Russian wisdom from Natasha

[R&I 0]

That was funny. Very special post. Microwaving......Thanks KGSodie.

I was laughing for the reason that it all reminded me behavior of my fiance's teenaged sons in Moscow. They disliked everything, "nasty" was the most frequebtly used word. They used to sleep with the windows open at -15C !!!!!! I was scared for their health...

Well, we finally came to a conclusion that sitting together and working family rules would be the best option. And I am sure it works both ends (US+Russia).

[slim 1,523]

Man I had a good laugh at this thread. Those same rules apply in our house with the exception of eating hamburgers.

Gamboorgers FOO!

I also tried to argue (I gave up after a while) without making much progress. I guess any arguments fall upon deaf ears when they come from a man. If you haven't had the privilege of taking her to the doctor/dentist/etc. yet, you'll soon hear about how these "men" here don't know anything because they're not as smart or well educated as Russian doctors/dentists/etc.

[shikarnov 7]

Man I had a good laugh at this thread. Those same rules apply in our house with the exception of eating hamburgers.

Gamboorgers FOO!

I also tried to argue (I gave up after a while) without making much progress. I guess any arguments fall upon deaf ears when they come from a man. If you haven't had the privilege of taking her to the doctor/dentist/etc. yet, you'll soon hear about how these "men" here don't know anything because they're not as smart or well educated as Russian doctors/dentists/etc.

lol... At least that's one thing I know I won't have to deal with from Ira. In Ivanovo, they have an expression: "You go to the doctor's office to die."

[visaveteran1 33]

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

[eekee 182]

you're on fire!

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Did anyone else hear the "Battle Hymm Of The Republic" playing?

you're on fire!

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

[eekee 182]

That's funny... I heard

--IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE! SAVE YOURSELVES!

Did anyone else hear the "Battle Hymm Of The Republic" playing?

you're on fire!

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

Edited April 16, 2008 by eekee

[visaveteran1 33]

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

[eekee 182]

I am so confused. Are you being serious or not?

If a man had this attitude toward me, he would be out the door in no time. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm with a Russian man...

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

[KGSodie 0]

We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down.

If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue.

Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries.

Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family.

I disagree in the strongest of terms. I have absolutely no intention of forcing American ways on Natasha, and I think the attitude that American ways are superior because they are American is ridiculous in the extreme.

This isn't to say that all things Russian are wonderful either - but the culture clash often brings to light off-beat and amusing incidents in every day life, and that is what I wished to share. There is no 'nervous laughter' from me over the things I shared - they are all true. I should tell Natasha that drinking cold beverages will not harm her, and then FORCE her to do it, because then I am being the strong American man she 'needs' and will respect? Hogwash. Where does the line get drawn? There is no 'right' way when it comes to such things, there is only the way that works in each individual relationship.

I'll get off my soapbox now!

[KGSodie 0]

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

And the hits just keep on coming? Let's see, where shall I start....

Low road? What low road? Respecting a woman for her culture, not to mention her valuable input, ideas, and creativity is taking the low road? She'll tote my parts around in a bag? Sounds like you prefer that you tote her parts around in a bag. It's about COMPROMISE and UNDERSTANDING and TOLERANCE. A good marriage is not the dictatorship you envision.

[visaveteran1 33]

I am so confused. Are you being serious or not?

If a man had this attitude toward me, he would be out the door in no time. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm with a Russian man...

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

Sending your man "out the door" if he shows you his strength of character...which is what you both deeply desire and gravely fear--the classic paradox--will leave you with a measure of control but an empty heart. If you can not handle the paradox, you will fail in relationship. Embrace the paradox or find a good divorce lawyer.

I see you have the claimed the power to dismiss men who want to act masculine and thus require you to act feminine. What do you want Eekee? A man? Or a boy who will not challenge you to be a full woman...and let you skate? I think you don't fear men...you fear the challenge to be an adult woman in partnership with a strong man. This is the heart of the problem.

He can be powerful...and so can you.

[KGSodie 0]

I am so confused. Are you being serious or not?

If a man had this attitude toward me, he would be out the door in no time. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm with a Russian man...

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

Sending your man "out the door" if he shows you his strength of character...which is what you both deeply desire and gravely fear--the classic paradox--will leave you with a measure of control but an empty heart. If you can not handle the paradox, you will fail in relationship. Embrace the paradox or find a good divorce lawyer.

I see you have the claimed the power to dismiss men who want to act masculine and thus require you to act feminine. What do you want Eekee? A man? Or a boy who will not challenge you to be a full woman...and let you skate? I think you don't fear men...you fear the challenge to be an adult woman in partnership with a strong man. This is the heart of the problem.

He can be powerful...and so can you.

Good Lord, is it April 1 again? 'Act masculine'???? What does this even MEAN? There was a time when dragging a woman around the cave by her hair was 'acting masculine'. in biblical times, the 'masculine thing' was for the man to always be obeyed without question. This is the 21st century, and the times they are a changing. It's now possible for a woman to be respected and honored and treated as a valued equal, and for the man to still be masculine and the woman to still be feminine. This is the relationship I have looked for, and found.

I'll now cross the line and make some stupid observations of my own. Men who beat and abuse their wives are universally quoted as saying "she had it coming" or "she was being uppity with me and needed to be put in her place". I hear echoes of this mentality here, and am quite disturbed by it. A proper woman's place is at her man's side as his equal, and a proper man's place as it his woman's side, as her equal. Just my two cents.

[visaveteran1 33]

Russian women are ready to be in natural alignment with American men in such a way as to restore order in the marital sphere. I urge men to not become Jay Leno and laugh it off and drag these wonderful women into our old shadows and downward spiral. We've been laughing our way into divorce, troubled children, and a weakened society for 150 years. Let's stop laughing and start standing up again while we still have time.

Stand up and seize this moment to create a strong partnership with a woman who will respect you for strength and leadership...rather than attempt to render you impotent and weak.

Russian women will stand with you but only if you are up for the challenge. If you want to take the low road, they'll carry your testicles around like oranges in a grocery bag.

This is a great new experiment between men and women...how will will stand the challenge? There is something bigger going on here. When you stop laughing, you will see it. Are you ready? Or are you just another funny boy?

And the hits just keep on coming? Let's see, where shall I start....

Low road? What low road? Respecting a woman for her culture, not to mention her valuable input, ideas, and creativity is taking the low road? She'll tote my parts around in a bag? Sounds like you prefer that you tote her parts around in a bag. It's about COMPROMISE and UNDERSTANDING and TOLERANCE. A good marriage is not the dictatorship you envision.

You both made a choice...to live in America. So live in America. Teach. Lead. Instruct. Help them assimilate. You're the American teacher. You can respect her culture...but you don't live in her culture...you live in America. The early months are important. Stand up and be the head of your family. THAT IS the Russian way for women. If Russian women could find such men in Russia, they'd not be marrying us.

If I know only one thing about Russian women, it's that they expect men to be the leader of the family...no compromising...that's an American creation to appease immature people...be the leader. Russian women don't want nice boys they want strong men. if you can't stand in that space, she'll not honor you.

[eekee 182]

First of all, who are you to tell me what i want in a relationship?!

I find a man much more "masculine" when he is able to accept the fact that I am a strong woman, rather than someone who is so scared of castration that he wants a subservient and docile woman... and wants to annihilate her Russianess when he specifically went to Russia to find a wife.

I don't want a weak man... I want a strong man. A strong man who is strong enough and confident enough to have no issue with the fact that I am a strong woman.

Anyway, I don't get why you went to Russia for a wife at all if all you want to do is derussify her. If you wanted a more traditional woman, you could have just found a Christian fundamentalist in a long prairie skirt. Then you wouldn't have the pesky problem of Russian women being strong. I don't get it... you seem to dislike Russian culture so much, as evidenced by your attitude toward Russian men etc. Why did you want to marry into the culture?

As far as divorce court goes... good luck with your derussification process! Just remember that in the Russian language, the words for "Americanize" "Europeanize" etc. are all formed the same way and are formed in such a way as to have a negative connotation... whereas "Russify" is different and has a positive connotation. Russian pride is built into the grammar. No matter how bad things get in Russia... it's always "наша." You can take a woman out of Russia, but you can't take the Russia out of the woman. And why would you even want to? I think that the VAST majority of the other men here love/respect their fiancee/wife INCLUDING her Russianess, not in spite of it.

And before you tell me that I don't know anything about the Woman Question in Russian culture... I have spent the past five years studying it. it is one of my academic areas of specialization.

Sending your man "out the door" if he shows you his strength of character...which is what you both deeply desire and gravely fear--the classic paradox--will leave you with a measure of control but an empty heart. If you can not handle the paradox, you will fail in relationship. Embrace the paradox or find a good divorce lawyer.

I see you have the claimed the power to dismiss men who want to act masculine and thus require you to act feminine. What do you want Eekee? A man? Or a boy who will not challenge you to be a full woman...and let you skate? I think you don't fear men...you fear the challenge to be an adult woman in partnership with a strong man. This is the heart of the problem.

He can be powerful...and so can you.

Edited April 16, 2008 by eekee