So does it really suck when they get here or what?

[SaadBell 0]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

I think men networking together and having a few laughs about some of the things their wife’s do is harmless, and does relieve stress. Just because you complain, or make a negative statement toward your spouse doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Just like when my oldest became a teenager, I would network with other parents of teenagers, and complain, they complained to, and we also shared some laughs, and you know what I learned by that experience, I AM NOT ALONE.

I have never read anything on this forum that is even close to someone bashing their husband. To be honest, these women really love their husbands, and they expressed that on a daily basis. So as far as sharing private things, it is just all very positive and over flowing with romance. Believe me, nothing good, or even juicy, just plain old fashion love stories.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

You nailed that wonderfully, and I can attest to being thrown out after 23 years being a slave to a naval officer, with a bad drinking problem. Did I get everything from the Divorce, no, I walked out of my home, which I had built like I wanted, with the clothes on my back. Even the judge stated to my ex-husband, you are really lucky she doesn’t take you to the cleaners. So gold digger, I don’t think so. Do I think all American men are like my ex, of course not, I know that. I would have gone out with an American man if they would have asked me. They never did, so what can I say.

That being said, just relax and learn from others that have taken this journey before you and learn all you can.

[Imua 0]

I think any man who lets his wife support him is not much of a man. I think any man who abuses his wife or any other woman should be shot on the spot. I am only complaining about the women that are not treating their husbands the way they would like to be treated. Do unto others as you would like done to you. Be supportive to your husbands, it is going to be very hard on them coming here. Would each of you that have said something like "I am sick of having to talk slow" or something like that be willing to let your husband read what you have written here? One post said things not to say to your husband "I'm going to send you back"etc. Why is it ok for someone to say anything hurtful or mean to their spouse? It should not be acceptable for a woman or a man to say these kind of things to the person they love. Would a mother say to her children in the heat of the moment " I hate you and I wish you were dead" No that is horible and would hurt your child extremely but women get angry at their husbands and say these things but we are suppose to understand?

What century are we talking about Talbert? Welcome to the 21st. Some women work and some men take care of the house; and that does not make them any less "manly".

Thank you for beating me to it - don't criticize others' living situations until you know all the facts. As long as a guy is making an effort and doing the best with his own situation and what God has given him he is very much a man. There are many factors which can make it possible for a wife to be the main breadwinner either temporarily while the husband is job hunting or going to school or more permanently to raise the kids or if all he can get is a low-paying job - if the guy is sitting on his azz playing Xbox and drinking beer that is one thing but if if he is making an effort then he is 100% a man.

Edited April 9, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[Imua 0]

Maybe there are sweet humble hardworking American guys who aren't trying to be something they aren't but I haven't met any.

Absolutely there are! I think painting all American men with one brush is just as bad as doing it with American women, no?

Honestly I think a big part may be that I live in NYC - too many poseurs with big bank accounts and small hearts looking for 98lb. trophy wives with silicone boobs. In Hawaii(where I lived for 25 years) most of the guys are looking for Asians, both white and Asian guys. I don't drink and was never popular so was never into the club/bar scene... So what's a girl to do but look overseas???

[EgyptianLove 0]

Maybe there are sweet humble hardworking American guys who aren't trying to be something they aren't but I haven't met any.

Absolutely there are! I think painting all American men with one brush is just as bad as doing it with American women, no?

Honestly I think a big part may be that I live in NYC - too many poseurs with big bank accounts and small hearts looking for 98lb. trophy wives with silicone boobs. In Hawaii(where I lived for 25 years) most of the guys are looking for Asians, both white and Asian guys. I don't drink and was never popular so was never into the club/bar scene... So what's a girl to do but look overseas???

There's a lot of the US between NY and Hawaii.

[♥JP♥ 5]

[Imua 0]

Maybe there are sweet humble hardworking American guys who aren't trying to be something they aren't but I haven't met any.

Absolutely there are! I think painting all American men with one brush is just as bad as doing it with American women, no?

She is being honest and that is good. American men have been told there job is to work hard and provide for their families. The better we do this the more we are told we are doing a good job.

She has stated that she only wants a man to be humble and that will love her, nothing else. Please be sure to tell your husband all of this before he can become "Americanized"

I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not - if he is sweet and humble but just wants to sit on his azz all day then no that is not acceptable but I don't expect him to be 'Mr. Bigshot Protector' either and won't come down on him if he isn't able to provide me with a life of luxury. He is working very hard now learning new skills and doing an apprenticeship - even if he is not earning money now he isn't sitting at the cybercafe all day, he is doing his best under the circumstances in an extremely poor country and that is all I expect, either in Nepal or in the USA. The economy is getting worse and for years now it has been harder and harder for even a family with two average incomes to make it. Some guys wonder why women have 'princess complexes' and become 'gold diggers' - it is because men(in NYC anyway) come on talking about their fancy jobs, investments, cars, etc. before a woman can even really figure out whether he is worth knowing beyond the bling. It is a huge turnoff for me(and being brutally honest I know a guy like this would never be happy with a woman like me...). I love Govi for who he is, how he treats his family and for his values. If he does become very successful then of course I would be very happy but as long as he works as hard as I do I don't care if the only job he can get is at a bodega or gas station - we are partners.

[Jenn! 918]

Maybe there are sweet humble hardworking American guys who aren't trying to be something they aren't but I haven't met any.

Absolutely there are! I think painting all American men with one brush is just as bad as doing it with American women, no?

Honestly I think a big part may be that I live in NYC - too many poseurs with big bank accounts and small hearts looking for 98lb. trophy wives with silicone boobs. In Hawaii(where I lived for 25 years) most of the guys are looking for Asians, both white and Asian guys. I don't drink and was never popular so was never into the club/bar scene... So what's a girl to do but look overseas???

Umm, so why didn't you just lose some weight and get a ####### job?

Seriously though, I am all too familiar with the type of which you speak. They piss me right off! But it's not just the men, it's the women too. Have you seen The Real Housewives of NYC?

[Imua 0]

Maybe there are sweet humble hardworking American guys who aren't trying to be something they aren't but I haven't met any.

Absolutely there are! I think painting all American men with one brush is just as bad as doing it with American women, no?

Honestly I think a big part may be that I live in NYC - too many poseurs with big bank accounts and small hearts looking for 98lb. trophy wives with silicone boobs. In Hawaii(where I lived for 25 years) most of the guys are looking for Asians, both white and Asian guys. I don't drink and was never popular so was never into the club/bar scene... So what's a girl to do but look overseas???

Umm, so why didn't you just lose some weight and get a ####### job?

Seriously though, I am all too familiar with the type of which you speak. They piss me right off! But it's not just the men, it's the women too. Have you seen The Real Housewives of NYC?

Ugh, yes - disgusting. I see women like that every day - I work on the Upper East Side. I also lurk on the urbanbaby.com message board sometimes - more of the same, women who married investment bankers for the money and now spend their time figuring out what color Birkin bag they want and how to avoid sex with their husbands. I'd rather be poor married to a guy I actually want to have sex with... Besides, most of those designer bags are ugly...

Edited April 9, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[SaadBell 0]

Have you seen Priscilla Presley, omg, her face is so unnaturally. Have you also notice on TV sitcoms, for example, I watch “Still Standing,” and the husband is this kinda normal looking dude, not so hot looking, kinda dumb, but his wife, HOLY ####, she is this beautiful hottie. It is the American culture, men can age and be hot, but a women needs to keep that 20 year old face at all possible and of course her shape. You grow up watching this ####### on TV daily, what is beautiful in our culture and what is not, you really can’t blame the men, and women who throw up their dinner secretly. Wish I knew the answer.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Ugh, yes - disgusting. I see women like that every day - I work on the Upper East Side. I also lurk on the urbanbaby.com message board sometimes - more of the same, women who married investment bankers for the money and now spend their time figuring out what color Birkin bag they want and how to avoid sex with their husbands. I'd rather be poor married to a guy I actually want to have sex with... Besides, most of those designer bags are ugly...

I'm sure the husbands might catch up on this one and go get it elsewhere....

[Imua 0]

Ugh, yes - disgusting. I see women like that every day - I work on the Upper East Side. I also lurk on the urbanbaby.com message board sometimes - more of the same, women who married investment bankers for the money and now spend their time figuring out what color Birkin bag they want and how to avoid sex with their husbands. I'd rather be poor married to a guy I actually want to have sex with... Besides, most of those designer bags are ugly...

I'm sure the husbands might catch up on this one and go get it elsewhere....

Yep - according to that site there is a lot of fooling around on the side - they have tons of money but I wouldn't want that life.

[Imua 0]

Have you seen Priscilla Presley, omg, her face is so unnaturally. Have you also notice on TV sitcoms, for example, I watch “Still Standing,” and the husband is this kinda normal looking dude, not so hot looking, kinda dumb, but his wife, HOLY ####, she is this beautiful hottie. It is the American culture, men can age and be hot, but a women needs to keep that 20 year old face at all possible and of course her shape. You grow up watching this ####### on TV daily, what is beautiful in our culture and what is not, you really can’t blame the men, and women who throw up their dinner secretly. Wish I knew the answer.

Yeah, even cartoons - Homer is obese, Marge is thin, Fred is obese, Wilma is thin...

Men don't appreciate how hard it is for a woman to stay thin... I went on one of those BMR calculator sites and it said for a 40 year old woman with a sedentary lifestyle who is 5'3" and 110 lbs.(my ideal weight) it takes only about 1300-1400 calories daily to maintain that weight... you eat more than that and you gain unless you go to the gym every day... in order to keep your weight that low you have to be obsessed with food and exercise and you are cranky all the time... Men just don't know how hard it is, they can cut out soda or chips and lose weight, but for us it has to be an obsession and then they say 'I don't like a woman who goes out to eat and orders a salad with no dressing.' - they love us to cook for them but expect us not to eat the food we make???

Wow this thread has drifted....

[Jenn! 918]

Wow this thread has drifted....

MENA men suck ----> American men suck ----> men suck

[doodlebugg 10]

I personally like American men. If I could have found one that clicked with me and made my heart dance it would have made my life alot easier than falling in love with someone far away. I think women in general want to have the best things in life. Some of us just found it faster than others. Some of us got screwed over and then are looking for the pony under a pile of ####. Some of us just give up and eat ice cream. Some of us buy 29 cats. But for Talbert, if you think ALL AMERICAN women have had a gravy train being married to American men, you are SADLY mistaken. Being an American woman is hard as hell because along with the freedom comes a boat load of responsibility and society's attitudes with puts even more pressure on us. We have to listen to AMERICAN MEN say we are not submissive enough yet we have to work like hell in this society to put food on the table, get paid less than men,many American women have to not only juggle our lives but we have to care for elderly parents and family in a society that does not value older people. We consistantly earn less over our lifetimes then men because we are usually the primary care givers. Then I read threads from men raised by American men bashing us all over the place. The reality is that we dont get the breaks that alot of these foreign wives . We got alot of the American men when they got out of the school or army or whatever and hadnt established themselves enough to wonder if we submitted or not. We were too busy struggling along side the men, trying to build a life. Its the trophy wife syndrome. The american women are the workhorses and when hubby decides hes made it, he s all of the sudden looking at her body , who shes become and he did nothing to shelter her from aging and stress and then all of the sudden pronounces her bitter. Well if you are some woman who shouldered all the bills and were never treated well and built some guys life up and his career and stepped all over your dreams for him to get his and all of the sudden you are being compared to some girl in a 3rd world country who has very little to do other than do her hair and sit at home and doesnt live in the western dog eat dog world, it does become enraging. I understand why American women get a case of the ### with american men. If we dont work hard, we are lazy. If we work too hard we are bitchy and dont care about our men. It sure is hell sometimes to be an American woman. And I will be damned if some man who was suckled at the breast of a hard working american woman is going to bash the women that built this country that he is bringing his new wife too... I have too much respect for other women, American and other wise to allow that.

Just my two cents

Sorry I am hormonal/// if I offend anyone

[doodlebugg 10]