opinion .Do you think it helps or hurts Mena girls when we post our drama on here about our relationships with our men?

[abdo 0]

I don't post my business concerning my relationship, so I didn't vote.

[ya falaha! 0]

Even if you don't post your business you can still vote. The question is...do you get anything out of the advice given on the mena board. Actually it's two questions but the actual poll is do you get anything out of the advice given.

[abdo 0]

Even if you don't post your business you can still vote. The question is...do you get anything out of the advice given on the mena board. Actually it's two questions but the actual poll is do you get anything out of the advice given.

the question/topic is : Do you think it helps or hurts Mena girls when we post our drama on here about our relationships with our men?

my answer is :I don't post my business concerning my relationship, so I didn't vote.

but i am happy that MENA helps members on here like it did with me

[chri'stina 190]

I personally wouldn't air out my dirty laundry here concerning issues between me and my husband if they came up. (I know, he's not from MENA but I'm still posting). Reading those kinds of threads doesn't help me at all, but maybe because I am in a different situation. Though hubby is from a very different place. I just don't get anything out of the threads.

The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum.

Edited April 19, 2008 by stina&suj

[brnidokiegurl 0]

The instructions for interviews, etc is very helpful and gotten alot of people thru this, being there when someone is sad, is always good (if everyone doesnt analyze the prob to death they are having) but no matter if you tell your story in details there will always be someone doesnt agree, everyone sees things differently for their lifes and opinions vary. So maybe the help is to the poster who tells their story and problems sometimes just this talking helps to clear their minds and they work thru their own problems,

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

Sometimes it is good to have help from other people.Then this past friday after what has happend with us on visa journey we would never again. I have been told Mohamed married me for only 1 thing ! Im sick of this .I know he loves me and wants to be married to me. I just cant believe the way people think thats suppose to be a muslim.

I wont post anything again I cant believe there is a web-site like this to put people down so much.!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Sometimes it is good to have help from other people.Then this past friday after what has happend with us on visa journey we would never again. I have been told Mohamed married me for only 1 thing ! Im sick of this .I know he loves me and wants to be married to me. I just cant believe the way people think thats suppose to be a muslim.

I wont post anything again I cant believe there is a web-site like this to put people down so much.!

Personally, I don't believe that Mohamed married you for just one thing. My admonishions to him have been that his impatience to bed you should not have lead him to convincing you to enter a less than honorable agreement, then to braodcast that this is halal in Islam so that Muslim practice becomes a part of the act. I put the onus on him becasue he has been Muslim all of his life, and you are just learning.

However, I do not doubt his love for you and your son at all. I do question how his priorities that lead him to place secular law over sharia, jeopardizing your rights, and his hypocrisy in response to interfaith marriage for Muslimas in light of his expressed reverence for fiqh. That has been the focus of my responses, not his feelings for you, which seem to be genuine.

[I love Ashraf 0]

For some ppl this is the only place they can come and talk because they do not have any other support group.I did not post personal sstuff about my relationship because it went from great to shaky to over so fast(after almost 2 years) I did not know what hit me. I was wrecked and out of it for a few months. Getting advice from anyone is about flittering it is like a salad bar you put on your plate what want and leave what you don't. If advice is sincere and well-meaning then it is always welcomed.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I think there is a point missing here.

There are people here that anonymously discuss thier relationships, which is fine by me. However, if you are going to post pictures of yourself and your family, disclose your location, names, and other personal information thats when you become a target.

This has been a discussion for a long time in VJ and it will always continue to be. People will continue to post the most personal details of their lives and others will target them for it.

Does it help or hurt your relationship? That's a question for your Spouse to answer.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

[♥JP♥ 5]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I for one do think it helps. I think it helps in many ways.

I think that there are some really weird people on here though that pretend to be petitioning and also people on here who are no longer active in the process that make it hard on the rest of us.

I for the life of me do not know why someone would pretend to be going through this process when they are not or why people who are no longer married would be on here... It seems strange

[panamania79 2]

Well we finally after 3 airline ticket changes found a ticket that works with his transit visa and its not as long out.

Do you benefit from people being honest about their relationships with their mena husbands?

I fight with mine alot and I dont have the harmonious make up sessions some others do.I stay pissed (sometimes with really good reason)

I think I get pissed when people say all kind of scary stuff get everyone in mena all riled up then dont take any advice then come back and say the things never happened. I personally took alot of the advice Amal and other people had to give. Especially jpaula. But I am not going to sugar coat it.I have been pissed as hell at my husband for delaying 2 months getting her to see his mom although its understandable and he needs the visit.

I get pissed at him because of misunderstandings.Im glad I can come here and talk about stuff...

I get some extra entertainment.

[Jenn! 918]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I'm sorry but I still just can't wrap my head around why you insist on coming to the MENA forum to berate the women for whatever they choose to disclose about their lives. What the fukc are you doing? So I choose to disclose a bit less and others choose to disclose a bit more. Are you really so insecure that you need to do this in order to feel more secure about your own marriage. What is your purpose here? Are you really who you claim to be?

ETA: Pardon my outburst, but I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of people who seem to come on VJ only to try to rub others noses in something. What is the GD point?

Edited May 22, 2008 by Jenn!