Down in the dumps today!!

[nana_356 0]

Definately, point out to your husband that in normal muslim society the parents usually decide who their daughters marry. It is also highly unusual for muslim women to marry non-muslim men and is forbidden in the Quran. So your husband should be a little understanding of your family's wrath.

There is nothing in Islam that mandates a woman to marry a man whom her family chooses for her, although in the Shafi'i school it has been interpreted that way. Also, there is nothing in the Quran nor the Sunnah of the Prophet that forbids Muslimas from marriage with men of the Book or limits them to marriage with Muslim men.

Nana, honey, do you need more info on interfaith/interracial marriage in Islam? I'd be happy to provide more.

Sofiyya

Virtual wife, you are the reason why I went to speak with the sheik, and he agreed with what you said. The sheik even called my father to speak to him! But still my parents continue to be stubborn and nasty? This for me is no longer about weather islam permits it or not, i know for a fact that Islam does permit it. This is about my familys attitude towards me marrying an american man, this is now really wearing my husband down. It seems like he felt better when he thought that it was about religeon, but now that he realizes it isnt, and its a personal thing he feels much worse.

And virtual wife, give me all the knowlege you have, I love to read the articles you send me!!

[a1angied 0]

I am very sorry that you are enduring this as others have said they are also. I can only pray that things witll get better and this will all be a part of the past.

Hope you are feeling better today!

[Nutty 2]

I said muslim SOCIETY, not in the Quran....

Dear Ms. Virtual Wife,

Please read what I wrote...

I know it is not in the Quran that parents are to choose the husband...BUT, it is extremely common in muslim society/culture that the family choose the husband.

[dillydally 0]

i am soooo sorry you are going through this sweety...but inshAllah everything will work out in good time be patient and strong and inshAllah everything will work out and love will conquer all of this praying for you with all my heart and please let me know if you need to talk or anything

[SaadBell 0]

I got to thinking about this whole family thing, I have always done what my family doesn't want, so they just brace themselves. I don't tell them anything, I just keep my mouth closed, why start fights. My grandparents were not born in America and they too felt that we should only date within our own culture. My mother married a German man, my father and well they just got used to the idea. I remember one time my Grandmother ask me, why you like the white boys? I just laugh, because to me it really doesn't matter. The family hated my first husband with a passion, he was a naval aviator, and a raging alcoholic, but I stayed in that marriage for 23 years. Now the separations I have now with my now husband Hesham is a lot like when I was married to Keith in the navy. Always gone to some part of the world that is far away, and you are left to handle everything by yourself. One time Keith was home for only two weeks in the whole year. I learned that I watch what I say, why, because they are so far away, and it will only make them worried. I always try to keep up beat, it is not so easy sometimes, but once again, I always want him to leave on a high note. Families have a way of coming around, just give it time. You are not alone, this hating the husband and wife, happens with even Americans, families hate families. My first marriage is an excellent example of that.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Definately, point out to your husband that in normal muslim society the parents usually decide who their daughters marry. It is also highly unusual for muslim women to marry non-muslim men and is forbidden in the Quran. So your husband should be a little understanding of your family's wrath.

There is nothing in Islam that mandates a woman to marry a man whom her family chooses for her, although in the Shafi'i school it has been interpreted that way. Also, there is nothing in the Quran nor the Sunnah of the Prophet that forbids Muslimas from marriage with men of the Book or limits them to marriage with Muslim men.

Nana, honey, do you need more info on interfaith/interracial marriage in Islam? I'd be happy to provide more.

Sofiyya

The above is my response to what you wrote, nutty. It's certainly not off-base to equate "Muslim" with "Islam", for Muslims are Muslims because of Islam. You also tied their objections to her mariage in with the Quran, saying that it forbade her marriage, which it does not. I'm not sure what you mean by "normal" Muslim culture, but since Islam doesn't require women to marry men chosen by their families, you must mean culture, by which we can expand that tradition farther out than being Muslim, for it is not uncommon to have arranged marriages in many cultures, religions and ethnic groups throughout MENA and the world.

I did not misread what you said, but it is possible that I misunderstood what you actually meant by it.

I said muslim SOCIETY, not in the Quran....

Dear Ms. Virtual Wife,

Please read what I wrote...

I know it is not in the Quran that parents are to choose the husband...BUT, it is extremely common in muslim society/culture that the family choose the husband.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Virtual wife, you are the reason why I went to speak with the sheik, and he agreed with what you said. The sheik even called my father to speak to him! But still my parents continue to be stubborn and nasty? This for me is no longer about weather islam permits it or not, i know for a fact that Islam does permit it. This is about my familys attitude towards me marrying an american man, this is now really wearing my husband down. It seems like he felt better when he thought that it was about religeon, but now that he realizes it isnt, and its a personal thing he feels much worse.

And virtual wife, give me all the knowlege you have, I love to read the articles you send me!!

Praise God for your enlightened sheikh and his willingness to pursue justice for you in His Name! There are more and more scholars coming around to this truth all the time, and we are all better for it. I am sorry that knowledge of this fact has not moved your parents hearts and minds, but has also served to depress your husband even more. Please remind him of Job, and how he will be rewarded for doing the right thing thru adversity. You twoare the calm in the eye of the storm, and, the more you reach out, the more you will see that their are others with great empathy for your situation.

I will gather more uplifting articles for you soon, sis. Ma'salaama