My end of the road...

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Hi guys! Good luck to those who are having their interview this month or next month. Im so happy for you and wish you all the best. Unfortunaely, I won't be joining the list. Something happened two weeks ago. And right now, Im going through severe depression right now to the point of getting sick.

Two weeks ago I ordered CENOMAR eventhough my marriage is already annulled because it was a requirement for the interview. I got the shock of my life when my CENOMAR came... there in the paper, it states that I am married to two men. One in year 1999 and the other in the year of 2o02. It was a shock because I never got married in 1999. I know the person indicated there. He was my ex-fiancee. I was engaged to him when I was 24 years old but I called it off for a lot of reasons. I remember signing papers but I know it was just a marriage license. Anyway, it was a bad break up. I remember him telling me that nobody can have me because he has connections to city hall and he will submit all the papers I signed and make it appear that we got married. I did not take his threat seriously. Then came the time that I met someone and got married. And then this ex stopped bugging me. The marriage didn't last. We got separated year 2006 and annulled year 2007. Last March 2007, I met someone and he is the reason why I am in K1.

I looked for my ex over the weekend so he could shed some light about this fake paper. He is already somewhere in the US so I can not sue him. My lawyer is filing a petition to declare this marriage null and void in the ground of fraud. Although we have a lot of evidences, it will still take some time for the judge (3 months) to make the decision. My next step was to call our lawyer in the US and again I was devastated with what he told me. He said I have to write to the Embassy Manila to ask to revoke my fiancee petition. Because this "prior marriage" was not diclosed to the petition, I may have an issue with misrepresentation which is a ground for denial or barring me to enter the US. Another issue is bigamy which is a crime in the US- another ground for denying my case. And there's a possibility that they will cancel my tourist visa.

Add to this, I think my relationship with my fiancee is now on the rocks. I can understand his dibelief but Im doing the best I can to explain things to him. I just find it hard to explain because I myself is so confused. Im still in a state of shock. He said something about not really knowing me and suggested to get to know each other first before getting married. If that's the case, why did he ask me to marry him 9 months ago? All this time, he doesn't really know me? How can he tell me he loves me if he doesn't know me? I lived with him for a month in the US. Last November 2007, I visited him and spent two weeks with him. We talk everyday, 3 to 5 times....sometimes for 2 hours. Chat for 4 hours...see each other thru webcam. Also, he finds it weird that I didn't know I was married. All I could answer is, this is Philippines... only in the Philippines where some people learn about the law not because they want to obey it but because they want to know how to break it properly. Im just thinking...if I can not convince my fiancee of my ignorance then surely, the consul won't believe me too. Anyway, Im just so tired now... I give up. This is probably not meant to be. I have no more tears to cry...

[dbears 1]

Oh Steph, I don't know what to say.. I'm dumpfounded .

This makes me really sad, i thought of all the January K1 filers as my family and in a way i feel connected to everyone of you and in some way, I want everyone of us in the January K1 filer thread to all have a happy ending. I don't know what to say .... I'm sending you the BIGGEST HUG!

Please please be strong and may God be your strength and refuge always.

[dbears 1]

Opps, even my words of comfort is a blunder... I mean Ria not Steph....

[ED*Riza 0]

Sorry Ria.. I pray that God will continually strengthen you ...

[David-and-Mae 15]

I'm sorry to hear that, Ria. There are people who can really destroy you but one thing is for sure, in the long run, they will have to pay the price of what they did. I hope you will find the enlightenment you will need at this point in time. All I can do is hope for the best for you.

--Mae

[fitzee21 0]

Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear about everything! I hope they will find that guy and be able to do something about it! That's so sad

I will pray for you too.

[RyaNRiza 1]

That's terrible.How can one person's grudge be enough to destroy another's life and happiness. Your new fiancee seems like he overreacted. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

-Ryan

[Mike_Zandy 0]

Gosh, I don't even know what to say. I pray that your fiance will be patient and have faith in what you are telling him.. and that he will believe it's the honest truth. This is so very sad.. Best wishes...

[STEPHnRIA 2]

It is just so really hard to explain. My fiancee was asking me questions but he will never understand because he never lived here in Philippines. He would always say that is impossible because here in the US its like this or that. But really, you can't compare because this is a third world country. Not everybody has social security numbers. Not everyone pays taxes. A lot of times, its all about who you know and how much you can pay. But I think its a bad move to tell him that. I don't want my country to look so bad because that is not the total picture. He told me before that he will move here in Philippines if I don't get the visa. I will not ask him to move here. I know he will but he won't be happy and I don't want him to hate me for it someday. All I ever want is to make him happy, so now I will tell him that I love him so much, I will set him free.

By the way, this "guy" who made the fake marriage is US citizen. He is half American, half Filipino. We have evidence that marriage license was fake because first- in order for US citizen to get married here in Philippines, he nust have a certificate of legal capacity to marry... and he didn''t have that.

Anyway, I don't wana talk about evidences or whatever. I am more worried with my relationship to Stephen. I really don't know what's going on in his head...

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

(F) (F) Sorry to hear that...that´s terrible...hope you two stay strong and make it through this together (F)

[fitzee21 0]

It is just so really hard to explain. My fiancee was asking me questions but he will never understand because he never lived here in Philippines. He would always say that is impossible because here in the US its like this or that. But really, you can't compare because this is a third world country. Not everybody has social security numbers. Not everyone pays taxes. A lot of times, its all about who you know and how much you can pay. But I think its a bad move to tell him that. I don't want my country to look so bad because that is not the total picture. He told me before that he will move here in Philippines if I don't get the visa. I will not ask him to move here. I know he will but he won't be happy and I don't want him to hate me for it someday. All I ever want is to make him happy, so now I will tell him that I love him so much, I will set him free.

By the way, this "guy" who made the fake marriage is US citizen. He is half American, half Filipino. We have evidence that marriage license was fake because first- in order for US citizen to get married here in Philippines, he nust have a certificate of legal capacity to marry... and he didn''t have that.

Anyway, I don't wana talk about evidences or whatever. I am more worried with my relationship to Stephen. I really don't know what's going on in his head...

Didn't he read any culture books or ask a lot of questions when he was there? I have a bit of an advantage because my stepmother is Filipina and she has a sister in Michigan that I talk to regularly, but most of what I know about the Philippines was read in books (I actually know more about the history, government, geography, etc. than my stepmother, she always skipped classes when she was young, hehe). However, I read about 10 books on the Philippines before I ever visited. I was curious about the culture and family life and how to show respect. A lot of the books that I'd read contain information regarding some of the daily challenges of a Filipino.

I'm really sad to hear about everything, I really hope that you everything can return to normal and that he knows you're telling the truth!

[ez2007 1]

It is just so really hard to explain. My fiancee was asking me questions but he will never understand because he never lived here in Philippines. He would always say that is impossible because here in the US its like this or that. But really, you can't compare because this is a third world country. Not everybody has social security numbers. Not everyone pays taxes. A lot of times, its all about who you know and how much you can pay. But I think its a bad move to tell him that. I don't want my country to look so bad because that is not the total picture. He told me before that he will move here in Philippines if I don't get the visa. I will not ask him to move here. I know he will but he won't be happy and I don't want him to hate me for it someday. All I ever want is to make him happy, so now I will tell him that I love him so much, I will set him free.

By the way, this "guy" who made the fake marriage is US citizen. He is half American, half Filipino. We have evidence that marriage license was fake because first- in order for US citizen to get married here in Philippines, he nust have a certificate of legal capacity to marry... and he didn''t have that.

Anyway, I don't wana talk about evidences or whatever. I am more worried with my relationship to Stephen. I really don't know what's going on in his head...

We are with you in prayers.

One problem at a time. Settle first that fake marriage. Grieve if you must but life goes on. Give him time to discern things.

My handsome had a culture shock on his first visit here. He knew little about Philippine Culture and there's a big difference in just reading about it and actually living here. It almost tore our relationship but love surpasses everything.

God bless. . .

[STEPHnRIA 2]

It is just so really hard to explain. My fiancee was asking me questions but he will never understand because he never lived here in Philippines. He would always say that is impossible because here in the US its like this or that. But really, you can't compare because this is a third world country. Not everybody has social security numbers. Not everyone pays taxes. A lot of times, its all about who you know and how much you can pay. But I think its a bad move to tell him that. I don't want my country to look so bad because that is not the total picture. He told me before that he will move here in Philippines if I don't get the visa. I will not ask him to move here. I know he will but he won't be happy and I don't want him to hate me for it someday. All I ever want is to make him happy, so now I will tell him that I love him so much, I will set him free.

By the way, this "guy" who made the fake marriage is US citizen. He is half American, half Filipino. We have evidence that marriage license was fake because first- in order for US citizen to get married here in Philippines, he nust have a certificate of legal capacity to marry... and he didn''t have that.

Anyway, I don't wana talk about evidences or whatever. I am more worried with my relationship to Stephen. I really don't know what's going on in his head...

Didn't he read any culture books or ask a lot of questions when he was there? I have a bit of an advantage because my stepmother is Filipina and she has a sister in Michigan that I talk to regularly, but most of what I know about the Philippines was read in books (I actually know more about the history, government, geography, etc. than my stepmother, she always skipped classes when she was young, hehe). However, I read about 10 books on the Philippines before I ever visited. I was curious about the culture and family life and how to show respect. A lot of the books that I'd read contain information regarding some of the daily challenges of a Filipino.

I'm really sad to hear about everything, I really hope that you everything can return to normal and that he knows you're telling the truth!

He hasn't been here to Philippines. My parents have invited him to come here so they could finally meet him. And we're supposed to have an engagement party, I would take him to places, do the interview together and fly to the US together with my son. He read a lot of books and newpapers but those won't tell him anything how I got into this situation. I really think that he has to live my life in order to understand.

[sara..... 371]

I am so very sorry and i pray that God gives u peace and the ability to deal with this problem.........u know sometimes its difficult for people in the USA that have NEVER lived over seas to understand that in most country's over seas all it takes is a little money and an evil mind to extract their revenge on someone........i pray that ur s/o reads some of the responses to ur problems here on this thread.........sometimes even a visit is not enough for someone to understand unless they have been in the country awhile .......really it would be great if he could talk to some of the people here in the USA that are from ur country to really be able to understand how easy it is to mess up someones future and just on a side note.......if that man that had done this to u really did love you he could not have done this to u.......when u love someone u put their best interest first even if it hurts u..........good luck and may God bless you

Ammen

Edited April 5, 2008 by estadia

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Today, I woke up feeling better after reading all your posts. Thank you all!