worriness to move to the US and marriage

[Masha2008 0]

Now, I am on the last stage of getting K1 visa. Sending back DS230 tomorrow, medical exam, police clearance and interview. But, now I am supposed to be so excited, but I am a little nervous and worried about my new life in the US.

I was born and grew up in Japan. Even though I went to American University and got BA, it has been over year and half since I returned to my home. I do not have real career experience. What if I get divorced? what should I? can I really suvive in the US? Can I really find a Job in the US? I am getting really scared. I hate to be depend on my husband and I do not want to. I want to make my own money and have fun. But, I do not know how to drive. I cannot speak English like him. Just getting panicked and stressed out. Do you have any good advice?

[Islandwoman 0]

Now, I am on the last stage of getting K1 visa. Sending back DS230 tomorrow, medical exam, police clearance and interview. But, now I am supposed to be so excited, but I am a little nervous and worried about my new life in the US.

I was born and grew up in Japan. Even though I went to American University and got BA, it has been over year and half since I returned to my home. I do not have real career experience. What if I get divorced? what should I? can I really suvive in the US? Can I really find a Job in the US? I am getting really scared. I hate to be depend on my husband and I do not want to. I want to make my own money and have fun. But, I do not know how to drive. I cannot speak English like him. Just getting panicked and stressed out. Do you have any good advice?

Being nervous is totally normal and expected. my thoughts to you though is do NOT go into a marriage thinking about divorce!!! Postive thoughts make positive things happen, but that works both ways - a negative thought usually brings a negative result. Trust you SO to guide you through the transistion and you should be fine.

Congrats on your journey so far.

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Now, I am on the last stage of getting K1 visa. Sending back DS230 tomorrow, medical exam, police clearance and interview. But, now I am supposed to be so excited, but I am a little nervous and worried about my new life in the US.

I was born and grew up in Japan. Even though I went to American University and got BA, it has been over year and half since I returned to my home. I do not have real career experience. What if I get divorced? what should I? can I really suvive in the US? Can I really find a Job in the US? I am getting really scared. I hate to be depend on my husband and I do not want to. I want to make my own money and have fun. But, I do not know how to drive. I cannot speak English like him. Just getting panicked and stressed out. Do you have any good advice?

Being nervous is totally normal and expected. my thoughts to you though is do NOT go into a marriage thinking about divorce!!! Postive thoughts make positive things happen, but that works both ways - a negative thought usually brings a negative result. Trust you SO to guide you through the transistion and you should be fine.

Congrats on your journey so far.

You might want to check the regional forums discussions - you might get some answers from fellow countrymen that have made the journey over already (and survived, I might add). Good Luck and I hope you have a smooth transition.

[amerasianlove 0]

Dont think about divorce, my dear you are just getting married,focus on your life with your spouse,

I understand your dilemma migrating to USA,where everything is new to you,but im pretty sure you will make it,just give one day at a time.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Although it is good to be realistic you also can't predict exactly what will happen and to a large extent you will have to just go with the flow. I am sure some problems will crop up that we have not thought about but we may also find some things are easier than expected along the way. I am sure you will find some very supportive people when you move to the US - I know that no matter where I have been, even when things were looking rough, someone or something good was just around the corner.

We're all nervous - that's only natural. I am really, really concerned about finding a decent job, too. However, as there is little I can do to prepare for that I shall simply have to cross that bridge as it comes. I won't be able to work immediately upon entry into the states anyway so there will be at least a couple of months in which I shall have time to work on my resume and do volunteer work. I can't drive, either - again, I hope to have a few lessons before I leave but other than that I shall just have to wait until I am in the states and then I can dedicate my spare time to practicing then.

Your written English is very good; speaking it will become a lot easier when you are surrounded by native English-speakers.

I agree with Islandwoman - try to think positive thoughts, and if your mind is fixated on the negative ones (which happens to everyone some times), find something to occupy your mind - read a book or engage in a similar hobby. Take each day as it comes - that's all we can really do when the visa process is as unpredictable as it is.

[*JG* 2]

It's just nerves and perfectly natural. Remember why you went through all this. Look at it as a fun adventure with the one you love.

If it were not to work out, you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself before. Why would it be any different?

Deep breaths......everything will be just fine.

[Krikit 1,165]

Do not borrow worries that may or may not happen in the future. It takes away from the present. It is natural to be concerned.... it's part of the adjustment process. But don't focus only on the negative. There are many wonderful things coming your way. Spend more time thinking of the positive and the negative will fade away.

[Jeraly 4]

Hey Masha

It is normal to be nervous - it is such a rollercoaster ride and I was always going to stay in the UK - Jeremy was going to come here

What I continue to tell myself is that if I get there and I really hate it then I can always come home - nothing is keeping me in the US apart from Jeremy and he is happy to move to the UK should we decide to do that. My family will support me in whatever I decide to do

If things do go bad (and that can happen even if you enter into a marriage not expecting it to) then there is no reason that you have to stay in the US - there is no reason why you couldn't just go home to Japan

Of course I am aware that it will take a while to settle in - I don't want to make any big decisions for at least a year and ideally I would like to stay to get my citizenship at the very least so we have more options further down the line

Defo try speaking to others from Japan in the regional forums and know that you can always turn to people here for support I will be just the same as you no doubt. I was really calm about my interview until I got packet 4 today and now I am just a mess!!

[melusine 5]

do NOT go into a marriage thinking about divorce!!!

I agree strongly with that. For everything else, you will adapt with time. Driving, you will learn etc....

Relax and see it as a wonderful adventure to join your sweety !

[R de la R 2]

Now, I am on the last stage of getting K1 visa. Sending back DS230 tomorrow, medical exam, police clearance and interview. But, now I am supposed to be so excited, but I am a little nervous and worried about my new life in the US.

I was born and grew up in Japan. Even though I went to American University and got BA, it has been over year and half since I returned to my home. I do not have real career experience. What if I get divorced? what should I? can I really suvive in the US? Can I really find a Job in the US? I am getting really scared. I hate to be depend on my husband and I do not want to. I want to make my own money and have fun. But, I do not know how to drive. I cannot speak English like him. Just getting panicked and stressed out. Do you have any good advice?

Nobody has the ability to predict the future, my recomendation is:

1-Find a job when you get the docs for working.

2-Learn how to drive

3-Take more English Class and talk to every person around you, the only way you can pick up the language it is involved on it.

Good luck and don't worry too much, just try to be happy and enjoy the life.

[L & P 0]

hey Masha,

Follow YMR advise and learn the language first ....I am french national and arrive in UK 15 years ago...The little English i had was what i llearned at school ....i was good at it....but it is never the same when you have to use it in every day life ......now I am a manager in the National Health Service ....

All the best and don't worry, as long as you are in love with your SO, wou should adapt no problem

[erintoronto 0]

If it were not to work out, you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself before. Why would it be any different?

exactly! you can do it!!!

just think of how amazing it is as you work through the process together. with every step my guy and i accomplish, we feel closer and also know that heck, if we can get through this we'll be able to get through anything. yes, there will be challenges but we're in it together.