Keeping it a secret from his parents, will our marriage be flagged as fraud?

[buzzy777 0]

I don't know where to put this topic....but anyways.........

My fiance and I are planning to keep our marriage a secret, since his parents are against me, and he lives far away from them anyway. We are planning to have a civil wedding once my visa is approved. I don't really agree keeping our marriage a secret, because one day, his parents will still know however we hide it from them. But I am okay for now since I think I can change the view of my fiance when we are already married. (People change). And I am not a bad person anyway. I believe, if I will just have the chance meeting his family in person, they will change their minds about me, and begin to love me, and accept me as their daughter-in-law. At first, they will be mad at me or at him, but parents will always forgive. But for now, I will agree to what he wants, to keep it a secret. (Although it hurts.)

Anyways, just some facts about us. Our age gap is just two years, and we met while he was working here in the Philippines. We really do have same interests, educational attainment, etc... We will process all the legal documents, and live as a married couple. In fact, we were already living together before he went back to US. So we really know each other very well, and of course love each other. But I am just worried about keeping the future marriage a secret from his parents.

So in case, we still haven't told his parents about our marriage for like 2 years (which i don't think is possible). Will we be questioned for fraud?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I dont know about your embassy but mine thinks alot of family involvement and the more we can show of this the better it is. I would be more to question him as to the reason for the secret and dont go into this marrige thinking someone will change, they usually dont.

[melusine 5]

i tend to agree that people do not change (or if they do they will on their own) but anyway.

The marriage (and love) is perfectly fine and legal... you do not marry his parents anyway...

Be carefull about the statement : when they will meet me everything gonna be fine, i would suggest to keep a neutral mind about that and to don't expect much. What you know right now is that they are not ready to accept it. After a few years, their point of view might change, and this is totally up to them. Stay who you are, happy with your sweety and don't bother much about them.

It might be that after you guyz will start a family (they become grand parents) and a lots of years together they will just come to the point that after all it's fine !

Don't think about it much, relax and enjoy the love you have with yuor sweety, this is what is the most important.

[motu 6]

For K1 you do not need to show any family involvement or approval - neither for AOS nor for Removal of Conditions Nor for citizenship. Its just your and his personal life in wanting to have his parents involved with his wife/kids/life or not. Do not worry about the visa aspect of this - there is NONE. Good Luck

[brnidokiegurl 0]

This is true to get the visa on K1 but again will he have a struggle being put in the middle of all this maybe his relationship is not that close to family so it wont be a prob most of the time and hopefully the family will come around. Are you sure the family really feels this way or is it just that he feels they will feel this way. I think i would be open to them and let them make the choice, sometimes its just a matter of them not being real educated on the situation and the things that will be takeing place

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I agree with Motu - it shouldn't be a problem with the K-1. The relationship the Consulate want to see is between the two of you - and not everyone has a good relationship with their own family.

My then fiance/now husband lives a long way away from his family and didn't mention anything about me to his sisters because his family didn't agree with his divorce (it happened 6 years before we met) and they had been good friends with his ex. When we got the NOA2 he told his family that we would be getting married. His sisters didn't approve although his Mom was more receptive. When we finally got a chance to meet in person after our marriage (we went to visit them) everything did resolve itself and they have been very supportive ever since. We are all now friends and they all make us very welcome whenever we visit. Good luck to you both. I hope that his family eventually comes around as well.

Edited March 30, 2008 by Kathryn41

[sj5 4]

no, is not a problem.

[nane1104 146]

I remember, when I had my interview, that they asked me about both our families and the relationship we had to the other ones family. Fortunately for me, I knew his parents and he knew mine at this point and everything was fine and dandy, but I think as lomg as you can just truthfully answer why you don't have a relationship with your future-in-laws, there should be no problem.

The relationship with your future husband is what counts!!

[jom 4]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. As what the other posters said, family approval or knowledge of the engagement/wedding are not requirements for the success of the whole process. If your fiance is willing to go through it despite the disapproval of his parents, it only shows his sincerity, defying the wishes of his parents to be with you here. That is true love.

I wish you all the best and hopefully when his family will get to know you they will change their minds and accept you as the right person for their son.

You are in my prayers.

Myla