Adopting a child

[Mark UK 3]

Dear all,

My wife and I are happily married and have been since I moved over here about 18 months ago. My wife has some adult children and cannot have any more natural children due to not wanting/being able to have any more after giving birth to her youngest daughter from her previous marriage.

As a younger husband who hasn't had kids of his own, this is quite upsetting as I love kids and would dearly love to have one of my own. But it is sadly not to be. As an alternative, we've briefly spoken about adoption but I'm not sure whether this would be possible at the moment. I'm a GC holder (conditional) and am not yet a USC. I certainly plan to become one as soon as I can but it's probably a couple of years away right now and my wife is now nearly 50.

Has anyone had any experiences adopting in our situation. Will the fact that I'm not a USC exclude me from being able to adopt? I know that there is apparently a 2 year waiting list in PA and by the time I'm a USC, my wife will be 50 - which might count against us too.

Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.

M

[Kotenochek 0]

sorry i know nothing about it,but i am happy people like you exist..I will follow this tread since i want to adobt later with my hudband more kids after we have our own:)

[mnieto 2]

Mark, unfortunately I don't know anything about adoption procedures, either. But just wanted to tell you how great your attitude is. There are so many unwanted kids out there who are longing for a safe home. I hope that you'll become a Dad to one of them real soon! All the best to you and your wife!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Same here Mark - you are an amazingly kind human being . Best of luck in your adoption journey.

[Kotenochek 0]

I am not sure but i heard you should have quite a bit paid morgage on your house...and should have a stable job...but citizenship might be a problem..But there is some other process you can do before adoption,baby still can live with youand you can take care of him or her,but legally you can adopt later..I think you should search more into adoption rules...maybe there is a blog about it...

[Kotenochek 0]

Here are some pages:

http://www.littleangeladoptions.com/

http://adoptionblogs.typepad.com/

http://www.nationalcasa.org/about_us/index.html

Just search on google.and you will find all info you need...

[Cassie 8]

Depending on what avenue you go through (state or private), each may have a rule about that. I would do some investigating, starting with the state (usually they have a website with details about adopting for that state). My husband and I are thinking about adopting as well, but we are waiting for now -- partly because of my status, partly for other reasons. I would be interested in seeing what you find out in this matter.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

It really depends on what type of adoption you are talking about. International adoption could be precluded or at the minimum rather difficult combining your wife's age with your immigration status. But there are some countries that might make exceptions for an older special needs child. I'm really referring to an infant. Domestic adoption also varies based on a private adoption, a state or public adoption or a foster/adopt program. If you are considering domestic public adoption the rules are often specific to the state you live in. The Federal gov't has a website (www.adoptuskids.org) that has a resource center that provides some information, but the best resource is local. Go to your state office of children and family services website (not the local level but the state level) and they will identify the specific rules you must follow. Of course, you always have the option of working with an adoption attorney who can connect you with a family that privately agrees to give their child to you and handle the adoption directly through the courts yourself. Then you aren't hindered by the specific rules of the agency you may choose to work with. Agency rules vary as widely as religion, age, weight, race, marital status, etc. They can be as specific as they want to. I was once rejected because I was in an interracial marraige.

Good Luck!

Adopting a child is a wonderful blessing to the lives of everyone involved.