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How do you cope leaving your family behind?

By NCWife in Moving to the US and Your New Life In America

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NCWife Community Regular

NCWife   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Malaysia
 Timeline
Posted

I know I should be happy that I will be reunited with my baby in less than 2 months (if my interview goes well) but at the same time, I feel sad that I will be leaving my family behind especially my mother. :cry: I know I won't be able to come back any time to see her.........I wish Malaysia is not 26 hrs away from Charlotte....

I am sure many of you if not all, have gone through this "heart-breaking" feeling and I am just curious how you cope with this ????

Cheers... :mellow::cry:

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” - Jim Stovall -

Our Journey

2008-08-15 .......... Married on K-1!!!!

2009-08-28 .......... Sent AOS (I-485 and I-765) Application to Chicago

2009-09-11 .......... NOA 1 for I-485 and I-765

2009-09-25 .......... Biometrics Appointment in Charlotte, NC (walk-in)

2009-10-08 .......... EAD Approved (CRIS update)

2009-10-08 .......... I-485 Touched, I-485 Case transferred to CSC (CRIS update)

2009-10-09 .......... Biometrics Appointment #2 in Charlotte, NC (walk-in)

2009-10-15 .......... I-485 Case transferred to USCIS office

2009-10-16 .......... I-485 Touched, EAD card arrived in the mail

2009-10-19 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-04 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-05 .......... I-485 RFE (CRIS update)

2009-11-06 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-10 .......... RFE arrived in the mail

2009-11-12 .......... RFE response sent back to CSC

2009-11-17 .......... RFE Received at CSC (CRIS update)

2009-11-18 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-23 .......... I-485 Notice that new permanent resident status has been registered

2009-11-24 .......... I-485 Card production ordered

2009-11-25 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-30 .......... I-485 Approval Notice sent, Permanent Resident Card in the mail!!!

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Giskat09 Proficient

Giskat09   2

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

forget your family? NO WAY!!!

CITIZENSHIP 06-19-2013 Sent N400 Application (Chicago Lockbox)


06-21-2013 USCIS received my N400 application


06-25-2013 USCIS mailed the NOA1


06-28-2013 USCIS mailed the Biometrics appt


07-01-2013 Received NOA1 and Biometrics appt letter


​07-15-2013 Biometrics Appt.


08-27-2013 Interview/Test passed


10-07-2013 Oath taking


IR-5 MOM AND DAD


02-20-2014 mailed I-130 for my parents


02-24-2014 USCIS received the I-130 docs


03-17-2014 USCIS approved the petition (took 15 days, weekdays only)


03-25-2014 USCIS shipped the approved case to NVC


04-02-2014 NVC received the papers (6 days from the approval date)


05-01-2014 Got the 2 case numbers. (21 days)


05-07-2014 Got an email & paid the AOS fee (4 days); DS-261(Choice of Agent) sent


05-09-2014 AOS status "PAID" (2 days from the date the was paid)


05-22-2014 AOS docs delivered in NVC


06-27-2014 RFE for I864 and I864A (i left the Place of residence blank, 26 days from the date they received the AOS)


06-28-2014 Mailed the corrected forms to NVC


06-30-2014 NVC received the AOS corrected forms


07-01-2014 Received IV Bill Invoice, paid.


07-02-2014 PAID status of the mother


07-07-2014 PAID status of the father


07-08-2014 Mailed the supporting docs


07-10-2014 Supporting docs arrived at NVC


07-11-2014 Submitted DS260 of mother


07-13-2014 Submitted DS260 of father


09-04-2014 Called NVC and the lady said CASE COMPLETE! (136 days total from the day they received the I-130)


09-11-2014 Received an email regarding the Interview (5 days from the day the case was completed)


09-15-2014 Status "In Transit" inCEAC


09-16-2014 Status "Ready" CEAC


10-03-2014 Interview/AP/USEM (no record of their medical,DAD needs to get an NBI explanation letter&new NBI clearance with his "aka"


10-8-2014 Mom called St Lukes and asked about the medical results, they said they submitted it already back in June


10-10-2014 Mom mailed the NBI Clearance of my dad


10-14-2014 NBI clearance delivered in USEM


10-06-2014 Visa Issued CEAC


10-09-2014 Got an email that my dad's visa was issued


10-14-2014 Visa delivered 11-29-2014 POE


12-08-2014 SS Card arrived

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NCWife Community Regular

NCWife   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Malaysia
 Timeline
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Posted
You have to forget all about them. When you come to America, you become American. Being American means hating all foreigners, even your own parents.

:huh: Err....

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” - Jim Stovall -

Our Journey

2008-08-15 .......... Married on K-1!!!!

2009-08-28 .......... Sent AOS (I-485 and I-765) Application to Chicago

2009-09-11 .......... NOA 1 for I-485 and I-765

2009-09-25 .......... Biometrics Appointment in Charlotte, NC (walk-in)

2009-10-08 .......... EAD Approved (CRIS update)

2009-10-08 .......... I-485 Touched, I-485 Case transferred to CSC (CRIS update)

2009-10-09 .......... Biometrics Appointment #2 in Charlotte, NC (walk-in)

2009-10-15 .......... I-485 Case transferred to USCIS office

2009-10-16 .......... I-485 Touched, EAD card arrived in the mail

2009-10-19 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-04 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-05 .......... I-485 RFE (CRIS update)

2009-11-06 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-10 .......... RFE arrived in the mail

2009-11-12 .......... RFE response sent back to CSC

2009-11-17 .......... RFE Received at CSC (CRIS update)

2009-11-18 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-23 .......... I-485 Notice that new permanent resident status has been registered

2009-11-24 .......... I-485 Card production ordered

2009-11-25 .......... I-485 Touched

2009-11-30 .......... I-485 Approval Notice sent, Permanent Resident Card in the mail!!!

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Amby Grand Master

Amby   490

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Filed: Timeline
Posted
jiskat if you can't do that then maybe you are not ready for the awesomeness and amazingness and sheer fabulosity of American life.

wow troll I couldn't have said it better myself :thumbs: I'm glad someone finally came out and said it!!!!!

You have to forget all about them. When you come to America, you become American. Being American means hating all foreigners, even your own parents.

:huh: Err....

Sounds to me like you aren't ready.

I agree. Maybe just stay home and forget about America if you can't conform

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth.

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Krikit Grand Master

Krikit   1,164

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted
You have to forget all about them. When you come to America, you become American. Being American means hating all foreigners, even your own parents.

:huh: Err....

He's joking, CL. :lol:

I won't kid you, leaving your family and friends and life behind is heartbreaking. It took me about a year to come to terms with it, but I am able to visit often so that helps a lot. Don't forget that the people you leave behind are also going to be heartbroken and angry, so they are going to require as much comforting as you are. It's a terrible situation but, eventually, you'll learn to cope. Just don't forget that you are also going to be adjusting to marriage at the same time.... which is hard enough in itself.... but then it's compounded by the relocation and homesickness. You'll find yourself getting angry and upset with your husband for seemingly no reason. Just remember that the reason is all of the above. Realizing that is half the battle in learning to cope. Big hugs. (F)

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Flames9_RN Grand Master

Flames9_RN   358

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

I just killed them all off!! Now I dont miss them,and can't visit canada ever again,lol

Canadians Visiting the USA while undergoing the visa process, my free advice:

1) Always tell the TRUTH. never lie to the POE officer

2) Be confident in ur replies

3) keep ur response short and to the point, don't tell ur life story!!

4) look the POE officer in the eye when speaking to them. They are looking for people lieing and have been trained to find them!

5) Pack light! No job resumes with you

6) Bring ties to Canada (letter from employer when ur expected back at work, lease, etc etc)

7) Always be polite, being rude isn't going to get ya anywhere, and could make things worse!!

8) Have a plan in case u do get denied (be polite) It wont harm ur visa application if ur denied,that is if ur polite and didn't lie! Refer to #1

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Glen&Teresa Explorer

Glen&Teresa   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted
I know I should be happy that I will be reunited with my baby in less than 2 months (if my interview goes well) but at the same time, I feel sad that I will be leaving my family behind especially my mother. :cry: I know I won't be able to come back any time to see her.........I wish Malaysia is not 26 hrs away from Charlotte....

I am sure many of you if not all, have gone through this "heart-breaking" feeling and I am just curious how you cope with this ????

Cheers... :mellow::cry:

On a serious note - let technology work for you - webcams, snipes and other devices really can make you feel you are in the next room from some one half a world away. I will be leaving four children and my folks behind when I move. I know I will have my good days, and I will have my bad

But think of it this way - life has to be about moving forward - you are about to embark on a great adventure, creating a new life in a new country. Embrace it for what it is, not what you are sacrifing to do it

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Nearly Done Collaborator

Nearly Done   8

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Timeline
Posted
You have to forget all about them. When you come to America, you become American. Being American means hating all foreigners, even your own parents.

:rofl::lol:

:rofl:

I just killed them all off!! Now I dont miss them,and can't visit canada ever again,lol

:rofl::lol:

If only it was that easy :lol::help:

Posted 129f to VERMONT 4th March 2004.

Recieved first NOAL 8th March 2004.

NOA2 dated 23rd April 2004.

Recieved packet 3, 13th May 2004.

Hoping for an August Interview!

Court hearing for permission to take children 2nd August!

Interview Date August 5th!

Got visas,Yessssssssssss!

Fly out the 16th August to be with my lovely John.

Married October 30th, 2004!

Posted off AOS , and AP on the 13th November 2004.

Now more waitng begins............................

NOAs for 1-485,>,AP recieved 25th Nov,2004 dated 19th Nov,2004.

Biometrics/fingerprints appointment made for 22 December 2004.

AP approved on the 5th Jan 2005.

EAD approved on the 7th Jan 2005.

recieved on the 13th Jan 2005.

AP recieved on the 14th Jan 2005.

Passed driving test on the 2nd Feb,2005!

AOS interview date July 2005!

AOS Approved!!!!

April 25th 2007 Vermont recieve paperwork for I-751

Refiled June 26th

Card ordered Dec 18th 2007

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Nearly Done Collaborator

Nearly Done   8

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Timeline
Posted

I was heartbroken when I left my family, especially my daughter:( and my now new granddaughter.

You are not going to able to leave home without the pain but you can find ways of making it easier for you. Being a mum, I know YOUR mum will just simply want you to be happy. I hurt so bad leaving my daughter who is almost 22, I missed her so bad and all I wanted was for her to be happy and that makes me happy:)

She had the option to come here, even had her visa and plane ticket, but backed out the last few days to stay with her boyfriend.

We talk almost everyday and I see her and the baby on webcam, that helps alot. I send lots of things to them, even go shopping online to Tescos for groceries for them. I try and do all the little helpful things I would be doing if I was there. I send her flowers and "miss you" cards. She and her hubby were having a first night out together after her having the baby, so I sent her perfume,earrings, a bracelet, necklace and some cute underwear, to make her feel special, as ofcourse she is!

I have been able to see my granddaugher crawl. which delighted me! I have seen her cute funny faces, I have watched her running from her mummy in her babywalker,giggling away!!

The obvious thing I miss most is not being able to kiss and hug, but doing all the other things still help and make it easier for us all. In all honesty yes you are 26 hours away, but thats all! it is not like you are never going to see eachother again.

My advice would be to keep contact as much as you can via phone,cam, letters,cards, and photos!! it truly does get easier. Ofcourse I do have bad days but knowing she is happy makes it better.

Posted 129f to VERMONT 4th March 2004.

Recieved first NOAL 8th March 2004.

NOA2 dated 23rd April 2004.

Recieved packet 3, 13th May 2004.

Hoping for an August Interview!

Court hearing for permission to take children 2nd August!

Interview Date August 5th!

Got visas,Yessssssssssss!

Fly out the 16th August to be with my lovely John.

Married October 30th, 2004!

Posted off AOS , and AP on the 13th November 2004.

Now more waitng begins............................

NOAs for 1-485,>,AP recieved 25th Nov,2004 dated 19th Nov,2004.

Biometrics/fingerprints appointment made for 22 December 2004.

AP approved on the 5th Jan 2005.

EAD approved on the 7th Jan 2005.

recieved on the 13th Jan 2005.

AP recieved on the 14th Jan 2005.

Passed driving test on the 2nd Feb,2005!

AOS interview date July 2005!

AOS Approved!!!!

April 25th 2007 Vermont recieve paperwork for I-751

Refiled June 26th

Card ordered Dec 18th 2007

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JVKn'CVO Experienced

JVKn'CVO   11

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Argentina
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

*Video chat

*Plan yearly visits

*Plan for them to come visit you too, if that's a possibility for you

*Send them pictures, presents, flowers

:star:

Saludos,

Caro

Edited by JVKn'CVO

***Justin And Caro***
Happily married and enjoying our life together!

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Jeraly Mentor

Jeraly   4

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: England
 Timeline
Posted
I know I should be happy that I will be reunited with my baby in less than 2 months (if my interview goes well) but at the same time, I feel sad that I will be leaving my family behind especially my mother. :cry: I know I won't be able to come back any time to see her.........I wish Malaysia is not 26 hrs away from Charlotte....

I am sure many of you if not all, have gone through this "heart-breaking" feeling and I am just curious how you cope with this ????

Cheers... :mellow::cry:

If it's any consolation I feel exactly the same - I was so fired up when I decided to move and now I am excited but there is that feeling gnawing at me that I am going to miss so many things...

I know it is unlikely we will be able to afford to go home anytime soon but I know my mum is planning on visiting next Easter (I'm moving 30th June) so that will give me something to look forward to. I am so glad to have this place where I know people feel the same and I can get support from people who know what I am going through.

On another note - it's not something I have put into practice yet (obviously) but something I have been thinking about. I want to make sure that I am not trying to replace or replicate what I have here in England but I want to make things different and I want to enjoy them for being different if that makes sense. Trying to make things like they are here will be nigh on impossible and so I would prefer to turn things into a big adventure to enjoy and experience than set myself up for a fall :)

PM me if you need to chat - I feel (I am assuming as who ever knows how someone else feels?) just like you :)

(¯`v´¯).•*¨`*•?.•´*.¸.•´*

.`*.¸.*´ ~Timeline~

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10 Year GC Received 03/16/11 - Apply for Citizenship 01/28/12!

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Updating our story and website @ Jeraly.com!

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Join the VJ facebook group! • • • Live in Cali? Join the Brits in California facebook group!

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