Family support

[HLM 1]

im here for you all sisters no one hesitates to talk to me about anything...HUGS

im so sorry wahrania about ur family its very tragic...but i have a good feeling by time they wd see the amazing person he is that made u fall in love with him first place and insha Allah wd give in if i may say ....

[sereia 0]

I have talked to other people who also lied about being married so their family wouldn't flip out! Like he got a visa on his own here and they're dating. I considered doing it but I just can't keep up a lie! I suck!

[*Maureen* 0]

I have talked to other people who also lied about being married so their family wouldn't flip out! Like he got a visa on his own here and they're dating. I considered doing it but I just can't keep up a lie! I suck!

Wow, that would have been a doozy of a story to tell...lol, one day your single and the next day a man is living with you...lol

[sereia 0]

well i do know of at least one person who DID do that. i just can't lie very well so i don't do it! lol

[*Maureen* 0]

Wow, I don't think i could ever pull that off! I'm not a very good liar...lol

[Aymsgirl 0]

Wahrania,

I have a good support system here with my family and my friends. Not all of my family and friends started off on the right foot. Alot spread my business and isolated themselves from me thinking I had went off of the deep end. I kept hearing his intentions probably weren't what they seemed but once my family and good friends seen how happy for once I was in my life that is what made them accept my situation. My parents have been wonderful through this with me. They seen me through a very bad marriage and divorce and just want me to live peacefully and love truely.

I've also been through the difficulties of being pregnant and having your SO on the other side of the world from you. I would go to my doctor's appointments and see all of the couples together for their ultrasounds and check ups and find myself in the bathroom at the OB crying my eyes out for him. The day I had our son was the hardest but I am hoping for you that is something you will not have to experience alone. I hope your husband will be here with you through the birth and not like mine and meet his son and live by him through a webcam. I always know I have his love through these times and that I was the lucky one with my little piece of him everywhere I went.

I wish you the best Wahrania. We are here for you and if you ever need to talk to me just send me a private message. I understand most of what you are going through. Just keep your faith and take it day by day and eventually you will have him here to support you.

Tasha

[chaishai 1]

I have talked to other people who also lied about being married so their family wouldn't flip out! Like he got a visa on his own here and they're dating. I considered doing it but I just can't keep up a lie! I suck!

I never told my mom my husband got his green card via our marriage. I never told her about our courtroom marriage, she came to our real marriage afterwards in israel.

My mom says things like my husband should help more with the kids. Why? Because its prejudged on her end that since he is from the ME is is chauvinst and will make me do all of the work. The reality is that he changes more diapers than me - and she sees that but she still makes comments. Or she will look disgusted if I mention that our son looks like one of his family members (BOTH of my kids look like i had nothing to do with them and she is in denial). So for me to tell her that (even though it was 9 years ago) would bring on the comments.

I did tell my dad who was the most open minded person in the world, but he passed away unfortunately.

Anyway I just dont understand how some people can be so narrow minded and I hope that I am not that way with my children.

so i was married for a year and never told my mom even though it wasnt religiously

Edited April 3, 2008 by chaishai

[doodlebugg 10]

Well I've told my story several times but to sum up the major stuff that happened:

1) mom came over my house before I went there for the first time and asked if I was going to blow her up and why don't I love my children enough to stay alive for them.

2) came home married and mom asked if I was pregnant and when I said no she said THANK GOD now you can get move on.

3) I cut all ties with my family for a few months

4) Apparently not seeing your grandkids for a few months isn't all it's cracked up to be so my mother came by after a LONG separation and gave me a miniature elephant statue and apologized that she doesn't know which way "those people" face it. I gently reminded her that he's Egyptian and they don't do the whole elephant thing and she laughed and we got along again.

5) few more months went by and a week before I was to go again I told my parents and my mom apparently fainted and my father said, "I thought you were over him???!!!"

6) came back after that and caught pneumonia and had to suck up my pride and ask my mother to bring me medicine since I had a 104 fever and could barely move. She came in the house with scrubs, a mask and surgical gloves on (she's an RN and my dad's a doctor), dropped off the meds and asked if I had a will written up.

After all that..........................my mother went into therapy, started reading books about Pakistan and kept calling me every time something happened in Afghanistan. I gently reminded her that he lives in Egypt and she laughed and things were better.

Now.............my father has donated half his winter wardrobe which now sits in my husband's half of the closet and in his bureau, my mom has offered to teach him how to drive and to take him to lunch while I'm at work.

We didn't get a wedding present and they don't call him my husband yet but baby steps. To be honest if it weren't for the pneumonia I would have been cool with another separation because I don't need their validation of my life to live it, though it is cool how they're kind of trying at least.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

there IS hope ladies. mine came around when i never thought they would! (well not everyone but they all mostly did!)

I hope this for everyone as well. I dealt with racism when I was pregnant with my son. My dad told me I had.. "ruined his legacy"... he came around and LOVES my son and makes attempts to spend time with him.

When I dropped this bomb on them (dad and stepmom) the reaction was subdued,guarded.. but not negative at all.

Now, they ask questions now about the process.. how long will it take? when can he start working? bla bla bla. They saw the pictures, hear about how great he is ect ect. My dad gave me a speech about it.. not bad, just: it's going to be hard at first and you guys will have adustments to make blabla. Pretty wise advise actually.

My brother.. is the best brother in the world btw... he is sooooo awesome. When i get depressed, he says things like.. you guys are in love.. you will be together soon. He even wants to come out here, and then drive to O'hare with me when habibi gets here... yes, we're projecting

Anyway, I have been there... its VERY hard especially if youre pregnant.

I dont believe in alienating my family either, however.. I would not allow my family to mistreat my husband. Thank god, I dont have to worry about that.... if my stepmom gets too passive agressive, we can leave. My family is pretty much a zoo anyway, I dont see 'em that much lol

Lisa

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Well I've told my story several times but to sum up the major stuff that happened:

After all that..........................my mother went into therapy, started reading books about Pakistan and kept calling me every time something happened in Afghanistan. I gently reminded her that he lives in Egypt and she laughed and things were better.

This is F'ing hilarious! I had a friend, I told him I was going to Jordan.

Everytime I saw, or talked to him.. he'd say.. when are you going to Lebenon. The next time it would be, so when are you going to Pakistan, the next time.. So, how is the weather gonna be in Syria? You get the picture. LOL

[sereia 0]

i remember posting here when i first got engaged and was filing the K-1 for my husband. i told VJ about my family issues and how i was so upset the way they were acting and wondering if they would ever come around. lots of people gave me hope (and advice) and have been through similar situations! i guess its common unfortunately!

my mom- the one most against us... ended up loving him more than anyone else in my family! she still wishes i didn't marry a muslim...but she loves him a lot and accepts him as my husband and she's seen he truly loves me with her own eyes!

the ones who i thought wouldn't really care if i married a moroccan, chinese, german, or alien... really were pissed at me! but eventually they became decent with us (not overly friendly but invited us over and all that)

and its still new! he only got here last july.

Edited April 4, 2008 by sereia

[Badrs Love 0]

Well I've told my story several times but to sum up the major stuff that happened:

1) mom came over my house before I went there for the first time and asked if I was going to blow her up and why don't I love my children enough to stay alive for them.

Both my parents came over a few days before I left and proceeded to try and distract me as they called the Sherrif's Department to do a welfare check on my home because they thought I was crazy and not taking care of my daughter. And then my dad procedded to yell and call me "F'ing Stupid" that I was going to Morocco. So I packed up my daughter and left. Later the Sherrif called me and I then explained the mental capacity of my mother and how she broke into my apartment to spy on my because I wouldn't tell her anything about my personal life.

People just have to learn to let go and move on. I have but my family hasn't.

[KandD 1]

Well I've told my story several times but to sum up the major stuff that happened:

1) mom came over my house before I went there for the first time and asked if I was going to blow her up and why don't I love my children enough to stay alive for them.

Both my parents came over a few days before I left and proceeded to try and distract me as they called the Sherrif's Department to do a welfare check on my home because they thought I was crazy and not taking care of my daughter. And then my dad procedded to yell and call me "F'ing Stupid" that I was going to Morocco. So I packed up my daughter and left. Later the Sherrif called me and I then explained the mental capacity of my mother and how she broke into my apartment to spy on my because I wouldn't tell her anything about my personal life.

People just have to learn to let go and move on. I have but my family hasn't.

Thank goodness im not the only "crazy person" around here. I was beginning to feel isolated. My family did the same thing and treated me terribly at first and called the Sherrifs Dept too. My mom and my daughters started coming around and are actually looking forward to his arrival, on the other hand, my father and brother and rest of my extended family hasnt spoke to me in over a year . O well Im not living my life to plz them

[In Gods Hands 0]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Yep!! ((((group hug)))) We are here for you!! ** arabic kiss kiss **

[tammy2688 1]

We know what ur going thru...we got ur back all the way!