I really need some help

[dbears 1]

Agree with Mae & Noel.

Apparently the alleged scamming ex-fiancee is not the first K1 who scrammed off.

how long am I responsible for the first k-1 visa beneficiary? she took off... She had her interview in early 2004.

does this affect how much im supposed to earn to qualify for the current k-1 application???

I just don't know if he used his own advice on the second K1:

the rule is that a couple has to get married within 90 days. This is just a suggestion, but it

is based on experience. You could possibly save yourself a lot of grief and $$ if you

will step out of your emotions and observe your fiance during this time. You can set the

wedding date towards the end of 90 days. Allow yourself to be a third party observer

looking in. Be alert to red flags and possible issues. Address any issues that arise. You

can end up deeply regretting it, if you choose to overlook problems and just hope

they will resolve themselves. There is a whole lot more to living as a couple than emotion

and feelings of love which can be exaggerated from a long distance relationship. Your

fiance may not express her/his concerns to you in an open direct way. The USA is a

big big dream for many immigrants and some will say anything and do anything to

be here. Dont think that you are immune to being taken advantage of. This is not to say

you live under a cloud of suspicion and doubt. Of course few people would take this

advice, because "they know" their relationship will make it. Dont be afraid to ask

hard questions and even seek pre-marital counseling prior to being married. Most of

all trust your gut. All of us have that little still voice or tug at our spirit that warns of

upcoming disaster, take a long long time to think about it before you get married.

There is nothing wrong with putting a key-logger program on your computer and monitoring

your beneficiaries email for a month. Find out what they are saying to people back home.

a little invasion of privacy is way better than having your life blown apart later, not to

mention the emotional devastation..

hopefully this will be rcvd in the spirit it is given..

thanks

I don't know about any of you but that will definitely not sit right with me... it is a sound advice to know your fiancee/fiance more before getting married but it should be done before going through the trouble of immigration process but I am all for the premarriage counseling once fiance/fiancee gets to the US but as for KEYLOGGERS???.. invasion of privacy is invasion of human rights and a show of total disrespect and a sure love & affection killer... but that is only my views.

and the quote below just make me think that the more that it doesnt add up as to why the ex-fiancee immediately left to go back home or claiming to have interview in singapore or whatever. Maybe I am the only one who is seeing more between the lines here. Maybe growing up with Agatha Christie's hero and heroine & Nancy Drew has had so much effect on me... perhaps I should have sticked with reading mushy love stories noh?

Apparently both these girls had the idea that they could come over here and look around for someone else they liked and be able to marry them. They dont seem to have understood the process? or playing dumb i dont know..

I think most of the girls that think like this have the sense to stick it out long enough to get the legal papers and then take off, but apparently there are some who dont mind just taking off as soon as they hit the ground here.

This guy who called me had come to my place with his fiance and taken my fiance out to eat a couple of times while I was at work. I knew they were coming to do that and I thought it was nice. Well he told me that my exfiance was wanting to meet someone here that she really liked and she would leave me then. He told me she was up to no good. Well I already figured that one out.. but I dont know what these girls are really thinking.. I spoiled her so much, she

just thought I would let her do whatever she wanted i think..

I just wish for the OP to find peace and and resolve the issues within himself first before anything else. And I do wish him real happiness and love in the end.

as for those K1 girls who scrammed off on the OP, I will still think them innocent until proven guilty without a shadow of doubt. As what Ronmay has previously pointed out, there is two sides to the story and more often even three sides.

[DARUMA07 25]

Agree with Mae & Noel.

Apparently the alleged scamming ex-fiancee is not the first K1 who scrammed off.

how long am I responsible for the first k-1 visa beneficiary? she took off... She had her interview in early 2004.

does this affect how much im supposed to earn to qualify for the current k-1 application???

I just don't know if he used his own advice on the second K1:

the rule is that a couple has to get married within 90 days. This is just a suggestion, but it

is based on experience. You could possibly save yourself a lot of grief and $$ if you

will step out of your emotions and observe your fiance during this time. You can set the

wedding date towards the end of 90 days. Allow yourself to be a third party observer

looking in. Be alert to red flags and possible issues. Address any issues that arise. You

can end up deeply regretting it, if you choose to overlook problems and just hope

they will resolve themselves. There is a whole lot more to living as a couple than emotion

and feelings of love which can be exaggerated from a long distance relationship. Your

fiance may not express her/his concerns to you in an open direct way. The USA is a

big big dream for many immigrants and some will say anything and do anything to

be here. Dont think that you are immune to being taken advantage of. This is not to say

you live under a cloud of suspicion and doubt. Of course few people would take this

advice, because "they know" their relationship will make it. Dont be afraid to ask

hard questions and even seek pre-marital counseling prior to being married. Most of

all trust your gut. All of us have that little still voice or tug at our spirit that warns of

upcoming disaster, take a long long time to think about it before you get married.

There is nothing wrong with putting a key-logger program on your computer and monitoring

your beneficiaries email for a month. Find out what they are saying to people back home.

a little invasion of privacy is way better than having your life blown apart later, not to

mention the emotional devastation..

hopefully this will be rcvd in the spirit it is given..

thanks

I don't know about any of you but that will definitely not sit right with me... it is a sound advice to know your fiancee/fiance more before getting married but it should be done before going through the trouble of immigration process but I am all for the premarriage counseling once fiance/fiancee gets to the US but as for KEYLOGGERS???.. invasion of privacy is invasion of human rights and a show of total disrespect and a sure love & affection killer... but that is only my views.

and the quote below just make me think that the more that it doesnt add up as to why the ex-fiancee immediately left to go back home or claiming to have interview in singapore or whatever. Maybe I am the only one who is seeing more between the lines here. Maybe growing up with Agatha Christie's hero and heroine & Nancy Drew has had so much effect on me... perhaps I should have sticked with reading mushy love stories noh?

Apparently both these girls had the idea that they could come over here and look around for someone else they liked and be able to marry them. They dont seem to have understood the process? or playing dumb i dont know..

I think most of the girls that think like this have the sense to stick it out long enough to get the legal papers and then take off, but apparently there are some who dont mind just taking off as soon as they hit the ground here.

This guy who called me had come to my place with his fiance and taken my fiance out to eat a couple of times while I was at work. I knew they were coming to do that and I thought it was nice. Well he told me that my exfiance was wanting to meet someone here that she really liked and she would leave me then. He told me she was up to no good. Well I already figured that one out.. but I dont know what these girls are really thinking.. I spoiled her so much, she

just thought I would let her do whatever she wanted i think..

I just wish for the OP to find peace and and resolve the issues within himself first before anything else. And I do wish him real happiness and love in the end.

as for those K1 girls who scrammed off on the OP, I will still think them innocent until proven guilty without a shadow of doubt. As what Ronmay has previously pointed out, there is two sides to the story and more often even three sides.

Very well Said!!!

[KimandRuss 0]

Like sand through the hourglass.... Edited April 21, 2008 by KimandRuss

[RonMay 1]

Like sand through the hourglass....

and so as THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES

[Skeeter211 2]

I just wish for the OP to find peace and resolve the issues within himself first before anything else.

Amen, Sister!

Scott

[jom 4]

This too shall pass

[mcsexy 0]

the ex fiance was a nurse and spoke english very well.... the cousin doesnt speak english

but apparently you dont know how to read... so dont sweat it.

thank you very much now that was helpful......

its a cousin of my fiance... We always liked each other and I have chatted with her several times with a translator,

even when my fiance was here, my fiance helped me chat with her... lol

my problem was I spoiled my fiance too much and she just thought I would do anything for her...

she is in singapore now working as a nurse.... she used me, but its my fault for letting her also...

we still chat... she just should have come here on a work visa and not a fiance visa..

Sorry to hear what happened to you. Just to be safe why don't you order her a birth certificate yourself?

Here is the website: https://www.ecensus.com.ph/Secure/frmIndex.asp

Hope this helps.

Geez! she's a nurse? and dont know how to speak english? thats odd? even in Elementary we have english subject..I wonder how she graduated without knowing how to speak english... ...

Oooopppsss!!! sorry got confused...i do believe most of the Cebuana good in speaking english...well anyway goodluck to you...

[Seattle2Cebu 0]

I did put a keylogger on the computer... thats how I found out what a real phony she was.

she had a boyfriend back home... was chatting with others about all the angles... etc etc..

I always had a lot of doubts... so yep I shoulda listened to my gut feeling...

when I confronted her with the chats, she admited that she had been lying in all her emails, but that

she liked me as a friend and would I still help her? I said buh-bye.....

she said she got confused with the words "love" and "care" and she just cared for me but did not love me.

she wanted to stay and "take care" of me... meanwhile she put up a singles ad for a boyfriend and asked

me if its okay if she gets a boyfriend now? yep... I aint lying.. I felt like I was in a weird movie..

[sj5 4]

the one that speaks english scammed me... not the one who doesnt..

that's impossible she doesn't speak English..

this is a scam mudos operandi.

whatever you say.. i believed you.. i thought you were happily engaged?

[sj5 4]

the one that speaks english scammed me... not the one who doesnt..

I hope you will understand the worries of some people here... it just seems odd becoz:

1.english is our 2nd national language... and even those people who can't speak english can somewhat understand it even a little.

2.there's the fact that this other girl is your ex-fiancee's cousin right?

3.you started communicating with her with your ex-fiancee's help

4.if your ex-fiancee have indeed scammed you, and it has not been too long ago, shouldn't you be wary of trusting her family or anybody related to her?

its a cousin of my fiance... We always liked each other and I have chatted with her several times with a translator,

even when my fiance was here, my fiance helped me chat with her... lol

what you said in this quote really disturbed me. were you flirting with the cousin even while you were engaged with the ex-fiancee? (before she supposedly scammed you)

I am a woman, and if i caught my guy cheating or even just flirting with any of my friends, sisters, or cousin, it's goodbye. that is ultimate insult! I won't allow it to go deeper right before my very eyes and if I stay with this guy it also means he would have a chance to get closer to my sister, or friend or cousin and the flirting would continue and might even go deeper and if I can't trust this guy with any of my close friends and immediate family, how could I even trust this guy with other women I don't even know. No offense but this is my personal views.

And i know a lot of women (especially filipina who have the nature of hiding/covering shame at all cost) who would rather try to cover the hurt and the shame and insecurity that their partner's flirting has inflicted on them by pretending that they are not in the least affected and that they really don't have feelings for the person.

I hope that is not what happened to your fiancee coz it is really odd that she will immediately tell you that you could just be friends and just have a marriage for convenience after merely two days in the states... if she was really a scammer, she would have lead you on till you marry her and eventually gets her green card... but if she did it and said those words becoz she was hurt and insulted by your actions then two days was just about enough time for her to blurt out those things.

before everybody throws all the blame and the stone on the ex-fiancee let us not forget that scammers are two ways.. there are filipina scammers and there are foreigners who scams filipinas... there are cases when a foreign guy marries a filipina and then a few months to a few years, here comes the guy flirting online again with another filipina. and there are foreign guys also who comes here and meets not only one girl but many girls that he has been chatting online, trying to decide who will be best among those girls.

I hurt when a filipina tries to scam any foreign individual becoz it will reflect on every filipino BUT I hurt more when an honest filipina gets wind up in emotional deception caused by a foreign individual.

its his problem.. he is too stupid to get scam. its his fault.

Edited April 22, 2008 by SJ

[sj5 4]

he still hurts if he is bothered with ex-gf..

[Seattle2Cebu 0]

I chatted with the cousin AFTER it was clear my fiance didnt come here to be in a genuine relationship. I wasnt flirting with anybody. I didnt contact the cousin for a year at my fiances request.

the one that speaks english scammed me... not the one who doesnt..

I hope you will understand the worries of some people here... it just seems odd becoz:

1.english is our 2nd national language... and even those people who can't speak english can somewhat understand it even a little.

2.there's the fact that this other girl is your ex-fiancee's cousin right?E

3.you started communicating with her with your ex-fiancee's help

4.if your ex-fiancee have indeed scammed you, and it has not been too long ago, shouldn't you be wary of trusting her family or anybody related to her?

its a cousin of my fiance... We always liked each other and I have chatted with her several times with a translator,

even when my fiance was here, my fiance helped me chat with her... lol

what you said in this quote really disturbed me. were you flirting with the cousin even while you were engaged with the ex-fiancee? (before she supposedly scammed you)

I am a woman, and if i caught my guy cheating or even just flirting with any of my friends, sisters, or cousin, it's goodbye. that is ultimate insult! I won't allow it to go deeper right before my very eyes and if I stay with this guy it also means he would have a chance to get closer to my sister, or friend or cousin and the flirting would continue and might even go deeper and if I can't trust this guy with any of my close friends and immediate family, how could I even trust this guy with other women I don't even know. No offense but this is my personal views.

And i know a lot of women (especially filipina who have the nature of hiding/covering shame at all cost) who would rather try to cover the hurt and the shame and insecurity that their partner's flirting has inflicted on them by pretending that they are not in the least affected and that they really don't have feelings for the person.

I hope that is not what happened to your fiancee coz it is really odd that she will immediately tell you that you could just be friends and just have a marriage for convenience after merely two days in the states... if she was really a scammer, she would have lead you on till you marry her and eventually gets her green card... but if she did it and said those words becoz she was hurt and insulted by your actions then two days was just about enough time for her to blurt out those things.

before everybody throws all the blame and the stone on the ex-fiancee let us not forget that scammers are two ways.. there are filipina scammers and there are foreigners who scams filipinas... there are cases when a foreign guy marries a filipina and then a few months to a few years, here comes the guy flirting online again with another filipina. and there are foreign guys also who comes here and meets not only one girl but many girls that he has been chatting online, trying to decide who will be best among those girls.

I hurt when a filipina tries to scam any foreign individual becoz it will reflect on every filipino BUT I hurt more when an honest filipina gets wind up in emotional deception caused by a foreign individual.

its his problem.. he is too stupid to get scam. its his fault.

[Seattle2Cebu 0]

I chatted with the cousin AFTER it was clear my fiance didnt come here to be in a genuine relationship. I wasnt flirting with anybody. I didnt contact the cousin for a year at my fiances request.

and i cant help it if she dont speak english. My fiance tried to direct me to another cousin in Manila,

saying that the one I liked was just out for money; but I believe the opposite is true. That was just

more confirmation I was on the right track. The one she tried to direct me to came up with some story

about how her brother was in the hospital for drinking an energy drink called cobra.??? and they needed

200.00 dollars right away. I told her to talk to my ex-fiance.. meanwhile the cousin I like has never asked

me for a dime..

dili ako makahibalo mag Binisaya , makasabot ko ug gamay

[N360 0]

I am in contact with someone in Cebu who doesnt speak english and I am just beginning to learn visaya. I want to send a little money to this person just so that she can come and chat with me. She doesnt have ID. I want to send her a message.. Will someone please help me and translate this for me to cebuano... thank you very much

Ailene.. I will send money to the person you gave me in the email, but I want you to get your own ID

so i can send the money to you and nobody else.

Use the money that I send to go get a birth certificate. I think they will accept that at the bank

where you pick up the money from xoom.

Please do this, its very important to me. thank you

Thank you so much if someone will translate this for me...

My fiance isnt here to translate this for me. She went back to the Philippines. She announced we are just friends after

two days and wanted me to be in a fake marriage to help her !! wow.. well live and learn...

thanks for anyones help...

If the cousin (Aileen) is not asking for money, why were you asking someone to translate this???

This girl, Aileen, she survivied this long without you didnt she? Now you think she needs you financially?

You must do because you're sending her money without her asking for it. Or do you just generally feel sorrier for filipinas?

Maybe you just like giving money? I'm a bit confused now with this thread.

You dont have to answer any of these. It is none of my business. I'm just thinking out loud.

Edited April 22, 2008 by NoelandTintin

[RonnieKris 26]

This is correct. If you give her secret word, she only needs one form of ID. I send money via xoom.

Ronnie

birth certificate is not enough identification for her to claim the money that you will send in the bank.

she needs to have at least 2 primary ID OR 3 secondary ID but having birth cert will let her be able to get more ID's like NBI clearance and Postal ID.

good luck

I use Xoom in sending money and they only ask my sister for 1 primary ID plus the secret word.