tomorrow and maktoob(destiny in arabic)

[AlHayatZween 2]

his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...

From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.

Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.

i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.

[polarbear 0]

Aww Wahrania This plain sucks

Inshalla all will go well at your appointment and may allah give you the patience and strength to handle this. Take care of yourself.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...

From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.

Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.

i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.

i just cant stop crying.............the. tears flow like water...

[Ban Hammer 13,552]

his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...

From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.

Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.

i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.

i just cant stop crying.............the. tears flow like water...

><

[Imua 0]

I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???

Exactly...and his mom and him are so close...whats pissing me off is he is there and could probably have done this sooner(make the france transit visa)He waits till today with our ticket at may 5th and screws around then yesterday tells me to book a hotel for him for 2 days (which im glad i did on hotels.com because they dont have a cancellation fee even when you pay...but the airlines is another story....I just am very angry at him and his mother because neither of them are realising what is really going on with me and all of this..I struggle to get the expedite and all he can think about is seeing her...which i understand..but he isnt fighting to make things easier on me...Im facing all these tests alone...im not supposed to drive tomorrow....i have no help with the girl..no emotional support..and im just at my limit for catering to him...i feel like if he really loved me i would be the first thing he thoughht about....but I am not..she is...and its a mommy thing...and she I am sure could tell him honey come in october..If i was his mom...I could wait 5 more months and keep my dil calm....not throw me up against the wall while they sight see...IM TOAST

[Imua 0]

I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???

Exactly...and his mom and him are so close...whats pissing me off is he is there and could probably have done this sooner(make the france transit visa)He waits till today with our ticket at may 5th and screws around then yesterday tells me to book a hotel for him for 2 days (which im glad i did on hotels.com because they dont have a cancellation fee even when you pay...but the airlines is another story....I just am very angry at him and his mother because neither of them are realising what is really going on with me and all of this..I struggle to get the expedite and all he can think about is seeing her...which i understand..but he isnt fighting to make things easier on me...Im facing all these tests alone...im not supposed to drive tomorrow....i have no help with the girl..no emotional support..and im just at my limit for catering to him...i feel like if he really loved me i would be the first thing he thoughht about....but I am not..she is...and its a mommy thing...and she I am sure could tell him honey come in october..If i was his mom...I could wait 5 more months and keep my dil calm....not throw me up against the wall while they sight see...IM TOAST

Exactly...I wish I could be down there and help you out... How close are you to your MIL? You'd think SHE would understand your situation better than anyone...

[HLM 1]

i really dont know what to say!! its sad he cant see how much u need him!!! im so sorry .... forcus on YOU and only YOU!!! insha Allah everything will be ok and u will handle it !!! masha Allah u re strong and u will pull thru this! HUGS ...

[amal 4]

You have every right in the world to be pizzed! He is taking you completely for granted and its not cool at all. If he cared about you at ALL he would at least pay the fees for cancellations and pay for his own dang hotel for visiting his mother. I'm sorry but you have put up with wayyyyyyyyyy more than I would have. I'dda told mine to kiss it where the sun don't shine and sure, go se mom but u be here by the original date or NOTHING. I would make it known that he could visit her after he got his green card but you need him first! is his mother in failing health? if not... give him the "what for" and don't back down. Of course, don't change whats been done thus far coz it will just cause problems and resentment BUT for the love of goodness, don't change anything for him again! PERIOD!

p.s. if u do change stuff again...well...I still love ya anyway!

amal

[S and S 12]

If I were you, I would tell him he can do what he wants if he pays for his own tickets and hotel. In muslim culture it is the duty of the man to support his wife, not the other way around. He knows this and I feel like he is taking advantage of you. It is fine to pay a ticket if he is short on money and he will fly directly here. It is another thing to demand this much of you.

Please, take care of yourself and the baby. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers.

[Donna A 4]

im sorry for what ur going thru. really ur husband hasnt seen his mom in 5 years so why all of a sudden does he need to see her now? not to put any stress on u at this sensitive time but u should be watching out for the red flags u have warned so many others about here.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

If I were you, I would tell him he can do what he wants if he pays for his own tickets and hotel. In muslim culture it is the duty of the man to support his wife, not the other way around. He knows this and I feel like he is taking advantage of you. It is fine to pay a ticket if he is short on money and he will fly directly here. It is another thing to demand this much of you.

I have so much I want to say right now ... to all of you. I am just thinking I should sit tight and let today and the next 2 days play out. I agree with you S and S... I agree and I am hurting because I know what I would tell myself to do at this point and its sad.... Tomorrow I will have hard things to deal with

[sereia 0]

oh man wahrania.... i'm disappointed for you! all the things you post PLUS this? *hugs* too much drama!

good luck tomorrow.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

im sorry for what ur going thru. really ur husband hasnt seen his mom in 5 years so why all of a sudden does he need to see her now? not to put any stress on u at this sensitive time but u should be watching out for the red flags u have warned so many others about here.

I agree....Completely....I am afraid I will do something very fast to protect myselfbecause wallahi I know....and I am ready to overreact like you cannot imagine....more stuff has happened today and I am quietly melting down

[Donna A 4]

just be careful and take care of urself and the little on inside u. i know this is a very difficult pregnancey for u with the asthma making things worse but maybe thats a sign that this baby is a fighter already and everything will be ok with ur tests tomarrow. deal with the husband later but the baby now!!! good luck.