Is everyone in Texas FAT?

[HannahP 119]

Although when you're sitting next to me on the airplane, please try to contain your fat within your seat. Just because my bulk does not take up the entire airplane seat does not give you permission to take over.

where is the *zipping my mouth shut so I won't say something rude* smiley when I need it???

Righto.

I was that 70 lb anorexic that I'm sure you've more than stared/gawked/whispered about. For years and years. I'm a "hefty" 90 lbs these days. I'm still worth staring at; I have hundreds of scars up and down my arms.

However, yes, when I get seated next to lady whose bulk does not allow her to put her purse underneath the seat, thus she feels entitled to put it /in my seat/...I get more than just a little bit frustrated. I paid for /my/ seat. Not for someone to have half of my seat!

Righto.

Since I have dealt with my own eating disorder, I'm not a staring/gawking/whispering kind of gal. 'Specially since I get a few looks myself since I am at the other end of the spectrum. So I'm kinda sensitive to it myself. But assume what you wish about me.

The funny, yet frustrating thing being that it's /not okay/ to make fat jokes or fat remarks. I would never, ever be like "Hey, stop eating that sammich" (probably because I'm too busy pinching my own fat) -- I don't notice anyone unless they crowd into my space. Overweight people. Autistics. Crazy Muslim guys who hit on me. Whatever. However, I am routinely glared at and openly told: "Eat a sammich" or "You're a /stick/" or whatever people feel like saying. Because I'm too skinny. And when you live in a (Midwestern) society where overweight is the norm...

[HannahP 119]

Although when you're sitting next to me on the airplane, please try to contain your fat within your seat. Just because my bulk does not take up the entire airplane seat does not give you permission to take over.

where is the *zipping my mouth shut so I won't say something rude* smiley when I need it???

Righto.

I was that 70 lb anorexic that I'm sure you've more than stared/gawked/whispered about. For years and years. I'm a "hefty" 90 lbs these days. I'm still worth staring at; I have hundreds of scars up and down my arms.

However, yes, when I get seated next to lady whose bulk does not allow her to put her purse underneath the seat, thus she feels entitled to put it /in my seat/...I get more than just a little bit frustrated. I paid for /my/ seat. Not for someone to have half of my seat!

Righto.

Since I have dealt with my own eating disorder, I'm not a staring/gawking/whispering kind of gal. 'Specially since I get a few looks myself since I am at the other end of the spectrum. So I'm kinda sensitive to it myself. But assume what you wish about me.

You would think someone who has had an eating disorder would be a little more sensitive. But perhaps I should cut her some slack. She must still be dealing with the same issues that caused the disorder if she is so intolerant.

My intolerance stems from the fact that people are openly "allowed" to ridicule people like myself yet even the mention that someone might be overweight is considered taboo.

[Cassie 8]

Although when you're sitting next to me on the airplane, please try to contain your fat within your seat. Just because my bulk does not take up the entire airplane seat does not give you permission to take over.

where is the *zipping my mouth shut so I won't say something rude* smiley when I need it???

Righto.

I was that 70 lb anorexic that I'm sure you've more than stared/gawked/whispered about. For years and years. I'm a "hefty" 90 lbs these days. I'm still worth staring at; I have hundreds of scars up and down my arms.

However, yes, when I get seated next to lady whose bulk does not allow her to put her purse underneath the seat, thus she feels entitled to put it /in my seat/...I get more than just a little bit frustrated. I paid for /my/ seat. Not for someone to have half of my seat!

Righto.

Since I have dealt with my own eating disorder, I'm not a staring/gawking/whispering kind of gal. 'Specially since I get a few looks myself since I am at the other end of the spectrum. So I'm kinda sensitive to it myself. But assume what you wish about me.

The funny, yet frustrating thing being that it's /not okay/ to make fat jokes or fat remarks. I would never, ever be like "Hey, stop eating that sammich" (probably because I'm too busy pinching my own fat) -- I don't notice anyone unless they crowd into my space. Overweight people. Autistics. Crazy Muslim guys who hit on me. Whatever. However, I am routinely glared at and openly told: "Eat a sammich" or "You're a /stick/" or whatever people feel like saying. Because I'm too skinny. And when you live in a (Midwestern) society where overweight is the norm...

It hasn't stopped people from voicing their opinions in this thread!

With that being said, to me, people telling to you eat because you're too skinny is just as unnecessary as the comments about fat people. I personally would not go up to a stranger and be so bold as to give unsolicited advice about eating, I think it's rude. I am sorry that you have had to go through that.

[GabiandVi 34]

Although when you're sitting next to me on the airplane, please try to contain your fat within your seat. Just because my bulk does not take up the entire airplane seat does not give you permission to take over.

where is the *zipping my mouth shut so I won't say something rude* smiley when I need it???

Righto.

I was that 70 lb anorexic that I'm sure you've more than stared/gawked/whispered about. For years and years. I'm a "hefty" 90 lbs these days. I'm still worth staring at; I have hundreds of scars up and down my arms.

However, yes, when I get seated next to lady whose bulk does not allow her to put her purse underneath the seat, thus she feels entitled to put it /in my seat/...I get more than just a little bit frustrated. I paid for /my/ seat. Not for someone to have half of my seat!

Righto.

Since I have dealt with my own eating disorder, I'm not a staring/gawking/whispering kind of gal. 'Specially since I get a few looks myself since I am at the other end of the spectrum. So I'm kinda sensitive to it myself. But assume what you wish about me.

You would think someone who has had an eating disorder would be a little more sensitive. But perhaps I should cut her some slack. She must still be dealing with the same issues that caused the disorder if she is so intolerant.

My intolerance stems from the fact that people are openly "allowed" to ridicule people like myself yet even the mention that someone might be overweight is considered taboo.

I would never openly ridicule a person like yourself, but I agree, it seems to be acceptable to express opinions about people like you. I think it is wrong, but I agree it is the way things are. However, I disagree that it is considered taboo to mention that a person is overweight. Not only is it not taboo to mention that (and I think most fat people wouldn't care if you simply mentioned it,) it is not taboo to ridicule and to express intolerance for fat people. Not only is it not taboo, it is often done with the attitude that, of course everyone feels this way and why wouldn't they? Fat people are fat because they eat too much. It's a choice, so they are fair game. (I agree that it is something that is ultimately in their control. And perhaps I shouldn't even point this out, but so is your situation.)

[Cassie 8]

My intolerance stems from the fact that people are openly "allowed" to ridicule people like myself yet even the mention that someone might be overweight is considered taboo.

The OP's first post goes way beyond a mere mention about maybe being overweight combined with subsequent posts saying something to the effect of "what are those people thinking? don't they look in a mirror?". I don't see anyone condoning the behaviour you've experienced at all, and as I said before, IMHO it's just as rude as poking fun or whatever at fat people.

This isn't the first thread talking about obese people (plane seat discussion optional, but usually brought up as well), I really wish it was the last. Making comments about obese people isn't as taboo as you may think.

[HannahP 119]

Meh, I go through the days with open ridicule. Gawking. Whatever.

I think, at least in the circles that I move in, it's okay to ridicule someone for being overweight in your head. Obviously, you don't mention it. Maybe a look. A glance. Same things that I get every day. Yes, I have cringed when an overweight person "takes up too much space" next to me. Just as so many have cringed whilst looking at me and my, ah, lack of space?

Is what the OP has to say any different than what *I* have experienced, openly?

"What is she thinking?"

"Why doesn't she just eat?"

At the end of the day. What does anything matter?

[Cassie 8]

Meh, I go through the days with open ridicule. Gawking. Whatever.

I think, at least in the circles that I move in, it's okay to ridicule someone for being overweight in your head. Obviously, you don't mention it. Maybe a look. A glance. Same things that I get every day. Yes, I have cringed when an overweight person "takes up too much space" next to me. Just as so many have cringed whilst looking at me and my, ah, lack of space?

Is what the OP has to say any different than what *I* have experienced, openly?

"What is she thinking?"

"Why doesn't she just eat?"

At the end of the day. What does anything matter?

You know, we're more alike than different on this issue.

People are openly ridiculed for being too skinny.

People are openly ridiculed for being too fat.

What does anything matter? Not much really. I just wish people would learn to not be so rude to others.

Edited March 29, 2008 by Cassie

[eric&gen 0]

I think fat people need to be charged for over weight fees its like having extra luggage on the plane. It will teach them to lose a few pounds lol.

[GabiandVi 34]

It will teach them to lose a few pounds lol.

I think you can't honestly be so crass, stupid, and intentionally rude. Are you the same idiot who posted that white men only married ugly Filipina? Can't you be a little more clever with your "sense of humor". It's not coming off as humor. It's coming off as trailor trash ignorance.

[KimandRuss 0]

I think fat people need to be charged for over weight fees its like having extra luggage on the plane. It will teach them to lose a few pounds lol.

They are. I think you need an education. As stated previously... you haters certainly do have your own demons, don't you? After reading some of your other comments around here I see you are just a flamer starving for attention. Poor baby. *gives you a lolli*... not too many now.

And what does it matter??? You're here voicing your opinion because of how these stares/comments..etc effect you. Do you people honestly think that these people don't know??? It's all they live...trust me! It effects everything they do....every day. The OP, and obvious other scholars on this thread, was cruel. It simply could have been stated how he/she was displeased about not having enough room. That would have been enough. But, probably because of his/her own insecurities, had to verbally bash and yes, abuse those people...in turn, abusing those here who are overweight...and really..even those like you, who think they are.

No matter how you try to sugar coat it.... abuse is abuse! Not one of you has been empowered by the forces that be to judge another human being and not one of you is better because of the way you look on the outside. Maybe those people are wondering how you got so damn ugly or why your breath could peel paint. Are you really that miserable that you need to berate another human being in a public forum to feel better about yourself?? I wonder what you must be teaching your children and it certainly explains why there is so much hate in the world.

As stated previously, I do not agree that it's ok for an obese person to take up two seats in a plane or compromise another persons comfort. That is not my point here. My point is that there is no reason to be rude or abusive. When I was that large I simply did not fly. Even at the size I am now I find the seats pretty uncomfortable (especially on those 25 hour flights!) and often wonder how I ever would have done it. I also tend to look at extremely obese people and want to help them...take them to Weight Watchers with me...show them my website...etc. I don't do that because i've been in their shoes. I do it because i'm a compassionate human being who was raised right ...and thank goodness for that!

These folks have to live in their own skin! They have to face the mirror every day and believe me when I tell you that it consumes every single part of their life. People are obese for a lot of reasons. Some medical, partly genetic, some because they eat too much of the wrong things and not enough of the right, some because they are too sedentary... sluggish metabolism... toxic bodies... it goes on and on. You think you're doing a favor by abusing them or mentioning that maybe they want to lose a few pounds? Well, you're not. Each one of us is different.. I know plenty of people who eat way more than I do ...and much faster (as described in the first post) btw ...and dont look on the outside like they have an ounce to lose. It means nothing. My father ran 12 miles a day...worked out in the gym for 2 a day...was the epitome of health (to someone like you) but guess what, he still dropped dead of a heart attack at 51 much in part to poor eating habits.

I'm not someone who has just lost a ton of weight. I've had tea with Fergie, i've been on the discovery health channel and on Good Morning America... numerous magazines and i've hosted my own site and forum for a decade. I'm not just talking out my @ss like some of you are in order to get a laugh or feel better about who YOU are. Every day I get up and fight to be healthy and eat right. Every day I live with the 'girl I used to be' and fight her demons...even after all these years.

btw... I gained 100 of those pounds I lost after I buried my son. You going to ridicule me for that too???

To those of you reading this thread who are hurt and humiliated. Hold your head high because people who abuse you obviously have their own $hit to deal with and honestly, i'd rather be fat! Stay strong because THAT is the only way to change. Trust me when I tell you that you can.

[SnowyTater 0]

I just think it's a mistake in society, if the community wants to go anywhere and progress and everything, for people to feel like everyone else hates them and everyone's looking at them at all given times, everyone's thinking bad thoughts or talking about them, etc. Have seen this said a few times now, and lots of flag words coming up like 'ignorance', 'prejudice,' 'mean-spirited,' 'superiority', etc. I know there are some complete jerks running around, but really I don't think the majority of people are looking at an overweight or obese person and thinking so judgmentally or negatively of them at all. How could everybody do that, when most people in the US are overweight, it seems like? Most of the time we don't even notice if someone is. The most I've ever thought about someone is to feel really bad and sorry for them, which might offend some of you and be belittling or something, but I mean it IS a big problem and I really don't want my own generation (oh yeh I'm 22 btw somebody kind of asked) or older generations or the kids that come after me to have to deal with this big health problem. Everybody keeps emphasizing that it IS this excruciatingly hard thing to deal with, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically; I agree. But to end or try to resolve that problem I don't think saying "get off our backs!" or being offended anytime people try to talk about it helps

I feel like people probably have much more negative self-concepts than what others actually think of them, and so because of those insecurities they assume that everyone's staring at them and hates them and would ostracize/stone/exile them if they could. I just don't think this is true at all, in the slightest. But I understand that thought process because basically I subscribe to it a lot too. I grew up until I was a late teenager pretty overweight, possibly went over the line into obese. I was also the academic nerd in my school and looked like a boy. Most of my clothes were hand me down from my mother or sister, who were bigger, so they were all baggy which didn't help with the 'you look like a boy' thing. My mom who's a phenomenal mother kind of...dropped the ball on informing about any sort of 'feminine' stuff so I've never walked, talked, sounded or acted like a girl in my life, really. Didn't wear bras until high school. Didn't have a belt so my pants were sagging. I was picked on every single day from kindergarten up until the year I graduated high school, and those puberty years when I was my biggest and everything's the worst as it is I was pretty violently picked on, beaten up on a weekly basis, by the boys that would later get the basketball scholarships to UNC and Clemson and everywhere else here :\ No one ever did anything about it or stepped in for me, including teachers. I never talked when I was growing up until I met my SO online, basically. I *knew* then that everyone absolutely hated my guts, would rather I were dead, etc etc.

I just say all that to say I understand having that sort of self-concept. I don't think I look or act anything like I did then, not that it was my fault I was picked on or anything, but I still have that same self-concept. I'll still hear people ask each other "was that a boy or a girl?' whenever my hair's cut short or something, and I guess I still don't walk feminine, I don't know. Just used to it. I'm still convinced most of the time that everyone hates me, so every time I catch someone's eye while walking I usually immediately interpret it as a glare, get several of those (possibly imagined) a day and you've got a reinforced negative self-image.

Just saying I think everybody has problems and they come from all kinds of crazy directions. I think someone being nagged and ridiculed constantly for being too 'skinny' is just as bad as being ridiculed for being too fat, really. There IS a pretty harsh trend now of calling out "skinny bitches" and stuff, and it's like all us bigger people (by that I mean normal sized too, just not ultra thin) are jealous so mad at the skinny ones for 'setting the standard lower' or something, right? It's THEIR fault, they must automatically be unhealthy and starve themselves, they must be really stupid for doing that, etc etc. is what people think lots of times about these people. I've finally lost the last of my 'baby fat' the last year or so and my mom won't stop pulling me aside very concernedly to ask if I've been eating and if I have a problem and things like that, and I'm right smack in the middle of the health weight range BMI thing.

And people are ridiculed for being any minority, for being men or women, fat or skinny, brunettes or blonds or color blind or handicapped or perfect 'specimen' jocks and preps, for smoking or drinking or not smoking or not drinking or doing drugs or not doing drugs, for eating sushi or for eating fried greasy foods. Come on people are ridiculed for absolutely EVERYTHING and it goes both ways. So I just think it's extreme to say that anyone who mentions overweight people or tries to address it, not talking about people making fun, but just mentions it, gets so defensive and says "You don't think they know!!" and calls everyone prejudice and all of this stuff. I know they know. I also figure they probably would like/need some support, and they probably DO have a very skewed in a bad way body image of themselves where they think it's worse than it is or that everyone hates them. What the heck is wrong with opening up a dialogue about it? Isn't talking and laying things in the open meant to be how you SOLVE things? Are we really meant to be sparing obese people's feelings by not talking about it; how does that help if there feelings are already being crushed inside on their own because they think everyone's thinking bad thoughts about them?

Just saying there's victims on ALL sides of the fence, and probably it looks worse from whichever side you're on because you're the one under scrutiny, and I think your own head is more critical and judgmental of you than others are, but you displace that criticism onto others and assume they're thinking worse than they are. It'd just be nice if people had a little faith that other people aren't trying to be prejudice or hateful or ignorant or whatever else, because whenever these flag words are brought up we get into political correctness which just blocks rather than allows the opening up of conversation where people can actually get their feelings out and the actually-existing problems can be addressed. Ignoring real problems won't make them go away

This isn't directed at anybody else's post or anything.

Kim, I'm sorry about your son.

[eric&gen 0]

I think you both feel sorry for yourselves and I'm not the one who started the post about ugly filipinas that was my friend loool. you need a life go get laid take a hobbie your insults don't hurt me you need some better material lol. Suck my balls please get a life stop blah blah with your long post taking up hard drive space lol.

[Mags 112]

What does anything matter? Not much really. I just wish people would learn to not be so rude to others.

I'm going to quote Cassie here (as she makes an excellent point) and then close this thread - too many nasty insults flying back and forth here.