divorce filed - a letter to the soon to be ex-wife

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

It's throwing daggers at another injured heart. It's like being slapped in the face while complimented at the same time. If the intent of the writer was to be funny then it's funny in a very sick cruel sadistic way. Dark humor.

not evil....just funny

[panamania79 2]

My Dear,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period,

but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again.

But, that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the

first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling

back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of

things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.

I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let

our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: "There's no one

like you." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not

you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this

to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19,

with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating

can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an azz that

just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being monica'ed

by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all

so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in

her case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she

have a better heart than you, even though you're only moderately attractive? I doubt it.

And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a

little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking,

"Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty,

shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so

incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to

watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. I'm just going crazy

without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well,

she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating

right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the

real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're

banging away in our old bedroom. And this "Tart's" a total monster in the sack. She's

giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her

weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots

that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we

straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad,

too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't you ever put the mirror on the floor? We've

had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, she's just

a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real

friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and

about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, she really is.

So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's

this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she

looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out

Jennifer's really into the whole backdoor thing, that gets me to thinking about how many

times I begged you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness

between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's brown eye, all

I can do is think of you? In your heart you must know it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start

fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, just let me know where the dayum remote is.

Love,

Me

[Sister Fracas 5]

It's throwing daggers at another injured heart. It's like being slapped in the face while complimented at the same time. If the intent of the writer was to be funny then it's funny in a very sick cruel sadistic way. Dark humor.

not evil....just funny

I'm missing something....

Who is it throwing daggers at? Did I miss something around here again?

[Nagishkaw 510]

All this because she found out about your ice cream and pizza consumption last night? Really sad.

[sj5 4]

[sj5 4]

Happy fools day people~

[nane1104 146]

Happy fools day people~

THat was yesterday...today we are all dead serious and highly sensitive about stuff like this

[sj5 4]

Happy fools day people~

THat was yesterday...today we are all dead serious and highly sensitive about stuff like this

I didn't mean it but i'm really thinking he just posted it for fun.. that is why I replied with

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

this was a joke, folks. the mere fact that i'm here posting and not in the hospital have parts of myself reattached surgically should be proof enough that nessa and i are not the subject of this story.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

like anyone would think that guy and you were the same boat with all those different women oh my stop me now

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

like anyone would think that guy and you were the same boat with all those different women oh my stop me now

in my younger days

[nane1104 146]

Happy fools day people~

THat was yesterday...today we are all dead serious and highly sensitive about stuff like this

I didn't mean it but i'm really thinking he just posted it for fun.. that is why I replied with

THat is why I was

[brnidokiegurl 0]

like anyone would think that guy and you were the same boat with all those different women oh my stop me now

in my younger days

younger ? you dont mean to tell me you are ALSO old, surely not since you were giving me a bad time about it yesterday

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

like anyone would think that guy and you were the same boat with all those different women oh my stop me now

in my younger days

younger ? you dont mean to tell me you are ALSO old, surely not since you were giving me a bad time about it yesterday

i can still legally call you maw

*runs*

[almaty 19]

this was a joke, folks. the mere fact that i'm here posting and not in the hospital have parts of myself reattached surgically should be proof enough that nessa and i are not the subject of this story.

wow, i could not believe people..would not see it as a joke.....vj sheesh