Beijing's Exclusive Penis Restaurant

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

A Visit to Beijing's Exclusive ####### Restaurant

By Stephan Orth in Beijing

Whole yak ####### or sheep testicles on a bed of curry, anyone? A Beijing restaurant serves painstakingly decorated gourmet dishes for the fearless. They're supposed to increase male potency, but women should try a bite, too: Eating ####### is good for the skin, apparently.

"Here, try it," says Zhaoran, a business student, as she places a beige-colored ox urethra onto her friend's plate. He's in the middle of wolfing down a piece of chewy dog #######.

A visit to the Guolizhuang Restaurant in Beijing is not for the faint-hearted. Here the menu consists almost entirely of ####### and testicle dishes -- deer, snakes, yaks, horses, seals and ducks.

The platters have names like "The Essence of the Golden Buddha," "Phoenix Rising," "Jasmine Flowers with 1,000 Layers" and "Look for the Treasure in the Desert Sand." Are such flowery names meant to prevent guests from prematurely running off? After all, the "jasmine flowers" are made of layers of thinly sliced donkey #######, and the "treasure in the desert" is actually sheep gonads on a bed of curry.

"Chinese eat anything with four legs, except tables. And everything that flies, except airplanes," says Zhaoran, quoting a well-known Chinese saying. This may be true, but even in China a ####### restaurant is unusual. The Guolizhuang restaurant opened two years ago on the aptly-named Dongsishitiao Street. Word quickly spread among well-heeled Chinese, and today there are five franchises. The chain is even expanding outside of China -- into the Chinatown in Atlanta, Georgia.

Deer Blood as Viagra

Lucy, a 20-year-old waitress, wears a traditionally embroidered silk shawl with images of courtly scenes and plants -- and a smiley sticker. Part of her job is thoroughly explaining the menu, as many guests are entering into an entirely new culinary landscape when they visit the restaurant. "For thousands of years, Chinese medicine has used animal penises to cure kidney and erection problems," she says. But for their medicinal effect to work, the dishes have to be consumed regularly.

"But if you want something that works faster, we have a wine that contains extracts of heart, #######, and blood from a deer," she explains. "That has an effect within 30 minutes." This potency cocktail has been said to be better than Viagra, and it has no side effects.

Raw or roasted, whole or sliced, tip or base: the ####### binge is not meant for Chinese guests as a superficial test of courage, but rather as a serious treatment for the libido. "The sexual act of this Russian dog lasts 48 hours and its mating season is seven months out of the year," is how the colorful, photo-filled menu praises a €16 ($25) ####### dish.

There's a certain degree of care that goes into advising a selection for customers, and recommendations depend on when they're eating. The sex and age of the customer also play a role. "Women should not eat testicles," Lucy says. "The hormones could give them a deeper voice and a beard." Penises, on the other hand, are completely harmless, and in fact are even "good for the skin," she says.

Children under 15 are not allowed in the ####### restaurant; the hormones are said to interfere with natural growth. All the guests sit in booths, and most of them are older couples or all-male groups. "A lot of the customers are business people meeting with clients," Lucy says. "They order the most expensive meals -- their companies are paying."

Dog-####### Bone with A Cherry on Top

A waitress in pinstripe pants and a black jacket puts a pot of broth on an electric hotplate. Then Lucy carries out a glass plate with raw sexual parts from oxen and dogs, tastefully arranged on a bed of lettuce. A finger-long pointy bone protrudes out of a glass in the middle of the plate. There's a decorative cherry stuck on top. "Dogs are the only animals that have a ####### bone," Lucy explains to the guests, and then points out the little furrow on the side where the urethra is.

Ox penises are sliced along the side and bent into little stars. Lucy uses chopsticks to dip one into the hotpot of chicken broth, dates, and lychees. Then the meat is doused in soy- or hot sauce. The consistency and taste are a little like a bitter piece of calamari.

The second course, called "Henry's horsewhip," is much more delicate and sweet. It's sheep's ####### on a stick, covered in a sheath of mayonnaise and sweet cheese. It's called "Henry" because it's prepared in a Western style, Lucy says.

Some of the specialties are expensive: A yak ####### costs €179, while a hotpot with 10 different #######-and-testicle selections served on an attractive, four-sided plate tower with little statues of animals will set you back €89. For particularly discerning palates, the menu also offers deer and sheep fetuses (€36 and €9, respectively).

But this is only a small sampling of what restaurant manager Chen Jianguo says he has to offer. "For special guests there's a special menu," he says. Some connoisseurs say there are even penises from endangered species, like tigers. But to have a bite of that, you'll have to fill out a special application form for a silver, gold, or platinum membership card and pay up to €905.

At the end of the meal, Lucy hands over a little red box with ribbons on it. The dog ####### bone is inside. It's a souvenir, she says, and is supposed to bring luck and protect the holder against "harmful influences."

But what about the risks and side effects from the food itself? Is your pulse really going faster when you leave the restaurant, or is it just your imagination? And were those spots on your arm there before?

"I think my voice is slowly getting deeper," Zhaoran says.

Source

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

[Sister Fracas 5]

A Visit to Beijing's Exclusive ####### Restaurant

Penises, on the other hand, are completely harmless, and in fact are even "good for the skin," she says.

nup, not gonna say a word....

[almaty 19]

whoa, yak #######.............i bet there are long lines and hard to get reservations at that place..

[brnidokiegurl 0]

"Women should not eat testicles," Lucy says. "The hormones could give them a deeper voice and a beard." Penises, on the other hand, are completely harmless, and in fact are even "good for the skin," she says.

Darn and i was all set to go, well guess weigh the options good skin/deeper voice, beard/good skin oh decisions decisions....

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

That's damned bad....

I think "Henry's Horsewhip" would be hard to stomach at the best of times. "Western-style" isn't going to make it any less of a gag-fest.

Edited April 25, 2008 by Number 6

[Ban Hammer 13,669]

A Visit to Beijing's Exclusive ####### Restaurant

Penises, on the other hand, are completely harmless, and in fact are even "good for the skin," she says.

nup, not gonna say a word....

brings new meaning to the phrase "open wide"

[Amby 490]

I'd try it. I've ate a lot of weird things. Why not a #######? I've had one in my mouth before just never took a bite

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I'd try it. I've ate a lot of weird things. Why not a #######? I've had one in my mouth before just never took a bite

Have you seen that movie: The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and her lover?

The dinner scene...

[Amby 490]

no but now I guess I have to see it

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

no but now I guess I have to see it

That scene is very unpleasant. You can probably find it on youtube.

I'm reminded of this

[Amby 490]

[GaryC 7]

They do eat just about anything. I had to be real careful what I was served while I was there. Pig ####### was the worst thing I ate while there. I saw a travel mag on an airplane on one of my trips. A chef in a kitchen was holding a large snake. The caption read, "if the sun shines on it's back I will find a way to cook it". They were not kidding.

[SaadBell 0]

"A cook poses with a plate of yak ####### at the Guolizhuang ####### Restaurant in Beijing". Among the other delicacies: panda #######, shark #######, rat ####### (for people on a diet), as well as the rare yeti #######

Dinner's ready

[Mephys 2]

puke