Having a hard time with new fee increases

[martinbr 1]

I don't know if anyone else is going through this with the new fee increases and having a almost being at the poverty level for income. My income for 2007 came out to just about $35,000.00. I am barely just getting by here in California. That is not a lot of money to be living on.

To make things worse, I have a ex-wife who thought I shouldn't have gotten married again because of a 15 year old daughter that we have together. Just because she never remarried, she thought I should stay a single parent too to raise our daughter. She went back to court after I went over to the Philippines to get married and now is sucking half of my paycheck from where I work. She is now getting $800.00 for the kid for child and $600.00 for spousal support. Before this I was paying $560.00 per month for child support. So in reality I probably am not making half of that. I also have a supplemental job that gives me maybe about another $10,000. But it's a roofing gig and very seasonal. I could go a whole month without any work.

I know this is not a alt.support.divorce.forum or anything, but this is all tied into the fee increases which to be honest, I really don't know at this point if I am going to get my new wife even over here.

My daughter hasn't talked to me in 6 months. I am starting to wonder if I did the right thing by getting married in the first place. I love my new wife all my heart, but it is also causing me major grief on the other side. Before I got remarried, I was on my own for 4 yrs without seeing anyone. How long are you supposed to stay single? Until your child reaches 18 yrs old?

I love my daughter just like any parent does, but this is putting a major head trip on me. I have been in a state of depression over this. And my new wife can't help me with this. She is just barely getting by herself over in the Philippines.

So has anyone else gone through what I have been going through or did I just make a very stupid move here in my life?

thanks,

martinbr

Edited April 8, 2008 by martinbr

[Joe&Ghe 0]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

[RonMay 1]

im sorry to hear your situation. i was really wondering why there's such a thing as spousal support/alimony here in the US even one is already divorced/annulled much more one is already married to another person... my husband told me it is what it is here in the US (that i couldnt relate and think its a bit "unfair" in a way)... im not a therapist either so dont take my advise personally or professionally lol... , but i do think somehow your ex-wife talked to your daughter and putting words to her mouth and that makes herself isolate from you. like punishing you for what they think is right (kids sometimes doesnt understand till they feel it and experience it). your ex probably brainwashed or influenced her in a bad way... your ex just feel bitter because somehow you've found your own happiness and that you've moved on. we all deserve to be happy and that it doesnt mean we're abandoning our responsibility with our kids minor or not... a lot of couple here got married that has still minor kids to support. you're not alone... i truly hope you'll pass thru this especially with all this freakin fee increase that is so unbelievable compared before... its a tough time/economy this year... i dont know what way or steps for you to do and this is not a divorce-support-group-forum either lol... but guess what? who cares? we're all human and we're all going to hard times and that this forum is more than just a VISA forum i believe... people here will wish you luck and happiness in the end... i for one! so its ok to share your stories, problems and sentiments...

God bless!!!

[martinbr 1]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

How about if I have to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy? At this point I might not have any other option because of the money that is being taken out of my check by the ex. Would this affect my chances of getting my new wife over here?

[Joe&Ghe 0]

im sorry to hear your situation. i was really wondering why there's such a thing as spousal support/alimony here in the US even one is already divorced/annulled much more one is already married to another person... my husband told me it is what it is here in the US (that i couldnt relate and think its a bit "unfair" in a way)... im not a therapist either so dont take my advise personally or professionally lol... , but i do think somehow your ex-wife talked to your daughter and putting words to her mouth and that makes herself isolate from you. like punishing you for what they think is right (kids sometimes doesnt understand till they feel it and experience it). your ex probably brainwashed or influenced her in a bad way... your ex just feel bitter because somehow you've found your own happiness and that you've moved on. we all deserve to be happy and that it doesnt mean we're abandoning our responsibility with our kids minor or not... a lot of couple here got married that has still minor kids to support. you're not alone... i truly hope you'll pass thru this especially with all this freakin fee increase that is so unbelievable compared before... its a tough time/economy this year... i dont know what way or steps for you to do and this is not a divorce-support-group-forum either lol... but guess what? who cares? we're all human and we're all going to hard times and that this forum is more than just a VISA forum i believe... people here will wish you luck and happiness in the end... i for one! so its ok to share your stories, problems and sentiments...

God bless!!!

That's just how it is May, especially here in california..very strict..once your married, everything is 50-50. Even if your divorce, the ex that is making more money has to pay spousal support, which is ridiculous. I understand paying for a child support but not spousal support. I have co-workers who are paying spousal support & the ex-wives are using the money for their new BFs.. That's why most millionaires don't get married or they put up a PRE-NUP agreement before the wedding.

[Joe&Ghe 0]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

How about if I have to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy? At this point I might not have any other option because of the money that is being taken out of my check by the ex. Would this affect my chances of getting my new wife over here?

Am not an immigration or a tax lawyer..but yea that would definitely affect bringing your wife over here..Filing bankcruptcy will only make it difficult for you to bring your wife here in the US. You NEED TO PROVE you can support you wife. Filing chapter 11 isn't the answer, and a wrong option.

[martinbr 1]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

I am 56 yrs old. At that age you don't go asking family for help I am sorry to say. At that age your are supposed to be established have have it together. I am pretty much on my own here. And for my new wife, she has little to offer as far as financial help. But I knew that go into the marriage so I am not expecting anything from her.

I will figure it out somehow. I was just wondering if we had anyone else that has had a similar situation as mine.

martinbr

[martinbr 1]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

How about if I have to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy? At this point I might not have any other option because of the money that is being taken out of my check by the ex. Would this affect my chances of getting my new wife over here?

Am not an immigration or a tax lawyer..but yea that would definitely affect bringing your wife over here..Filing bankcruptcy will only make it difficult for you to bring your wife here in the US. You NEED TO PROVE you can support you wife. Filing chapter 11 isn't the answer, and a wrong option.

Well I guess I am pretty much screwed here then. I have been in a chapter 13 for the past 4 yrs. We almost have it payed off. I thought I read somewhere that bankruptcy's really don't matter that all they check is your tax forms. Anyone?

martinbr

[Boiler 45,402]

Its income, not debts.

But you might want to looks see how bankruptcy would impact our liabilities.

[Tsup2 0]

It doesnt matter if you have a bankruptcy, it is never considered in the visa process. If you get more than $2,500 behind in child support/alimony your passport can be revoked. Once your wife is here and gets her EAD she can contribute to your household income. My ex tried to rain on my parade too but you have to stay positive and do the best you can.

[hoosier 0]

You should consider that your wife will be able to work when she arrives there. Even the low end jobs in Cali. pay 10 to 15 bucks an hour and your living expenses likely will not go up by much.

Keep your head up, your daughter will at some point realize the BS her mother put into her head just for spite. Just be a good husband and father , show your daughter a good example of what a happy marriage can be like.

Good luck man.

[Michael and Lea 0]

Keep ur head up and it will all work out

[ez2007 1]

you're not alone. my fiance and i are going through the same experience. he was already divorced when i met him. he gave all that his ex wanted from the divorce and left with only his clothes and hunting equipment. he lives with his aging mom.

last year, when his ex learned that me and my kids would soon be there this year, she filed for an increase in child support (of their 2 boys) retroactive since last year plus for him to pay her lawyer's fees. she could just have called him to have a sit down and to talk about what she wanted. all the while, she was soooooo nice to him during thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve and every time he picked up the boys without giving a hint. he only learned of it upon receiving his copy of her petition on the mail this february.

she is starting to alienate the kids from him like going to other places when it's time for him to pick them up.

she and her lawyer, we think, are dragging the case to court. and we think also that she is financially dragging him down so that he will have child support arrearage of more than $5,000. if that happens, we don't know what we will do. i can't help him financially 'coz i'm also struggling. my sister will be shouldering the medical and interview expenses to ease the burden.

so hang in there. . . you're not alone . . .may we have speedy resolution on this journey

[jom 4]

Talking about child support and ex-wives, I do want to share my experince.

I was still in the Philippines when Joe and I were making our wedding plans and his brother Karl has mentioned that he read somewhere that the ex-wife can actually petition the court to ask for an increase child support when there is an additional income in his household ( referring to me when I will already be working ). Because of this, Karl told Joe to talk to me about a pre-nup to protect my "future income" from the "greedy" ex wife.

My husband pays his ex-wife $1,300.00 monthly for child support. Luckily, there was no alimony because his ex didn't work the whole period of their 5 years marriage. Joe's whole family was against him marrying her but because she was already pregnant, he thought it was the right thing to do.

My husband is not a rich man and I believe the monthly child support he gives is too much for a 6 and 7 year old kid ( he also pays for their medical, dental and vision insurances) but of course its more of an ex wife support because she uses it to pay for everything , from rent to her utility bills. From my experience, ex wives are bad news. I don't want to speak ill of any person but this one is just a character. She had already invented "stories" about me but her tactics didn't bother me at all knowing my husband trusts me to the bones. I also made pretty clear to her who she is dealing with. There was even a time that the 5 of us have to be in one car because she had no car at that time and Hunter wants to attend the Boyscout meeting so bad. Since we live like 2 miles away from each other and Hunter already knows how to make a call, he called his Dad. It was ackward but funny at the same time. Hunter introduced me to her as his last Mommy ( although at that time we already met)

Going back to the pre-nup issue, we consulted Joe's lawyer and there was no need to sign one. Whatever my future earnings will be is protected from her. The boys are just wonderful and they adore me. One good thing is that their Dad allowed them to chat with me before I arrived here, it was more of exchanging yahoo audibles, so now I dont really have a problem with them, they are very polite kids.

To the OP, hang in there. This too shall pass. There is always a solution somewhere. With everything going up, especially the gas price, most of us are surviving this financial set back.

Hopefully, your wife will be with you very soon.

Myla

[*JG* 2]

Can't you ask any of your family to help you out financially(to pay for fees etc.) to bring your wife to the US?

As for affidavit of support, 35k is above the poverty limit, so you don't need to worry. No need to divulge your personal business & how you use the money in your affidavit, all they want to see is whether you can prove to them (consul officer) that you made enough for the year.

How about if I have to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy? At this point I might not have any other option because of the money that is being taken out of my check by the ex. Would this affect my chances of getting my new wife over here?

Bankruptcy will not effect the support issues in any way. Still have to pay those.