Not the man I thought he was...

[jannaxhitti 0]

Hello all. I'm writing once again for some advice and hope that someone can help me out. After 8 months of being separated and waiting for his visa, after going to the interview and passing everything with flying colors, after arriving here in the US and finally being together... I found out that the man I was engaged to was a stranger.

Once here, half the time he was the man I remember; and the other half, he was controlling and manipulative. He also used my computer daily while I was at work to download VERY inappropriate things and to also seek out other women in Minneapolis.

I am broken-hearted... we (or maybe was it just I?) worked so hard throughout this visa process to ensure that everything would work out with the paperwork, the embassy, etc... and of course sometimes relationships don't work out, but this is all just too much. I discovered all of these things on Saturday and he was on a plane tonight, by my choice and his as well. (He still won't admit he did these things although the evidence is all on my computer... he says I've made it all up and that I'm a terrible person for being so judgmental.)

I am wondering--- I know with the I-134, I signed saying that I have all financial responsibility for him. Is that only when he is in the US?? Now that he's on his way back to Europe, am I okay or still liable? Am I safe to just let this visa expire, knowing that he can't re-enter the US? What are the necessary precautions I need to take??

I can't believe this is all happening. Please, someone, say something.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

I'm not sure what advice I can give you, but I am terribly sorry this happened to you...you are in my thoughts and prayers!

[Carol and Bruno 0]

I am wondering--- I know with the I-134, I signed saying that I have all financial responsibility for him. Is that only when he is in the US?? Now that he's on his way back to Europe, am I okay or still liable? Am I safe to just let this visa expire, knowing that he can't re-enter the US? What are the necessary precautions I need to take??

I can't believe this is all happening. Please, someone, say something.

I too am sorry you had to go through this. I know you won't find any comfort in this, but it's best you found out now than after your wedding.

As far as the financial responsibility goes: I don't know for sure, but I can only assume that you would be responsible for him here in the states. Our country only cares if he were to become a burden on the system here and probably couldn't care less what he does in his home country. I believe you're financial responsibility has ended, but you should contact immigration to inform them of your situation just to make it official.

Maybe someone else here has better advice for you.

[Mononoke28 135]

Janna,

I'm really sorry things didn't work out with your and your fiancée but be glad that you discovered the real person he is now and not years down the line.

As far as the visa process goes, you are only financially responsible for him while he is in the States. Since he left already, your responsibility has come to an end. Also, he won't be able to come back to the States since he already used his K1 visa to enter the US, it's not a multiple entry visa, so you'll be ok.

Diana

[*JG* 2]

Yes, I agree. He cannot come back in on that K-1. And, your responsibility was only here in the states. You are good.

One word of caution, don't let him snow you now with sweet words LD. I know someone who's fiance did the exact same thing, only they married right before he went back, without AOS. She is now filing a K-3 to get him back here. IMO, it's not a good idea.

I am sorry sorry. Please take care of you.

[sara..... 371]

i am very sorry this happened to u.........i dont know much about the support issue but i think that ur only responsible when he is in the states.......i will add u to my prayers.........

[pushbrk 12,883]

Once he's gone, he's gone. K1 is good for one entry to the US only.

I-134 is not binding on the US Citizen, so has no impact now whatsoever. As far as US Government is concerned, you are completely rid of him.

Don't let any of this add to your worries as you pick up the rest of your life and move on.

[albkos 1]

Hello all. I'm writing once again for some advice and hope that someone can help me out. After 8 months of being separated and waiting for his visa, after going to the interview and passing everything with flying colors, after arriving here in the US and finally being together... I found out that the man I was engaged to was a stranger.

Once here, half the time he was the man I remember; and the other half, he was controlling and manipulative. He also used my computer daily while I was at work to download VERY inappropriate things and to also seek out other women in Minneapolis.

I am broken-hearted... we (or maybe was it just I?) worked so hard throughout this visa process to ensure that everything would work out with the paperwork, the embassy, etc... and of course sometimes relationships don't work out, but this is all just too much. I discovered all of these things on Saturday and he was on a plane tonight, by my choice and his as well. (He still won't admit he did these things although the evidence is all on my computer... he says I've made it all up and that I'm a terrible person for being so judgmental.)

I am wondering--- I know with the I-134, I signed saying that I have all financial responsibility for him. Is that only when he is in the US?? Now that he's on his way back to Europe, am I okay or still liable? Am I safe to just let this visa expire, knowing that he can't re-enter the US? What are the necessary precautions I need to take??

I can't believe this is all happening. Please, someone, say something.

I would notify USCIS. Are you sure he got on the flight? Where was his stopover? I am sure he did not have a direct flight to his country. He could have gotten off the plane in New York or somewhere, which he has every right to do. He might still be here. So I would notify even though the visa will expire he might decide to stay and you will be responsible I believe to some point. How was he controlling and manipulative?

Well at least you woke up early and realized what he is all about. I give you alot of credit for standing up and making a decision on all of this. I know it is difficult and heartbreaking to have gone through all of this and have it turn out this way. But on the other hand things happen that are out of our control and we just have to pick up and move on...

Keep in touch

[Nutty 2]

Some advice:

Dear Janna:

I am sorry about your situation. It is not your fault this happened. Many people are fooled by men/women who perpatrate marriage visa fraud. The worst case scenerio was he was using you for a visa, the best case scenario was that this man would have been manipulitive, controlling, filandering, downloading porn and making your life hell.

It is good you were able to get him out of the country on the fiance visa. Let the fiance visa expire. The affidvit of support is only in effect if your fiance had stayed in the USA.

Follow your gut instincts in this situation....

I know you're sad now, but count your blessings you found out now instead of after getting married.

Best wishes, Tina

Hello all. I'm writing once again for some advice and hope that someone can help me out. After 8 months of being separated and waiting for his visa, after going to the interview and passing everything with flying colors, after arriving here in the US and finally being together... I found out that the man I was engaged to was a stranger.

Once here, half the time he was the man I remember; and the other half, he was controlling and manipulative. He also used my computer daily while I was at work to download VERY inappropriate things and to also seek out other women in Minneapolis.

I am broken-hearted... we (or maybe was it just I?) worked so hard throughout this visa process to ensure that everything would work out with the paperwork, the embassy, etc... and of course sometimes relationships don't work out, but this is all just too much. I discovered all of these things on Saturday and he was on a plane tonight, by my choice and his as well. (He still won't admit he did these things although the evidence is all on my computer... he says I've made it all up and that I'm a terrible person for being so judgmental.)

I am wondering--- I know with the I-134, I signed saying that I have all financial responsibility for him. Is that only when he is in the US?? Now that he's on his way back to Europe, am I okay or still liable? Am I safe to just let this visa expire, knowing that he can't re-enter the US? What are the necessary precautions I need to take??

I can't believe this is all happening. Please, someone, say something.

[macutelit 0]

I am sorry to hear that, but at least you discovered who really or what kind of person he is I hope everything will be okay...

[jannaxhitti 0]

I would notify USCIS. Are you sure he got on the flight? Where was his stopover? I am sure he did not have a direct flight to his country. He could have gotten off the plane in New York or somewhere, which he has every right to do. He might still be here. So I would notify even though the visa will expire he might decide to stay and you will be responsible I believe to some point.

Yes, I am sure he got on the plane. I was not going to just leave him at the airport and let him walk. I requested a gate pass from the airline, went through security with him and watched him board. Also, the flight was Minneapolis to Amsterdam direct, so he couldn't have gotten off anywhere.

So he's gone... it's all over. This thing I worked so hard for and dedicated myself to has ended. I am lost and devastated. But I should not think like that, what I could have done differently, etc. This is the man he is, and nothing could change that. I just need to breathe and move forward. This, too, shall pass.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your support. It means the world to me.

[ya falaha! 0]

Oh my! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You did good. So many women would've ignored these things. You're a strong woman.

[Krikit 1,164]

Good for you. You deserve a big hug. Now treat yourself to something special. A day at the spa. A nice massage. Some new shoes. You've probably saved yourself from some real grief. Congratulations.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

oh, I'm so sorry; what a horrible thing to have to go through after all your waiting and hoping and planning

others here are right... you've saved yourself a load of trouble by recognising straight away that this would never have been a good situation for you... major kudos to you for taking action and dealing with it! I'm sure you don't feel great about it, but you hopefully will, in time

I wish you all the very best

[rebeccajo 14]

Am I reading correctly that your fiance just arrived April 12?