name change after marriage

[Marcos Heidi 0]

Hello all,

I was just curious about other future wives decision regarding marrying a foreign husband.... do you plan on taking his name? I am particularly interested in those whose fiances come from countries where the wife does not normally take the husband's name as hers, for example, Spain.

[chris4gretchen 1]

i guess it would be up to each individual woman what she did, but i'd have to say from my point of view, when in rome do as the romans. If its the norm in USA, then join the norm. Most couples if they dont have the same name, people will assume you are not married.

Unless you are famous or your name is trademarked or you are a doctor etc where the world knows you are that one name most in the USA change their name so they share a family name. Others keep their maiden name professionally and have a married name for personal stuff.

Britney Spears didnt become Britney Federline when she married. My fiancee will take my name, . Here in the USA it is a symbol of the marriage for both to share a name.

Good luck in whatever choice you make. Its up to you what you want to do. Have you discussed it with your future husband? maybe he wants to take your last name. or not share a name at all.

Chris

[Marcos Heidi 0]

THANKS for your opinion, Chris! Sure we have talked about it. It doesn't make a difference to him because he's not used to the wife taking the husbands name, in his culture. He wants me to do what makes me happy. I know this is not a very important post but yet it something "important"to talk about while waiting to be together. Making me feel hopeful, you know? His family name is Cruz, and although I would LOVE to his name, just to feel connected to him, it's kinda hard to pronounce correctly and may seem strange to most people. And besides I share my name with my children (although it would seem strange to keep my ex-husbands name ) LOL, well, thanks for talking

i guess it would be up to each individual woman what she did, but i'd have to say from my point of view, when in rome do as the romans. If its the norm in USA, then join the norm. Most couples if they dont have the same name, people will assume you are not married.

Unless you are famous or your name is trademarked or you are a doctor etc where the world knows you are that one name most in the USA change their name so they share a family name. Others keep their maiden name professionally and have a married name for personal stuff.

Britney Spears didnt become Britney Federline when she married. My fiancee will take my name, . Here in the USA it is a symbol of the marriage for both to share a name.

Good luck in whatever choice you make. Its up to you what you want to do. Have you discussed it with your future husband? maybe he wants to take your last name. or not share a name at all.

Chris

[Coco&Kitten 42]

Hi there,

Here is my answer: I am spanish and I did not take my husband's name, for me it would be like loosing my identity. Also, once I hear that is not legal in Spain, you have an ID and you can not change your name easily. It would cause more headaches than advantages. Also we have two last names, one from the father and the second from the mother, the tradition would be lost if we started changing surnames...

Kitten

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Just do what your heart tells you to do. If you aren´t really comfortable with a name change then don´t do it. It´s not bad to keep your name at all and nobody will judge you by how you decide. Good luck Afterall...the strenght and quality of the relationship doesn´t depend on wife´s and husband´s names

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

In France you can either take your husband's name or keep yours, or even take both. But that's quite new. Traditionally, the woman takes her husband's name.

My mother asked me if I was going to keep my name. She said that if I don't, she would feel like I give up my identity. I told her that if I was going to marry a French man, I would have taken his name and that therefore, I don't see why I would not do it with my American husband. That's why I'm going to take his name. (I also told her that I still want to be a French citizen, and that I will not give it up, that made her feel better)

So I would say just do what you think is best for you.

[sweetpink 1]

some people I know they affix their married name to their maiden name..like Maria Gonzales-Smith

[mamajo 1]

Hi, just read this post and thought I also respond. I actually won't take my husband's last name when we get married. It's something that I've always stuck by and he's ok with it. Do whatever makes you feel happy.

[unforgettable fire 2]

I just saw this post and could not help but reply...

I would like to take my husband's last name, however since I have a Spanish passport (even though I'm UK resident) it will be more hassle than it is worth. I just wish Spain would let you do whatever you want with your surname. We feel obliged to keep our last name when some of us would actually like to take our husband's one... I believe this is a matter of personal choice not a country's personal agenda nor stupid bureaucracy.

[Chamy and Gatita 3]

hi just read this thread. im debating the same thing.

im 38, and i have a college diploma (im a badger too! on wisconsin!) house, passport, and a lot of nicknames based on my last name. the reason why i state my age i cause ive hada lot of time to establish an identity around it i guess. i really like my last name, even though its an old german name that nobody can pronounce. also, we call each other by our last names a lot at work ( im a firefighter) and it's all over our uniforms- name plates, name patches, name tags, etc etc. plus i am independent and never was able to understand the tradition of losing your identity. if it's about being a part of the "team", then why doesnt both partners come up with a completely new one?

my fiance is from ecuador where they use 2 appelidos. his mom didnt change her name, but when i asked him what he thought, he said he wants me to have his name. as far as his name, his dad cheated on his mom and caused a lot of pain, him and his dad didnt see eye to eye, but he is really close to his mom. in when he comes here he thnks he will keep only his dad's. that i dont understand but i respect it cause its his choice. but why in the world would i want to take his dad's name after what he did to the family? it would be really cool if he took his mom's in her honor, but like i said its up to him.

so at a later date, when we can talk in person, i plan on explaining all this to my fiance. i cant imagine that it will be an issue for him. i really dont care if people call us mr and mrs [his last name], like at a restaurant or hotel, or whatever. people who are close will know what my name is. our kids can have his name.

just a heads up though, depending on what kind of people you run with you may want to anticipate getting some #$% over a decision to keep your name. some pretty normal ie not super macho guys at work told me they would NEVER marry a woman who kept her last name. you may get an unwanted earful of that, yes, even in this day and age and country!!!

anyhow, the bottom line is figure out what is right for you, you will know. i dont think cruz is difficult at all, but then again you are in wisconsin :-) let us know what you decide.

all the best,

kathie