Guys, I need a hug

[Married_my_love 0]

We researched moving to Canada before we researched moving to the States, so I know we'd have to be married first before he can come here, but he can live with me while we wait for his PR....which could take a LONG time, hence the need for me to have a good job because he can't work.

I've read of the people who have turned around and forgotten Canadian immigration, that sucks...just tells me it's probably more frustrating than moving to the U.S.

I'm only chiming in on the part I know about - please see my signature timeline!! If you do in fact decide to go with your promotion and he comes to Canada, PLEASE consider getting married and him applying while in NJ. It took us 90 days from start to finish out of Buffalo (I moved to Canada) and I was actually able to come over the border at 60 days and wait for my card (using my mom's california address as perm).

Only saying this so you will not consider the "inside Canada" route. I would not recommend that to anyone. I spent loads of time on US to Canada boards and the people who came in and waited were put last, and very, very frustrated.

I can totally relate to the confusion and changing of plans, etc. {{{ hug }}} We actually went thru immigration 3 times! CAN2US, US2CAN, CAN2US again.

(and I think we're still confused!)

[bluegreen 0]

Same here with the late advice - nothing to add except...when I was ready to come coming down here on a K1, it was kinda the same. I'd just bought my own (great) place, started a successful business, etc. It was a huge wrench for me. At the same time, we were looking at buying a house down here, hubby was contemplating a gigantic career move, and we were planning our big, elaborate family wedding. So many big decisions at once. So I called a HUGE time out. I decided to just come down for a few months, to test the waters, see if I liked it, and if everything felt right. That decision was hard enough.

But it did feel right and we ended up eloping.

In no way am I suggesting you do what I did, but it just helped to take one decision at a time. Now that I made a decision and am down here (and dealing with the fallout of just up and leaving with everything hanging!), it is easier to make more decisions. NOW we can think about a house, NOW hubby can think about a career change. NOW i feel good about planning a party with my family. I still mourn my house and business, but we can go back to those things - they aren't lost - just on hold.

You will find everything SO much easier after you make the first decision. And you are frustrated right now becasue you can't make any choices till you know what's available.

So! I hope you find out about the promotion soon!! Good luck! Even if you decide not t take it it will feel good if you get it. asnd you might be a little relieved if you don't. So you have three great options!

[Gypsyangel 11]

My heart goes out to you Laura! All this long distance stuff can be pretty stressful and it's hard to think straight because there are so many choices involved.

My suggestion is to give yourself some breathing space. You've come this far with U.S. immigration ... go to your interview and get approved. Then you have six months within which to move to the U.S. Or not. If your promotion is working out, maybe you can begin the Canadian immigration process. If the promotion isn't working out, then you can move. Also, the thing about promotions is that they can give them and they can take them away. It can be a lot of pressure to balance your whole life on a promotion.

Another thing to do ... maybe you call off the house hunting until you can get your breath and think straight because house stuff can become really stressful. This is already a very stressful process, and the house stuff adds another huge layer. There's always renting as an alternative to get you through periods of transition. Or just waiting a bit.

I know you want to be with your sweetie asap ... I'm know you guys will find a way that supports you both!

Deep breaths! Ohm!

PS. I'm moving to Jersey too! South Jersey, near Philly. I NJ, except for all the driving (and aggressive drivers!) and the weird malls. And now I know why NJ women have a reputation for big hair. It's the humidity! Whew!

[Krikit 1,164]

I NJ, except for all the driving (and aggressive drivers!) and the weird malls. And now I know why NJ women have a reputation for big hair. It's the humidity! Whew!

Weird malls? lol

[jundp 191]

Ah, Laura, good luck.

It's late in the thread for me to give you any advice that hasn't already been given. But just remember that the two of you are in this together so you need to make a joint decision. And just because you started the K1 doesn't mean you are bound to that if you change your mind and think moving to Canada is better for the two of you.

Just breathe, sweetie!

[melusine 5]

Damn i'm late to answer !

Ok.... breath, relax and laugh ! the situation is FAR from beeing dramatic... you have to choose between a good situation and another good one....(there is worst in life, you need to admit)

Now.... i will follow some idea that had been said here... (also i went through canadian immigration (as a french but that's another story))

My advice :

Finish the US immigration process and go there, join him, be happy, start a family (?) etc.... Laura, a job (even a great one) is a job and it's not unreplaceable (eww...that word look to strange to be correct but anyway) and cool opportunities are just everywhere.... a job is just a job... it's not what is the most important in life.

Join together, work there, get responsibilities there etc....

Now as for moving back to Canada (one day), first wait for your citizenship to kick in then you will be just totally free to go wherever you want and in between get the immigration going for your sweet (it's still about a year of waiting and 2k anyway). Then in a few years.... you should be all great to do what feels right at that time.... no rush.

Relax... and just be happy ! (and if u get that job.. well, that means more $ to pay for the adjustment of status, the move or whatever you might need...not bad either huh ?)

Damn... i almost forgot the most important.... GIANT HUG !!!!!!!!!

Edited April 24, 2008 by melusine

[Flames9_RN 358]

Two Words------ TIM HORTONS!! lol Of course ur in Ontario, and that means one has to cheer for the Leafs. In the New jersey Area, one actually has a lot of teams one can root for!!

Seriously, its a hard decision, and one just has to sit down and write out the plus's and negatives for each scenario!

[CBR 0]

Aww, I'm really late too. I think you have already gotten the most excellent advice. I would say keep going on the road you're on until you know what happens with the promotion. Think about what your alternatives so you have a plan in place either way. You certainly don't want to stop the US immigration when you've gotten this far!! I also agree that a job is a job and you should really base your decision on where you guys prefer to live. If you both would rather live in Canada and were only coming to the US because of jobs then you can decide that when/if the promotion goes through. I really do feel for you! That's a huge difficult decision to make. I also agree on not pursuing a home purchase especially if they're borderline unaffordable. That's just stress you guys do NOT need right now. It also complicates everything cuz then if you decide to move to Canada it has to be sold in this crappy market.

I wish you the best and you will make the right decision for both of you. It sounds like you both love each other so much that you'll both be supportive of each other no matter what decision is made.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

So much great advice, not all of it to do with public urination, and so many posts ahead of me, I am rather late but I'll add a few palliative cliches just to be polite. The NJ home market has always been crazy and you have the potential for a great job in the GTA. It's not an easy decision. Nick is willing to make a big sacrifice but the question is will Nick's foregoing of a NJ lifestyle come back to poison the relationship (sorry I'm doing my best to Channel Dr. Phil ). Your job prospects are great but is that the employment opportunity of a lifetime or will you get another job that will be equally fulfilling? This is not an easy situation but I think I'd go with the advice already given and wait and see what happens. You might enjoy NJ, they're always looking for folks to work in the local chemical plant. If none of that works out, chuck it all and go to law school. In Florida. Whatever decision you make will be the right one.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

....another late comer....

I agree with the people who commented on waiting to see IF you get the promotion. I know you're looking to get it, but you'll be kicking yourself later for stressing so much if you don't.

Look at positive things right now....you have a great man who loves ya & wants to be with you

Not to mention you're taking steps to be together with him, which seems to be going very well right now.

Things will work out.

[simple_male 1]

Good luck to you! Getting promotion is great!

[Karaoke 0]

I would not think about it TWICE if my spouse was Canadian, I would have been in Canada a LOOONG time ago!

I myself, I'd pick Canada over the US ANY DAY... but hey, the US is not bad... Just, Canada is better! I mean, you have Montreal and Vancouver, you have hockey, you have the moose, you have Michael Buble I mean what do you need more?? ;-)

You speak the same language, you are so close to each other, Canada or the US, is almost the same, with all due respect. Both great places, great people, lands of opportunities and of immigration. Either way, you can't go wrong. Talk it over with your partner and choose what you both think is best for your family! Where is not as important as with whom!

If you eventually get fed up with Canada, we can always exchange visas, if I ever make it through VSC!

Success and good luck!

I'm SO stressed people, you have no idea!!!

First...

I'm up for a promotion at work. It's between me and two other co-workers. I had my interview for it last week and the admin manager was suppose to make her decision on the weekend. Well that came and went, nothing. Then Monday, nothing again. It's Thursday, I won't be going in until 2pm but I guarantee I'll hear NOTHING.

Why does this matter?

Because if I get this promotion (which I think I have a very good chance of getting) I don't know if I'll be moving to the U.S.

The whole reason I was going down there is because I was only part time and I didn't make enough money to support both Nick and I while he waited for PR. With this job, I would be able to and Nick coming to Canada would be possible.

My medical is fast approaching, still don't know my interview date but I'm sure I'll know soon.

Nick is looking at homes in NJ. They are SO expensive and crazy. We've found some we really like that are just over our price range and we could make it work. He's going to view one tonight. So, my life in NJ is forming too....

It's like I'm stuck between both places, completely on hold, not knowing where or what is happening.

I'm so stressed, I can't even believe I got my period right on time this month (Sorry boys) LOL but it's true....

What would you do? Canada is so....sigh...it's Canada. I love it here, so does Nick. The health care, the everything....NJ isn't horrible but if we had the chance to live in Canada, we totally would.

At the same time, I feel that Nick may be a little apprehensive to living here even though he loves it. All his friends are down there (I don't really have that many friends here, in fact, I have only acquaintances) So it's like....GRR! I don't know what to do!!!

Help, I need encouragement and support.

[Mephys 2]

Well I beat you all on being late !!!!!!!!!

Laura! ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

All that needed to be said has been said. But I must admit I like the part : Move to US, get together, become USC, and few years down the road you can come back to Canada and be free to come back whenever when needed between both countries.

But you have to follow your heart on that one too!

[jundp 191]

you have the moose

Quite possibly my favorite quote ever on VJ. Even better than the time Charles told me I was right about something.

[erintoronto 0]

gosh, i'm late to this, too. there isn't anything i can say that hasn't been mentioned already but i wanted you to know that i am positive it will all work out for you. just breathe deep and be good to yourself. oh - and as far as the promotion goes, you've got this far and you can do it again! i'm sure of it!

keep us posted