Some people's parents....

[MichelleandCraig 1]

My Ex-fiance and sons father(biologically ONLY and...thank goodness he's sooooooo long gone by the way, but that's another story.. heh heh) was given a 100.00 dollar bill taped to the top of a box with some pot in it for Christmas one year...he wasn't that old..can't remember his age exactly now. Some people are just absolutely ignorant. M.

PS..I was raised in a very strict(but wonderful!) home environment and when I was old enough got involved with this person fairly quickly...I don't regret it, because I could NEVER regret my son for one moment ...but I certainly think that nothing would have happened had I taken the time to get to know him OR his family a bit before things progressed...I was young and stupid, what can I say? I would never do anything like that nowdays. His mother later went to prison..twice..for cocaine usage and selling. :wacko:

Edited May 7, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[antone 0]

Maybe if she'd tried to get him help to STOP drugs, find out his reason for using and sorted THAT out, instead of condoning it, he wouldn't be a drug addict now... What did she teach him? Not to be responsible about to drugs but to a. make him think it was 'ok' to take them and b.taught him to turn to drugs in a crisis.

Drugs are still illegal or maybe she chose to 'ignore' that part.

To me that's like saying I'll sit in the car with my kid when they have drunk too much to make sure they don't crash.

Its not a solution.

No, it's not a solution. The reason why he used pot was because it feels good. There was/is no crisis, he just likes the way he feels when he smokes pot. There's no underlying reason why most people use drugs.

She couldn't supervise him 24/7. It was only when she stopped actively supervising his drug use that it became a serious problem for him.

As to legality, well, we have all broken laws somewhere along the line (65 in a 55 zone, anyone?). Personally, I don't judge the rights or wrongs of something based on whether or not it is against the law.

[Fandango 1,439]

Maybe if she'd tried to get him help to STOP drugs, find out his reason for using and sorted THAT out, instead of condoning it, he wouldn't be a drug addict now... What did she teach him? Not to be responsible about to drugs but to a. make him think it was 'ok' to take them and b.taught him to turn to drugs in a crisis.

Drugs are still illegal or maybe she chose to 'ignore' that part.

To me that's like saying I'll sit in the car with my kid when they have drunk too much to make sure they don't crash.

Its not a solution.

No, it's not a solution. The reason why he used pot was because it feels good. There was/is no crisis, he just likes the way he feels when he smokes pot. There's no underlying reason why most people use drugs.

She couldn't supervise him 24/7. It was only when she stopped actively supervising his drug use that it became a serious problem for him.

As to legality, well, we have all broken laws somewhere along the line (65 in a 55 zone, anyone?). Personally, I don't judge the rights or wrongs of something based on whether or not it is against the law.

So for all her 'friendly' supervision...it taught him absolutely ####### all in the end anyways

I swear, kids these days...ya smoke pot with them repeatedly, then you turn your head for one minute, and BAM! they're in jail

[antone 0]

So for all her 'friendly' supervision...it taught him absolutely ####### all in the end anyways

I swear, kids these days...ya smoke pot with them repeatedly, then you turn your head for one minute, and BAM! they're in jail

It might have taught him something, if the well-intentioned authorities hadn't poked their noses in. In truth, though, I think it was more damage limitation than anything else. The fact that my parents repeatedly warned me of the dangers of drugs, booze and teenage sex didn't stop me doing any of them.

There is some value in the idea that, if you want a teenager not to do something, do it yourself. They'd never be so uncool as to do the same things as you

[Fandango 1,439]

So for all her 'friendly' supervision...it taught him absolutely ####### all in the end anyways

I swear, kids these days...ya smoke pot with them repeatedly, then you turn your head for one minute, and BAM! they're in jail

It might have taught him something, if the well-intentioned authorities hadn't poked their noses in. In truth, though, I think it was more damage limitation than anything else. The fact that my parents repeatedly warned me of the dangers of drugs, booze and teenage sex didn't stop me doing any of them.

There is some value in the idea that, if you want a teenager not to do something, do it yourself. They'd never be so uncool as to do the same things as you

Wow, gotta love lack of personal responsibility. It's not the mom's fault for getting high with her kids, or the son's fault for taking drugs, it's the COPS' fault! Unbelievable!!!

I'm not saying the kids will never smoke pot...but I as a parent am certainly not going to condone it & skin up with my kids, and I will educate them when they're old enough...repeatedly, every day if I have to. And I'm not above scaring them, either. My mom actually brought me for random drug tests when I was younger...scared the ####### outta me enough to not do anything bad.

This is not about cool. This is about being a parent, not a buddy, but a parent & raising a human being so that they are capable of making right decisions when they are older. Not everything in life is your parents' fault, but I'd say an adult with a drug problem who can say he got high with mom shows an utter failure on mom's part.

[iceyspots 0]

How come you have to take tests written and physical to get a drivers license, but anyone with a uterus can pop ouit a kid ????

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

How come you have to take tests written and physical to get a drivers license, but anyone with a uterus can pop ouit a kid ????

perhaps mandatory parenting classes in high school? (note - in arkansas make that junior high)

[antone 0]

Wow, gotta love lack of personal responsibility. It's not the mom's fault for getting high with her kids, or the son's fault for taking drugs, it's the COPS' fault! Unbelievable!!!

I'm not saying the kids will never smoke pot...but I as a parent am certainly not going to condone it & skin up with my kids, and I will educate them when they're old enough...repeatedly, every day if I have to. And I'm not above scaring them, either. My mom actually brought me for random drug tests when I was younger...scared the ####### outta me enough to not do anything bad.

This is not about cool. This is about being a parent, not a buddy, but a parent & raising a human being so that they are capable of making right decisions when they are older. Not everything in life is your parents' fault, but I'd say an adult with a drug problem who can say he got high with mom shows an utter failure on mom's part.

Subject dropped before I lose my temper.

[antone 0]

My comment above came across as harsher than I intended. Basically, we are talking about a very good friend of mine who has dealt with many obstacles in her life. I can't fully explain the logic behind her decisions, and she herself would never claim to have chosen the right action on all occasions.

Nonetheless she is not a bad parent, and to a huge extent her son is the victim of his own choices, not hers.

[Fandango 1,439]

My comment above came across as harsher than I intended. Basically, we are talking about a very good friend of mine who has dealt with many obstacles in her life. I can't fully explain the logic behind her decisions, and she herself would never claim to have chosen the right action on all occasions.

Nonetheless she is not a bad parent, and to a huge extent her son is the victim of his own choices, not hers.

Hey, just fyi I don't mean to vbash your friend...I just think in this particular instance she chose poorly. That doesn't mean i'm making sweeping generalizations about her asa whole.

[mrswooten4ever 0]

My cousin is a rehabilitaded drug addict. It took him 2 years in isolation within the Catholic Church to kick his habit. His habit also cost him a professional football career with Liverpool and very nearly his life. He now has to have chemotherapy for the damage the drugs did to his liver. He now counsels other addicts. My aunt (his mom) helps set up halfway houses for addicts who have come out of the isolation programme to help rehabilitate to normal life and find jobs again. It is very easy to judge others but some of us have addictive personalities and some of us dont. What a lot people dont realise is that certain hard drugs are addictive after the first hit. Some are physically addictive and some are mentally. A drug addict like and alcoholic cant be helped until they are ready to help themselves - my cousin's words not mine. Oh I forgot to mention Paul is in his late thirties not a kid by any stretch of the immagination

Adele

Edited May 7, 2006 by MrsW2B

[antone 0]

Hey, just fyi I don't mean to vbash your friend...I just think in this particular instance she chose poorly. That doesn't mean i'm making sweeping generalizations about her asa whole.

Yeah, I realise that - it's why I backtracked.

To be honest, I don't think I would have done what she did. But there is logic. She could, for example, make sure that he didn't drive while smoking. And it all comes back to the fact that he would have smoked the stuff anyway, and like many teenagers, there isn't a damn thing she could have said (and precious little she could have done) to stop him.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I totally agree with your post(antone)above, but I also think we, as parents, should do EVERYTHING in our power to DIScourage it and not promote it. I agree with Lisa basically; probably a very good person overall, but a REALLY bad choice. M.

[antone 0]

I totally agree with your post(antone)above, but I also think we, as parents, should do EVERYTHING in our power to DIScourage it and not promote it. I agree with Lisa basically; probably a very good person overall, but a REALLY bad choice. M.

Life is all about difference of opinion. In this case, she took a pragmatic approach, which may or may not have been wise.

I don't know. For example, while I can't say my parents "encouraged" me to drink, they did attempt to demystify it by allowing me to drink small amounts under close supervision. The reasons why some intoxicants are legal and others are not is largely a matter of historical accident, so I would view those situations as somewhat analogous.