MENA married to Americans...

[S and S 12]

One issue myself and my husband discuss often is swimming. You know in America that women wear practically nothing to swim. When I was Christian I tried to be careful, but it was nothing compared to what my husband expects of me and now that I am muslim. You see, swimming is in my blood, and much of my father's side of the family are natural born swimmers who competed. I haven't gone swimming since I converted to Islam, mostly lack of opportunity, but it is a huge issue. My husband says if I go swimming then I must have my body covered as in arms, shoulders, back, stomach, legs, etc. Of course this is limiting and will draw a lot of attention at the pool so it makes me not want to swim at all. We have discussed some ideas like finding a place that has women only swimming times or eventually getting a small, above ground pool for our backyard some day where I will have more privacy. It is a huge thing to give up though. Even then, I don't give it up as much for him as I do for religious reasons. I knew some things were going to be hard if I converted and I do my best to accept the good with the bad.

i will look for the site tonight but there is a site that caters to muslim womens swim wear.......they really look pretty nice to tell u the truth.....we swim at home in one of those mmm lol cheap target or walmart pools sure is not as good but gets the heat off lol

Thankyou, I would appreciate the help! Also, cheap small pool is better than no pool, you are absolutely right.

Edited April 21, 2008 by S and S

[sandinista! 1,816]

Has anyone had to deal with having a child from a previous relationship, then entering in to a relationship with a Mena???

yeah, though he wouldn't categorize it as "having to deal with" it, but rather, having the pleasure of.

[sereia 0]

I think a lot of the MENA girls on VJ have children from previous marriages. Either having the pleasure of OR having to deal with it!

[nana_356 0]

Has anyone had to deal with having a child from a previous relationship, then entering in to a relationship with a Mena???

yeah, though he wouldn't categorize it as "having to deal with" it, but rather, having the pleasure of.

I am sorry I truly didnt mean it like that

i hope no offense is taken

[Rocketta 0]

Absolutely! Its very exciting and wonderful to have your spouse finally here! I'm glad you are clear on what you are willing/not willing to accept. Buttttttttt... what will happen if he changes his mind? Are you going to just throw him back on a plane if he doesn't like your pet, your male friends, or (insert thing here)? Trust me, its not that easy. I had things I was crystal freaking clear on. But once he got here and things changed...its not so easy to say you still demand something and they demand the opposite. Then what?

I won't throw him out over the cat but I wouldn't get rid of my cat either. I would just give him the choice to live with a cat or not. I wouldn't force him to do something he wouldn't want to do. Hopefully, my husband will get refuge status therefore his ability to stay will not depend on me. No pressure on either of us. There are many things I will compromise on and he knows that and he's the same but he also understands there are some things that are non-negotiable. We've discussed them. When I was there he tried me a couple of times though he could ge3t me to change my mind but that's not easy trust me.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Has anyone had to deal with having a child from a previous relationship, then entering in to a relationship with a Mena???

yeah, though he wouldn't categorize it as "having to deal with" it, but rather, having the pleasure of.

I am sorry I truly didnt mean it like that

i hope no offense is taken

i didn't take it personally like that, no worries.

[S and S 12]

Absolutely! Its very exciting and wonderful to have your spouse finally here! I'm glad you are clear on what you are willing/not willing to accept. Buttttttttt... what will happen if he changes his mind? Are you going to just throw him back on a plane if he doesn't like your pet, your male friends, or (insert thing here)? Trust me, its not that easy. I had things I was crystal freaking clear on. But once he got here and things changed...its not so easy to say you still demand something and they demand the opposite. Then what?

I won't throw him out over the cat but I wouldn't get rid of my cat either. I would just give him the choice to live with a cat or not. I wouldn't force him to do something he wouldn't want to do. Hopefully, my husband will get refuge status therefore his ability to stay will not depend on me. No pressure on either of us. There are many things I will compromise on and he knows that and he's the same but he also understands there are some things that are non-negotiable. We've discussed them. When I was there he tried me a couple of times though he could ge3t me to change my mind but that's not easy trust me.

I am glad things are moving forward on my husband's refugee status since it will make him less dependent on me. They will even help him find work! Yet at least I know he will be with me for me and for nothing else though I have never doubted him in the least. Mostly I like that he is coming on refugee so no one else can say he married me for the visa. I get so sick of that question. They don't even know him, they just assume.

[Rocketta 0]

I am glad things are moving forward on my husband's refugee status since it will make him less dependent on me. They will even help him find work! Yet at least I know he will be with me for me and for nothing else though I have never doubted him in the least. Mostly I like that he is coming on refugee so no one else can say he married me for the visa. I get so sick of that question. They don't even know him, they just assume.

Yes I agree, I'm tired of my family thinking he is only with me for a visa. Plus I think it will do a lot for his self-esteem to know he is in the country on his own and is not beholden to anyone. I will probably always make more than him so it's a lot for a guy's ego to take.