What country is the most challenging for LDR/visa journey?

[Imua 0]

I have only spoken to my husband briefly once and had one short offline message during the last week. The last thing I heard he was going to his home village in Southern Nepal, where in recent months there have been strikes, shoot-on-sight curfews(his family has had to do their 'business' in a bucket indoors because they were afraid to go out to the outhouse) , roadblocks... Daily power outtages for several hours a day are taken for granted so most days lately I have not heard from him. The phone service frankly sucks, both landline and mobile. There have been recent fuel shortages. Frequently there are general strikes called because the leader of some union or political party is having a bad hair day. There is an election coming up where the country will probably decide to get rid of the monarchy - who knows what it will be like a mere 2 months from now when I visit??? I would venture to say that no matter how strong our relationship might be, Nepal has to be one of the toughest countries to have an SO from and dealing with the distance. If your SO is a trekking guide it is even tougher since they go for weeks sometimes with no mobile or email access... The mail service is prone to theft and unreliability. I have heard that KTM is a pretty easy-going embassy though so maybe that makes up for it - they probably figure you've gone through hell already so your relationship has to be strong and genuine...

So I am wondering which are the toughest countries in dealing with the LDR and visa process - I was thinking of making a poll but obviously there are too many options. I imagine some MENA and Sub-Saharan African countries are pretty difficult, but wondering if any others are really challenging - what are the difficulties you have had to face?

Edited March 29, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[*JG* 2]

I personally think they all have their own downfalls. The further away from the US, the harder the travel is. I could not sit on a plane for all those long hours of flight. And, the cost of the flights will only go up with the rise in gas prices. The more "bush" the city or country is, the harder it is to count on the reliability of the phone systems.

My husband is from Jamaica. It's only a 3 hour direct flight from here. Costs were actually reasonable when I had to travel. Jamaican phone was hit and miss. The electric often went out. When I visited, we were frequently without electric or water at his house. Violence seems to be a way of life in Jamaica. He had 6 dogs prowling his yard and a locked fence for safety. Disagreements are often wrought with violence, as the machette is a popular way to deal with arguments, and the threat of needless violence errupting for no apparent reason is always in the back of your mind. Guns are overly abundant, as well as the the spread of HIV. It seems everyone can be bought. The police and government are as corrupt as they come and often foster the violence. Warring political parties are a way of life in Jamaica as promises unkept and using people's lives for political gains are neverending.

3rd world countries are the worst, IMO.

[SnowyTater 0]

A couple months ago I was looking around the forums and came across someone who's SO is in Palestine or Gaza one...just from the timeline and the one post I read it seemed really, really really horrible for them

I don't remember the exacts but basically they first filed like two or three years ago, and they've been stuck in limbo trying to get the interview for months and months now. The timeline read that they'd had an interview scheduled, and then couldn't make it, and had to reschedule, like four or five times. The problem was the embassy the guy had to go to was in Israel and the troops would never actually let him through At the time of the post they were trying to get the embassy changed to Jordan but I don't know if they ever succeeded :\

My husband is from Jamaica. It's only a 3 hour direct flight from here. Costs were actually reasonable when I had to travel. Jamaican phone was hit and miss. The electric often went out. When I visited, we were frequently without electric or water at his house. Violence seems to be a way of life in Jamaica. He had 6 dogs prowling his yard and a locked fence for safety. Disagreements are often wrought with violence, as the machette is a popular way to deal with arguments, and the threat of needless violence errupting for no apparent reason is always in the back of your mind. Guns are overly abundant, as well as the the spread of HIV. It seems everyone can be bought. The police and government are as corrupt as they come and often foster the violence. Warring political parties are a way of life in Jamaica as promises unkept and using people's lives for political gains are neverending.

I had no idea Jamaica was like that I thought Jamaica was nice. Wow...um...well glad you guys made it Must not be fun to go through, I'm sorry.

Edited March 30, 2008 by SnowyTater

[Amby 490]

wow that is so horrible! after reading both of your stories I have no reason to complain about the process coming from England at all! hope you talk to your husband soon!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Canada.

[2ond journey 0]

I have only spoken to my husband briefly once and had one short offline message during the last week. The last thing I heard he was going to his home village in Southern Nepal, where in recent months there have been strikes, shoot-on-sight curfews(his family has had to do their 'business' in a bucket indoors because they were afraid to go out to the outhouse) , roadblocks... Daily power outtages for several hours a day are taken for granted so most days lately I have not heard from him. The phone service frankly sucks, both landline and mobile. There have been recent fuel shortages. Frequently there are general strikes called because the leader of some union or political party is having a bad hair day. There is an election coming up where the country will probably decide to get rid of the monarchy - who knows what it will be like a mere 2 months from now when I visit??? I would venture to say that no matter how strong our relationship might be, Nepal has to be one of the toughest countries to have an SO from and dealing with the distance. If your SO is a trekking guide it is even tougher since they go for weeks sometimes with no mobile or email access... The mail service is prone to theft and unreliability. I have heard that KTM is a pretty easy-going embassy though so maybe that makes up for it - they probably figure you've gone through hell already so your relationship has to be strong and genuine...

So I am wondering which are the toughest countries in dealing with the LDR and visa process - I was thinking of making a poll but obviously there are too many options. I imagine some MENA and Sub-Saharan African countries are pretty difficult, but wondering if any others are really challenging - what are the difficulties you have had to face?

My husband is from Pakistan . When I visited him, a week later the army came in his town and started bombing the next town over. It was very dangerous part of Pakistan at that time. I did hear some big bombs. After I left I guess it got worse and kurfee was for long periods of time. From what he told me....they would give one warning shot if you were outside.... then if you didnt listen they would shoot you. I was very worried for his safety and his families.

As far as talking to him though, his internet has been good. We talk about 5-6 hours daily. He calls me daily also. He set up his mobile so I could call him anytime of the day or night. So getting in touch with him ,or us talking online has not been a problem"thank god".

I laughed alittle when I read your post about them "doing thier business in the bucket". I happen to live in a cabin in Alaska , with no running water. It gets about -45 in the winter. The outhouse is kind of far back. Do you think i went out to the outhouse? Hell no. I understand what thats like. I will be getting an apartment next month though and hopefully things will be better for me soon. If nothing....at least I can say i lived like a pioneer , in a cabin, out in the woods, with no running water for one year.

When I visit him its always a long long flight. Around 53 hours of it. I have a 14 hour layover in Dubia. Its so long becouse i am coming from Alaska ,and just to get down to "Lower 48" it takes about 15 hours alone. Well thats my struggles so far I hope someday it gets better and we can be together soon. Good luck to and your journey

[Yoink 7]

A couple months ago I was looking around the forums and came across someone who's SO is in Palestine or Gaza one...just from the timeline and the one post I read it seemed really, really really horrible for them

I don't remember the exacts but basically they first filed like two or three years ago, and they've been stuck in limbo trying to get the interview for months and months now. The timeline read that they'd had an interview scheduled, and then couldn't make it, and had to reschedule, like four or five times. The problem was the embassy the guy had to go to was in Israel and the troops would never actually let him through At the time of the post they were trying to get the embassy changed to Jordan but I don't know if they ever succeeded :\

My husband is from Jamaica. It's only a 3 hour direct flight from here. Costs were actually reasonable when I had to travel. Jamaican phone was hit and miss. The electric often went out. When I visited, we were frequently without electric or water at his house. Violence seems to be a way of life in Jamaica. He had 6 dogs prowling his yard and a locked fence for safety. Disagreements are often wrought with violence, as the machette is a popular way to deal with arguments, and the threat of needless violence errupting for no apparent reason is always in the back of your mind. Guns are overly abundant, as well as the the spread of HIV. It seems everyone can be bought. The police and government are as corrupt as they come and often foster the violence. Warring political parties are a way of life in Jamaica as promises unkept and using people's lives for political gains are neverending.

I had no idea Jamaica was like that I thought Jamaica was nice. Wow...um...well glad you guys made it Must not be fun to go through, I'm sorry.

People from the West Bank and Gaza do not get visas from Israel... here is a page directly from the US consulate in Jerusalem- if there was a problem it was with the border control of Egypt and Jordan.

Immigrant Visas

Step 1: Petition

HOW CAN I LIVE PERMANENTLY IN THE UNITED STATES?

If a member of your immediate family is a U.S. citizen, he/she may petition for you to obtain immigrant status.

If your spouse or parent is a legal permanent resident (green card holder), he/she may petition for you to obtain immigrant status.

If you qualify for an employment-based immigrant visa, your prospective-employer may petition for you to obtain immigrant status. In certain cases, you may petition for yourself.

If you are a citizen of a qualifying country, you may apply for the annual Diversity Immigrant Visa Program. Please note that when completing your application on line for the 2009 Diversity Visa, you must take into the considerationthe following information regarding your place of birth:

***If you were born in the West Bank or East Jerusalem you are charged to Jordan, ASIA.

***If you were born in GAza you are charged to Egypt, AFRICA.

Edited April 12, 2008 by Grandoner

[bora bora 1]

I agree that it'd be very hard to be in an LDR with someone who lived on the other side of the world. The plane tickets are expensive, the time difference would making talking more difficult....

[rebeccajo 14]

The very reason this thread is up is the reason I wish VJ would do away with the Regional Forums.

You learn a lot about other countries and cultures when you read the accounts of people from other parts of the world.

Before VJ had regional forums, we were all 'forced' to hang out together. It made it a lot easier to see how somebody else might just have it tougher than you.

[almaty 19]

Canada.

the UK

[Amby 490]

Canada.

the UK

yeah the UK is hell. it was so hard

jk...pattu how is your husband now? speak to him yet?

[rebeccajo 14]

Canada.

the UK

yeah the UK is hell. it was so hard

jk...pattu how is your husband now? speak to him yet?

I'd go mad if I couldn't talk to my husband for days and knew there was unrest where he was living.

[Zee Bee 61]

I think that anyone that has to fly over the ocean to see their SO has a hard time with LDR. I also think that some have it better than others.

For a lot of people with SOs from non-VWP countrues it is the USC that has to travel. In a lot of cases the SO cannot get a visa to come visit the US. The USC has to take time off work and arrange care for their kids (if they have any). And then springing for a ticket that is so freaking hella expensive.

I should be happy that at least Ghana is a relatively stable country and I do not have to worry about my fiance's safety. It is relatively easy to get in touch with my fiance, even though the phone lines have their moments. There is no home internet access, so we do not do webcams or anything like that. I wish that is was cheaper to call. I wish more airlines went there (maybe that would reduce the price of tickets, I have no idea). I wish I could afford to go more often. I wish my SO could get a visa to come and visit me and see my world before he made the decision to move here. I wish that the embassy could schedule interviews a lot sooner (4-5 month wait).

But those are the cards we have been dealt. I have only been able to see him once a year since we first met. Thank goodness that is coming to an end soon.

[shadtov 0]

I think that anyone that has to fly over the ocean to see their SO has a hard time with LDR. I also think that some have it better than others.

For a lot of people with SOs from non-VWP countrues it is the USC that has to travel. In a lot of cases the SO cannot get a visa to come visit the US. The USC has to take time off work and arrange care for their kids (if they have any). And then springing for a ticket that is so freaking hella expensive.

I should be happy that at least Ghana is a relatively stable country and I do not have to worry about my fiance's safety. It is relatively easy to get in touch with my fiance, even though the phone lines have their moments. There is no home internet access, so we do not do webcams or anything like that. I wish that is was cheaper to call. I wish more airlines went there (maybe that would reduce the price of tickets, I have no idea). I wish I could afford to go more often. I wish my SO could get a visa to come and visit me and see my world before he made the decision to move here. I wish that the embassy could schedule interviews a lot sooner (4-5 month wait).

But those are the cards we have been dealt. I have only been able to see him once a year since we first met. Thank goodness that is coming to an end soon.

That's an interesting point, when the SO cannot get a visa to the US. I wonder how many relationships were stopped short b/c the SO couldn't get a visa and it was too dangerous for the USC to travel to the SO's country.

I think we were lucky because my job was pretty flexible. I had 4 weeks of vacation and I used it up every year with visits. And lucky, again, in terms of proximity, meaning much cheaper flights than I imagine most of you had to pay. I can't imagine what so many of you have had to go through.

The poster from Alaska had an interesting point, too. I hadn't considered how the USC's location would make the process more difficult. We've never lived more than an hour from our local office, either. I think about those couples who have to drive hours just to get an infopass appt.

How have those of you with SO's without visas dealt with your SO and your family? My husband really wanted to meet my family before marrying into it. We were able to fly him north to the US border and have my family drive across. That definitely wouldn't have been possible without a shared border.

I used to whine that he couldn't get a visa, but after reading others' posts, I'll shut up about that.

I'm sorry it's been so impossibly hard for so many.

[Zee Bee 61]

How have those of you with SO's without visas dealt with your SO and your family? My husband really wanted to meet my family before marrying into it. We were able to fly him north to the US border and have my family drive across. That definitely wouldn't have been possible without a shared border.

I used to whine that he couldn't get a visa, but after reading others' posts, I'll shut up about that.

I'm sorry it's been so impossibly hard for so many.

I am lucky because my entire extended family lives in Ghana and my parents, sisters and I go to Ghana every year for vacation. I met my fiance on one of those trips, a happy accident He got to spend a lot of time with my parents and me with his. Our situation makes it easier for everyone to get to know each other.

I cannot imagine meeting someone and agreeing to get married when my parents and sisters haven't met him.