Family support

[allousa 1]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

[doodlebugg 10]

Although I'm happy that this is a good support and outlet to you I think you need to get support in your community as well to augment the level of help that you get. I'm not saying vj isn't great since I obviously vent a lot and share a lot on here (more than I should apparently) but sometimes it's not so great and that is when you need to have that community in florida to guide you. Not sure where to find it but I would think a mosque or even friends from your kids school or something.

[Ban Hammer 13,111]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

ain't that the truth

[Imua 0]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

you already are....................

Can I be your adopted S. Asian cousin LOL...

I know how you feel - my mom has not been against us but is not being terribly supportive either - she has not offered to help us in any way esp financially and compared to us she is loaded and we are seriously hurting - this is her only child's FIRST and hopefully ONLY wedding and she never even gave us a wedding present...- I think deep inside she feels he is only out for a green card but doesn't want to say so... My 86 yo grandmother makes no bones about saying he's only out for GC/citizenship and will leave me... so it's basically only me and my 'brother'(very very close platonic male friend) who is very supportive.

Edited April 3, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[morocco4ever 63]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Hey....I resemble that remark!!

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

ain't that the truth

And you are the most disfuctional of us all Charles....but we love ya!

Edited April 3, 2008 by morocco4ever

[Ban Hammer 13,111]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

ain't that the truth

And you are the most disfuctional of us all Charles....but we love ya!

it's taken me many years of practice to get to where i am today

[polarbear 0]

(((((HUGS))))))

I think we all know how you feel to an extent.... it really was the only place for me to come and find people who knew what I was going through. Friends and local support are good and all, but if you don't have that really good, life-long friend - the friends sometimes just don't cut it. They get sick of listening about it, and they can sympathize, but they don't really understand. When your family is against it and you can't mention his name without a fight starting...well... VJ is a haven. Here, your not alone. Don't worry Wahriana, I like being part of a large dysfunctional family

I really think the only reason my mother was pretending to be okay with it is that I stopped all mention of anything even remotely related to him. We used to be close, but then when I couldn't talk about him or anything even touching on future plans, ect.. I think she realized she was loosing me and loosing out on a big part of my life. I just couldn't think of very many safe things to talk about or that I even wanted to tell her anymore, and I just stopped calling. They had to meet him before they have me a reserved "okay, we will give him a chance" The biggest unease right now with my family is the religion and that's a whole 'nother can of worms...

[Nutty 2]

What do you mean..."My Mom harbors alot of illwill towards mena people because of what happened to me (she was very welcoming before and has been to morocco,jordan and egypt)."

What happened to you that changed her behaviour??? Did something bad happen to you in the Middle East or by a middle eastern person?

I am sorry your family is racist and against your husband. It's their hangup, not yours...So don't feel badly.

Maybe once your husband arrives and sees how good he is to you, she will soften up towards him.

[allousa 1]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

ain't that the truth

And you are the most disfuctional of us all Charles....but we love ya!

it's taken me many years of practice to get to where i am today

I don't think I have enough fingers on my hands to count which peeps I would label as the "most dysfunctional"!!!!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,111]

We will be your adopted dysfunctional family ! (((((((group hug))))))

Jackie

Let me correct this for you.....

We will be your adopted DYSFUNCTIONAL family

ain't that the truth

And you are the most disfuctional of us all Charles....but we love ya!

it's taken me many years of practice to get to where i am today

I don't think I have enough fingers on my hands to count which peeps I would label as the "most dysfunctional"!!!!!!

i better be on the top 10 of that list

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

What do you mean..."My Mom harbors alot of illwill towards mena people because of what happened to me (she was very welcoming before and has been to morocco,jordan and egypt)."

What happened to you that changed her behaviour??? Did something bad happen to you in the Middle East or by a middle eastern person?

I am sorry your family is racist and against your husband. It's their hangup, not yours...So don't feel badly.

Maybe once your husband arrives and sees how good he is to you, she will soften up towards him.

Its a long story and I am not rehashing it. lets just say she had a bad experience with a particular person and it hurt my whole family and since then she hasnt been real thrilled about me having any kind of relationships, friends , romance or otherwise with any one from MENA.

My situation is kind of odd because my family used to be much larger but through strange twists of fate, some didnt have kids, several cousins died childless, all the older people are gone and I am left with my 82 year old father who has outlived all his family and my 72 year old mother who had a very dysfunctional one that somehow didnt get along and entire sides of the family fractured off and stopped talking to the others. Then my grandmother and my great aunt split over my aunt and my grandmother saying nasty things about her gay son , who later died of aids and when my great aunt died she left everything to my mom and cut my aunt out ( another fracture) Plus she had 2 children ( my moms sister) but has done such a great job of alienating everyone ( like only serving ham when muslims come to visit.. NO I AM NOT KIDDING) and my mom just kind of lets her do whatever she wants ( quiet and enabling)

So other than my little brood and my Algerian husband who is coming who comes from a family of about 3000000000 and my mom drinking jack and my aunt sneering, I really dont have anyone to talk to about the mena stuff. I have American friends but they think Algeria is an Italian dish with pasta and no one really is interested in immigration or much else. I am able to come here and talk about things. I am sure my mena friends will make a bigger deal over the baby's birth and help me choose names than Ann Coulter my aunt. I literally just sit at events and look at people ( they are all so perfect with their Doctorates and their cars) With everyone of my husbands faults, I think about where I would be without him,.... and thats lonely as ####### and bored... I am happy I am having his baby.. And I am grateful for MENA vj

[Badrs Love 0]

Hi

I have had very little family support during this process in terms of letting me talk about the immigration process.I have only my elderly mom and my extremely racist aunt left alive.So I just want to thank all of you for your feedback and kindness and support of me during this process.My Mom harbors alot of illwill towards mena people because of what happened to me (she was very welcoming before and has been to morocco,jordan and egypt)but she seems more welcoming to Jeffrey Dahmer than me having a baby with a mena person and marrying one.I told her today that its not fair to be like this to my husband (she only one month ago replied to any of his emails and I think its cause I am pregnant)

I talked to my husband today and bascially told him baby you are all I have to rejoice in this baby because my family wont give or attend a babyshower for me (they didnt give my daughter one thing and stood me up at the showers others gave)I just want you to know thatVJ mena is precious to me because its my only outlet to talk about the baby or my marriage on a daily basis...Thank you for being here

I feel your pain. I have no family support either. My cousin is the only one that listens to me because she would rather make an attempt to understand to have me in her life than not have me in her life. Last night was the first time I saw my parents since I've been back (3/27/08). My mom seemed very interested to see my pictures. So I showed them to her and she asked questions. As well as my dad. They seemed suprised that Morocco had trees. They must have been thinking it would look more like a desert. Anyways, after dinner the tables totally turned. I started getting question about what my future is gonna look like and stating how Badr wants me for GC, blah blah blah. So I stayed and defended myself. After a point, my dad started siding with me and telling my mother to stop being so negative. So I think my dad is starting to see that this is a serious relationship and is making an attempt to understand. But the last year and a half has been hell with my family. I don't feel welcome when I go to my parents house or my sisters house. The same sister that is married to a Jordanian. The same sister who has experienced racial judgement towards her own husband. But I guess it's different because he was here on a student visa to get a masters degree and my mom knew he would be making big money so she was ok with telling my sister to marry him so he could get a visa to continue his eduation. My family is filled with hypocrits.

I do feel your pain.

[sereia 0]

there IS hope ladies. mine came around when i never thought they would! (well not everyone but they all mostly did!)

[*Maureen* 0]

I sure hope things will be different when he is here, especially since there will be a baby involved. I do wish the best for you wahrania.

I guess it's just hard for parents and other family members to understand these kinds of things.

[SaadBell 0]

Ladies -

I too suffer from family haters, I just decided not to say a word on any of it. I am sure they have some idea that Hesham and I are together, but married no, they haven't a clue. I figured that I have a little wait while the visa goes through, and when that happens I will mention it maybe a month before I know he comes. I am awful lol, but no I don't tell them a thing, only on VJ do I talk about my husband and visa.