I want your opinion people!!!!!

[Nutty 2]

You're not married, I take it.

Maybe it is easier for someone who has not married yet and shared a life with their spouse.

I am somewhat familiar with Indian with Indian customs because my home (heartfelt anyway) is Himachel Pradesh. I actually came back to USA to establish domicile just for immigration process.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

Darren wants to get his finances completely in order and have no debt before he moves. The process took much less time than we expected, so it will take a little while longer to get everything settled.

[Marilyn. 340]

i had been living with my parents for a few months already leading up to the day i got my visa so I booked my flight the next day and flew to the US about 4 days after I got my visa....

i also wasn't working so I didn't have that to worry about...

[onwa 6]

Married or single...2 months is nothing in the scheme of forever (we all hope). I don't know if you feel like he is rejecting you because he doesn't want to come right away, but I wouldn't think he is. It is a very normal thing to need to settle affairs and would free up his mind for a smoother transition into America--which can be downright horrific.

[tom&tata 2]

All I know is that anyone around here who has guilt tripped or persuaded their SO to come earlier than they would have liked has regretted it.

We talked about it. His family was talking about me not wanting to move here got to him a few times. It's not that I did not want to move, but I needed my time too - job commitment, family, everything. Otherwise, he would not hear the end of it everytime I felt homesick . THEN, he would have regretted it

But yes, my last job required 3 months for resignation.

[Donna A 4]

my husband got his visa and in days came here for a week to visit and then he had to return back and finish his contract from his job for 3 months. so it was something that couldnt be settled quickly. he had to sign a year contract cuz the visa wouldnt be ready for at least 6 months so he just finished out the contract.

[Nutty 2]

I think it all depends on where you are coming from, I guess.

If you were in my shoes..married. Only saw your husband for 2 weeks last year and not at all this year, then 2, 3, or 4 months of additional waiting can be "the straw that broke the camels back."

Edited April 24, 2008 by Nutty

[chri'stina 190]

I think it all depends on where you are coming from.

If you were in my shoes..married. Only saw your husband for 2 weeks last year and not at all this year, then 2, 3, or 4 months of additional waiting can be "the straw that broke the camels back."

How would you feel if you were in my shoes?

I'll be honest and say that more than 2 months would be hard after waiting for so long. I think 4 months would be torturous. I said give him 2 months even if he has nothing to settle, to be in his country etc. But I can see why you would not want to wait too long given your situation.

When Sujeet arrived we had been apart 11 months, and only had seen each other for 2 weeks when I went to India. So I know when he arrived it felt like forever since we saw each other. I would have been stressed waiting even more months. But if it had to happen, I couldn't do anything about it. But, I don't think you should let it be the last straw. Maybe your spouse is just realizing now he is leaving and feels like he needs more time than he thought he would. Maybe shortly he won't feel the same and will come sooner, after it sinks in.

[Aymerlu 3]

I'm sure it depends on the person. My husband was on the plane the next day! He was however getting things settled way before his visa was issued.

[tom&tata 2]

I think it all depends on where you are coming from, I guess.

If you were in my shoes..married. Only saw your husband for 2 weeks last year and not at all this year, then 2, 3, or 4 months of additional waiting can be "the straw that broke the camels back."

It was hard. We were married too. We saw each other more before we got married than after we got married because of the distance. During the 1 year & 3 months of the visa process (we went CR-1), we saw each other twice only - 2 weeks & 1 week.

That's why I went ahead & activate my visa and head back home. I do not know your situation, but it might work for you.

[Sister Fracas 5]

We were married on December 31st of 2003. I didn't see hubster except for 2 weeks at Christmas of 2004 and he didn't arrive here until June 30th of 2005. It was a long tough time and I just wanted him here already, but between his responsibilities and wanting to see everyone before he left, I just really had to accept the month it took for him to get here and realize that we'd be together forever.....except for the 4-8 weeks he spends in the UK every summer... LOL

[MarkNAshley 0]

I think it all depends on where you are coming from, I guess.

If you were in my shoes..married. Only saw your husband for 2 weeks last year and not at all this year, then 2, 3, or 4 months of additional waiting can be "the straw that broke the camels back."

Married or not, being apart sucks. But it is all unfortunately part of the process and there is a need to be understanding of your husbands needs at this time too. He is leaving his life in his home town life behind to start a life with you, that is not an easy situation!

[tammy2688 1]

I think giving him 6 weeks is more than enough. Seriously, when the wait is imposed and theres nothing to do about it, that's one thing. But deliberately waiting and being slow on settling things is another. 6 weeks is very fair. Yes, we have become sick mentally of waiting and to prolong it is not healthy.

I feel though, he will honor your feelings dear, and make it by mid May.

Sending my prayers,

Tammy

[tammy2688 1]

I'll agree that it depends as everyone else will. But what most people are not understanding is that Tina and her husband have been on AP for a very long time and comparatively, got a late interview date from filing. I understand this whole heartedly and will say again that 6 weeks is enough.

Tina - yes it is definately a good idea, you gave have several reasonable options.

First of all - this will give a good beginning to a new couple, few hundred$$ is nothing.

Second - Pricing it down is no harm, getting it done is the point.

Third - you even gave him the option of selling it at his desired price and have a family member look at it.

For you Tina, its been a hellish struggle and you even gave him very reasonable options amidst that.

I'm proud of you for keeping such composer.

See till Mid-May if he doesn't budge tell him bluntly you need him to come here. I know what it is like to be split from a husband, it is different when you spent husband wife days together then separated. It hurts. Bad.

By mid May he may have things done, that is what I hope for.

Tammy

[jundp 191]

If all goes well, P will be approved tomorrow and get his visa next week some time.

But he can't leave Germany until mid-July because he must finish his thesis and get his Diplom or there's no

point in immigrating...he can't get a decent job here without it and he's already put years into it so why leave

when he's this close? So he's got the thesis and three exams to finish. But he's booking the flight as soon as his visa is in hand and saying "it'll have to all get done, won't it?"

We've waited this long (2 years) I don't think it will kill me to wait another 2 1/2 months. He is giving up his country and leaving his family to come here after all.