Timeline for K-1 marriage and divorce rate

[KitEEgirl 0]

I couldn't agree more. They have already controlled our lives during our dating and the k1 process itself. Now they are controlling our wedding date too. I have no doubt that I want to marry my fiance, but some more time to plan a wedding etc, would be nice. One could argue, you have 6 months to enter on the VISA, do the planning then...but I don't think the wedding planning should be one-sided. We are making do with the 3 month constraint, but we had to pick our date based on location availability in a particular time range. We really didn't have much say so in it! It was like we had to take the available date in the given USCIS time range.

I believe you should have up to one year. But it goes beyond divorce rate improvement. One complaint I have, is 90 days is not enough time if you desire to marry in a particular season or on a meaningful date. I think it sucks that if my fiancée arrives in the autumn we have no way to marry in the spring or summer when it's warm! I find it unacceptable that the USCIS is virtually deciding our wedding dates.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I believe you should have up to one year. But it goes beyond divorce rate improvement. One complaint I have, is 90 days is not enough time if you desire to marry in a particular season or on a meaningful date. I think it sucks that if my fiancée arrives in the autumn we have no way to marry in the spring or summer when it's warm! I find it unacceptable that the USCIS is virtually deciding our wedding dates.

Eh, there is a six-month window in which the K-1 holder can arrive in the US--which probably addresses your complaint.

But you still have to be apart for those six months. As greeneyedgirlfl says:

The 6 months + 3 months is fine if you're willing to be apart from your SO for a longer period of time...if you're not, you're stuck with the time frame that USCIS gives you...

I would like to have the option of six months in the US...I wouldn't have to go through 2 weddings (a little redundant, IMHO, but such is life...)!

Fortunately my parents and friends are fairly flexible and as long as my wedding falls on a school holiday they can attend, so I'm not having to go through two weddings. But other people are and I think six months in the US would give more time to plan the wedding and adjust to living in a strange country. Doesn't mean, of course, that other couples can't get married as soon as they'd like, too!

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I think 3 months is long enough. I married my husband three months after arrival in Germany and they don`t even have finance visas that I am aware of. Two of those months I spent living in another German state away from him, so wasn`t like I even saw him every day, more like every other weekend. I think it is all sink or swim, IMO. We will be married 4 years in August.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Your poll pre-supposes that the 3 month time limitation is a get-to-know-you period. It is not. The time between meeting and committing to an engagement is. When you become engaged you are saying "I am willing to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you." When you come to the US on a K-1 visa you are sealing the deal..... not giving it a trial run.

Amen to that Sister Krikit!

And double amen...

As for getting married on a specific date, who says you can't. Who says you can't have a quick civil ceremony and then plan for the wedding of your dreams, in or out of a snow storm? This is an immigration process, you gotta deal with the hand you are given. Nothing about our situations is ideal, so make the best of it. Hubster didn't come on a K-1, but we had a civil ceremony so we could get the I-130 paperwork rolling and that gave us the time to plan the full-blown wedding we wanted.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Well, some people feel that that day you get married is the day you should celebrate your wedding, and that it's not proper to have a separate ceremony. I know I asked my parents if it would be okay to sign the papers soon after entering the US and then have a celebration at a later date, as they insisted on celebrating, and they said that they would feel very uncomfortable with that; that it would be deceiving the guests (even if they know) and that it would also be pointless. So I shall be delaying my entry into the US so that I may enter closer to a wedding date that is accommodating to our guests.

So I guess it depends on how flexible your family and friends are, what their opinions on weddings are, and whether or not you'd like to listen to them. Sometimes it's easier to compromise and keep the peace.

[Zee Bee 61]

I think that people need to think long and hard before deciding if they are ready to live in another country. Its not a decision that should be made on a whim or "because we are in love". There are very real challenges out there that even love cannot overcome.

That being said, I think that for a lot of people they may use the 90 days as an adjusting period to see if the foreign SO will be OK living here. There are a lot of us that have fiance's that have never been to the US and will naturally use the time to figure out the adjustment. I also think that the 90 days is a good amount of time for the couple to plan the wedding that they want and make plans for family, friends to attend.

In the same breath, I wholly disagree with is being a "getting to know you" period. #######? You are supposed to be marrying this person so I would hope that you would know them. Adjustiong to America is different than adjusting to your SO. Using the visa to bring your boyfriend or girlfriend over to see "if we can stand living together" (1) defeats the purpose of the visa and (2) clogs up the system for those of us who want to get married.

Very well said Krikit! That's why VWPs were invented..a three month opportunity to grasp whether you can live with your fiance or not! Marriage is a life long commitment end of.

Only a handful of countries have VWP. My fiance has better chances of being hit by lightening on a bright sunny day than getting a tourist visa to the US.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

In the same breath, I wholly disagree with is being a "getting to know you" period. #######? You are supposed to be marrying this person so I would hope that you would know them.

I mostly agree with that and that is basically why I believe 90 days is enough to get married.

However, to some extent, I feel we were fairly fortunate. Both of us have the same cleaning habits, agree about money, live well together. Those are the sink or swim mundane elements that are hard to figure out from just chat and random visits alone. Some people love each other but just can't live together.

I adapted very fast to life in Germany and my husband to life here. However, I understand people may have trouble adjusting. Hard to know that either until you are actually here. Still, 90 days is enough to know that.