So does it really suck when they get here or what?

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I would like to point out that I have custody of my 14 year old son from my previous marriage and he has type I diabetes. I do not receive child support and she refuses to even help with the medical bills. My son loves my wife now and thinks of her as his mother. We have a six month old baby and and my son loves him like he was 100% brother. He doesn't even like to call his real mom. The only time his real mom sees him is if I make him go, she never makes the effort to come see him.

And your point of telling is this is??

just a little background so that women don't think I don't understand thier side of things. It isn't just mothers that have to deal with being a single parent and having to work and put up with a deadbeat parent.

[morocco4ever 63]

I would like to point out that I have custody of my 14 year old son from my previous marriage and he has type I diabetes. I do not receive child support and she refuses to even help with the medical bills. My son loves my wife now and thinks of her as his mother. We have a six month old baby and and my son loves him like he was 100% brother. He doesn't even like to call his real mom. The only time his real mom sees him is if I make him go, she never makes the effort to come see him.

And your point of telling is this is??

just a little background so that women don't think I don't understand thier side of things. It isn't just mothers that have to deal with being a single parent and having to work and put up with a deadbeat parent.

My ex was a deadbeat parent too. I prefer to dwell on what I have now, a kind loving sweet husband rather than waste my time, energy and emotion on hate. Love feels so much better than hate.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I know I will get slaughtered for saying this but why aren't there any threads from men complaining about their foreign wives? My point is we don't complain. And I don't see too many foreign brides complaining about their US husband except some in the Canadian threads but Canada is too much like the US I guess. OK am am ready to be told how terrible I am now and let me appologize upfront.

Most American men don't bother to check and see how their wife is feeling. My ex, who is American, told me once not to bother him with my feelings, he didn't have time. Not that I am saying that is similar to you, but lets face it, only foreign husbands are good enough for us.

(I hope everyone is catching sarcasm)

My point exactly. People look to other cultures for a spouse because they don't like what they have experienced here in the US. We all have horror stories about relationships with people from our same culture and this is what compelled us to look elsewhere.

[sara535 15]

Again, I dont see this thread as 'bashing' our husbands nor as 'whining'. No matter what culture or country our VJ significant other comes from we all know that adjustment is hard. and there ARE some adjustment issues that are more region and culture specific. I guess I just dont think that sharing our experiences so that other people can learn a little is bashing. My husband is here for 3 and a half years now so yes, I think I can offer some insight into 'stumbling blocks' we encountered and maybe give a heads up to the people still waiting to get to that point. How is that whining and bitching?

ETA: I didnt 'look' for an overseas spouse. I met someone and fell in love.

Edited April 9, 2008 by sara535

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I would like to point out that I have custody of my 14 year old son from my previous marriage and he has type I diabetes. I do not receive child support and she refuses to even help with the medical bills. My son loves my wife now and thinks of her as his mother. We have a six month old baby and and my son loves him like he was 100% brother. He doesn't even like to call his real mom. The only time his real mom sees him is if I make him go, she never makes the effort to come see him.

And your point of telling is this is??

just a little background so that women don't think I don't understand thier side of things. It isn't just mothers that have to deal with being a single parent and having to work and put up with a deadbeat parent.

My ex was a deadbeat parent too. I prefer to dwell on what I have now, a kind loving sweet husband rather than waste my time, energy and emotion on hate. Love feels so much better than hate.

Like I said before, I don't dwell on it. I only brought it up to see why the differences. I don't feel anything for my ex, not even hate. I do feel dissapointment because of the damage she has done to my son.

[ya falaha! 0]

It's a difference in women not the culture in which the woman was brought up in.

Have you only had the one romantic experience with American women? Do you have an American mother? Was she awful too? Are all American women you've dealt with a nightmare?

Be thankful that you really don't have to deal with your ex. She has basically signed your son over to you. That's a blessing. You could be in court fighting over custody. IMO your son is more valuable than any money she can give you.

[morocco4ever 63]

I know I will get slaughtered for saying this but why aren't there any threads from men complaining about their foreign wives? My point is we don't complain. And I don't see too many foreign brides complaining about their US husband except some in the Canadian threads but Canada is too much like the US I guess. OK am am ready to be told how terrible I am now and let me appologize upfront.

Most American men don't bother to check and see how their wife is feeling. My ex, who is American, told me once not to bother him with my feelings, he didn't have time. Not that I am saying that is similar to you, but lets face it, only foreign husbands are good enough for us.

(I hope everyone is catching sarcasm)

My point exactly. People look to other cultures for a spouse because they don't like what they have experienced here in the US. We all have horror stories about relationships with people from our same culture and this is what compelled us to look elsewhere.

I would like to point out that I have custody of my 14 year old son from my previous marriage and he has type I diabetes. I do not receive child support and she refuses to even help with the medical bills. My son loves my wife now and thinks of her as his mother. We have a six month old baby and and my son loves him like he was 100% brother. He doesn't even like to call his real mom. The only time his real mom sees him is if I make him go, she never makes the effort to come see him.

And your point of telling is this is??

just a little background so that women don't think I don't understand thier side of things. It isn't just mothers that have to deal with being a single parent and having to work and put up with a deadbeat parent.

My ex was a deadbeat parent too. I prefer to dwell on what I have now, a kind loving sweet husband rather than waste my time, energy and emotion on hate. Love feels so much better than hate.

Like I said before, I don't dwell on it. I only brought it up to see why the differences. I don't feel anything for my ex, not even hate. I do feel dissapointment because of the damage she has done to my son.

Gary you don't understand. I, and many other women here did not purposely go out to different cultures because we had a bad experience with one of our own. It just happened. You stated earlier on this thread that you hate your ex and now you say you don't feel anything, not even hate. I also have children that have been badly damaged by my ex.

I think you are a good guy that has been hurt. I am so sorry about that. It happens to many people. It's not fair and it's not right, but in the end they will have to be the one facing God to explain why they did what they did.

I hope you don't rehash your marriage with your wife and son, that would cause damage as well.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

It's a difference in women not the culture in which the woman was brought up in.

Have you only had the one romantic experience with American women? Do you have an American mother? Was she awful too? Are all American women you've dealt with a nightmare?

Be thankful that you really don't have to deal with your ex. She has basically signed your son over to you. That's a blessing. You could be in court fighting over custody. IMO your son is more valuable than any money she can give you.

My American mother is wonderful! My wife now is alot like her in that family comes first, love your husband and take care of him. I have had many relationships with American women before my ex but after her I was alone for 10 years and didn't date. My ex threatens me all the time she is going to take him away. She tells my son that i will ignore him now that I am married again, she said that we would put him second to our new baby. She constantly trys to poison him against us. I do have a daughter with her also who she would not give me custody. She did send her to live with me just before I got married hoping that two kids would scare my wife away but my wife loves them the same as if they were her own. My ex took my daughter back when she saw that my wife was so good with the children. I get my daughter every other weekend and all holidays and vacations. I PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT for my daughter. My daughter would do anything to be with me but my ex told her it would be over her dead body before she would give up her to me. The big mistake I made was that when I got my daughter just before I got married I didn't sue for custody then. My wife wishes I did and wants me to hire a lawyer to get custody. She agrees my ex is el diablo

[Nasturtium 500]

My point exactly. People look to other cultures for a spouse because they don't like what they have experienced here in the US. We all have horror stories about relationships with people from our same culture and this is what compelled us to look elsewhere.

1. Sharing possible cultural hang-ups is not b*tching or whining or degrading the other person. It is far more likely for epople within a similar language and culture group to share similar experiences as well. This is probably why Bridget didn't go post this in the Euro forum. As to why it's women and their husbands, most people on here are women. So unless any of us women managed to get a wife and bring her over, I seriously doubt you'll hear a lot about what foreign wives do in here.

2. Some of us actually weren't looking for a foreign (or any) spouse. Some of us did kind of a normal thing like meet at work or through mutual friends. Imagine that! Meeting in real life, falling in love the normal way, then getting married. Crazy.

3. When you said American women had cut the b*lls off of American men, does that include yourself as lacking these items? And your mother (as a remover of these items) if she's American? You shouldn't make generalizations like that (with all or an understood all) unless you really think it applies to every single person in and from the USA. Not only is it not nice or considered mannered behavior, it is also untrue if you can find even one person in the population who does not conform to your statement.

4. As general decorum, it is considered best to not speak repeatedly about your past relationships, personal legal business, and children in public to strangers, especially in a negative light. People can and sometimes will use this kind of information against you later. Moody is right, and you should be glad you have your son. And yep-- it's because Xwife is a ####### End of story.

Edited April 9, 2008 by julianna

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I know I will get slaughtered for saying this but why aren't there any threads from men complaining about their foreign wives? My point is we don't complain. And I don't see too many foreign brides complaining about their US husband except some in the Canadian threads but Canada is too much like the US I guess. OK am am ready to be told how terrible I am now and let me appologize upfront.

Most American men don't bother to check and see how their wife is feeling. My ex, who is American, told me once not to bother him with my feelings, he didn't have time. Not that I am saying that is similar to you, but lets face it, only foreign husbands are good enough for us.

(I hope everyone is catching sarcasm)

My point exactly. People look to other cultures for a spouse because they don't like what they have experienced here in the US. We all have horror stories about relationships with people from our same culture and this is what compelled us to look elsewhere.

I would like to point out that I have custody of my 14 year old son from my previous marriage and he has type I diabetes. I do not receive child support and she refuses to even help with the medical bills. My son loves my wife now and thinks of her as his mother. We have a six month old baby and and my son loves him like he was 100% brother. He doesn't even like to call his real mom. The only time his real mom sees him is if I make him go, she never makes the effort to come see him.

And your point of telling is this is??

just a little background so that women don't think I don't understand thier side of things. It isn't just mothers that have to deal with being a single parent and having to work and put up with a deadbeat parent.

My ex was a deadbeat parent too. I prefer to dwell on what I have now, a kind loving sweet husband rather than waste my time, energy and emotion on hate. Love feels so much better than hate.

Like I said before, I don't dwell on it. I only brought it up to see why the differences. I don't feel anything for my ex, not even hate. I do feel dissapointment because of the damage she has done to my son.

Gary you don't understand. I, and many other women here did not purposely go out to different cultures because we had a bad experience with one of our own. It just happened. You stated earlier on this thread that you hate your ex and now you say you don't feel anything, not even hate. I also have children that have been badly damaged by my ex.

I think you are a good guy that has been hurt. I am so sorry about that. It happens to many people. It's not fair and it's not right, but in the end they will have to be the one facing God to explain why they did what they did.

I hope you don't rehash your marriage with your wife and son, that would cause damage as well.

You seem like a good person. I only used the word hate in an earlier post for the effect. My ex does try to cause problems but my wife is a Saint and understands that my ex is EVIL lol. We dont discuss my ex except when dealing with matters that have to do with the children. My son who is 14 loves his baby brother and said if anything ever happened to us that he would take care of his baby brother but we NEVER want his exposed to my ex so we have to consider this if something were to ever happen to us.

[ya falaha! 0]

I guess I can understand hard feelings but it's not because she's American. It's because she's a #######. God makes those in every country.

It's a difference in women not the culture in which the woman was brought up in.

Have you only had the one romantic experience with American women? Do you have an American mother? Was she awful too? Are all American women you've dealt with a nightmare?

Be thankful that you really don't have to deal with your ex. She has basically signed your son over to you. That's a blessing. You could be in court fighting over custody. IMO your son is more valuable than any money she can give you.

My American mother is wonderful! My wife now is alot like her in that family comes first, love your husband and take care of him. I have had many relationships with American women before my ex but after her I was alone for 10 years and didn't date. My ex threatens me all the time she is going to take him away. She tells my son that i will ignore him now that I am married again, she said that we would put him second to our new baby. She constantly trys to poison him against us. I do have a daughter with her also who she would not give me custody. She did send her to live with me just before I got married hoping that two kids would scare my wife away but my wife loves them the same as if they were her own. My ex took my daughter back when she saw that my wife was so good with the children. I get my daughter every other weekend and all holidays and vacations. I PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT for my daughter. My daughter would do anything to be with me but my ex told her it would be over her dead body before she would give up her to me. The big mistake I made was that when I got my daughter just before I got married I didn't sue for custody then. My wife wishes I did and wants me to hire a lawyer to get custody. She agrees my ex is el diablo

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I guess I can understand hard feelings but it's not because she's American. It's because she's a #######. God makes those in every country.

It's a difference in women not the culture in which the woman was brought up in.

Have you only had the one romantic experience with American women? Do you have an American mother? Was she awful too? Are all American women you've dealt with a nightmare?

Be thankful that you really don't have to deal with your ex. She has basically signed your son over to you. That's a blessing. You could be in court fighting over custody. IMO your son is more valuable than any money she can give you.

My American mother is wonderful! My wife now is alot like her in that family comes first, love your husband and take care of him. I have had many relationships with American women before my ex but after her I was alone for 10 years and didn't date. My ex threatens me all the time she is going to take him away. She tells my son that i will ignore him now that I am married again, she said that we would put him second to our new baby. She constantly trys to poison him against us. I do have a daughter with her also who she would not give me custody. She did send her to live with me just before I got married hoping that two kids would scare my wife away but my wife loves them the same as if they were her own. My ex took my daughter back when she saw that my wife was so good with the children. I get my daughter every other weekend and all holidays and vacations. I PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT for my daughter. My daughter would do anything to be with me but my ex told her it would be over her dead body before she would give up her to me. The big mistake I made was that when I got my daughter just before I got married I didn't sue for custody then. My wife wishes I did and wants me to hire a lawyer to get custody. She agrees my ex is el diablo

Thank you for not attacking me. I was only trying to see if I could get some honest answers here from women. I know there are plenty of good and bad women in all cultures. I was hoping for some honest answers so I mike understand women better. It is difficult when you give 100 % and you are given nothing. Maybe I can learn and be better.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

How would you women feel if your husbands started a thread "What sucks when I get here" and this is what pisses me off with my American wife?

[morocco4ever 63]

Perhaps we should have a "Trash the ex" thread. lol I do have to admit that we all need a place to vent rather than take it to the people we are closest too.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

It's a difference in women not the culture in which the woman was brought up in.

Have you only had the one romantic experience with American women? Do you have an American mother? Was she awful too? Are all American women you've dealt with a nightmare?

Be thankful that you really don't have to deal with your ex. She has basically signed your son over to you. That's a blessing. You could be in court fighting over custody. IMO your son is more valuable than any money she can give you.

And just for the record (like Sara) I didn't go "looking" for a foreign spouse either. Nor did I fall in love with a foreign man because I "didn't like what I'd experienced here in the US."

Perceptions are always fascinating.