Tell me its not me

[terrie/kamal 0]

I am having a difficult day today. And i hope someone can tell me its not me. My husband is part of whats bothering me. I feel like things aren't the same since the wedding. The romance that was first there is gone. Instead of saying my name or honey, or babe or something like that, he will sit in the other room saying "hello" to get my attention. I broke down today telling him that sometimes i wonder if he didn't marry me for the green card. I know he loves me, but boy oh boy he sure has a wierd way of showing that once in a while.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I am having a difficult day today. And i hope someone can tell me its not me. My husband is part of whats bothering me. I feel like things aren't the same since the wedding. The romance that was first there is gone. Instead of saying my name or honey, or babe or something like that, he will sit in the other room saying "hello" to get my attention. I broke down today telling him that sometimes i wonder if he didn't marry me for the green card. I know he loves me, but boy oh boy he sure has a wierd way of showing that once in a while.

Terrie - I'm sorry that you are going thru this - it is frustration but I think your need to initiate a positive conversation with you husband on the topic expressing your concerns and calmly discussing same with him - make him understand that you care and want your husband back but I don't think that the "green card" insinuation is the right approach - it may just have the opposite effect - there might be other things that are bothering him and I hope that you will find the way to get to him...

Hope that things will work out for you both...(((HUGS)))

[♥Sora_9_Dam3a♥ 0]

i'm terrible at giving advice, but i know how to give hugs

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

feel better, babe, i hope all goes well for you, insha allah...

[terrie/kamal 0]

i'm terrible at giving advice, but i know how to give hugs

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

feel better, babe, i hope all goes well for you, insha allah...

Thanks i so needed one of them.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Oh Terrie...I hope that things work out..I agree I would have an open positive discussion w/ur husband...let him know how you feel...and go from there....

[ayesha4akram 0]

I don't know what to say, other than to sit down and have a talk with him (calmly). I have you in my prayers, and sending you a big <<<<hug>>>>> . I'm here for you if you need to talk, just send message. May Allah bless you Ameen.

Ayesha

[amal 4]

It's TOTALLY not you!!! We had the same conversation today for like 4 hours. and he's been here since 05!!! As I said in the daily thread.... Ifeel ur pain. We should get together outside here and have a real time chat in yahoo or something. You aren't alone and u need to know that!!!

[doodlebugg 10]

I agree with sitting down and having a calm talk with no mention of green card intentions. Often men keep things inside and who knows what is really going on you know? let him know he can open up to you and trust you with what is troubling him.

[sereia 0]

if it isn't the green card thing.. he's obviously taking you for granted. maybe you just need to talk to him calmly about how you miss the way he was romantic at first...it may not help anything, but at least you tried all things to make it better!

[amal 4]

Maaaaan I wish that worked for us...

I hope it works better for u than it did us..

[sereia 0]

i was trying to be positive with the advice, amal!!! maybe it works for SOMEONE out there?

Edited March 31, 2008 by sereia

[amal 4]

oh, i'm sorry... I think she and I are in about the same boat "feelings wise" so i shouldn't even be posting in here. I just want her to know that she isn't alone and that there are a lot of us who have BAD BAD days too hahaha and I'm usually the positive one ... man how things change

[sereia 0]

i was just teasing ya. you know i've been there plenty too! *hugs*

[aj1 1]

You are in my prayers and in my thoughts hun. But i would definetely talk to with him, and if he loves you which i am sure he does than he will understand how you feel and you will both be able to work things out like i know you can.

AJ1

[tammy2688 1]

You know husbands kinda take wive's for granted no matter what. Like you know after a few days or months or years of knowing they got you, its like whatever. This will pass Terrie, they need space sometimes, as we all do. But ya it is important to bring it up, he might get around feeling like you are always going to be there for him so he doesn't need to make an effort and realize that you are valuable and spent your money and time and gave him so much love. Pray to Allah, God, what you wish to call the Almighty and you will find peace. I hate to see that people forget those first moments, and stop saything things like thank you, or sweetheart, you give your love faithfully and the Lord will reward you, that is true.

We all love you and will be here for you.

Tammy