Am I the only one,

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Well, why else would she have married me? I am happy to help

[Imua 0]

This is so similar to my case. No one ever thought i'd get married. I never thought i'd get married... finding the better half of myself has really upset the order of things. i know so many people (Americans) who are unhappy in their marriages... sometimes i think people just hope that mine too will fail... it's been a very terrible thought to contend with.

Don't listen to anyone... You know what you are doing...

Same here - I thought I would never get married. I think too many people have a checklist for a spouse which usually focuses on superficial things like looks and money - they want to have kids so they marry the first person who comes along who matches their 'checklist' and then they end up unhappy despite on the surface 'having it all'. I am happy I waited even though we will most likely never have biological kids of our own - there are many ways of creating a family.

[Rocketta 0]

Well, it is against the law. And it's against the law because of the privileges spouses (or intended spouses) get: automatic greencard number generated, ability to waive criminal histories and other ineligibilities, relatively (compared to other immigrant visas) fast processing, no educational or professional barriers. The government has no interest in letting them immigrate except to the extent that it provides a benefit for a citizen. If that's not there, why would they want your spouse here?

Sisters can be a bit of a pain. One of mine -- and she'd met my husband before he immigrated -- spent quite a lot of time hinting that I wasn't ready to be married. It wasn't a pleasant argument, but from her perspective, she was worried that I was rushing things due to immigration. (We dated three years before we married, so.)

Rocketta, I don't know how you met your fiance, but if you met online, and you're not from Iraq, your sister is probably just worried as anything and can't understand it. It's hard to understand a long-distance relationship if you haven't done it, and the popular perception of 'fiance visa' is still some loser living in his mom's basement finding some impoverished desperate third-world girl half his age who will leave him as soon as she can. I'm not saying she's right to say what she said, but she's not coming from a position that's likely to make her able to see that you actually have a valid relationship. So what's she got? Worry about her sister being taken advantage of by some guy who for all she knows is just desperate to get out of a bad situation. Unless your sisters really are sociopaths, it's probably not that they want you in your place, it's that they don't understand how the hell you can be marrying someone they think you don't know.

Time usually helps with these things.

yes that is all probably true but I have never questioned their choices in mates and I just expect the same from them. I had to inform them that they don't know me like they think they do. I was able to give them the benefit of the doubt in the beginning but the choice has been made now accept it.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

"This is the sort of story that ends with you dead under a bear." -- my dad, right before I flew to Canada for the first time (our second meeting.)

I was lucky...my family reserved judgement until they met Darren...and now they love him as much as I do...

I've had a couple of people ask me the question about the green card...well-meaning, but extremely insensitive...

[chri'stina 190]

I don't think anyone ever said to me that he was using me for a GC, but a co-worker or two at the time we were going through the visa process did try to tell me that he will treat me badly because "you know how they are in India. He'll make you wait on him hand and foot".

My family wasn't too concerned when I went to meet Sujeet because my dad came with me. They had talked to him on the phone several times before that. I sometimes wonder if I am the only one on VJ who didn't go alone to meet their SO. Neither my family nor Sujeet wanted me to travel to India alone, I didn't want to go alone either! I know I am blessed that my parents were so trusting of me. My dad felt like if I felt the way I did about Sujeet, it must be something real and he'd go with me to meet him.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I sometimes wonder if I am the only one on VJ who didn't go alone to meet their SO.

[chri'stina 190]

I don't get it Troll...I don't watch The Simpsons...is it some joke that I am not getting?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I don't get it Troll...I don't watch The Simpsons...is it some joke that I am not getting?

nevermind!

[Rocketta 0]

I don't think anyone ever said to me that he was using me for a GC, but a co-worker or two at the time we were going through the visa process did try to tell me that he will treat me badly because "you know how they are in India. He'll make you wait on him hand and foot".

My family wasn't too concerned when I went to meet Sujeet because my dad came with me. They had talked to him on the phone several times before that. I sometimes wonder if I am the only one on VJ who didn't go alone to meet their SO. Neither my family nor Sujeet wanted me to travel to India alone, I didn't want to go alone either! I know I am blessed that my parents were so trusting of me. My dad felt like if I felt the way I did about Sujeet, it must be something real and he'd go with me to meet him.

I tried to get someone to go with me but no one would.

[rebeccajo 14]

The third person who said it was my 86-year old grandmother. This was the VERY FIRST thing she said when she found out I had gotten married, and maybe will be the last thing she ever says to me - I have not spoken to her since.

Pattu -

You know, I've buried all my grandparents now. And my parents are getting on in years and needing more and more help all the time. The only other blood family I have is my sister and my son.

I'd probably cut my grandmother a break if I were you. Older people are sometimes more set in their ways, and sometimes they've earned the right to speak freely to family by virtue of the wisdom they've acquired through life experience. I really doubt your Gran meant to be harsh.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.

JMHO.

Edited May 5, 2008 by rebeccajo

[Caladan 19]

Rocketta, have your sisters ever talked to him on the phone or e-mailed?

[Ban Hammer 13,619]

What I did actually hear (since we met on the internet) was a fear from family that he was dangerous or would hurt me physically in some way. I also had questions as to whether or not we knew each other well enough.

tangling with becca would be akin to picking a fight with a grizzly bear........

[rebeccajo 14]

What I did actually hear (since we met on the internet) was a fear from family that he was dangerous or would hurt me physically in some way. I also had questions as to whether or not we knew each other well enough.

tangling with becca would be akin to picking a fight with a grizzly bear........

....only if you pi$$ me off.

Otherwise I'm sweet as pie.

[Ban Hammer 13,619]

What I did actually hear (since we met on the internet) was a fear from family that he was dangerous or would hurt me physically in some way. I also had questions as to whether or not we knew each other well enough.

tangling with becca would be akin to picking a fight with a grizzly bear........

....only if you pi$$ me off.

Otherwise I'm sweet as pie.

[Rocketta 0]

Rocketta, have your sisters ever talked to him on the phone or e-mailed?

no, just my mother. They refuse to have anything to do with him. Having said that, if he was here I think they would talk to him.