in the house, tearing the feathers out of chickens and sitting around waiting for your husband to show up at home. I also was made to dress in ways I did not want do the fact that he wanted to project a certain image for me so I was sweating to death half the time and extremely unhappy even though I had been to Algeria 3 times before. I can imagine, with heavy hijab, a jilbab, a screaming unhappy and tired pre schooler and a new baby, then being subjected to places with no ac , no sanitation on a regular basis and all kinds of cultural norms... I just cant adjust to.. I just would want to live there if I wasnt married to my husband honestly because if I was allowed to be just a western person it wouldnt be so bad, but I am really expected to tow the whole islamic barbie line and I aint having that again like December.. I really really was pissed at alot I saw... I saw men throwing things at women, slapping them in the head in the streets.. just all kinds of #######.. I like being in America.. Its different in some places.. but I was put through alot and my memories are very unhappy ones

Speaking for myself, your post came across as viewing this type of behavior as "abhorrent" and controlling. I'm not talking about Sara's posts.

You seem to forget previous posts from different topics where you have openly bashed Palestinian people, even Moroccans. You cannot presume to know anything about our SOs unless you have personally met them and have knowledge of their wishes for their families. You are assuming an awful lot when you make these broad statements.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

W, For your own good I am asking you to stop. Whatever valid points you may have buried in your posts, you lose all credibility when you start lecturing a woman whose family is from Jijel what life was like in the civil war or how political violence effects culture.

Whatever valid points that you found while spelunking through my posts, I am glad you found some of them.

I certainly wouldnt tell someone from Santa Barbara ( Jiljel) what life was like in Waco , Texas ( Chlef)

This is not a doctoral thesis. Its a message board. Unfortunately, somehow its become tied to peoples egos. There is the "ignore " button. If people dont agree with other peoples perceptions of things or their general line of posting, they can ignore the poster and make them disappear. Perhaps Sarah should make me disappear.

I don't agree with her and to this day if I asked her the most basic questions about history, music or culture, she is unable to answer them . She does seem incredibly knowledgable about shopping so if I want to buy some boots in Bejaja, I ll give her a shout.