Russian wisdom from Natasha

[visaveteran1 33]

I am so confused. Are you being serious or not?

If a man had this attitude toward me, he would be out the door in no time. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm with a Russian man...

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

Sending your man "out the door" if he shows you his strength of character...which is what you both deeply desire and gravely fear--the classic paradox--will leave you with a measure of control but an empty heart. If you can not handle the paradox, you will fail in relationship. Embrace the paradox or find a good divorce lawyer.

I see you have the claimed the power to dismiss men who want to act masculine and thus require you to act feminine. What do you want Eekee? A man? Or a boy who will not challenge you to be a full woman...and let you skate? I think you don't fear men...you fear the challenge to be an adult woman in partnership with a strong man. This is the heart of the problem.

He can be powerful...and so can you.

Good Lord, is it April 1 again? 'Act masculine'???? What does this even MEAN? There was a time when dragging a woman around the cave by her hair was 'acting masculine'. in biblical times, the 'masculine thing' was for the man to always be obeyed without question. This is the 21st century, and the times they are a changing. It's now possible for a woman to be respected and honored and treated as a valued equal, and for the man to still be masculine and the woman to still be feminine. This is the relationship I have looked for, and found.

I'll now cross the line and make some stupid observations of my own. Men who beat and abuse their wives are universally quoted as saying "she had it coming" or "she was being uppity with me and needed to be put in her place". I hear echoes of this mentality here, and am quite disturbed by it. A proper woman's place is at her man's side as his equal, and a proper man's place as it his woman's side, as her equal. Just my two cents.

Your nice boy PC comments reveal you know very little bout the Russian culture which you claim to honor. And this has nothing to do with abuse or hurting anyone. You sound like a feminist propagandist. That reveals your openly negative view of men. I'm talking about generative healthy masculinity...not macho. Strength is lifting people up...weakness is hurting people as adolescent often do on the playground.

You don't need to show a Russian woman "her place" she already knows it if you'll just get out of her way.

[eekee 182]

My mother grew up in this culture. I am 1 month shy of a degree in Russian studies. What else do you want me to do, become a citizen?

I don't have a negative view of men at all. I have a problem with men who can't deal with a real woman.

Your nice boy PC comments reveal you know very little bout the Russian culture which you claim to honor. And this has nothing to do with abuse or hurting anyone. You sound like a feminist propagandist. That reveals your openly negative view of men. I'm talking about generative healthy masculinity...not macho. Strength is lifting people up...weakness is hurting people as adolescent often do on the playground.

You don't need to show a Russian woman "her place" she already knows it if you'll just get out of her way.

Edited April 16, 2008 by eekee

[visaveteran1 33]

My mother grew up in this culture. I am 1 month shy of a degree in Russian studies. What else do you want me to do, become a citizen?

I don't have a negative view of men at all. I have a problem with men who can't deal with a real woman.

Your nice boy PC comments reveal you know very little bout the Russian culture which you claim to honor. And this has nothing to do with abuse or hurting anyone. You sound like a feminist propagandist. That reveals your openly negative view of men. I'm talking about generative healthy masculinity...not macho. Strength is lifting people up...weakness is hurting people as adolescent often do on the playground.

You don't need to show a Russian woman "her place" she already knows it if you'll just get out of her way.

I think you don't get that Russian women put men first...it is Russia! This state of being is happily embraced by most women who lived under the old Soviet system. They hate feminism which doesn't sit well with American women or nice PC American boys. If a man wants sex when is wife is cooking dinner, she stops cooking and heads to the bedroom. No problem. Tell me Eekee, can you understand and accept that? if you can't. you flunk your Russian culture class. If you don't see this truth, then you don't understand Russian women. And thus, you don't understand Russian men either.

You hang with the young "new Russians" and I don't pretend to understand them. You tell me some are skin heads and hooligans. What part of young Russia shall we honor or embrace in the USA? They drink and do drugs and don't want to work. You tell me the boys are spoiled by Russian moms. What shall we say about that in a positive way? Many pretty young women are escorts and hookers to make easy money. How shall we honor that behavior in America? I love Russian women but I'm not blind to the many dark shadows of Russian life.

I don't want to "derussify" anyone. But I hear Russian women say they want to be rid of Russia. They want new life..a new way. It will require total immersion and a long process of learning the new and forgetting the old. Indulging them in microwaving cokes seems benign but what do they learn? That we Americans will tolerate nonsense? We can't say "no." Or could we possible show them a new way of drinking coke and teach them what they need to know.

If i start to hear how great Russia is when my wife comes to Russia, we'll have a very long and serious talk about what it is we're doing as man and wife in America. And there won't be any jokes.

[eekee 182]

wow, that's hilarious considering that

1)i was raised by a mother who grew up in this culture and all of the extended family i've ever know was also from this culture.

2)i lived with a russian family for several months in russia

3)i lived with my guy and another russian man for over 6 months

4)i speak russian

and what have you done? gone to russia and found a wife. ok.

i think you're in for a big shock when your wife actually arrives. or not, since she agreed to marry you. but whatever. i'm not marrying you, so i don't really care about your anti-feminist, anti-woman propaganda, or your ideas that women should drop whatever they're doing to go to the bedroom to please you. i haven't really seen this attitude from russian women at all. maybe when you go a stay for a couple of weeks in russia it's like that, but hello--it'd be like that in any long-distance relationship.

i've seen russian husbands and wives after long marriages... and trust me, there was no sex. no talking for six months at a time except for weekly fights? yep. but sex? loonnnggggg gone. and how about all those women i saw in russian nightclubs and bars who were obviously married but hooking up with someone other guy in the bathroom? yeah, they're loyal and subservient to their husband. uh huh.

and "new russian" is a specific term which refers to RICH russians, the "golden youth"--i don't know any of these people. if you knew anything about current russian culture, you'd understand that it refers to a very specific subset of russians, not just people who are well-educated and have good salaries for russians.

but seriously, you need to stop acting like you know what i've seen and who i know and what i want in life and from a relationship, because you don't.

My mother grew up in this culture. I am 1 month shy of a degree in Russian studies. What else do you want me to do, become a citizen?

I don't have a negative view of men at all. I have a problem with men who can't deal with a real woman.

Your nice boy PC comments reveal you know very little bout the Russian culture which you claim to honor. And this has nothing to do with abuse or hurting anyone. You sound like a feminist propagandist. That reveals your openly negative view of men. I'm talking about generative healthy masculinity...not macho. Strength is lifting people up...weakness is hurting people as adolescent often do on the playground.

You don't need to show a Russian woman "her place" she already knows it if you'll just get out of her way.

I think you don't get that Russian women put men first...it is Russia! This state of being is happily embraced by most women who lived under the old Soviet system. They hate feminism which doesn't sit well with American women or nice PC American boys. If a man wants sex when is wife is cooking dinner, she stops cooking and heads to the bedroom. No problem. Tell me Eekee, can you understand and accept that? if you can't. you flunk your Russian culture class. If you don't see this truth, then you don't understand Russian women. And thus, you don't understand Russian men either.

You hang with the young "new Russians" and I don't pretend to understand them. You tell me some are skin heads and hooligans. What part of young Russia shall we honor or embrace in the USA? They drink and do drugs and don't want to work. You tell me the boys are spoiled by Russian moms. What shall we say about that in a positive way? Many pretty young women are escorts and hookers to make easy money. How shall we honor that behavior in America? I love Russian women but I'm not blind to the many dark shadows of Russian life.

I don't want to "derussify" anyone. But I hear Russian women say they want to be rid of Russia. They want new life..a new way. It will require total immersion and a long process of learning the new and forgetting the old. Indulging them in microwaving cokes seems benign but what do they learn? That we Americans will tolerate nonsense? We can't say "no." Or could we possible show them a new way of drinking coke and teach them what they need to know.

If i start to hear how great Russia is when my wife comes to Russia, we'll have a very long and serious talk about what it is we're doing as man and wife in America. And there won't be any jokes.

Edited April 16, 2008 by eekee

[Satellite 1]

If a man wants sex when is wife is cooking dinner, she stops cooking and heads to the bedroom. No problem.

If only you were right...

Let me tell it to you straight: Your wife will kick your butt out of the house in a matter of months if you even attempt to try something like this along with your masculine "words" to justify it.

But I hear Russian women say they want to be rid of Russia. They want new life..a new way.

Maybe your wife feels this way and you have been mislead. Maybe the women you pick out of an internet catalog feel this way. But everyone else in Russia and I'll agree with Eekee do not feel this way. It's Russia #1 in all aspects.

[Okiebollweevil 0]

Man I had a good laugh at this thread. Those same rules apply in our house with the exception of eating hamburgers.

Gamboorgers FOO!

I also tried to argue (I gave up after a while) without making much progress. I guess any arguments fall upon deaf ears when they come from a man. If you haven't had the privilege of taking her to the doctor/dentist/etc. yet, you'll soon hear about how these "men" here don't know anything because they're not as smart or well educated as Russian doctors/dentists/etc.

This has been a great thread, and the foo? priceless! I hear it so much that it has become a new word in my vocabulary, although people look at you strangely when used. Now about those American Doctors, my wife is a doctor and she is scared to death of American Dentists and Doctors. They don't know as much as Russians but these Americans have wonderful technology (read toys here). I have also found out that my love for spicy food is a nono at home, so many meals taken at the Thai and taco hell alone. And when I put that spicy mustard on pelmini look out! Actually, she will try a dab. The latest pleasure at our house is to go to the melting pot for fondue chocolate (American choclate sucks of course)! And no good sausages, cheese, curds must come from the Russian store, along with the bugwheat (honey that is buckwheat, no I found a bug in it so it must be bugwheat)!

[Okiebollweevil 0]

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

I disagree in the strongest of terms. I have absolutely no intention of forcing American ways on Natasha, and I think the attitude that American ways are superior because they are American is ridiculous in the extreme.

This isn't to say that all things Russian are wonderful either - but the culture clash often brings to light off-beat and amusing incidents in every day life, and that is what I wished to share. There is no 'nervous laughter' from me over the things I shared - they are all true. I should tell Natasha that drinking cold beverages will not harm her, and then FORCE her to do it, because then I am being the strong American man she 'needs' and will respect? Hogwash. Where does the line get drawn? There is no 'right' way when it comes to such things, there is only the way that works in each individual relationship.

I'll get off my soapbox now!

I agree 100%. My wife already has my nads in her hands so much the better, since I am not a spring chicken anymore it and they aren't worth much anyhow. I expose my wife to American ways and watch her turn up her nose at how amenrican women go out in sweatsuits, and act in other totally disgusting ways. I have had to make big adjustments in my life to accomodate her, and she to me, so it is not the pleasure palace here in the states, lots of adjustments for everyone involved. My wife won't drink koka but she dearly loves her chai, and I wouldn't change the person she is and make her into a Stepford wife marching in synchronism with all the other american women. She is an individual who comes from Russia and I respect, admire and adore her individualityand the country she comes from. America isn't the be all do all is all of the universe, perhaps that is why we are so despised by other cultures because we wrongly import the idea of our way or the highway, we know what is best for you people attitudes.

[Chuckles 0]

I don't know anything about Russian women in general, all I know is my Russian wife, and my experiences are in conflict with Mr. Connery. My wife used to microwave cold juice and such when she first came, and now she doesn't. It didn't take any proding from me. And who cares if she likes warm drinks? And all that other stuff about stopping the cooking and having sex... SOUNDS GREAT! But I don't see women out there like that (unpaid), Russian or otherwise, and I would have little respect for them anyways.

My experiences were similar to KG's. Maybe 50% of his "jokes" I can relate with. I feel like I have a strong relationship. And, last I checked, the balls were still swinging between my legs, not hers.

Edited April 16, 2008 by Chuckles

[visaveteran1 33]

If a man wants sex when is wife is cooking dinner, she stops cooking and heads to the bedroom. No problem.

If only you were right...

Let me tell it to you straight: Your wife will kick your butt out of the house in a matter of months if you even attempt to try something like this along with your masculine "words" to justify it.

But I hear Russian women say they want to be rid of Russia. They want new life..a new way.

Maybe your wife feels this way and you have been mislead. Maybe the women you pick out of an internet catalog feel this way. But everyone else in Russia and I'll agree with Eekee do not feel this way. It's Russia #1 in all aspects.

It's a fact that most American men met Russian women on internet dating sites. The number of Russian and FSU women on these sites is staggering...clearly a huge need is being served by these sites.

If you want to slip your personal shadow into this conversation and call them "catalogs" have fun youngster. But let me help you make the distinctions. You buy something from a catalog. You only meet someone on a dating site. You get an introduction. Nothing is purchased. Nothing is owned. Not even close or similar except in your misguided mind.

I've had a number of Russian girlfriends over many years...several I met on my own without the internet. Two were in the US. So you're characterization of me is in error.

All the women were between 39 and 55, a wide range. Not one liked Russia...not one. Not one liked Russian men...not one. Each treated me very well and in the Russian tradition of putting the man's interest ahead of their own. One woman told me that when she was a girl, at times of hardship only her father ate meat as he was the head of the family. She also told me her mother never refused her father sex, even if she didn't feel well. It was her duty. It is Russia. It is hard but it is Russia. We can't cherry pick the good from the not so good like some of you seem so inclined to do.

Try as you may to force fit Russian women into the small box of feminism and "equality," Russian women want a man and a family. maybe not all Russian women from the big cities or the ones too young to remember the USSR, but the ladies I know criticize the way American women treat men. There is no "sisterhood." They look down on American women.

I have no intention of changing my wife's Russian qualities (that I so love and cherish) and i certainly DO NOT want her to act like an entitled American woman... but I also will not try to create a false reality either. We will live in America...not Russia. It's my responsibility to guide her and empower her to be an American citizen.

[eekee 182]

I think there is a very specific subset of women who would want to date you, and they would share certain characteristics across the globe, whether they were Chinese, Russian, or Australian. So far everyone else has refuted your observations about Russian women and Russian culture. Perhaps your observations should be limited to "Women who want to date seanconneryii." And if you want a woman who thinks that she should be a sex slave to her husband... that says it all. It's not about American women being "entitled." And if I am entitled, so what? I believe that I am entitled to certain basic rights in a relationship. Like the right to only have sex when we both want to have it. It's not Russian tradition to do whatever a man asks of you--it's SPOUSAL ABUSE tradition. Do these women also say that their dad smacked their mom around when they wanted to, cause it was their "right as head of the household"?

It's a fact that most American men met Russian women on internet dating sites. The number of Russian and FSU women on these sites is staggering...clearly a huge need is being served by these sites.

If you want to slip your personal shadow into this conversation and call them "catalogs" have fun youngster. But let me help you make the distinctions. You buy something from a catalog. You only meet someone on a dating site. You get an introduction. Nothing is purchased. Nothing is owned. Not even close or similar except in your misguided mind.

I've had a number of Russian girlfriends over many years...several I met on my own without the internet. Two were in the US. So you're characterization of me is in error.

All the women were between 39 and 55, a wide range. Not one liked Russia...not one. Not one liked Russian men...not one. Each treated me very well and in the Russian tradition of putting the man's interest ahead of their own. One woman told me that when she was a girl, at times of hardship only her father ate meat as he was the head of the family. She also told me her mother never refused her father sex, even if she didn't feel well. It was her duty. It is Russia. It is hard but it is Russia. We can't cherry pick the good from the not so good like some of you seem so inclined to do.

Try as you may to force fit Russian women into the small box of feminism and "equality," Russian women want a man and a family. maybe not all Russian women from the big cities or the ones too young to remember the USSR, but the ladies I know criticize the way American women treat men. There is no "sisterhood." They look down on American women.

I have no intention of changing my wife's Russian qualities (that I so love and cherish) and i certainly DO NOT want her to act like an entitled American woman... but I also will not try to create a false reality either. We will live in America...not Russia. It's my responsibility to guide her and empower her to be an American citizen.

Edited April 16, 2008 by eekee

[KGSodie 0]

I had Natasha software-translate this entire thread, and then she typed her response (primarily for seanconneryii). We then software-translated it back into English, and then did some manual cleanup and editing. The result is below. It's not perfect, but I think her meaning is relatively clear and intact:

Thanks to everyone who answered this post about what we find amusing in our life. Everything is really sometimes very humorous for us. I too sometimes do not understand the American life, but I study.... I am very entertained by what I have seen, such as the dresses for sale in the American stores even though the women I see almost always wear only jeans or shorts. Or when I see people in the street when it is cold and they wear shorts or a short-sleeved shirt how I can see that they are clearly cold. Or why going for a walk or to visit friends must be planned in advance. But I love this country and I respect it's traditions and I attempt to combine the traditions of Russia and America, though I shall forever remain a Russian woman.

seanconneryii, you think that the Russian woman wishes to be oppressed or to compete with you to see who is the stronger personality? NO! Each woman wishes to find love and be the favorite of their man. In marriage what is important is LOVE and RESPECT and PARTNERSHIP, but NOT war and games to see who is the strongest. If you love the person you will accept all their advantages and prosperities and culture and will not try and force them to change. Each woman is convinced that having arrived in the country of their groom that they will support their man and receive their support, but not one of us wishes to be transformed into a silent doll or a sex slave at the requirement of the man! Why do you think that by making a woman subservient through your force that a woman will consider you as a man? Most likely she will be afraid to come to you or respect your words. It is sincerely a pity to me and I very much hope that your woman is able to resist you so that you do not crush her spirit by the force of your desires. And yet your balls shall remain in your hands.

[visaveteran1 33]

I had Natasha software-translate this entire thread, and then she typed her response (primarily for seanconneryii). We then software-translated it back into English, and then did some manual cleanup and editing. The result is below. It's not perfect, but I think her meaning is relatively clear and intact:

Thanks to everyone who answered this post about what we find amusing in our life. Everything is really sometimes very humorous for us. I too sometimes do not understand the American life, but I study.... I am very entertained by what I have seen, such as the dresses for sale in the American stores even though the women I see almost always wear only jeans or shorts. Or when I see people in the street when it is cold and they wear shorts or a short-sleeved shirt how I can see that they are clearly cold. Or why going for a walk or to visit friends must be planned in advance. But I love this country and I respect it's traditions and I attempt to combine the traditions of Russia and America, though I shall forever remain a Russian woman.

seanconneryii, you think that the Russian woman wishes to be oppressed or to compete with you to see who is the stronger personality? NO! Each woman wishes to find love and be the favorite of thieir man. In marriage what is important is LOVE and RESPECT and PARTNERSHIP, but NOT war and games to see who is the strongest. If you love the person you will accept all their advantages and prosperities and culture and will not try and force them to change. Each woman is convinced that having arrived in the country of their groom that they will support their man and receive their support, but not one of us wishes to be transformed into a silent doll or a sex slave at the requirement of the man! Why do you think that by making a woman subservient through your force that a woman will consider you as a man? Most likely she will be afraid to come to you or respect your words. It is sincerely a pity to me and I very much hope that your woman is able to resist you so that you do not crush her spirit by the force of your desires. And yet your balls shall remain in your hands.

I don't do personal attacks or counter attacks on someone's Russian girlfriend or wife (except maybe Satellite's alleged wife ) ...so I will not reply to Kevin's fiancee. I guess I'm a gentleman oppressor. I don't know her or particularly care about her comments about me..someone she does not know. And i suspect she's been heavily influenced by Kevin's "helpful" translations. Anyway, I think it's unfair to draw her into this discussion. I just will not reply.

As far as my wife is concerned, I say to all posters...mind your own business. Expressing general thoughts, philosophies or experiences is open to discussion...my relationship with my wife is off limits. That's my boundary. End of story.

We're having a free flowing and wide open talk...not dissing each other's girlfriends or wives or our relationships with them. When the day comes when that starts to happen, that's the day I drop off the Russian forum.

My hope is there is room for more then one truth or reality or mindset on the forum. I hope we can speak honestly and openly and argue and wrestle with issues as gentleman and ladies. If people can't take an opposing view of the world, don't post on a thread you can't handle.

[visaveteran1 33]

I think there is a very specific subset of women who would want to date you, and they would share certain characteristics across the globe, whether they were Chinese, Russian, or Australian. So far everyone else has refuted your observations about Russian women and Russian culture. Perhaps your observations should be limited to "Women who want to date seanconneryii." And if you want a woman who thinks that she should be a sex slave to her husband... that says it all. It's not about American women being "entitled." And if I am entitled, so what? I believe that I am entitled to certain basic rights in a relationship. Like the right to only have sex when we both want to have it. It's not Russian tradition to do whatever a man asks of you--it's SPOUSAL ABUSE tradition. Do these women also say that their dad smacked their mom around when they wanted to, cause it was their "right as head of the household"?

It's a fact that most American men met Russian women on internet dating sites. The number of Russian and FSU women on these sites is staggering...clearly a huge need is being served by these sites.

If you want to slip your personal shadow into this conversation and call them "catalogs" have fun youngster. But let me help you make the distinctions. You buy something from a catalog. You only meet someone on a dating site. You get an introduction. Nothing is purchased. Nothing is owned. Not even close or similar except in your misguided mind.

I've had a number of Russian girlfriends over many years...several I met on my own without the internet. Two were in the US. So you're characterization of me is in error.

All the women were between 39 and 55, a wide range. Not one liked Russia...not one. Not one liked Russian men...not one. Each treated me very well and in the Russian tradition of putting the man's interest ahead of their own. One woman told me that when she was a girl, at times of hardship only her father ate meat as he was the head of the family. She also told me her mother never refused her father sex, even if she didn't feel well. It was her duty. It is Russia. It is hard but it is Russia. We can't cherry pick the good from the not so good like some of you seem so inclined to do.

Try as you may to force fit Russian women into the small box of feminism and "equality," Russian women want a man and a family. maybe not all Russian women from the big cities or the ones too young to remember the USSR, but the ladies I know criticize the way American women treat men. There is no "sisterhood." They look down on American women.

I have no intention of changing my wife's Russian qualities (that I so love and cherish) and i certainly DO NOT want her to act like an entitled American woman... but I also will not try to create a false reality either. We will live in America...not Russia. It's my responsibility to guide her and empower her to be an American citizen.

Eekee, deal with it...there are strong, free, powerful, loving women who consider it a wife's duty and joy to please her husband sexually and otherwise. It's called giving. I know the concept is hard for American women to grasp...that sex isn't necessarily done by taking a vote. The American divorce rate is sky high because women in the USA do what i call "control by withhold." That is, women gain power and control by withholding sex...or giving sex...whatever they're agenda dictates in any given moment or situation. That's not equality..that's exploitation.

I don't put in my profile: "Looking for Bohemian women for free love." There is no subgroup of seanconneryii women who date me. Anyone who disputes that Russian women love sex and offer it to there boyfriends and husbands freely is crazy wrong or very unlucky. But Russian women also consider offering sex as important as bringing her husband a pill if he has a pain. It's her wifely role to take care of her husband and Russian men don't like to be told "later dear." When the Russian man says "Now' he means now. And the wife understands this dynamic and is Ok with it. It is Russia. You're the Russian hotshot...you ought to know this. Ask your boyfriend how it was for his dad or uncle.

[Ilya R. 0]

Wow, dude

Did you live under a rock or something? Most women operate this way, Russian or not.

[eekee 182]

I can answer this question re: my bf's parents, but I won't because it's none of your or this board's business. All i can say is that you're wrong.

You've never slept with a Russian man or been in a relationship with one, as far as I know. So I don't know where you're getting your ideas. And you've probably dated Russian women who are on the bitter side of things as well--perhaps because they dated/were married to men who has this attitude? Your vision of a Russian marriage sounds like the one my great-grandmother had in pre-revolutionary times, when she was married off at 14 to a man more than 2x her age. And she was a very unhappy woman. It's a very old idea of what a relationship would be which I think existed in Western/Eastern European cultures 100 years ago. Not very applicable to now in Russia. Maybe in some cultures which i don't have much awareness of it's still the norm, but it's not in Russia. If you so much as suggested what you're suggesting here to any of the Russian women I know personally--who range in age from my age to babushki--you'd be in big trouble. KGSodie's wife seems to agree with me. it's a very offensive viewpoint.

And how fun is sex if it's basically borderline rape? If the girl's not into it, I doubt it's fun at all. Just because someone only has sex when they ACTUALLY want to and are ACTUALLY turned on doesn't make them not giving in bed or whatever. In fact, chances are they have more sex with their husband than someone who is commanded to spread their legs at the whim of their husband. It makes them better in bed because they actually know what they want and don't see sex as a duty or a chore, but something that they enjoy and want to do. Is that so shocking a concept? A healthy, mutually-satifsying, mind-blowing sexual relationship is not about "duties," and if that's what you truly believe, then I feel very sorry for you.

Eekee, deal with it...there are strong, free, powerful, loving women who consider it a wife's duty and joy to please her husband sexually and otherwise. It's called giving. I know the concept is hard for American women to grasp...that sex isn't necessarily done by taking a vote. The American divorce rate is sky high because women in the USA do what i call "control by withhold." That is, women gain power and control by withholding sex...or giving sex...whatever they're agenda dictates in any given moment or situation. That's not equality..that's exploitation.

I don't put in my profile: "Looking for Bohemian women for free love." There is no subgroup of seanconneryii women who date me. Anyone who disputes that Russian women love sex and offer it to there boyfriends and husbands freely is crazy wrong or very unlucky. But Russian women also consider offering sex as important as bringing her husband a pill if he has a pain. It's her wifely role to take care of her husband and Russian men don't like to be told "later dear." When the Russian man says "Now' he means now. And the wife understands this dynamic and is Ok with it. It is Russia. You're the Russian hotshot...you ought to know this. Ask your boyfriend how it was for his dad or uncle.