Balkans United - Albania, Montenegro, Macedonia, Kosovo, Croatia, Bosnia & Herzegovinia, Greece, Bulgaria, Serbia

[albkos 1]

Yeah well hopefully they will change with time.......how do you guys deal with the inlaws and stuff? I know they are far away but have there been issues or expectations

Susie - I see on your profile you set a wedding date! Congratulations!!!

That is another thing how did you guys decide on wedding plans? either to have one here or there or both?

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Yeah well hopefully they will change with time.......how do you guys deal with the inlaws and stuff? I know they are far away but have there been issues or expectations

Susie - I see on your profile you set a wedding date! Congratulations!!!

That is another thing how did you guys decide on wedding plans? either to have one here or there or both?

thanks we are both pretty bad at planning, because we are very 'go with the flow' types...but yea, we are thinking about that date, nothing is written in stone though

we will go out to a mediterranean restaurant here in brooklyn, with some family and friends (very small) and whenever we get to visit albania next (december or spring depending on ap status), we will have a bit of a celebration there as well

my in-laws are wonderful...i love each and every one of them, they are the sweetest, and i have never had any issues with them...they have been very accepting and open from day one...i know that i am very lucky

[LKDougherty 0]

New girls on the brand name clothes...

They're fake.

The brand names that are available in Kosovo and Albania all come from Turkey. My husband's uncles own a few "Dolce and Gabanna" as well as "Armani" shops in Kosovo. They told me about how in Istanbul and other cities are Turkey it is full of foriegners from Eastern countries buying fake goods to take back to their countries.

My husband doesn't expect dinner for the most part, but considering that he works construction, he is more exhausted than me managing and doing office work for the day.

He doesn't like me sweep. He gets frustrated at my cleaning skills. I don't think that they're up to par with his, so most of the time we end up fighting about how I supposedly don't know how to sweep or clean.... but he finishes it so ... :-)

I love how he thinks he can fix anything, and is perplexed by how little I see my family and how small it is.

They have big beautiful families that kiss and pinch you all the time right? In Kosovo I felt like a Princess.

[Creel 0]

In-laws are no problem. They worship their son and by extension me. Although daughter-n-laws are suppose to take over all the chores since I visit for only a week at a time they wait on me like a queen. I did bring gifts the first time I met them.

We had a big traditional Albanian wedding ceremony before he got his visa. We just didn't register it with the governement so it wasn't legal and didn't mention it when he was interviewed. I don't even know if anyone but his parents knew it wasn't legal. Once we had the interview date scheduled I reserved a church for two different dates (My cousin was the minister so they allowed it). We didn't hire a photograper or DJ so the multiple dates wasn't a problem planning and once he got here we chose the closest date. I think we actually spent more on the 4 day Albanian wedding then our 4 hour American wedding.

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

In-laws are no problem. They worship their son and by extension me. Although daughter-n-laws are suppose to take over all the chores since I visit for only a week at a time they wait on me like a queen. I did bring gifts the first time I met them.

We had a big traditional Albanian wedding ceremony before he got his visa. We just didn't register it with the governement so it wasn't legal and didn't mention it when he was interviewed. I don't even know if anyone but his parents knew it wasn't legal. Once we had the interview date scheduled I reserved a church for two different dates (My cousin was the minister so they allowed it). We didn't hire a photograper or DJ so the multiple dates wasn't a problem planning and once he got here we chose the closest date. I think we actually spent more on the 4 day Albanian wedding then our 4 hour American wedding.

wow, 4 day wedding!! thats awesome...what did you guys do??? what is a traditional albanian wedding like? how does it differ from an american one?

[Creel 0]

Traditionally it is Thursday through Sunday, but we had to have our Wed - Sat since I had to go home. The first three evenings the groom's family go to his house and party and the bride's family goes to her place (I stayed with his family since I had no one in Albania).

On the last day you wear traditional wedding attire (White dress/Black Suit) and the Groom's family gets together in the morning and parties a little and then they go to the Bride's and pick her up and they all go somewhere together (ie park, hall, etc. I had to hide in the bedroom a few hours since I was suppose to be at my families so I can't tell you what they did)

Then you have a big reception with food and dancing. When the party is over you are married. No actual ceremony takes place. In reality you can just go register as married with the Government without any service at all. We just didn't register, so it wasn't legal.

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Traditionally it is Thursday through Sunday, but we had to have our Wed - Sat since I had to go home. The first three evenings the groom's family go to his house and party and the bride's family goes to her place (I stayed with his family since I had no one in Albania).

On the last day you wear traditional wedding attire (White dress/Black Suit) and the Groom's family gets together in the morning and parties a little and then they go to the Bride's and pick her up and they all go somewhere together (ie park, hall, etc. I had to hide in the bedroom a few hours since I was suppose to be at my families so I can't tell you what they did)

Then you have a big reception with food and dancing. When the party is over you are married. No actual ceremony takes place. In reality you can just go register as married with the Government without any service at all. We just didn't register, so it wasn't legal.

sounds like a party!!!

we should do one of those when we go to albania

[Jenni 0]

lol this thread is pretty funny, and i can totally relate to so much of it!

my husband is Albanian and when we were first married (we were married here in albania where we are still living together until he gets his visa) we lived with his parents a while. And it is true, there is some belief among men that women actually enjoy doing all the housework and ironing! One time, for example, his father asked me to iron his clothes for work. I was doing it, and he said, but I don't want you to do it if you don't want to.. .Just if you would like to!! lol

Also my husband said that he would help in the house once we got our own.. because of course under his parents roof he really didnt do any housework. his mother, like the traditional albanian mom, did everything. however, now we have our own house and he hardly helps me at all. once in a while he does but... It has caused much arguing. He washes dishes occasionally now though... So I think he's getting better.

He didn't know how to cook, but I am slowly starting to teach him, however, at first he didnt even want to learn.

It totally must be a culture thing.

[albkos 1]

lol this thread is pretty funny, and i can totally relate to so much of it!

my husband is Albanian and when we were first married (we were married here in albania where we are still living together until he gets his visa) we lived with his parents a while. And it is true, there is some belief among men that women actually enjoy doing all the housework and ironing! One time, for example, his father asked me to iron his clothes for work. I was doing it, and he said, but I don't want you to do it if you don't want to.. .Just if you would like to!! lol

Also my husband said that he would help in the house once we got our own.. because of course under his parents roof he really didnt do any housework. his mother, like the traditional albanian mom, did everything. however, now we have our own house and he hardly helps me at all. once in a while he does but... It has caused much arguing. He washes dishes occasionally now though... So I think he's getting better.

He didn't know how to cook, but I am slowly starting to teach him, however, at first he didnt even want to learn.

It totally must be a culture thing.

How do you like living in Albania? My fiance asks me if I could live in Kosovo. I am like yeah but I think I would get bored if I did not have a job and just doing housework everyday day in and out...At least he is trying but don't let his mother see him doing dishes she might have a heart attack......

[Creel 0]

When I went to visit Albania the first time, my husband (then Fiance) had been living with his parents for about 2 months while he waited for his interview. One day when it was just the two of us at the house I asked for some cake. He jumped up to get it for me (This was before our Albanian ceremony so he was still on his best behavior) and then he paused and looked at all the kitchen cupboards. He had no idea where the plates were!!!! This is the house he had spent his childhood in and where he had lived for 2 months without a job, so he was there everyday, but had no idea which cupboard plates were stored in.

I've seen his male cousin almost drop a glass when his sisters didn't get there quick enough with the tray to collect it and I've seen daughter-n-laws cook and serve a whole meal only to leave the room when we all ate.

We have a long and interesting fight ahead of us girls:-)

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

yea, i think this comes up at least once a day...last night i was falling asleep as we were finishing eating our dinner (i was exhausted from work, planning a wedding and planning a move), and so he actually took our plates into the kitchen and cleared the table ...i know that he didnt wash any of the plates though, that would be just too much to ask...ill let you know if they are still in the sink when i get home tonight

Edited May 16, 2008 by BabyBlueSusie

[albkos 1]

Did your fiance's speak english before coming here or are they learning now? How is learning english going? Have anyone tried the cd's or ESL classes? What do you recommend? I sometimes slip up and say things in english to my fiance and he will repeat it back to me....I start laughing because of the accent....and him saying a few words in english.....

Has it been difficult learning english for them?

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Did your fiance's speak english before coming here or are they learning now? How is learning english going? Have anyone tried the cd's or ESL classes? What do you recommend? I sometimes slip up and say things in english to my fiance and he will repeat it back to me....I start laughing because of the accent....and him saying a few words in english.....

Has it been difficult learning english for them?

it has been pretty difficult for gazi, because he is not the type to sit down and study with a book or something...he went to one free english class here that is provided by our public library...he liked it, but he got a job shortly after that and had to stop going because the schedules were conflicting...his ead stamp will expire soon, and we are moving to a new city, so he will be unemployed for a while (until he gets his ead card), so he will be going to a free english class in our new city...the class is four days a week, 3 hours a day

my sister also purchased him a cd-rom course which is called berlitz...he just got it a few days ago and hasnt tried it out yet...there are lots of albanians and italians here in nyc, so he has been able to communicate with them, but unfortunately, in my opinion, he hasnt really learned all that much english, considering he has been here for over two months...i guess i think that because i tend to pick up languages fairly quickly, and really really enjoy learning them....hes just different in that way

hopefully living in indiana will help because he will have more motivation to learn due to the lack of albanians in that area...we shall see

and oh yea, the accent is very cute

[albkos 1]

Yes, I can see not liking books and taking the time to read them. When I visited my Fiance we bought an english -albanian dictionary. He has not looked at it once!!!!!

My fiance also speaks German so I am hoping it will help with picking up english quicker. I have noticed some word are the same as in english. I don't hang out with too many Albanians so he will mostly be immersed with english speaking people unless he gets a job working with Albanians.....which than he will not learn much english there.

I was thinking about purchasing the Berlitz or Rosetta stone but I am not sure if the cd's will be helpful or not. There are Albanians in Indiana so don't be surprised if they find eachother......

Good Luck with your move!

[Jenni 0]

lol this thread is pretty funny, and i can totally relate to so much of it!

my husband is Albanian and when we were first married (we were married here in albania where we are still living together until he gets his visa) we lived with his parents a while. And it is true, there is some belief among men that women actually enjoy doing all the housework and ironing! One time, for example, his father asked me to iron his clothes for work. I was doing it, and he said, but I don't want you to do it if you don't want to.. .Just if you would like to!! lol

Also my husband said that he would help in the house once we got our own.. because of course under his parents roof he really didnt do any housework. his mother, like the traditional albanian mom, did everything. however, now we have our own house and he hardly helps me at all. once in a while he does but... It has caused much arguing. He washes dishes occasionally now though... So I think he's getting better.

He didn't know how to cook, but I am slowly starting to teach him, however, at first he didnt even want to learn.

It totally must be a culture thing.

How do you like living in Albania? My fiance asks me if I could live in Kosovo. I am like yeah but I think I would get bored if I did not have a job and just doing housework everyday day in and out...At least he is trying but don't let his mother see him doing dishes she might have a heart attack......

It's ok living here in Albania, but I have had some really hard times. Mainly because we live in a very small town and I have nothing to do! I am used to having a job and having a car and thats been hard. THe language has also been difficult. I don't have a teacher and mainly have taught myself. My husband doesnt like to sit down with me and teach me from a book which is how i learn the best. He's good at practicing talking with though, which is also good. But anyways that said, I am mostly hanging out with my husband's guy friends who speak english. not many girls here that i know speak english it seems.. If they do, they have all moved to different, bigger cities. But things are getting better, as I have been here a year, I am able to speak and understand a lot more and this has helped. I am teaching english to Tili and 2 of his friends. I tried opening an english course in the town but didnt have much luck with that. It is also difficult here because its a small town and there are especially not many things for girls to do. Guys can go play pool or soccer, but girls are not allowed to do these things. Or its not so much not allowed, but its just the unwritten rule, you know? Even though its been hard I think its good in the long run that I've been here to understand and get a taste of Tili's culture.

Haha i have to laugh at the part about his mother seeing him wash the dishes. I remember when we were still living with his parents and his mother or sister saw him washing the dishes, they stopped him and told him he didnt know what he was doing.

As for english, my husband did study english in school and 1 year in university but mostly he has learned through speaking with me. He isn't good about studying, and sitting down with books but he seems to learn fast and pick up things from english movies he watches or just us talking together.