CSC Wake up!!

[aravis227 1]

So...since CSC seems to have shut down the last couple of weeks I'm going crazy! I need a laugh...so let's throw out our craziest, wildest theories as to why CSC is so quiet.

Here's mine:

Their air conditioner went on the fritz, but they're not allowed to leave. So they're all huddled up in a corner of the building trying to stay warm. In addition, it's so cold that a layer of ice has formed around the boxes of petitions, so they haven't been able to touch them. Or, it could be The Pax, the G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate, so everyone is just really, really tired and they've stopped moving (you get super extra double points if you catch that reference to one of my favorite sci-fi series, ever).

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

they're probably practicing vacation.

[serdar 0]

well my friend what to say about this CSC because there is nothing to say about them ..just shame on them when you see VSC filers they already have theirs even february and we are still waiting from december and even october and november ..what can you say?I am so depressed just because of this CSC just because they do not wanna move I have to wait to be with my family (I have twince babgirl and boy who are 4 months already) so long ..((

[aravis227 1]

Another theory on why they seem to have stopped: It only appears that they've stopped. They've actually replaced their workers with skilled orangutans while they have an extended Caribbean company picnic, and good orangutan help is really hard to find these days.

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

maybe a more real thought on this is that since they seem to have problems updating their site (people getting paper NOA2's only and no emailed notices of approvals atm) it might be that they just have created a backlog through this.. What I see now in Igor's list is that there are approvals again but they got approved about 2 weeks ago, when the silence started sooo.... knowing the paper notices usually took about 2 weeks or so it might really be that this is the case.. meaning there will be more approvals really soon and, if they actually fix the updating thing on their website, it might even result in a shitload of people being approved the first week or so, which is, of course, not really a lot of people being approved all at once but a lot were approved a bit earlier... anyways, keep your hopes up high, I really think it is just temporarily and has something to do with people only receiving paper approvals

[Craig & Julia 0]

How about that they just got 2 keys to get into the building. One got lost, and the owner of the other one is on a 3 week vaccation?!?!

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

The petitions are in a time locked vault and it only opens up a few times a year... :S

[BlakeandOlha 0]

I'm sticking by my spring break in Panama City theory, as seen on Girls Gone Wild. Most of the adjudicators are lying under palm trees in an alcoholic haze, wondering where their bikini tops went (yes even the male adjudicators). The problem is that they swore to forget work when they went on Spring Break - and in this instance they've actually kept their promise. An accomplishment they are all quite proud of.

Sluuuurrrrrpppp - there goes another jello shot.

[debbylyn 0]

The CA heat has gone to employees heads.....since all facilities are non-smoking...all officers (they all smoke of course) go on government authorized smoke breaks every 15 minutes......since they must leave govt property to smoke, they spend half an hour in traffic everytime they go out to the local Dunkin Doughnuts for coffee and doughnuts to accompany their smokes. After their return they are so fat and lethargic from the carbs, they type 10 WPM and frequently check email and news posts about surf conditions on the coast. The remainder of the day is spent browsing through holiday brochures for "work related" travel. All employees go on frequent govt. paid vacations every two weeks under the guise of "immigration investigation" to such places as Aruba, Greece, and The Phillipines. Temporary workers filing in have been trained to answer phones with standard greetings and excuses such as "your file is on the shelf", "it may take another 30 days" or"it is being adjudicated".

*Requirements for employment at CSC: computer skills optional, must type slower than 20 WPM, must must be unable to find pen at the bottom of paper piles, must be overweight and hooked on coffee, cigarettes and Dunkin Doughnuts, must be able to process no more than one application per week, must be emotionally retarded and oblivious to the fact that VSC does their job at triple the approval rates in a third of the time!!

***posted on CSC entrance:

Always give 100 percent at work!

12 percent on Monday

23 percent on Tuesday

40 percent on Wednesday

20 percent on Thursday

5 percent on Friday!

Your Tax Dollars At Work!

Have A Great Day!

Edited April 16, 2008 by debbylyn

[StillThePrettiest 3]

Or, it could be The Pax, the G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate, so everyone is just really, really tired and they've stopped moving (you get super extra double points if you catch that reference to one of my favorite sci-fi series, ever).

series: Firefly

actual quote heard in: Serenity (the movie)

*quietly claims super extra double points*

*smiles smugly*

*lights one more candle in front of Maaaaal shrine*

B)

[aravis227 1]

Jeroen-That's a really good actual theory and I like it...I'm going to work on that one! I just combined Blake and Debby's theories into one and was picture all of these pasty, obese guys, laying under palm trees, drinking coffee flavored, frosty alcoholic beverages, in just bikini bottoms....EWWW!! I think I'm blind!

StillthePrettiest - I shall silently stare at your shrine with you for HOURS. I bet you loved "Trash" as much as I did!

[erintoronto 0]

Jeroen-That's a really good actual theory and I like it...I'm going to work on that one! I just combined Blake and Debby's theories into one and was picture all of these pasty, obese guys, laying under palm trees, drinking coffee flavored, frosty alcoholic beverages, in just bikini bottoms....EWWW!! I think I'm blind!

thanks to all of you for making me shoot water out of my nose and onto my computer screen

our time will come!!!

[StillThePrettiest 3]

StillthePrettiest - I shall silently stare at your shrine with you for HOURS. I bet you loved "Trash" as much as I did!

loved Trash, loved Out of Gas even more... might have loved Objects in Space the best though

[aravis227 1]

StillthePrettiest - I shall silently stare at your shrine with you for HOURS. I bet you loved "Trash" as much as I did!

loved Trash, loved Out of Gas even more... might have loved Objects in Space the best though

Out of Gas makes me cry every time I watch it! I also love "The Message"...the end of that is so bittersweet, especially knowing that it was one of the first scenes they filmed after finding out they were cancelled. What was Fox thinking?!?

Jeroen-That's a really good actual theory and I like it...I'm going to work on that one! I just combined Blake and Debby's theories into one and was picture all of these pasty, obese guys, laying under palm trees, drinking coffee flavored, frosty alcoholic beverages, in just bikini bottoms....EWWW!! I think I'm blind!

thanks to all of you for making me shoot water out of my nose and onto my computer screen

our time will come!!!

Always glad to oblige! We CSCers need a good laugh every once in awhile!