Going back home

[Arkayel 1]

Thank you!

I think you are right. Plus it's hard to decide who is right if you hear only one side of the story. But somehow he is not here and not asking for help to solve this problem. He is not actually makingany researches about it. what can it mean? People who really care do at least something, right? Once I made him go to the lawyer with me to find out my real situation, and even after that he didn't move.

Well, I gess I wanted to be fooled and blind. My desire was to help and I hve now what I have and I can't change anything:)

You are Welcome Tashyta,

I know this is hard, but you need to concentrate on yourself and take what you can learn from this. I hope you do not grow too hard a shell to protect your heart. After all, to have a good relationship you need to risk your heart to be able to build trust. There is no shame in letting yourself become vulnerable and caring for someone else. The only thing you need to do is to learn more about what type of person you wish to spend your life with, and try again when you feel ready.

You sound like a caring, loyal person, and I believe you can find the person who cares for you just as much with some patience and time. Our experiences help us to improve in the future if we can learn from them! Try not to be bitter, and look to the future!

Best Wishes.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I'm sorry for the harsh comment Tashyta, I really bit the hook when the 'problems because of being deployed in Iraq, who cares?' was said. I shouldn't have thrown you into the mix, but I was really angry as Arkayal really has no idea what it's like to live with PTSD following war.

At the end of the day, only you can make the decision of what is best for you.

By the sounds of it, you've done your best ... and at the end of the day, that's all that counts.

I'm sorry again for saying what I did .... your life has been very hard (and I do understand that part), and hopefully one day he'll get some help and put you guys back on track.

Goodluck Tashyta

PTSD or being abused as a child or anything that has affected your life is never going to get better unless that person whats to change and even then it is very hard.

My ex wife was abused emotionally as a child. After we were married her true self came out. We were married for 8 years and I put up with hell but I was very patient and bent over backwarss to make her happy but could never make her happy. She went to councelling the entire time but never got better. After all that time I told her she had destroyed any feelings I ever had for her so she walked out and filed for divorce. It took me 8 years to get over the destruction she caused me before I wanted to meet anyone again. We had children so until they are all 18 I have to put up with her.

Bottom line is he has proven he isn't committed to helping the relationship so the PTSD is his problem, not yours. Don't let him destroy your life too. He will detroy who you are if you continue with this type of relationship. Go back home, heal and get on with your life. If he really loves you he will fight to get you back, if not then it is not worth it. You have done more than enough for him, move on with your life and someday you may find a man that will make you happy and treat you like you deserve.

[tashyta 0]

Thank you all for your support! You can't imagine how important it is to me! Of course from time to time I get wave of doubts about my decision but everyday I'm persuaded more and more that my decision is the right one. I do need to get out of this kind of life. All this time I was working against myself by doing everything what he needed and he wanted to do. And he in his turn did the least out of what he could do. But it's O.K. I'm now more experienced than I was one or two years ago. No matter what I still want to live and enjoy life fully.

Thank you all again, you are absolutely great!!! I love you all and I wish you all good luck! Maybe some day I'll be here again

[zqt3344 21]

Privet, Leave the man, you are being used, and you have gave up more than enough and done more than enough. Sorry you got lied to about the 90 day K1 marriage period, and all the numerous excuses, that is not right, he should have made up his mind then and let you go home without problems. Right now you have no life or future and are being used, sounds like you were very serious and had truly loving honest feelings for the man and for whatever reasons he could not see it or appreciate it. Hopefully you will not be barred from coming back to the USA in the future if you go back home to Ukraine and by chance meet another American man to get married to in the future. You have gone above and beyond and done more than enough for this man, sadly he cannot see it or realize it, best to move on with your life and go home.

Poka, God Bless you.

Thank you all for your support! You can't imagine how important it is to me! Of course from time to time I get wave of doubts about my decision but everyday I'm persuaded more and more that my decision is the right one. I do need to get out of this kind of life. All this time I was working against myself by doing everything what he needed and he wanted to do. And he in his turn did the least out of what he could do. But it's O.K. I'm now more experienced than I was one or two years ago. No matter what I still want to live and enjoy life fully.

Thank you all again, you are absolutely great!!! I love you all and I wish you all good luck! Maybe some day I'll be here again