Frustrated, angry, and hurt...

[jelti 0]

You’re boss deserves a good slap for the crime of believing this wannabe “expert” that has what background in immigration law ? Probably none in regards to filing an I-129F with the Texas Service Centre that gets transferred to California and then attending a Medical in Edinburgh and after all that an interview in London for a K-1 Visa! Don't forget the hotels, flights, trains, taxis and of course the trip back home to the North of Ireland... All of which takes “money” and a lot of “time”! I’m far, far from an expert myself.. this process wasn’t and isn’t easy.. I only wish it was!

Your boss’ friend is an expert in talking $hite for that crime alone he/she deserves a good stiff kick in the stones for their trouble .. you’re boss also deserves a good boot in the root for the crime of upsetting you.. which in turn upset me..

There’s a word to describe people like this “expert” where I come from.. a W***er is what they are!... I hate ignorant people!

[aidan80 9]

You’re boss deserves a good slap for the crime of believing this wannabe “expert” that has what background in immigration law ? Probably none in regards to filing an I-129F with the Texas Service Centre that gets transferred to California and then attending a Medical in Edinburgh and after all that an interview in London for a K-1 Visa! Don't forget the hotels, flights, trains, taxis and of course the trip back home to the North of Ireland... All of which takes “money” and a lot of “time”! I’m far, far from an expert myself.. this process wasn’t and isn’t easy.. I only wish it was!

Your boss’ friend is an expert in talking $hite for that crime alone he/she deserves a good stiff kick in the stones for their trouble .. you’re boss also deserves a good boot in the root for the crime of upsetting you.. which in turn upset me..

There’s a word to describe people like this “expert” where I come from.. a W***er is what they are!... I hate ignorant people!

[Indo_mommy 0]

I know when I moved here, everybody thought that because I was marrying a U.S. citizen that I automatically got a Green Card. I don't think it's too widely known the hoops we have to jump through...and shame on your boss for making you feel bad!!

Very true, some of my friends back home and here, even some of my relatives thinks it's just a piece of cake and I will be getting my GC so easily and made comments that really burn my ears but I've learn to shut off those people and get on with my life.

Be strong Melissa!

[Jaylen Brit 0]

squidge made me laugh - no usual fee of chocolate' LOL

Jelti - this misaprehension about visas is endemic - most of Len's workmates thought a fiancee visa was just a matter of sending a form and thats it I can come over forever.

Some people Ive spoken belive this is THE LAW - and can't get their heads around the fact the process takes so long (maybe they have friends who went thru vermont also..) Usually I find mentioning the phrase 'security checks for everyone due to 9/11' helps a bit - cos THAT they can understand - and don't doubt that can take time - but most people who weren't aware (and why should they be to be honest, I know little about UK visas for families), figured it had to be fairly simple.

I say educate your boss!

So no-one else has to suffer the way you did - shameful the way he presented the info to you as if you were lying tho. Very un-cool.

Wait til you feel strong and then give him the link to VJ - to the TIMELINE section - he can see it in graph form..and then he can apologise

[almaty 19]

yes, learn to shut them off is the best

[rebeccajo 14]

Print this out, highlight a couple of appropriate sentences, and leave it on his desk for him to find.

It's got the big eagle on it. Should shut him up.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...topic=11291&hl=

[snz1802 0]

What I have learned is people don't understand what they have not experienced or don't understand what they don't want to understand, and this is my opinion on it, I don't go around telling anyone that is not closest to me about what I am doing, not even some of my family members, because I really couldn't give two sh!ts what their opinions are on the matter, good or bad. If someone asks me, I do tell them the story and what I am having to go through and explain it, their response is theirs, it isn't mine. If they have a negative response to what I tell them, well let them, that is theirs to keep. I definitely do not have to take it along with me and believe me I don't. If they have positive things to say, then I continue talking to them about it. All I know is I am doing what is best for me and my fiance, and for our lives, and the people that really matter in my life are supporting me and even if they didn't, oh well, they would just have to deal with it......

[MichelleandCraig 1]

awwwwww sorry you had to deal with that #######!! Totally with you...unless someone has been through it, they don't 'get' it at ALL, no matter how much you explain it to them. Pretty sad he had to believe someone else when he had already heard the real story from you..THAT is annoying..don't ask if you don't wanna know!?!...anyway, hope you're feeling a bit better! M.

PS...I thought the EXACT same thing when I read Jim's thread..hahahah not meant to be an insult at all Jim..you know we love ya..hahah..I just thought it was funny..I thought..wowwwwww coollll, an official REPLY.

[iceyspots 0]

Nobody is interested in legal stuff anymore, it's just not fun and front page worthy... but yeah that was a real insensitive thing for him to say!

[jelti 0]

Print this out, highlight a couple of appropriate sentences, and leave it on his desk for him to find.

It's got the big eagle on it. Should shut him up.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...topic=11291&hl=

Hmm...I might just do that. Maybe I'll bring all our immigration papers to work one day, and "work" on some stuff so he can see. Then if he asks again, I'll show him everything.

************************

Thanks so much, everyone, for all your kind words. I'm feeling much better this morning, even though every time my boss says something to me, I wanna give him a piece of my mind, lol!

[Bunnyqr 0]

Let me tell you something that I have learned, there are so many people in this world that don't think before they speak. Not only that, they don't condsider what they are about to say and how that may affect the person they are saying it to. Especially when it involves a loved one. I have lived the NYC single life for 12 years (think Sex in the City). I have my big group of single girlfriends and we tell each other everything. Since Andreas and I met and up until now, I get all sorts of advice from them, good, bad, indifferent, and this is advice I don't even ask for, they just give it. They don't have any idea the stress that I am going through with 1. long distance 2. K-1 process 3. the waiting 4. the tears 5. wedding plans are on hold until he is here. It is all too much, highly sensitive and I think people should just listen and that's all. Unless they work for immigration or have been through the same process then they should share their story. Anything else, I have to let it go in one ear and out the other.

You are on a road that not everyone would take, or that many would have backed away from.

However, here, you can see all those that are on the same road and I am here with all the others to cheer you on. Love is where it is sent, and if that means it is miles away, wouldn't you do this all over again for your loved one?

There have been times where I have thought that this was all too much for me to handle, but then I think of my ancestors who sacrificed their lives, broke up their homes and families to start a new life in America. They saw the big picture, the future that their choices would affect us and make our lives so much better.

So I say to you, chin up, shoulders back and just know that we all are here going through the same, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Have patience and think of the big picture, you and your loved one together to share the rest of your life with. Now isn't that worth it???

[TracyTN 237]

You are on a road that not everyone would take, or that many would have backed away from.

That's for sure. Excellent way to put it, Bunnyqr.

Hang in there, jelti.

[JenT 0]

Great advice from everyone... so sorry that your 'already strained nerves' had to cope with such ignorance. I'm not getting as many questions about the imm process as I am being challenged by friends *and* family as to whether I'm doing the right thing... how can I know that this is the man I want to spend my life with when we only met 8 months ago, he lives on another continent, and only you've spent x number of days in each other's presence... Being put on the defensive about THAT is what moves me to tears and I'm tired of trying to explain it.

I'm 40 years old, been divorced for 4 years after 13 yrs of marriage, done the healing and the dating thing... and met the love of my life when I wasn't even looking. Actually, he found me. I know what I want. Who I want. And his name is David. He feels exactly the same way.

Anyone else have the same issue? What do you tell people? If only I had a snappy comeback. I can be pretty good with the one-liners when it's not something that affects me so personally... I don't want to be 'witty' about something that means so much to me... It may make sense to people after they hear the whole story, but there's often not enough time to share the whole thing... a lot gets lost in the 'abbreviated version'.

I feel sorry for these people in a way... perhaps they're jealous of the love we have that gives us the strength to cope with this process.

Not to take away from your post, Melissa, but perhaps your boss has some of the same feelings as my 'doubters' but the only way he can question you about your situation in a professional environment is by challenging the process. Challenging the process is very similar to challening the relationship....

Jen

(PS - I'm SO GLAD I found you guys!!!)

[nayalamb 0]

people can be really insensitive and ignorant about this. alot of times, maybe because america is so 'progressive', they don't believe that such processes are that hard. people at jig's job think that way. that i could just get on a plane, get a stamp and be all done with. AS IF! they are shocked when he tells them the things we've had to go through... then they ask him why he didn't just marry an american girl instead!!!!!!!!!

some people had it easy because they broke some of the rules, some just because they live in a city that processes quickly, some just had luck on their side. that doesn't mean that its a cake walk.

i wouldn't have much to say to that boss. he backed you into a corner and basically accused you of lying. you don't have anything to prove to anyone. if he wants to be a jerk, so be it. you could probably show him all the papers and cheques and letters and it still would not resonate. your word should have been enough.

[Ladylethal 12]

That wasn´t very cool of him.