So does it really suck when they get here or what?

[Minya's wife 24]

I do have feelings for my ex, it is hate. She is evil. I am only asking an honest question here, I am curious why the difference. I give my wife everything she wants. I would give my life for my my wife, the difference I see is that she does not take advantage of me.

Like I said before, I don't dwell on it. I only brought it up to see why the differences. I don't feel anything for my ex, not even hate. I do feel dissapointment because of the damage she has done to my son.

Umm...so which is it then? Make up your mind already and stop derailing this thread.

-P

Edited April 9, 2008 by Paula&Minya

[doodlebugg 10]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

I would love insite from the men who have been here for a while.

I do have feelings for my ex, it is hate. She is evil. I am only asking an honest question here, I am curious why the difference. I give my wife everything she wants. I would give my life for my my wife, the difference I see is that she does not take advantage of me.

Like I said before, I don't dwell on it. I only brought it up to see why the differences. I don't feel anything for my ex, not even hate. I do feel dissapointment because of the damage she has done to my son.

Umm...so which is it then? Make up your mind already and stop derailing this thread.

-P

no kiddin' this aint the "counsel talbert" thread.

[ya falaha! 0]

The thread is not called "what pisses me off about my "Arab" husband". It's about adjustment issues not issues with Arab men specifically. It just so happens that the OP has an Arab husband. Most of the complaints haven't been culture specific.

I'm sure the men have plenty of complaints about what sucks when they get here. They're just not as vocal on VJ as we are.

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

[morocco4ever 63]

The thread is not called "what pisses me off about my "Arab" husband". It's about adjustment issues not issues with Arab men specifically. It just so happens that the OP has an Arab husband. Most of the complaints haven't been culture specific.

I'm sure the men have plenty of complaints about what sucks when they get here. They're just not as vocal on VJ as we are.

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

I know for a fact that the women that come here have a hard time of adjusting. My brother married a Filipino woman and she was terribly homesick and sad for a long time. She is a very sweet lady, but my brother and I had a falling out over my fathers sickness and eventual death, so we don't speak any more. I hope she has adjusted now.

[♥JP♥ 5]

For the record, I have seen plenty of threads on VJ made by men about their foreign wives. This is not an usual subject to discuss on VJ.

[Nasturtium 500]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

Well, no one has started a thread about what pisses them off about their Arab spouse, nor is anyone even venting about that. I suggest you re-read.

I'd actually love to know what sucks the most for the Arab husbands who come over here. Then we could either be better prepared or try to minimize their transitions. Marriage and love are about compromise and working together, and that includes figuring out what sucks for the other person and trying to help. I doubt I am alone in wishing we knew that ahead of time.

[Nagishkaw 510]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

Well, no one has started a thread about what pisses them off about their Arab spouse, nor is anyone even venting about that. I suggest you re-read.

I'd actually love to know what sucks the most for the Arab husbands who come over here. Then we could either be better prepared or try to minimize their transitions. Marriage and love are about compromise and working together, and that includes figuring out what sucks for the other person and trying to help. I doubt I am alone in wishing we knew that ahead of time.

Nope, you are not alone.

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

Care to pass me some of that popcorn, Charles?

sure. i've been on another computer so i'm just now catching up.

[Nasturtium 500]

Nope, you are not alone.

I think a lot of us ask around and try to figure out where the hitches were (like this thread), and then from that added to our personal knowledge of the individual involved... we try to guess and prepare for what we think MAY happen. Sometimes we're right, sometimes we're wrong. Lotsof us try to focus on re-creating a "home" for the individual on the get-go, although some of that just cannot be done-- especially when they are moving into an established household with almost nothing of their own. I would think that is one thing that kind of sucks for some people, but it may not matter to others. Some individuals may prefer to try to "build something together" and others probably would love to be in charge of building their own Also I think lots of time moving to a new country you'll tend to catch a couple of colds or get kind of sick from a change in environment/viruses/bacteria/etc. That probably sucks I got that advice from a friend, and so I had stocked up on some cold medicines and OTC stuff of all kinds, just in case.

[~Jackie~ 30]

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Gary,

Hate for an ex is love that has disappointed you. You need some counseling. I don't hate my ex, I don't love him, I have no feelings because I don't care any more. I have moved on to greener pastures.

If my husband spent this much time dwelling on his ex I would get so freaking sick of it that it would eventually lead to problems. Can't you move on????

I have moved on and I never talk about her, I only brought her up because I am curious why the difference in women from other cultures.

First let me clue you into something. Many women from other cultures do dastardly things to American Men. Take a hop skip and a stroll over to some of the other threads and you will see South American , Russian, Chinese you name it taking American men for greencard rides up and down the street. I personally have watched several south American women in the area that I live in in Florida make a laughing stock of their American husbands. Its not about culture. Its about UPBRINGING and to catagorize all American women as bad because you got taken for a ride is horrible. You are painting all women from MEXICO as saintlike and great moms and that just is not the case. You could have just as easily ended up with a former prostitute who stole all your money and waited out her AOS period and latered you.

I watch these threads started by these men that somehow think all RUSSIANS are saints. I got to the point that I just pointed out that most of the prostitutes working in UAE . Abu Dhabi and Dubai are from the FSU. The problem with prostitution of the FSU countries has become so severe that you really do not know WHAT or WHO you are marrying when you marry a woman from a foreign country. At least with an American you can run a background check. Can you do that with a foreign wife? Do you really know where she has been all the years before you knew her...The same thing stands with South America and Mexico. Do you really know the woman you marry as well as you could know an American? Just wondering.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

Sorry mena girls if my post offends anyone...

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Gary,

Hate for an ex is love that has disappointed you. You need some counseling. I don't hate my ex, I don't love him, I have no feelings because I don't care any more. I have moved on to greener pastures.

If my husband spent this much time dwelling on his ex I would get so freaking sick of it that it would eventually lead to problems. Can't you move on????

I have moved on and I never talk about her, I only brought her up because I am curious why the difference in women from other cultures.

First let me clue you into something. Many women from other cultures do dastardly things to American Men. Take a hop skip and a stroll over to some of the other threads and you will see South American , Russian, Chinese you name it taking American men for greencard rides up and down the street. I personally have watched several south American women in the area that I live in in Florida make a laughing stock of their American husbands. Its not about culture. Its about UPBRINGING and to catagorize all American women as bad because you got taken for a ride is horrible. You are painting all women from MEXICO as saintlike and great moms and that just is not the case. You could have just as easily ended up with a former prostitute who stole all your money and waited out her AOS period and latered you.

I watch these threads started by these men that somehow think all RUSSIANS are saints. I got to the point that I just pointed out that most of the prostitutes working in UAE . Abu Dhabi and Dubai are from the FSU. The problem with prostitution of the FSU countries has become so severe that you really do not know WHAT or WHO you are marrying when you marry a woman from a foreign country. At least with an American you can run a background check. Can you do that with a foreign wife? Do you really know where she has been all the years before you knew her...The same thing stands with South America and Mexico. Do you really know the woman you marry as well as you could know an American? Just wondering.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

Sorry mena girls if my post offends anyone...

I like honest answers. That is all I asked.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Nope, you are not alone.

I think a lot of us ask around and try to figure out where the hitches were (like this thread), and then from that added to our personal knowledge of the individual involved... we try to guess and prepare for what we think MAY happen. Sometimes we're right, sometimes we're wrong. Lotsof us try to focus on re-creating a "home" for the individual on the get-go, although some of that just cannot be done-- especially when they are moving into an established household with almost nothing of their own. I would think that is one thing that kind of sucks for some people, but it may not matter to others. Some individuals may prefer to try to "build something together" and others probably would love to be in charge of building their own Also I think lots of time moving to a new country you'll tend to catch a couple of colds or get kind of sick from a change in environment/viruses/bacteria/etc. That probably sucks I got that advice from a friend, and so I had stocked up on some cold medicines and OTC stuff of all kinds, just in case.

Julianna, you seem very nice and you are not complaining but pointing out difficulties.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

Well, no one has started a thread about what pisses them off about their Arab spouse, nor is anyone even venting about that. I suggest you re-read.

I'd actually love to know what sucks the most for the Arab husbands who come over here. Then we could either be better prepared or try to minimize their transitions. Marriage and love are about compromise and working together, and that includes figuring out what sucks for the other person and trying to help. I doubt I am alone in wishing we knew that ahead of time.

Nope, you are not alone.

I did read the thread all the way through and several women did say this is what makes me angry or bothers me. I thought the thread would point out what the difficulties were on the guys when they got here and had to adjust, not what bothered the wives.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Gary,

Hate for an ex is love that has disappointed you. You need some counseling. I don't hate my ex, I don't love him, I have no feelings because I don't care any more. I have moved on to greener pastures.

If my husband spent this much time dwelling on his ex I would get so freaking sick of it that it would eventually lead to problems. Can't you move on????

I have moved on and I never talk about her, I only brought her up because I am curious why the difference in women from other cultures.

First let me clue you into something. Many women from other cultures do dastardly things to American Men. Take a hop skip and a stroll over to some of the other threads and you will see South American , Russian, Chinese you name it taking American men for greencard rides up and down the street. I personally have watched several south American women in the area that I live in in Florida make a laughing stock of their American husbands. Its not about culture. Its about UPBRINGING and to catagorize all American women as bad because you got taken for a ride is horrible. You are painting all women from MEXICO as saintlike and great moms and that just is not the case. You could have just as easily ended up with a former prostitute who stole all your money and waited out her AOS period and latered you.

I watch these threads started by these men that somehow think all RUSSIANS are saints. I got to the point that I just pointed out that most of the prostitutes working in UAE . Abu Dhabi and Dubai are from the FSU. The problem with prostitution of the FSU countries has become so severe that you really do not know WHAT or WHO you are marrying when you marry a woman from a foreign country. At least with an American you can run a background check. Can you do that with a foreign wife? Do you really know where she has been all the years before you knew her...The same thing stands with South America and Mexico. Do you really know the woman you marry as well as you could know an American? Just wondering.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

Sorry mena girls if my post offends anyone...

I like honest answers. That is all I asked.

Well Galby,

I think if I would have met an American in the last 4 years that moved my heart, I would have married him. My husband is NOT WITHOUT FAULTS and I get mad at him and we have issues like anyone else. Culture plays a big role. I remember he told me a long drawn story about how his brother was taking advantage of him and did this that and this and that and I told him to tell his brother to shut up. He said WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT? THIS IS MY BROTHER. DO NOT TELL MY BROTHER TO SHUT UP. I said I didnt tell your brother to shut up. Then it launched into a whole story about how I would eventually tell his grandmother to shut up and on and on. And I know if I was dealing with an American this would have never become an issue because we would not have had the culture or language barrier to begin with. I have to sometimes watch what I say carefully because to even use the words SHUT UP is a hugggggggggggge story.

But there are other things. Everytime we ate breakfast and he got there before me, he got all my little rolls ready and poured juice for me and got things ready for me. I could not for the life of me ever remember any american man going somewhere before me and getting things ready for me. He also has bought me shoes ( without me asking) and had clothes tailored for me ( linen by a tailor) I never had an American man ever go buy me shoes or clothes or look out for me or worry if I wasnt at home on time . For all his faults , and yes my husband has tons of them, there are some things that have helped me overlook everything that drives me crazy. How upset he gets about his mom..How emotional his whole family is... just who he is...

Everyone has their story Talbert ... sometimes we just have to go down alot of roads to find the ending.. and thank god your american was a mess... you would have never found true love.. You should hope that she finds someone who loves her.. I am sure that would straighten her up...love changes things...