Language barrier

[pnrmbr975 1]

I had no communication problems with my wife at all. I guess I am fortunate that she speaks, writes and understands american english perfectly well. She even thinks English.

But it seems that other spouses have major issues with their English and they easily get offended or react inappropriately to what has been said. And it gets worse when they take things personally and won't talk to you because of something you just said. They think you are disrespectful or insulting their origin.

If you try to explain things, the person starts to talk non-sense. How do you handle people who refuse to be taught or refuse to understand English? I know learning takes time but how do you handle the non-sense? Please don't tell me to be more patient.

Edited May 4, 2008 by pnrmbr975

[Nessa 23]

who is it you have a problem if not your wife? I think the person has to want to learn and improve their English, you can't force them. Is this person you're having an issue a family member, employee, friend, or just someone you happen to know?

Take me for example, I want to improve my English and I want some people to teach/help me. But I think it's rude if a stranger or someone I'm not close try to correct me without me asking.

I have a few co-workers that I prefer them to help me than ignore my pronounciation when I say something wrong. Because some words I know I just can't pronounce and some words I don't even know I'm pronouncing wrong. And if they ignore it, I will keep thinking I'm pronouncing it right and I don't want that, I want to have a close to perfect English.

Now if a stranger or a co-worker that I am not close or I just dislike come and correct me out of nowhere, I get offended. I didn't ask them to do so, it's rude.

[AlHayatZween 2]

Now if a stranger or a co-worker that I am not close or I just dislike come and correct me out of nowhere, I get offended. I didn't ask them to do so, it's rude.

yeah, i agree. delivery is key.

as for the OP,

my hubbie and i have been very lucky in that we speak all the same languages to some degree of proficiency. but there are always going to be miscommunications... even American couples, speaking native, home-grown American English, have miscommunications.

i've found that for us, it's important to call it as we see it immediately. if you are in the middle of a discussion and it's just escalating, it's always helpful to consider the language barrier, and admit that you or your SO might be processing something differently based on language and interpretation... even if you are both speaking the same language. sometimes just taking a step back and re-stating something a different way or explaining how you are intending to say something can go a long way...

[mnieto 2]

Mostly I get p#ssed off when I 'm already tired of speaking English,and if I have the impression that I just can't express myself the way I'd like to. Then I just desperately long to speak in my own language, but am fully aware that this is unfortunately impossible. I am the one who has to adopt the (for me) foreign language, which then sometimes leads me to get even more frustrated. It's a cursed circle. Some patience and understanding for the immigrant is the key...

[sweetpink 1]

My concern is more on my pronunciation and I told my hubby from the very start to correct me and I always ask him the meaning of the words that he uses if it's not too familiar for me

[William33 110]

Closed at the request of the OP.