My end of the road...

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Hello guys! Good luck to those who are having their interview this month or next month. Im so happy for you and wish you all the best. Unfortunately, I won't be joining the list. Something happened two weeks ago. And right now Im going through severe depression to the point of getting sick.

Two weeks ago, I ordered CENOMAR eventhough my marriage is already annulled because it was a requirement for the interview. I got the shock of my life when the CENOMAR came... there in the paper, it states that I am married to two men. One in year 1999 and the other one is year 2002. It was a shock because I never got married in 1999. I know the person indicated there. He was my ex-fiancee. I was engaged to him when I was 24 years old but I called it off becasue of a lot of reasons. I remember signing papers but I know it was just a marriage license. Anyway, it was a bad break up. I remember him telling me that nobody can have me because he said he has connections to city hall and he will submit all the papers I signed and make it l appear that we got married. I did not take his threat seriously. Then came the time that I met someone and got married. And then this ex, stopped bugging me. I was married for 4 years. Unfortunately, it didn't last. I was separated since year 2006. A year after, I met someone and he is the reason why I am in K1.

I looked for my ex over the weekend so he could shed some light about this fake paper. He is already somewhere in the US so I can not sue him. My lawyer is filing a petition for the court to declare this marriage null and void in the ground of fraud. Although we have all the evidences, it will still take some time for the judge (3 months) to make the declaration. My next step was to call our lawyer in the US and again I was devastated with what he told me. My lawyer said I have to write to the Embassy to revoke the fiancee petition. Because this "prior marriage" was not disclosed to the petition, I may have an issue with misrepresentation which is a ground for denial or barring me to enter the US. Another issue is bigamy which is a crime in the US- another ground for denying my case. And they might cancel my multiple tourist visa.

Add to this, I think my relationship with my fiancee is now on the rocks. I can understand his disbelief but Im doing the best I can to explain things to him. But I just find it hard to explain because I myself is so confused. Im still in a state of shock. He said something about not really knowing me and suggested to get to know each other first before getting married. That means, all this time he doesn't really know me? But he said he loves me. I lived with him for a month in the US. And last November, I visited him and spent two weeks with him. We talk everyday...3 to 5 times a day. We spend like 2 hours on the phone sometimes and he said he doesn't know me??? Does he really love me? Also he finds it weird that I didn't know I was married. All I could only answer is, this is Philippines... only in the Philippines where some people learn about the law not because they want to obey it but because they want to know how to break it. Im just thinking... if I can not convince my fiancee of my ignorance then surely, the consul won't believe me too. Anyway, Im just so tired now... I give up. This is probably not meant to be. I have no more tears to cry...

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Don't know if you meant to post this in the Canada forum but I wanted to say I'm very very sorry.

I wish you all the best in whatever life brings....keep faith in love, take time for yourself and heal.

[amerasianlove 0]

Hi Ria, i get sad reading your post, Its hard what you're going through right now, i cant give you advice regarding your Cenomar issues but with your Fiance, i hope he will understand and he will give you the benefit of the doubt,if he really love you he will accept everything about your past, but also try to put yourself on his shoes,probably he was surprised with it.WHats happening to your relationship now is just test and eventually it will be stronger than before.

Try to work things out.Dont give up.

God bless you! We're just here for you.

Keep us posted.

Edited April 4, 2008 by mayumi_anthony

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Don't know if you meant to post this in the Canada forum but I wanted to say I'm very very sorry.

I wish you all the best in whatever life brings....keep faith in love, take time for yourself and heal.

No, Im sorry. I didn't mean to post it here. I guess I wasn't thinking straight... I didn't care about where to post this or whoever reads this. But thank you...

Goodbye everyone...

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Don't know if you meant to post this in the Canada forum but I wanted to say I'm very very sorry.

I wish you all the best in whatever life brings....keep faith in love, take time for yourself and heal.

No, Im sorry. I didn't mean to post it here. I guess I wasn't thinking straight... I didn't care about where to post this or whoever reads this. But thank you...

Goodbye everyone...

Please stay strong....

You'll get through this...no matter what the outcome.

I'm thinking of you....

[melusine 5]

for sure, whatever the relationship stay strong or not, you need to fix the old marriage, pending k1 petition etc. It will takes time and effort but you need to get out of it and start again with a clean state.

About the relationship, his reaction is understandable (how would you react if all of a sudden you learn the person you plan to live with forever) have 2 kids and is still married... you would probably be quite surprised. I would suggest, don't be insecure and re assure him of what he means to you, the love you share etc. (without begging but staying strong, like you will work this out as a team to ultimately get together). Now that's depend also if he wants to wait etc... Now.. just wondering... since the wait might be long, what about of him moving to the philippines during the process of fixing things up ? explore all possibilities !

[SpiritAlight 1]

Stupid paperwork.

I'm so sorry to read this thread.

Wow!

If I was emperor (empress?) I would do away with legalities, like paperwork to declare someone loves someone and wants to live with them, and allow people to be free to just Be.

Sigh.

what a screwed up situation...

One thing I know for sure:

love does not discriminate

love does not listen to ego and accepts the other with full heart

love is not attachment/ownership, nor judgment

love is pure and unconditional

that is all I know

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Oh, how sad you must feel. This is a horrible situation and not one that you have caused. Please try to hold on. You have a lawyer who is working to get the first marriage annulled - a marriage that never really happened but was falsely created by a jealous ex boyfriend . You did not lie to immigration, nor have you committed bigamy. These facts were totally unknown to you at the time. IF that marriage had taken place it would be a different matter, but it didn't and it is terrible that you have to deal with this situation caused by a nasty man. Please allow your fiance to feel shocked - you know how shocked you feel and allow him to work through those feelings. Stay strong for the two of you. Keep focused on the knowledge that the first 'marriage' never happened. Your commitment to that belief will help both your lawyer convince the Philippine authorities that this man committed fraud, and will help your fiance to recognize that you are still the woman he loves. This is not your fault - you are just left with the mess to clean up - so do what you have to do and hang on. Good luck to you - and know you are welcome to visit us here in the Canada forum at any time.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I am so sorry you are going through this --- let's hope you get it solved - and strengthen your relationship with your beloved.