One Small Voice

[Sister Fracas 5]

great letter Terri!

yes, some people are more deserving of expressing pain, grief, annoyance, suffering, etc....I learned that a LONG time ago on VJ.

Edited May 2, 2006 by Frances

[Traviesa 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

Now that I think about it, you're right Lisa. There's no real compelling reason why they should be extended. After all, if you're getting engaged to someone you should probably already know them pretty well...or I would hope so.

[terri o'neale 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

[Sister Fracas 5]

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

I DO have to agree with this...it's not a come-try-it-out visa. Even if someone wants more time to plan the wedding, two years is a bit excessive.

[Traviesa 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

That's just the thing though...you won't get that right to live together because nobody has it (see my previous post). Supreme Court doesn't recognize spouses' right to live together. Until they do, there is no leg to stand on.

[terri o'neale 0]

We all have choices...I choose not to seat back and watch as this situation unfolds but rather to be part of the discussion. If we all did this, we could redirect this process and change our outcomes. Such as positive legislation that would:

1) Change K1 visas from 90 days to two years...so couples could get to know one another better and lower the divorce rate.

2) Allow K3 families to stay together while the process is adjudicated. I mean if the illegals can stay...why can't our spouses?

3) Make certain that whatever law gets passed includes funding for more USCIS personnel so that our cases don't get back logged like happened in 1986.

4) Allow for more family visas for non-spouses...I heaard that Phillipine families are waiting 18 years to bring over family members.

Your ideas sound good actually. The most important one I think is addressing the backlog. Allowing spouses to stay here during the processing time would not logistically work out, because there are security issues to be considered.

But what about the security issues of our borders? What I'm railing so loudly against isn't my situation...but the unfairness of a system that rewards those who choose illegal means and punishes those that obey the laws. If my neighbors can live in my country without any security checks...my government totaally unaware of their presence...where is the harm in allowing our spouses to remain? The government would at least know of their presence and where to locate them. See the point?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

I DO have to agree with this...it's not a come-try-it-out visa. Even if someone wants more time to plan the wedding, two years is a bit excessive.

If they could eliminate the backlogs on the CR1/IR1 visas, the K1 wouldn't even be necessary IMO.

[terri o'neale 0]

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

I DO have to agree with this...it's not a come-try-it-out visa. Even if someone wants more time to plan the wedding, two years is a bit excessive.

If they could eliminate the backlogs on the CR1/IR1 visas, the K1 wouldn't even be necessary IMO.

Why do you say that? I just feel that you don't know someone until you live with them. We are extremely lucky. My Husband works for himself...so he can take extended hoildays. We have gotten to spend much more time together than many/most people on here. So I know we work well together...but like I said what I'm trying...perhaps ineffectually to communicate is...the unfairness of a system. And our abilities to actually change that system if we choose to have a voice in this current debate.

[Traviesa 0]

We all have choices...I choose not to seat back and watch as this situation unfolds but rather to be part of the discussion. If we all did this, we could redirect this process and change our outcomes. Such as positive legislation that would:

1) Change K1 visas from 90 days to two years...so couples could get to know one another better and lower the divorce rate.

2) Allow K3 families to stay together while the process is adjudicated. I mean if the illegals can stay...why can't our spouses?

3) Make certain that whatever law gets passed includes funding for more USCIS personnel so that our cases don't get back logged like happened in 1986.

4) Allow for more family visas for non-spouses...I heaard that Phillipine families are waiting 18 years to bring over family members.

Your ideas sound good actually. The most important one I think is addressing the backlog. Allowing spouses to stay here during the processing time would not logistically work out, because there are security issues to be considered.

But what about the security issues of our borders? What I'm railing so loudly against isn't my situation...but the unfairness of a system that rewards those who choose illegal means and punishes those that obey the laws. If my neighbors can live in my country without any security checks...my government totaally unaware of their presence...where is the harm in allowing our spouses to remain? The government would at least know of their presence and where to locate them. See the point?

Again, I hesitate to use the word punished. We're not actually being punished-unless of course you have broken the law, then you are punished. Also, if there is an amnesty that passes, those who will benefit under the guest worker program and the Family Unity section will undergo the same security checks as anyone else-if you've got offenses in your past (or even if you licked some cocaine a few months ago) they're not going to let them back in. They have ways of knowing, believe you me. Fingerprint checks do not lie. In effect, what the government is doing-not that I like it any more because of it-is cleaning house. They attract all those undocumented illegals roaming around, check them, and give them status or don't allow them back, depending on the individual.

[Fandango 1,440]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

You want the honest truth? I don't have a problem with the logistics of the visa process. I know that sounds ridiculous, especially since we're not even filed until the end of this month...but at the end of the day, I don't mind the scrutiny or the time because I know my relationship can hold water with them. I also am prepared for a long wait...cos let's face it, if we're all so gung-ho about no 'illegals', well then the gov't needs time to discern who is and who isn't. You can't really have it both ways, unfortunately.

I knew, long ago, that when we started officially dating, that there would be many hurdles and obstacles along the way with a dual-nationality couple. And once we decided to marry, I knew that it was not going to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, life throws ya curveballs & #######, and you just have to deal.

Terri, please don't misunderstand me...I agree with many points you've made. I think you kinda lost me with the 'worst day of my life'...and that's prolly wrong of me cos I'm not in your shoes. But at the end of the day, you all are healthy and safe, got food on the table, and a roof over your heads...so seriously, how could some illegal protests be the worst day of your life? There are people who've experienced death of loved ones, illness, etc...and not that I'm diminishing your pain, because I KNOW HOW CHIT IT FEELS TO BE APART from the man you love. But unfortunately, you need to remind yourself that this is the path you chose when you decided to marry, so you just have to accept that it's not going to be the easiest. The illegal immigrants are not the reason you're apart from your husband. It is not their fault. I happen to believe that they don't have a right to be here, but let's face it...if they applied legally...could you imagine your wait then??????? Hah, we should all be thankful right now

Hopefully i'm not coming across as a preachy b!tch...if I am, I'm sorry, but it's not my intention.

[Sister Fracas 5]

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

I DO have to agree with this...it's not a come-try-it-out visa. Even if someone wants more time to plan the wedding, two years is a bit excessive.

If they could eliminate the backlogs on the CR1/IR1 visas, the K1 wouldn't even be necessary IMO.

People will always want to get married in the US though and not have to be separated after the marriage. I don't think it would be a good idea to just let people come over, marry, and stay. I don't see how the backlog of one affects the other.

[terri o'neale 0]

We all have choices...I choose not to seat back and watch as this situation unfolds but rather to be part of the discussion. If we all did this, we could redirect this process and change our outcomes. Such as positive legislation that would:

1) Change K1 visas from 90 days to two years...so couples could get to know one another better and lower the divorce rate.

2) Allow K3 families to stay together while the process is adjudicated. I mean if the illegals can stay...why can't our spouses?

3) Make certain that whatever law gets passed includes funding for more USCIS personnel so that our cases don't get back logged like happened in 1986.

4) Allow for more family visas for non-spouses...I heaard that Phillipine families are waiting 18 years to bring over family members.

Your ideas sound good actually. The most important one I think is addressing the backlog. Allowing spouses to stay here during the processing time would not logistically work out, because there are security issues to be considered.

But what about the security issues of our borders? What I'm railing so loudly against isn't my situation...but the unfairness of a system that rewards those who choose illegal means and punishes those that obey the laws. If my neighbors can live in my country without any security checks...my government totaally unaware of their presence...where is the harm in allowing our spouses to remain? The government would at least know of their presence and where to locate them. See the point?

Again, I hesitate to use the word punished. We're not actually being punished-unless of course you have broken the law, then you are punished. Also, if there is an amnesty that passes, those who will benefit under the guest worker program and the Family Unity section will undergo the same security checks as anyone else-if you've got offenses in your past (or even if you licked some cocaine a few months ago) they're not going to let them back in. They have ways of knowing, believe you me. Fingerprint checks do not lie. In effect, what the government is doing-not that I like it any more because of it-is cleaning house. They attract all those undocumented illegals roaming around, check them, and give them status or don't allow them back, depending on the individual.

Let me clarify what I mean by punished...unless you have completedor almost completed this whole process...or unless there is funding included in the bills to hire more USCIS workers then those of us that are pursuing legal means now will get caught up in a huge backlog at some point in this process. Perhaps Paul will get his K3 visa before this law passes but the process might very well slow to a virtual stoppage during AOS. That is what I meant. It happened during the last amnesty in 1986. 3million applications and no new workers to handle it...imgaine?

[faith 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

You want the honest truth? I don't have a problem with the logistics of the visa process. I know that sounds ridiculous, especially since we're not even filed until the end of this month...but at the end of the day, I don't mind the scrutiny or the time because I know my relationship can hold water with them. I also am prepared for a long wait...cos let's face it, if we're all so gung-ho about no 'illegals', well then the gov't needs time to discern who is and who isn't. You can't really have it both ways, unfortunately.

I knew, long ago, that when we started officially dating, that there would be many hurdles and obstacles along the way with a dual-nationality couple. And once we decided to marry, I knew that it was not going to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, life throws ya curveballs & #######, and you just have to deal.

Terri, please don't misunderstand me...I agree with many points you've made. I think you kinda lost me with the 'worst day of my life'...and that's prolly wrong of me cos I'm not in your shoes. But at the end of the day, you all are healthy and safe, got food on the table, and a roof over your heads...so seriously, how could some illegal protests be the worst day of your life? There are people who've experienced death of loved ones, illness, etc...and not that I'm diminishing your pain, because I KNOW HOW CHIT IT FEELS TO BE APART from the man you love. But unfortunately, you need to remind yourself that this is the path you chose when you decided to marry, so you just have to accept that it's not going to be the easiest. The illegal immigrants are not the reason you're apart from your husband. It is not their fault. I happen to believe that they don't have a right to be here, but let's face it...if they applied legally...could you imagine your wait then??????? Hah, we should all be thankful right now

Hopefully i'm not coming across as a preachy b!tch...if I am, I'm sorry, but it's not my intention.

I gotta chime in here as someone who's been thru it. I agreed earlier when it was said that if that was the worst day of your life you are a lucky person. Each of us have had our own personal hell. I can honestly say at the 2 month point, no I wasn't at the worst point of the process as of then. And of my life? #######, I've had a hell of alot worse happen than my husband being gone for 2 months.

When you start this process you have to know you are in for the long haul. You have to figure it's going to take at least a year to get someone to be able to come here (at least for a K-1). A lot of us have gone through it, some are still going through it. It sucks, but we know our cases weren't different than anyone else's and that we weren't alone. Numerous senators and congressman have told many of us that our kids are NOT a reason for expediting a case. Sad but true.

I think you'll find on here a lot of people that do not sympathize with someone who is upset with the wait after only 2 months. As I said a lot of us have been there done that. *shrugs* Just the way it is.

I do not support illegals, but the illegals have nothing to do with the immigration process taking so long.

BTW the internet creation

Edited May 2, 2006 by faith

[terri o'neale 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

You want the honest truth? I don't have a problem with the logistics of the visa process. I know that sounds ridiculous, especially since we're not even filed until the end of this month...but at the end of the day, I don't mind the scrutiny or the time because I know my relationship can hold water with them. I also am prepared for a long wait...cos let's face it, if we're all so gung-ho about no 'illegals', well then the gov't needs time to discern who is and who isn't. You can't really have it both ways, unfortunately.

I knew, long ago, that when we started officially dating, that there would be many hurdles and obstacles along the way with a dual-nationality couple. And once we decided to marry, I knew that it was not going to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, life throws ya curveballs & #######, and you just have to deal.

Terri, please don't misunderstand me...I agree with many points you've made. I think you kinda lost me with the 'worst day of my life'...and that's prolly wrong of me cos I'm not in your shoes. But at the end of the day, you all are healthy and safe, got food on the table, and a roof over your heads...so seriously, how could some illegal protests be the worst day of your life? There are people who've experienced death of loved ones, illness, etc...and not that I'm diminishing your pain, because I KNOW HOW CHIT IT FEELS TO BE APART from the man you love. But unfortunately, you need to remind yourself that this is the path you chose when you decided to marry, so you just have to accept that it's not going to be the easiest. The illegal immigrants are not the reason you're apart from your husband. It is not their fault. I happen to believe that they don't have a right to be here, but let's face it...if they applied legally...could you imagine your wait then??????? Hah, we should all be thankful right now

Hopefully i'm not coming across as a preachy b!tch...if I am, I'm sorry, but it's not my intention.

I gotta chime in here as someone who's been thru it. I agreed earlier when it was said that if that was the worst day of your life you are a lucky person. Each of us have had our own personal hell. I can honestly say at the 2 month point, no I wasn't at the worst point of the process as of then. And of my life? #######, I've had a hell of alot worse happen than my husband being gone for 2 months.

When you start this process you have to know you are in for the long haul. You have to figure it's going to take at least a year to get someone to be able to come here (at least for a K-1). A lot of us have gone through it, some are still going through it. It sucks, but we know our cases weren't different than anyone else's and that we weren't alone. Numerous senators and congressman have told many of us that our kids are NOT a reason for expediting a case. Sad but true.

I think you'll find on here a lot of people that do not sympathize with someone who is upset with the wait after only 2 months. As I said a lot of us have been there done that. *shrugs* Just the way it is.

I do not support illegals, but the illegals have nothing to do with the immigration process taking so long.

BTW the internet creation

My point was and is...trying to unify and work on positive solutions for EVERYONE. Instead I am being told that I haven't endured enough pain to have a right to voice my opinion. I said earlier I would love for someone with more experience to voice their opinions to the media, their representatives, the world, but obviously they are more worried about attacking those of us that do for not paying our dues as it is.

[faith 0]

We're all apart from our fiancees/husbands/etc. We all are feeling the pain. We don't need to turn on each other.

And I also don't think K1s should be extended from 90 days. so sue me *shrug*

But going back to what was said yesterday about 'illegit' marriages...don't you think it would lower the divorce and the perception in some peoples minds that we are all 'greencard' marriages...if we were given the same right to live together as if we love someone from across town or across the country? that was the reasoning behind that suggestion.

You want the honest truth? I don't have a problem with the logistics of the visa process. I know that sounds ridiculous, especially since we're not even filed until the end of this month...but at the end of the day, I don't mind the scrutiny or the time because I know my relationship can hold water with them. I also am prepared for a long wait...cos let's face it, if we're all so gung-ho about no 'illegals', well then the gov't needs time to discern who is and who isn't. You can't really have it both ways, unfortunately.

I knew, long ago, that when we started officially dating, that there would be many hurdles and obstacles along the way with a dual-nationality couple. And once we decided to marry, I knew that it was not going to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, life throws ya curveballs & #######, and you just have to deal.

Terri, please don't misunderstand me...I agree with many points you've made. I think you kinda lost me with the 'worst day of my life'...and that's prolly wrong of me cos I'm not in your shoes. But at the end of the day, you all are healthy and safe, got food on the table, and a roof over your heads...so seriously, how could some illegal protests be the worst day of your life? There are people who've experienced death of loved ones, illness, etc...and not that I'm diminishing your pain, because I KNOW HOW CHIT IT FEELS TO BE APART from the man you love. But unfortunately, you need to remind yourself that this is the path you chose when you decided to marry, so you just have to accept that it's not going to be the easiest. The illegal immigrants are not the reason you're apart from your husband. It is not their fault. I happen to believe that they don't have a right to be here, but let's face it...if they applied legally...could you imagine your wait then??????? Hah, we should all be thankful right now

Hopefully i'm not coming across as a preachy b!tch...if I am, I'm sorry, but it's not my intention.

I gotta chime in here as someone who's been thru it. I agreed earlier when it was said that if that was the worst day of your life you are a lucky person. Each of us have had our own personal hell. I can honestly say at the 2 month point, no I wasn't at the worst point of the process as of then. And of my life? #######, I've had a hell of alot worse happen than my husband being gone for 2 months.

When you start this process you have to know you are in for the long haul. You have to figure it's going to take at least a year to get someone to be able to come here (at least for a K-1). A lot of us have gone through it, some are still going through it. It sucks, but we know our cases weren't different than anyone else's and that we weren't alone. Numerous senators and congressman have told many of us that our kids are NOT a reason for expediting a case. Sad but true.

I think you'll find on here a lot of people that do not sympathize with someone who is upset with the wait after only 2 months. As I said a lot of us have been there done that. *shrugs* Just the way it is.

I do not support illegals, but the illegals have nothing to do with the immigration process taking so long.

BTW the internet creation

My point was and is...trying to unify and work on positive solutions for EVERYONE. Instead I am being told that I haven't endured enough pain to have a right to voice my opinion. I said earlier I would love for someone with more experience to voice their opinions to the media, their representatives, the world, but obviously they are more worried about attacking those of us that do for not paying our dues as it is.

No one says you don't have the right to voice your opinion. All I said was that there aren't a lot of people that are going to feel that you've been through the same as them because your situation just started. That's all I was saying with that.