Please advice

[afgo 0]

Hi, this is going to be a little long but I hope someone can give me some advice.

a little intro of the problem:

When I moved to the US I left my girlfriend of all my life in our country, we broke up and we moved our separate ways. 2 months ago I went to visit the old country and she was there also visiting "she lives in Italy now" we started talking again and we have stayed in contact. When I moved here I decided to move on and a while later I got married to a wonderful girl with which I thought I could have a good future with. The only problem was that she was here illegally so I decided to help her. We are currently waiting for her 2 year residency but I am seriously thinking about getting a divorce.

My questions are:

-If I divorce her after she gets her conditional green card would she be able to become a permanent resident later on?

-If I wanted to bring the other girl to this country would I be able to?

[*julez* 124]

So, you are currently involved in a green card marriage and now are contemplating a divorce cos you found someone to marry that you actually love?

My answers are:

1. Highly unlikely.

2. You would have to be free to marry the other woman. Your options would be K1, K3 or CR-1/IR-1 visas. Since you already have intent to marry this other woman you can't just bring her into the US and marry her once you are divorced.

[afgo 0]

well things are complicated, I am currently in a marriage not for convenience but because I was stupid in assuming that a good life could compensate for the lack of love. Don’t get me wrong, we were together for 2 years before we got married an it was good, but after seeing that other person my life is upside down, I would rather have her here since I own property and have a decent job. I do not want to leave my current wife without anything and I would rather wait until she is legal. She came here underage and has attended high school and college here if that matters.

I would wait until the divorce is done and then marry her in italy or in our country where she is legal.

Ohh and again my marriage was not just for a green card, we were good together had a relationship and we live together.

Edited March 27, 2008 by afgo

[nane1104 146]

I am a little confused about your own status. You state, that you came to the US from another country. Are you a greencard holder or did you become a US citizen?

Then you married your current wife and now she has a conditional greencard? Am I assuming right, that you are a USC then?

If that is the case, there should ot be a legal problem if you and your wife are getting divorced, that you could petition for the other girl, K-1 would probably a good option for that.

If you wait with the divorce until your wife has the conditional greencard, she can lift conditions later on by herself if she can proof, that the marriage was not fraud (which I think is not the case the way you describe it).

BUT I am not sure how it would wrk if she has to go to an interview for the AOS approval where you both have to testify a valid marriage!?

I don't know, I think that is a pretty tricky situation....I am sure, there are more experienced people here that will be able to give you a more accurate answer to your questions.

[*JG* 2]

I suppose anything is possible. It seems kind of underhanded, the way you stated it.

[afgo 0]

yes, I became a USC. There is definitely proof that the marriage was not fraud and I would be willing to go with her to anything, I have already discussed with her my discontent with the marriage but she does not know about the other girl.

I am not trying to be deceitful or anything, i just made a huge mistake trying to be happy with someone I care for but do not really love.

[nane1104 146]

I think this is more of a moral rather than a legal issue. The only problem I see is the interview, because you would hve to make statements, that you are indeed in a bona fide marriage. Legally you are, morally you are not, so I don't know what to say or what I would do.

I feel for you, but I also have to say maybe you shouldn't have married your wife for those reasons. Not sure how she feels about it, but if my husband told me he married me for the reasons you stated, I would be devastated.

But I know my personal opinion is not relevant, so I'll shut up.

I think this is more of a moral rather than a legal issue. The only problem I see is the interview, because you would hve to make statements, that you are indeed in a bona fide marriage. Legally you are, morally you are not, so I don't know what to say or what I would do.

I feel for you, but I also have to say maybe you shouldn't have married your wife for those reasons. Not sure how she feels about it, but if my husband told me he married me for the reasons you stated, I would be devastated.

But I know my personal opinion is not relevant, so I'll shut up.

[afgo 0]

I actually apreciate your view, I do care for my wife and she is a great person. I did tell her about my discontent but did not tell her the reasons. I could not feel any worse with this situation. She is a great person she paid her way through college here in the US, has paid taxes and she is def. better american than many legal americans.

[nane1104 146]

Well, I wish you all the best. I know it is not really unusual that couples marry for other reasons than love (just thinking about people back in the years who married for practical reasons only), it's just something I would not want to happen to me.

I am also aware that even people who initially really loved one another can fall out of love or meet someone that puts their world upside down emotionalwise, so I am not trying to judge you in any way.

I hope, someone knows more about any legal issues you might face in case you want to try to support your wife through the last steps of the AOS process.

[ikyang 1]

if your wife is a great person just like what u said. then stay with her and help her. sacrifice your desire to be with the other woman! after all marriage is a commitment. just my thoughts.

[nane1104 146]

if your wife is a great person just like what u said. then stay with her and help her. sacrifice your desire to be with the other woman! after all marriage is a commitment. just my thoughts.

If I was her, I wouldn't want to be with a husband that doesn't love me or is not in love with me and worse, is in love with another woman.

Yes, a marriage is a commitment and takes work, and should not be thrown away easily, but I don't think the OP is just giving up on the marriage because things are rocky and need to be fixed and he is not willing to work on things.

[mateo 0]

Here is what I think:

Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

How about this other girl, if she loved you where has she been? Not chasing you down has she? She is in Italy living it up.

Normally there are other things that cause people to go roaming or fantasizing about lost loves. I promise you it will never be what you had and when you ruin what you have built you will wish you had it back. You will be right where you are now just on the other side of the fence realizing that it all was a mistake.

Either be man and go home and discuss why you are feeling this way and see what she has to say or get over it and stop contacting your lost love.

M.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

you PROMISE him? egad, to be so sure... do you do palms? tea leaves?

[zqt3344 21]

Better go find an immigration attorney and consult with, you have some complex issues to work with.

Hi, this is going to be a little long but I hope someone can give me some advice.

a little intro of the problem:

When I moved to the US I left my girlfriend of all my life in our country, we broke up and we moved our separate ways. 2 months ago I went to visit the old country and she was there also visiting "she lives in Italy now" we started talking again and we have stayed in contact. When I moved here I decided to move on and a while later I got married to a wonderful girl with which I thought I could have a good future with. The only problem was that she was here illegally so I decided to help her. We are currently waiting for her 2 year residency but I am seriously thinking about getting a divorce.

My questions are:

-If I divorce her after she gets her conditional green card would she be able to become a permanent resident later on?

-If I wanted to bring the other girl to this country would I be able to?