Here I go again.....

[morocco4ever 63]

Wow, I just read your story, and I am sorry for what you have been through. I can see that you are on the right track now, and are not going to be taken advantage of any more. He is a user, and you are a nice lady. You deserve more, and when the time is right you will have it. I must admit that I am laught my A$$ off at all of the things that have happened to him. He couldn't be more deserving...lol

But for now remain strong and give him back what he deserves.

[Staashi 371]

I did loose our baby he lived for 7 hours. It hurted me so if I can find something postive out of it, it would be I wont have to raise my child as a single parent and even if he helped it would only mean he would still be in my life. Every thing happens for a reason.

I'm sorry to hear about your baby ...but I do sincerely believe that God (in whatever form you believe him in) has a plan for everything. He is merciful and knew that the stress of your marriage and new baby would be too much on you. I believe in angels...and the Lord has given you one.

Be blessed and may you know peace.

Staashi

[DairyFarmer 1]

My thoughts are with you.

You are not a statistic you are someone who opened their arms to the possiblity of love.

[ginger1981 0]

Wow, what a story and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. I don't know you but reading how you have become strong in your resolve has been positively uplifting. You are really an inspiration to a lot of women out there. I'm terribly sorry about the baby, but like stated above things happen for a reason...and it seems that you have gained a lot of strength from all that you went through.

I was also laughing my a$$ off at all that has happened to him since he left you and moved to NY. Karma does come around!

[rdsey 0]

Wow, what a story and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. I don't know you but reading how you have become strong in your resolve has been positively uplifting. You are really an inspiration to a lot of women out there. I'm terribly sorry about the baby, but like stated above things happen for a reason...and it seems that you have gained a lot of strength from all that you went through.

I was also laughing my a$$ off at all that has happened to him since he left you and moved to NY. Karma does come around!

Thank all who have helped me through this I know at times it didn't seem like I was hearing but I was.

I have taken all comments weather good or bad to heart.

I pray thay what I went through will indeed help someone like many of you have helped me.

Rashell

[russian_armenian 4]

What a story. I feel for you, Rdsey.

You keep saying that you were working hard to save marriage. But in reality, you did everything to end marriage. Because when you reported on him to CIS-means you wanted him deported and be out of marriage.

I think what you did was a right thing. That con artist should be deported-it seams so clear that he just used you as a GC vehicle.

So, your actions were right, but brain/emotions kept saying that you have to save marriage (which is difficult even to call a marraige-him being away to make more money is ok but to be on singles sites, promiss to be back to ex wife...there is no excuses. Plus, he does not really makes more money while away).

Strong case of "power of denial" here. You dont need him. He does not deserve your love.

Just think-what do you get from him? Pain, expence, effort...I am sure you deserve to be happy and loved/cared back.

Thanks for getting back to us. First, I'm so sorry about your baby. Big Hugs!! Secondly, I think you're finally seeing him for what he really is, and I know that doing that, hurts you very much. You mentioned his GC expired, and he's not living with you, so basically, he'll be applying for conditions to be lifted on his own, and is probably working illegally now anyway. I'd stay as far away as possible from him. This information at the lawyers, is this a divorce lawyer? There should not be any reason why you'd both be at immigration together anyway, since you've said you're not sponsoring him in lifting of conditions. I'm glad you've moved on. All the best in the future.

Yes this was the immugration lawyer. This was back before he moved to NY. She wanted to tlk to both of us about our sitution. She explained to him how his case looks messy and she said we had until 09 before the removal of conditions I state then and now I will attend because I dont want him to lie to get his status. I want to state my side.

I saw him for what he was but ddn't want to first because before we got married people were already saying he was going to do it but it was because they knew someone that had gone through it or because it was so comon for them to marry only for status so I didnt want to say they were right, second I really loved him, I still do but its weaken each day I think about what he put me and my children through, third the divorce rate is so high with african americans that sometime I feel like its expected to divorce, be a single parent or a low life dad and I didn't want to be in the list so I can with out a doubt say I worked hard to make this marriage work.

[ForeverAmen 0]

Whoa! I have read your story, and am saddened by what you have gone through. Continue to stay strong, and always ask your Higher Power for strength to endure.

Boaz

[rdsey 0]

What a story. I feel for you, Rdsey.

You keep saying that you were working hard to save marriage. But in reality, you did everything to end marriage. Because when you reported on him to CIS-means you wanted him deported and be out of marriage.

I think what you did was a right thing. That con artist should be deported-it seams so clear that he just used you as a GC vehicle.

So, your actions were right, but brain/emotions kept saying that you have to save marriage (which is difficult even to call a marraige-him being away to make more money is ok but to be on singles sites, promiss to be back to ex wife...there is no excuses. Plus, he does not really makes more money while away).

Strong case of "power of denial" here. You dont need him. He does not deserve your love.

Just think-what do you get from him? Pain, expence, effort...I am sure you deserve to be happy and loved/cared back.

Thanks for getting back to us. First, I'm so sorry about your baby. Big Hugs!! Secondly, I think you're finally seeing him for what he really is, and I know that doing that, hurts you very much. You mentioned his GC expired, and he's not living with you, so basically, he'll be applying for conditions to be lifted on his own, and is probably working illegally now anyway. I'd stay as far away as possible from him. This information at the lawyers, is this a divorce lawyer? There should not be any reason why you'd both be at immigration together anyway, since you've said you're not sponsoring him in lifting of conditions. I'm glad you've moved on. All the best in the future.

Yes this was the immugration lawyer. This was back before he moved to NY. She wanted to tlk to both of us about our sitution. She explained to him how his case looks messy and she said we had until 09 before the removal of conditions I state then and now I will attend because I dont want him to lie to get his status. I want to state my side.

I saw him for what he was but ddn't want to first because before we got married people were already saying he was going to do it but it was because they knew someone that had gone through it or because it was so comon for them to marry only for status so I didnt want to say they were right, second I really loved him, I still do but its weaken each day I think about what he put me and my children through, third the divorce rate is so high with african americans that sometime I feel like its expected to divorce, be a single parent or a low life dad and I didn't want to be in the list so I can with out a doubt say I worked hard to make this marriage work.

imes I sat in t. It was very hard and there were several t

Well I didn't try to end the marriage if you look at my old fourms you will see how long it took for me to do any thing about my marriage. There were many times I sat in front of immugrations debating about turning him in. I would call him on the cell and asked him how much he loved me or if he wanted to be married to me. When he stated he did I would drive away. I dont think it would be easy for anyone surely emotions are involved it was with me. If I had my choice I would be happy with my husband but I to had to read and reread my fourm and the replies. I would even read it like it was someone else that also helped me to say no I need to move on. So going back to your statement about wanting him deployed that is the last thing I want for him or any one else.

[DairyFarmer 1]

Well I didn't try to end the marriage if you look at my old fourms you will see how long it took for me to do any thing about my marriage. There were many times I sat in front of immugrations debating about turning him in. I would call him on the cell and asked him how much he loved me or if he wanted to be married to me. When he stated he did I would drive away. I dont think it would be easy for anyone surely emotions are involved it was with me. If I had my choice I would be happy with my husband but I to had to read and reread my fourm and the replies. I would even read it like it was someone else that also helped me to say no I need to move on. So going back to your statement about wanting him deployed that is the last thing I want for him or any one else.

Oh honey, it is always hard when we are deceived. I have followed your story and I can see you tried. What I wish for you is the possibility to move on and start again. I suspect it will be some time.

In the mean time my thoughts are with you.

[russian_armenian 4]

Oh, I am sorry, RDsey. I have not read your old forums. But I understand what you went through. And reporting him to CIS is right in this situation-it does not look like he wanted to have a family with you and just plainly kept brainwashing you and played with your feelings. I just hate con artists personality. Because if he would take a risk and openly say that he does not feel that he wants to continue marriage-I would say it is wrong to report to CIS (even if he lived with you only a few weeks-sometimes it might be enough). But he kept abusing your feeling-this is wrong. You dont need that person. He might not be a "really" bad broke but he does not care about you a damn. I know it takes time to realize it (hope is dying the last) but once you know-think if he does not care, why you should?

I wish you heal fast

What a story. I feel for you, Rdsey.

You keep saying that you were working hard to save marriage. But in reality, you did everything to end marriage. Because when you reported on him to CIS-means you wanted him deported and be out of marriage.

I think what you did was a right thing. That con artist should be deported-it seams so clear that he just used you as a GC vehicle.

So, your actions were right, but brain/emotions kept saying that you have to save marriage (which is difficult even to call a marraige-him being away to make more money is ok but to be on singles sites, promiss to be back to ex wife...there is no excuses. Plus, he does not really makes more money while away).

Strong case of "power of denial" here. You dont need him. He does not deserve your love.

Just think-what do you get from him? Pain, expence, effort...I am sure you deserve to be happy and loved/cared back.

Thanks for getting back to us. First, I'm so sorry about your baby. Big Hugs!! Secondly, I think you're finally seeing him for what he really is, and I know that doing that, hurts you very much. You mentioned his GC expired, and he's not living with you, so basically, he'll be applying for conditions to be lifted on his own, and is probably working illegally now anyway. I'd stay as far away as possible from him. This information at the lawyers, is this a divorce lawyer? There should not be any reason why you'd both be at immigration together anyway, since you've said you're not sponsoring him in lifting of conditions. I'm glad you've moved on. All the best in the future.

Yes this was the immugration lawyer. This was back before he moved to NY. She wanted to tlk to both of us about our sitution. She explained to him how his case looks messy and she said we had until 09 before the removal of conditions I state then and now I will attend because I dont want him to lie to get his status. I want to state my side.

I saw him for what he was but ddn't want to first because before we got married people were already saying he was going to do it but it was because they knew someone that had gone through it or because it was so comon for them to marry only for status so I didnt want to say they were right, second I really loved him, I still do but its weaken each day I think about what he put me and my children through, third the divorce rate is so high with african americans that sometime I feel like its expected to divorce, be a single parent or a low life dad and I didn't want to be in the list so I can with out a doubt say I worked hard to make this marriage work.

imes I sat in t. It was very hard and there were several t

Well I didn't try to end the marriage if you look at my old fourms you will see how long it took for me to do any thing about my marriage. There were many times I sat in front of immugrations debating about turning him in. I would call him on the cell and asked him how much he loved me or if he wanted to be married to me. When he stated he did I would drive away. I dont think it would be easy for anyone surely emotions are involved it was with me. If I had my choice I would be happy with my husband but I to had to read and reread my fourm and the replies. I would even read it like it was someone else that also helped me to say no I need to move on. So going back to your statement about wanting him deployed that is the last thing I want for him or any one else.

[Nutty 2]

Dear Sans:

You repeat everything. Nothing has changed and your husband is still a jerk who is using you.

Advice: Keep written records of every time you call immigration about reporting your husband for immigration fraud.

Write down:

Date of call

Time of call

Name of Immigration representative you speak to

What you speak about

Later, if the government comes knocking on your door for money to pay for this husband, you can say to them, "Hey I reported this to you and here is a record of my contacting you and trying to get some action from you."

Best of luck.

[rdsey 0]

Dear Sans:

You repeat everything. Nothing has changed and your husband is still a jerk who is using you.

Advice: Keep written records of every time you call immigration about reporting your husband for immigration fraud.

Write down:

Date of call

Time of call

Name of Immigration representative you speak to

What you speak about

Later, if the government comes knocking on your door for money to pay for this husband, you can say to them, "Hey I reported this to you and here is a record of my contacting you and trying to get some action from you."

Best of luck.

[font="Comic Sans MS]Thanks alot I will do that, I dont want to held responsible for any dirt that he does[/font]

[russian_armenian 4]

The only way Rdsey is not responsible for spousal support if I-751 is denied and he does not find other way to stay. Because he is deportable only if they prove that marriage was a fraud. If there is not enough proof for bona fide, hes I-751 might be denied but he still can get adjudicated through other marriage, work, etc.

But even if his immigration status has no bearings on divorce court. He can sue for alimony even if CIS decided that marriage is not bona fide.

Dear Sans:

You repeat everything. Nothing has changed and your husband is still a jerk who is using you.

Advice: Keep written records of every time you call immigration about reporting your husband for immigration fraud.

Write down:

Date of call

Time of call

Name of Immigration representative you speak to

What you speak about

Later, if the government comes knocking on your door for money to pay for this husband, you can say to them, "Hey I reported this to you and here is a record of my contacting you and trying to get some action from you."

Best of luck.

[rdsey 0]

The only way Rdsey is not responsible for spousal support if I-751 is denied and he does not find other way to stay. Because he is deportable only if they prove that marriage was a fraud. If there is not enough proof for bona fide, hes I-751 might be denied but he still can get adjudicated through other marriage, work, etc.

But even if his immigration status has no bearings on divorce court. He can sue for alimony even if CIS decided that marriage is not bona fide.

Im not totally understanding, will you please explain it over thanks

Dear Sans:

You repeat everything. Nothing has changed and your husband is still a jerk who is using you.

Advice: Keep written records of every time you call immigration about reporting your husband for immigration fraud.

Write down:

Date of call

Time of call

Name of Immigration representative you speak to

What you speak about

Later, if the government comes knocking on your door for money to pay for this husband, you can say to them, "Hey I reported this to you and here is a record of my contacting you and trying to get some action from you."

Best of luck.

[Asante Maroon 0]

Rdsey,

I just read your story and I am so sorry that you are going through this. The process it takes to bring your loved one here is so arduous, time consuming, financially straining, emotionally draining, etc.... When you go through so much, its hard to think about cutting losses, so I understand where your confusion lies.

The decision is yours to make....I just ask that you think about you and do right by yourself because no one else will.

Good luck, mama.