Urgent Help!

[Kez/JWolf 6]

It is so sad to see some people become so bitter and twisted because of thing that have not worked out for them..... You only have to hope that by coming here and spouting their hate and distrust of all people going through immigration based on marriage, that they will some day find the peace and forgivness to be able to move on with their lives.....

Very Sad....

Kezzie

[dmartmar 1]

It is so sad to see some people become so bitter and twisted because of thing that have not worked out for them..... You only have to hope that by coming here and spouting their hate and distrust of all people going through immigration based on marriage, that they will some day find the peace and forgivness to be able to move on with their lives.....

Very Sad....

Kezzie

I agree with you 100%.

[agatha 0]

Dmartmar is VJ’s resident devil’s advocate. His comments make me laugh and shake my head sometimes. Woe to his fiance, I’d hate to be in her shoes.

My immigrant ex-wife had to return to her home country soon after she failed to obtain a GC through me.

I became a devil's advocate right afterwards.

Why don't you get a LIFE instead dmartmar! You are sooo pathetic!

Edited May 8, 2006 by agatha

[dmartmar 1]

Why don't you get a LIFE instead dmartmar! You are sooo pathetic!

I have a life I can't complain about.

[CarolineM 0]

i think he has a right to raise an eyebrow at some of the questions asked...and honestly since it's NOT the OP that is in question here - why is everyone so defensive??? The details as posted in the original post were not correct...

I think that the situation DOES sound a bit weird...

[MrsAmera 41]

*sigh* I just was trying to get a few questions answered for her. Sorry to have caused a battle.

[Pinay Wife 47]

i think he has a right to raise an eyebrow at some of the questions asked...x x x why is everyone so defensive?

I take offense/defense when someone says that the foreign fiance/spouse is only after a green card when the marriage fails.

The details as posted in the original post were not correct...

This is not for me but for a co-worker. She will greatly appreciate any help anyone can give on this issue. She came here in January on a K3 visa and is at odds with her husband

Okay, so maybe the OP missed to use a few noun/pronoun as do some of us here. So OP should have worded it … “This is not for me but for a co-worker’s friend. The friend greatly appreciate any help anyone can give on this issue.” So what’s the big deal with that? The thing is OP corrected the misconception. So why can’t we just accept it as that? Why do we judge and think the worst right away?

Why don't you get a LIFE instead dmartmar! You are sooo pathetic!

I have a life I can't complain about.

I don’t think so, dmartmar. You are a complainer and a whiner. You have been duped by your foreign fiancee and you are projecting your anger and frustration to the other foreign fiancees/spouses in this forum. Get on with your life and move on. You have my sympathies though.

Edited May 9, 2006 by PatientlyWaiting

[BR549 0]

The Devil's Advocate means that you don't always see the person you are talking to's side. Which helps them create a whole other view and maybe admit faults and correct them before they take things too far and never see their own mistakes and faults before it is too late. It is never a bad idea to have one of those around. My best friend's are ones that will tell me if i think i'm making a mistake. That has to come with a certain amount of not being rude or condescending. I guess there is a balance that has to happen.

And I agree totally with dmartmar in that if your wife chooses to work illegally, jeopardizing your ability to be together then she probably doesn't care that much about the relationship and if I were looking at the husband's point of view that would be an ender for me. I'm not at all speaking with bitterness either. My husband wasn't about to do 1 illegal thing that would put our relationship in jeopardy and he went back to work today.

This is just another fine example of how not knowing the full story can lead to out of line opinions. But we only know what we read.

If the abuse (if there is any) is the real issue well that's a whole other ball game. But then again we don't really know. I hope she finds the resources to get help. I hope she is not being abused and is simply having communication problems with her husband. I also hope she is not in fact trying to work illegally (like many of us have perceived) as that only makes it more difficult for immigrants in the future.

We just need to keep one thing in mind. This website was designated for support and guidance in our processes. i have found it priceless. You can say what you think and give good advice without being mean. And just because someone writes something you don't want to hear doesn't necessarily mean it isn't right.

[Billy 0]

I have to agree with Dmartmar!!! I always see about immigrant spouse complaining USC spouse abusing them. What about USC spouse being abused by immigrant spouse? Seem like everything USC fault. What the hell is going on here?

Bill

[BR549 0]

I don't think everything is the USC's fault. I'm sure it happens both ways just as frequently. We probably just hear more about it when the immigrant has the problems because they are in a strange place and need help when they often times have no idea where to get it. I wish it didn't happen at all. But it happens nonetheless and it stirs us up. There are good and bad people everywhere you go. Sometimes you have to just take your lumps in life, chalk it up to a bad experience and keep on keeping on.

[Billy 0]

it's true about not all USC's fault. But seem reporting about USC abuse. Maybe the immigrant spouse need to learn to adapt to her/his new country. I'm tired to hear ABUSE BY A USC SPOUSE when open mouth. Is this the only claim to gain GC? sometime, I don't' know what is on the immigrant mind. Maybe, she already have a lover living in the states, and looking for a way out. I agree, there are bad and good people. Just can't blame on side. Use to hands to clap.

Bill

[De & Al 0]

If her husband is abusing her she should find a abuse telephone # from the city that she is in, and as for as immigration I think that there is a law that protects her from been deported if she is been abuse. I think that if she could prove that he is abusing her, she could get her green card with out his help.

Tell her to look into this however she could call the abuse hot line first they could tell her, her rights.

[Pinay Wife 47]

I wasn't very objective in my comments about dmartmar and I apologize for that Sorry dmartmar, I did not mean to judge you. I can understand where you are coming from. All I want to say is that not all immigrants are scammers and fraudsters.

Abuse can happen both ways ~ from the USC and from the immigrant SO as well. We just have to deal with the abuse the best way we can.

Peace to all!

Edited May 9, 2006 by PatientlyWaiting

[dmartmar 1]

I take offense when someone says that the foreign fiance/spouse is only after a green card when the marriage fails.

If you've noticed a pattern, almost all fraudulent marriages involve or end up with the immigrant claiming being ABUSED by his/her USC spouse, which the 'CIS offers as an alternative mean for a GC.

The details as posted in the original post were not correct.

This is not for me, but for a co-worker. She would greatly appreciate any help anyone can give her on this issue. She came here in January on a K3 Visa and is at odds with her husband.

Okay. So maybe the OP mis-typed a few nouns/pronouns, as some of us do here. So the OP should have worded it: “this is not for me, but for a co-worker’s friend. The friend would greatly appreciate any help anyone can provide on this issue." What’s the big deal with that? The thing is the OP corrected the mis-conception. Why can’t we accept it just as that? Why do we judge and think the worst right away?

The OP corrected her post after realizing she exposed her co-worker as working illegaly, in a public immigration forum, which no one knows if whether the US Gov't. monitors or doesn't.

I don’t think so dmartmar. You are a complainer and a whiner. You have been duped by your foreign fiancee and are projecting your anger and frustration to the other foreign fiancees/spouses in this forum. Get on with your life and move on. You have my sympathies though.

None of my posts are based on anger or frustration. Having experienced a fraudulent marriage myself and reading/sharing so many similar stories with other USCs, my posts are meant to help and advice anyone going through one, which BTW, VJ does not condone. I've become VERY GOOD at reading between the lines and recognizing the red flags in fraudulent marriages, right away. Like I said before, they ALL follow the same patterns, behaviours, claims and actions by the immigrant.

Edited May 9, 2006 by dmartmar

[Pinay Wife 47]

If you've noticed a pattern, almost all fraudulent marriages involve or end up with the immigrant claiming being ABUSED by his/her USC spouse, which the 'CIS offers as an alternative mean for a GC.

Admittedly, immigrant fraudsters and scammers have abused VAWA. And these fraudsters are the ones that make it hard for the legitimate people to get visa or GC.

But there is also a pattern of abuse by USCs. VAWA was not offered before. It is precisely because of claims of abuse by the USCs that ‘CIS offered VAWA as an alternative to get GC. ‘CIS understands the sorry situation of an abused immigrant

None of my posts are based on anger or frustration. Having experienced a fraudulent marriage myself and reading/sharing so many similar stories with other USCs, my posts are meant to help and advice anyone going through one, which BTW, VJ does not condone.

Your last post did not have a trace of the usual sarcasm which I have come to expect from you. I kinda missed that

I’m sorry dmartmar that you’ve encountered a fraudster and I hope you find that special someone in your life. Another foreigner perhaps? Sorry couldn't help that one