Captain Ewok is RIC FLAIR

[almaty 19]

ric flair for mod..................wooooooooooooooo!..............

damn sister booty is famous..i wonder if she has been to space mountain???

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Bootylicious is Ric Flair's wife?

[Bootylicious!! 2]

Bootylicious is Ric Flair's wife?

Not to my knowledge. :lol:

No Bro Dean, I haven't been on that Space Mountain. I like younger men.

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[Krikit 1,164]

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The crowd goes wild!

Edited April 16, 2008 by Krikit

[pedroh 21]

wooooo!!!!

I'm afraid Ric Flair > Chuck Norris

[Ric Flair 0]

I just discovered something guys Captain Ewok is RIC FLAIR all along you were all fooled lolo he is the mastermind of his little scheme. He PMED me all about it loool. Maybe steve is also swaping story lines with him for ideas to run me off lol you all did a good job later. Steve is on here so damn much lol gaary c MA lol rest of you need a life spend more time with new born than on here and family members.

JR: Welcome to Tuesday Takedown! We've got a packed house in VJ, USA for what promises to be a historic show. It looks like erica has been at it again King. Ric Flair offered him one last opportunity 2 weeks ago not to disrespect his retirement but he just won't quit. Ric Flair is known and respected around the world but he's retired now. I don't know what erica wants.

King: I know JR! Either erica is really stupid, or he's got brain damage from all the beatings Flair has given him!

JR: I've just been handed a note King. Ric Flair is in the building and he's got something to say!

The lights go out around the arena and the crowd bursts into a roar when they hear the sweet, familiar sound of Wooooooo!

King: Look JR, Flair's running to the ring!

JR: This crowd is electric! They're on their feet for the Nature Boy Ric Flair.

Ric hits the ring, throws off his $1,500 suit jacket, bounces off the ropes three times, struts, and delivers a deadly elbow to the jacket.

Wooooooo!

Flair runs over to the table and takes the mic.

Wooooooo!

What's woooooo causin all this.......Nature Boy? Did I hear it right? Did I hear there was a party in VJ......tonight? Well.....ha ha......Ric Flair is here and will do what he does best. Party all.....night......woooooo.......long!

No matter where you are, or where you are from.......VJ is Flair Country! You may not like it, but learn to love it because it's the best thing going today.

JR: This crowd is going mad King! I've never heard a reception like this in the 30 plus years I've been covering this great sport.

King: That's because diamonds are forver JR and so is Ric Flair!

Now it looks like someone has been running their mouth, disrespecting the greatest wrestler this sport has ever known. Now erica

The crowd boos loudly, interrupting Flair.

Ric begins again.

Now erica......I didn't spend 35 years of my life traveling from coast to coast putting it all on the line every night of my life to get insulted by jobber. If you've got the stones, Ric Flair will break your bones. I challenge you to a

Before Flair can finish, the arena is filled with music and everyone knows what that means.

King: Oh no JR, it's Commissioner Ewok! What does he want!

JR: These two men haven't been in the same ring for a long time King. Commissioner Ewok has a long tradition of law and order here in the WWE.

King: He looks upset.....and hairy!

Commissioner Ewok struts down the aisle to quite a pop by the crowd. He stands up on the ring apron and stares at Ric Flair in the middle of the ring. The tension is growing and the crowd immediately settles down. Silence slowly replaces the roar. Manbear and Flair continue the stare down.

JR: We've got to go to commercial but stay tuned. This could be good!

JR: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. While you were away, you didn't miss much. Flair and Commissioner Ewok have been staring each other down during the whole break.

King: Yeah, JR Commissioner Ewok looks about three feet of mad! Where's his pants?

Commissioner Ewok finally ducks under the middle rope and enters the ring, climbing the turnbuckle so he can get eye to eye with Flair. He motions over for the Nature Boy Ric Flair to meet him in the corner, and when Flair obliges he takes the mic away from him.

Commissioner Ewok begins to speak, but it is hard to understand. It sounds like someone had Barry White's balls in a vice grip and asked him to squeak.

Ric Flair.......the man. 16 times the world heavy weight champion. Well, well.....quite an accomplishment. Quite a career. But you see, there's been one thing that has been bothering me about you........and it's that you are not really you.

JR: I don't understand King, what is Commissioner Ewok trying to say? The crowd is stunned!

Oh yeah, Flair. I know the secret and I think the people deserve to hear the truth! You've been parading around here telling everyone you're the man but you're not the man at all are you? You're a fake! An imposter and I've got the documents to back it up!

Flair looks stunned. In the world of professional wrestling, a man's real identity was always sacred and never revealed. While you're in the ring, you're in the ring and the rest was left alone.......but now stood Commissioner Ewok about to reveal Ric Flair's real name.

King: I can't believe this JR! I've never seen anything like this!

JR: That's right King, I guess this is how we value tradition here in the WWE. This is a sad day indeed for all of professional wrestling.

Then the music hits and the crowd diverts their attention to the ramp where from behind the curtains emerges Bootylicious.

The crowd starts to boo and it gets louder and louder.

JR: It's Bootylicious! What's she doing here?

King: I don't know JR, but I hope it's to let the puppies out!

JR: She's been away from the ring for months, this is getting stranger and stranger by the minute! Stay tuned folks......business is picking up!

JR: We're back ladies and gentleman and Bootylicious has got the mic!

I just want to say that Ric.....if that is your real name hahahahaha. I had to come down and see this. I've been waiting for the moment to see you go and it's finally here. I hate wrestling......and most of all I hate you. I hate you so much that I've decided to leave the U.S. That's right, I'm moving to Canada to support a real legend with a real name. Bret Hart!

The crowd boo's and starts chanting USA! USA! USA! Bootylicous covers her ears and shakes her head before proceeding.

Oh yes. I'm moving to Canada but that's not all. In honor of Ric Flair's real name being revealed, I'm going to change mine to honor my new and improved country, Canada. From now on, my name is.....wait for it.........Abootylicous!

JR: Abootylicous?

King: Yeah JR, what's that all aboot?

JR: She just went to ringside where she's been handed a Canadian flag, a Molson Ice and some poutine by a mountee! I guess that makes it official. She's now a Canadian!

King: This isn't fair JR! Why does Canada always get the Booty? I mean, they've got........well......ok forget that part but this still terrible JR!

JR: It looks like she's not done yet either.

Abooty: Now that I've been officially sworn in, Commissioner Ewok you may proceed hey! Open the envelope and let's find out who Ric Flair really is!

JR: Commissioner Ewok looks confused King, like he might not do it. After all of these years of law and order here in the WWE it would be shame to see him break a golden rule of wrestling. All of the tradition out the window in one moment, here and now.

Abooty gets impatient with Commissioner Ewok's hesitation and gets in his face. Commissioner Ewok looks across the ring at Ric Flair, who is standing with hims arms crossed waiting for a response. All the Commissioner can do is think of the countless times Ric Flair has defended the company and did what was best for the sport. Putting over posters to get the young talent some name recognition.......providing a distraction, even if only for a few moments to millions and millions of fans.

JR: Will he or won't he King! Stay tuned to find out!

JR: We're back ladies and gentlemen! Commissioner Ewok is in the ring. He's got two things, an envelope and a decision. Does he stab Ric Flair in the back and stain professional wrestling forever? That's not the Commissioner I know King.

King: Me either, JR. I never thought I'd see this happen! He's got big b@lls for a 3ft tall manbear!

Abooty: Do it, Commissioner! Do it!

Commissioner Ewok: I.......

The crowd boos more audibly than any other time in the history of sport. Commissioner Ewok looks around in disbelief. What a reaction. The fans want history preserved, that's clear. Abootylicous gets in his face and screams.

Abooty: DO IT!

Commissioner Ewok: I can't. It wouldn't be right. I shouldn't have even

But before he could finish, Abootylicous grabs the envelope from his hands. The mountees get in the ring and separate Abootylicous from a now angry Commissioner Ewok.

Abooty: If you don't have the manbear b@lls to do this, then I will.

The Commissioner tries to get past the mountees, but it's no use. Abooty rips open the envelope and proclaims to the crowd:

Abooty: Ric Flair is not Ric Flair. He doesn't even know his real name because he was adopted! Ric Flair is really Richard Fliehr. He's not from Charlotte, North Carolina. He was born in TN and adopted by a doctor from Minnesota!

She laughed and laughed, but the crowd just got louder and louder. Pretty soon they were throwing things into the ring. The mountees started shouting things at the crowd to stop, but they didn't. A soda came flying to the ring and hit a mountee in the head. He turned around to see where it came from and Commissioner Ewok took advantage of the moment by slipping between the mountee's legs.

Seeing the opportunity, Nature Boy Ric Flair, 16 time world champion went to join him. The effort was valiant.....even historic.....but the mountees and Abooty just had too many numbers and they were assaulting the champ and the commish with night sticks and slabs of bacon. Flair was down and bleeding on the mat. It seemed as if this is how his career would end.

And then it happened

Two giant logs came swinging down from the roof in opposite directions heading for their target.....Abooty. The logs come together and connect on both sides of her head, knocking her out.

King: Wow, JR.....it looks like the wood was too much for Abooty!

JR: Look King! They're Ewoks everywhere! Coming out from under the ring and they've got spears!

A group of 4 Ewoks got together and sat on each other's shoulders - 4 high. They took a mountee and whipped him into the ropes and with their arms extended, gave him a synchronized four-arm clothesline, knocking him out of the ring.

The Ewoks were cleaning house, tripping mountees with ropes, shooting them in the butt with darts and poking them with spears. They were small but ferocious and attacked without mercy. The mountees were no match for the manbears.

Eventually, there was only one mountee in the ring, surrounded by Ewoks. One of the Ewoks placed a small rock in a handkerchief and swung it around his head rapidly. He released and hit his mark perfectly. The mountee went down in a heap. Then, 4 Ewoks climbed each of the 4 turnbuckles and shouted in unison:

"Ewoky-Talky Elbow Droppy!"

They leaped from the turnbuckle and delivered a crushing elbow smash on the last mountee. In pain, he rolled out of the ring. The Ewoks started celebrating, holding their spears high in the air and dancing. They continued celebrating and left the ring. Ric and the Commish remained.

Ric and Commissioner Ewok finally emerged from their beating to see the celebration. Ric's face was soaked in blood but he stood up and walked over to Commissioner Ewok, picked him up and placed him on the top turnbuckle so they could speak face to manbear face.

Wooooooooo!

Commissioner Ewok......you made the right decision brother.

Flair held up his hand and asked Ewok to give him three. Ewok tried to slap Flair's hand, but Ric pulled it away, fixed his hair and gave Commissioner Ewok a devastating chop that sent him over the turnbuckle and outside the ring.

Wooooooo! Abuse of power!

The next time you want to......wok that aisle, you better understand that you're walking into Flair country. I am the 16 time world champion and the owner and operator of Space Mountain. If your legs were longer, I'd put you in the figure 4.

Woooooooo!

If you ever get hungry again. If you find yourself needing the adrenaline of stepping into the ring with Ric Flair, then do it with history in mind. Do it with respect to this sport and the tradition it holds. And if you do that, and still find yourself hungry then don't worry cause Ric Flair can serve up bear chops all.......night........long.

Woooooooo!

As Flair leaves the ring and goes back up ramp to the back, a familiar image appears on the jumbo tron.

JR: It's erica!

King: I thought he left JR!

erica: Ric g@y Flair! I'm gonna lol all over your lol until you lol. Now who's g@y, g@y boy! lol

JR: I'm not really sure what that means King, but maybe this isn't the last we've seen of erica. Wait....I've just been given an official translation. It looks like erica is challenging the Nature Boy Ric Flair to a retirement match!

King: But Flair is already retired!

JR: I don't think Ric Flair will back down from any match. erica has always wanted to be a man. But to be the man, he? is going to have to beat the man, and Ric Flair is and will always be......the man.

[almaty 19]

wow....brought a tear to my eye..

sidenote..i never knew sister booty was so ornery

[Bootylicious!! 2]

wow....brought a tear to my eye..

sidenote..i never knew sister booty was so ornery

I'm a straight up biotch sometimes bro Dean. :lol:

And that's Mrs. Booty to you.

[Krikit 1,164]

*dabs Abooty's bumps* You didn't have to hurt her, Nature Boy! She wouldn't have squealed on ya!

[Bootylicious!! 2]

*dabs Abooty's bumps* You didn't have to hurt her, Nature Boy! She wouldn't have squealed on ya!

No, because I haven't yet. I could have told everyone but I kept it to myself so he could continue to have his fun.

[LoriLawless 0]

I this thread.

[almaty 19]

wow....brought a tear to my eye..

sidenote..i never knew sister booty was so ornery

I'm a straight up biotch sometimes bro Dean. :lol:

And that's Mrs. Booty to you.

lol..sister booty just laid the smack down on the donkey boy ...ric flair

[Ric Flair 0]

*dabs Abooty's bumps* You didn't have to hurt her, Nature Boy! She wouldn't have squealed on ya!

Wooooooo!

Ric Flair didn't do it....it was the Ewoks. The old hide in the bushes and hit you with two suspended logs trick. She should have saw coming.

Next to Ric Flair, Ewoks are the dirtiest players in the game.

Wooooooo!

[Krikit 1,164]

Wooooooo!

Ric Flair didn't do it....it was the Ewoks. The old hide in the bushes and hit you with two suspended logs trick. She should have saw coming.

Next to Ric Flair, Ewoks are the dirtiest players in the game.

Wooooooo!

Damn you, Ewoks! Damn you to Endor!! *shakes fist*

[Ric Flair 0]

Wooooooo!

Ric Flair didn't do it....it was the Ewoks. The old hide in the bushes and hit you with two suspended logs trick. She should have saw coming.

Next to Ric Flair, Ewoks are the dirtiest players in the game.

Wooooooo!

Damn you, Ewoks! Damn you to Endor!! *shakes fist*

Woooooo!

Ha, ha *holds up the sign for the Horseman*

Be careful calling out Ewoks. If you only see one then you know you're in trouble and you've got 4 seconds to live.

They attack in packs and are worse than the nWo.

Woooooo!

Horsemen 4 life