No jargon and already bored with the visa process

[Saffyre 0]

It's rough being apart for long periods of time, but at no point have I felt like i'm not engaged. I talk about him all the time, I talk to him every day without fail, and all my friends, family and work colleagues know my SO. It's all very real to me, and the day I arrive in the US to really start my life with him will be the happiest day ever! Until I get married of course, and then THAt will have to be the happiest day.....

[RyaNRiza 1]

It's rough being apart from fiancees and wives for any great length of time. I think most of us joined to get what information we could, but stayed because we found people who know what we're going through, can help us to celebrate our good news in this process, or console us for our disappointments. Why fill out a timeline, or learn the "Jargon"? well because maybe it will help you to feel connected. Finding the definitons is not hard, on the many part of the forum there is a button that says immigration dictionary, if you click it, it takes you to this page http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...page=definition and voila, you're no longer in the dark. You can be as connected or unconnected as you wish to be here, make friends or just read the info. We all came for different, though similar reasons.

If you get a chance, check out the regional area for your Significant Other, there's probably good information there that will help when you move from one stage to another.

Personally, I like coming here each day and reading all of the hope that people pour out here. It's so much better than the negativity I read in other places.

-Ryan

[bora bora 1]

I found that keeping busy made things easier for me. I would pay attention to the small "good news" details which made me more excited for our interview/reunion.

In addition, there are a lot of things to keep in order and be on top of, and with my (now) husband miles away (and not knowing English), it was important that I was as knowledgeable as possible and could tell him in advance what he needed to do in Brazil.

It worked too because our process was smooth and we never had RFEs or anything and my husband now has his residency.

[Islandwoman 0]

I always say that couples who have to go through this process will know a love that few others will ever know. Not only do I feel like I am engaged, I feel that by communicating over the phone, emails, and text messages, my fiancee and I are closer then we have ever been or ever would ahve been. We may not be physically togeher, but she is by my side and i by her's every moment of everyday. I won't say that i am enjoying my last days of bachlorhood, but I can tell you that there is nothing in this world I am looking forward to mroe then picking up my girl at the airport and living happily ever after.....

I second that!! While I hate the separation, this really forces you to build a relationship from the bottom up. At the sound of my SO's voice I can tell whether he is happy, sad, tired, mad, etc. and vice-versa. And when you fight this hard to have a relationship, you can bet you will fight to keep it!!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I always say that couples who have to go through this process will know a love that few others will ever know. Not only do I feel like I am engaged, I feel that by communicating over the phone, emails, and text messages, my fiancee and I are closer then we have ever been or ever would ahve been. We may not be physically togeher, but she is by my side and i by her's every moment of everyday. I won't say that i am enjoying my last days of bachlorhood, but I can tell you that there is nothing in this world I am looking forward to mroe then picking up my girl at the airport and living happily ever after.....

I second that!! While I hate the separation, this really forces you to build a relationship from the bottom up. At the sound of my SO's voice I can tell whether he is happy, sad, tired, mad, etc. and vice-versa. And when you fight this hard to have a relationship, you can bet you will fight to keep it!!

At times I am almost grateful to this visa process - and then I curse myself for thinking such a foolish thought. But it certainly does force us to build an incredibly strong bond.

[alienlovechild 75]

The moderater took the liberty of moving my thread and I thought it had been deleted. Thanks Laura & Nick for telling me what was going on. I posted my timeline as suggested. Happy now? I'm not. Nobody told me there's another reason to post a timeline. You can get an automatic comparison of 30 of K-1 visa seekers who started when I did. Of the 30 I saw 19 are at the NOA2 stage and Mr. Lucky (me) is trailing behind with the rest.

I also noticed another pattern on people who can't comprehend how one can feel "not engaged". Nearly all of them were 10-20 years younger than me. I'm 43 and you get more cynical as you age especially if you've been involuntarily single for a long time. Hopefully, you'll never have to find out how that feels. My financee (33) as a similar outlook. Both of us thought we'd never get married at this rate so we both talk about how weird it is to talk about the elusive finance/financee.

Both of us have lived alone for about 10 years so we aren't "clingy" types with friends and our families live far away. We both have 100% support of respective families so we aren't eloping. No offense but I'm pre-Internet so I don't get much from words of encouragement from posters online. You're even less "real" to me than my engagement but I do appreciate the useful advice given by some posters.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Wow...

Your words made me feel sad.

Although I feel engaged, I can understand how you may not. It's like you are on hold, like your life is on hold while you wait through a sea of other people waiting to be with their loved ones as well.

I could talk about how the time line, although frustrating at times has given people some sort of clue as to when the waiting will end.

I could go on about how connecting with people online going through the same process has been an enormous source of comfort for me. I could encourage you and tell you that you are not alone but clearly as you've stated, those words don't help you.

So I will simply say that I wish you the best in your journey, no matter how short or long it may be and I hope that you and the woman you fell in love with will be very happy for the rest of your lives.

Best of luck.

[RyaNRiza 1]

It sounds like you're quite dissatisfied with this site. If being involved and speaking with people who are going through similar situations to you is so bothersome and boring, perhaps an online forum is not the best place for you. You point to the people who are going faster than you, but what of those who are going slower? The people who have been out there for 9 months that still have not gotten the NOA2. Everyone here is separated from their fiancees, Some have been separated for years, some have not dated much in years. We all have our own negative experiences. But hey, our thoughts, feelings, advice, experiences, support and friendship aren't real to you.

I hope that you can find something that makes you happy, and something to do as you wait. Please try not to let the time get you down, or other's successes either.

[mox 298]

The moderater took the liberty of moving my thread and I thought it had been deleted. Thanks Laura & Nick for telling me what was going on. I posted my timeline as suggested. Happy now? I'm not. Nobody told me there's another reason to post a timeline. You can get an automatic comparison of 30 of K-1 visa seekers who started when I did. Of the 30 I saw 19 are at the NOA2 stage and Mr. Lucky (me) is trailing behind with the rest.

I also noticed another pattern on people who can't comprehend how one can feel "not engaged". Nearly all of them were 10-20 years younger than me. I'm 43 and you get more cynical as you age especially if you've been involuntarily single for a long time. Hopefully, you'll never have to find out how that feels. My financee (33) as a similar outlook. Both of us thought we'd never get married at this rate so we both talk about how weird it is to talk about the elusive finance/financee.

Both of us have lived alone for about 10 years so we aren't "clingy" types with friends and our families live far away. We both have 100% support of respective families so we aren't eloping. No offense but I'm pre-Internet so I don't get much from words of encouragement from posters online. You're even less "real" to me than my engagement but I do appreciate the useful advice given by some posters.

Huh. So what is it exactly that you want from people here? You want them to be as unhappy and cynical as you are?

I'm not far behind you in age, so I disagree that you get more cynical as you age. That's complete bullshit. You're cynical because you choose to be cynical. So man up, grow a pair, and be happy that you're getting married and that this time next year you and your sweetheart are going to be together. You are unhappy because you choose to be unhappy. So here's a thought: choose happiness. You'll be happier and healthier because of it.

[KitEEgirl 0]

While the distance can be frustrating. Would anyone go honestly go through this process unless they really wanted to marry their SO? Remember we never choose who we love!

[Robyn-n-Kris 72]

While the distance can be frustrating. Would anyone go honestly go through this process unless they really wanted to marry their SO? Remember we never choose who we love!

I cannot agree more on this. i can honeslty say that because of going through this you are forced to learn to communicate with your SO... to understand each other... to talk, work through concerns, worries and anxieties together. That is one of the foundations that is lacking in many relationships. This makes a very strong bond and one that is beyond most people's comprehension. As much as I hate the distance between Kris and I our life together will be better because of it in the end.

And this community has been a god-send through it all.

[Jeraly 4]

While the distance can be frustrating. Would anyone go honestly go through this process unless they really wanted to marry their SO? Remember we never choose who we love!

I cannot agree more on this. i can honeslty say that because of going through this you are forced to learn to communicate with your SO... to understand each other... to talk, work through concerns, worries and anxieties together. That is one of the foundations that is lacking in many relationships. This makes a very strong bond and one that is beyond most people's comprehension. As much as I hate the distance between Kris and I our life together will be better because of it in the end.

And this community has been a god-send through it all.

I must say I was really dubious about marrying my OH for the sake of being together - we lokoed at other options. It has only been through this process that I have developed an understanding that this is the man I really do want to marry and it has been fantastic. Ok - so my NOA2 took five months. Great. So VSC is currently churning out NOA2s in less than a month? I don't really care tbh - all that matters is that I have come this far and I love my OH - eventually we will be together to start our new journey through life together and who knows where that will lead us?

As for timelines - I like filling mine in because it makes me feel like something is happening. The more dates and info you have, the more you realise you aren't just lost in the system I don't g et jealous about others - why should I? Everyone is different, the consulates are different so why beat myself up about it? Instead I take interest in others, make friends and empathise. It helps others to see how your journey has been and maybe even feel a bit better that even though they have been waiting a month, there are people who waited a lot longer. I feel lucky that I waited only five months when there are currently people who are still waiting at the 7-8 month mark...

Personally, I think it all depends on how you want to look at it. If you want to spend time being miserable, jealous, bitter and impatient, then you are going to be in for a rough ride the whole way through. If you want to be supportive, empathetic, happy with each day that passes knowing it brings you closer to your loved one, then you will find you will make friends, share common experiences and take joy in the small milestones, even if they do make other people jealous.

[rebeccajo 14]

I don't think the OP is impatient. I just think he doens't feel compelled to 'watch the clock' like most of us do (or did as in my case). So whatever works for him.

And maybe he is saying he doesn't feel engaged because she is so far away and because the process is - well, weird. It certainly isn't the conventional 'engagement' situation.

If you want to use the info here, then fine. If you want to post your experiences with the service, then fine.

If you don't, then don't. It's really quite simple.

Edited April 3, 2008 by rebeccajo

[KimandRuss 0]

The moderater took the liberty of moving my thread and I thought it had been deleted. Thanks Laura & Nick for telling me what was going on. I posted my timeline as suggested. Happy now? I'm not. Nobody told me there's another reason to post a timeline. You can get an automatic comparison of 30 of K-1 visa seekers who started when I did. Of the 30 I saw 19 are at the NOA2 stage and Mr. Lucky (me) is trailing behind with the rest.

I also noticed another pattern on people who can't comprehend how one can feel "not engaged". Nearly all of them were 10-20 years younger than me. I'm 43 and you get more cynical as you age especially if you've been involuntarily single for a long time. Hopefully, you'll never have to find out how that feels. My financee (33) as a similar outlook. Both of us thought we'd never get married at this rate so we both talk about how weird it is to talk about the elusive finance/financee.

Both of us have lived alone for about 10 years so we aren't "clingy" types with friends and our families live far away. We both have 100% support of respective families so we aren't eloping. No offense but I'm pre-Internet so I don't get much from words of encouragement from posters online. You're even less "real" to me than my engagement but I do appreciate the useful advice given by some posters.

Huh. So what is it exactly that you want from people here? You want them to be as unhappy and cynical as you are?

I'm not far behind you in age, so I disagree that you get more cynical as you age. That's complete bullshit. You're cynical because you choose to be cynical. So man up, grow a pair, and be happy that you're getting married and that this time next year you and your sweetheart are going to be together. You are unhappy because you choose to be unhappy. So here's a thought: choose happiness. You'll be happier and healthier because of it.

Amen to that brother Mox!

There's no need to be rude...it doesn't help anybody. Wisdom comes with more things than just age. I'm 38 btw. It's not so much what happens to you, but what you do with it and how you let it effect you. How you deal with it... is a choice.

So, 19 out of 30 people around you (on VJ) have been approved. See now I would look at that and say to myself...wow, my approval is surely coming any time now! Obviously you choose the glass half empty approach and that's fine, it's your choice, but attacking another member(s) on VJ for recommending it, is not fine.

Most of us here communicate with the people we love via the internet so getting support from the people here and connecting with each other is second nature. Perhaps that has something to do with why you don't 'feel' engaged in the first place. Attacking others for their opinions regarding something you initially brought up is unfair.

VJ's timelines are based on VJ users which make up a very small percentage of the total number of petitions the USCIS receives. The timelines are meant only to give you an idea. Take from it what you will. It could very well be that most of the people who filed when you did are still waiting.

Whatever the case, I will assume that you will not be joining us for 'tea' and wish all the best with the remainder of your process and your new life with your SO.

[alienlovechild 75]

You want them to be as unhappy and cynical as you are? I'm not far behind you in age, so I disagree that you get more cynical as you age. That's complete bullshit. You're cynical because you choose to be cynical. So man up, grow a pair, and be happy that you're getting married and that this time next year you and your sweetheart are going to be together. You are unhappy because you choose to be unhappy. So here's a thought: choose happiness. You'll be happier and healthier because of it.

Sorry Mox about breaking you down with my first post. I was unaware that my cynicism could spread to you so easily. I was talking about my case and you got the subliminal message I was referring to you. Dont' confuse age with maturity. . . "complete bullshit" and "grow a pair" indeed. I could care less about how happy or unhappy you are nor was I taking a poll of some sort.