Negative criticism

[SnowyTater 0]

My family all loves Iain really and are really glad that we've ended up together, seeing as I'm kind of weird and pathetic and otherwise would have been...even more weird and pathetic

But the first time I flew over for us to meet there was the obligatory "omg he's probably an internet predator you're not even 18 you're not going!"

And then when he first came here to meet my good ol' southern boy daddy there was the obligatory Use Any Excuse We Can Possibly Find Of Why He's Not Good Enough time period, in which of course his living so far away and also his LACK OF HEALTH (because he's SOOOO unhealthy because he has pretty mild asthma ) were issues. But this is really just all kind of...right of passage, isn't it?

As soon as all the men in my family took him snipe hunting and he held up well to that, he was totally in

Meanwhile, I think my boss here at work is quite concerned that I'm engaged and that he's never met him and has been acting very fatherly overprotective and suspicious of him...which is annoying, but kind of...cute in a good intentions way? Meh :\

[rclouse 0]

I only have one set of relatives that would present a problem for us, so I nipped that in the bud with a snail-mail letter I sent telling them in no uncertain terms how they would behave when family events would bring us together. It worked, they were fine with us at a wedding we all attended.

Then they went back to their trailer and all was good.

[GabiandVi 34]

I've been lucky. I guess my sister sort of broke the ice for me when she married a Greek guy. The only concern my family expressed at that time was that she wasn't going to come home to the US. They are moving home this summer after 7 years in Greece.

They didn't express that concern when I got married. Hey! What does that mean?

[MrsCat 6]

I am just sick of friends and coworkers saying things like, "well it's not like you'd know . . . you're not REALLY married." Somehow when you're living apart is a lesser form of marriage?! That really makes me nuts.

But me being from Canada, his parents/family/friends don't really consider me a foreigner. They just call me the kookie Canadian.

[SqdnGuns 21]

Have not heard one negative comment, if I do, they will find out exactly how I feel and then regret their comment.

[michellemilitza 1]

I haven't heard any negative comments, but I know for a fact that My fiance has received several comments from his co-workers in Panama (specifically female ones) asking him "well what makes HER so special?" or "why are you guys apart if you're in a relationship" and the big one was "oh I know why you're marrying her, it's because you know she'll be making a lot of money in the US, so you're just going to live off of her money"

LoL! everytime my fiance tells me this i just laugh, I don't care, let them die with envy, I'm with the love of my life so they can talk as much ####### as they want, that won't change anything

Edited March 28, 2008 by michellemilitza

[panamania79 2]

I haven't heard any negative comments, but I know for a fact that My fiance has received several comments from his co-workers in Panama (specifically female ones) asking him "well what makes HER so special?" or "why are you guys apart if you're in a relationship" and the big one was "oh I know why you're marrying her, it's because you know she'll be making a lot of money in the US, so you're just going to live off of her money"

LoL! everytime my fiance tells me this i just laugh, I don't care, let them die with envy, I'm with the love of my life so they can talk as much ####### as they want, that won't change anything

Those comments are all too familiar to me.All his freinds tell him,"You just hit the lottery,man,American people are rich." And my goofy "friends" say the same thing,"Oh how can you call that a relationship if you are apart,he's probably cheating on you." I used to get angry,I just laugh it off now.

[AlHayatZween 2]

I am so sick and tired of hearing "Why couldn't you have found yourself a nice American man" and "I'm tired of foriegners taking all of the American women" and "He just wants a green card." How many of you have heard this during your visa journey ? How do you handle these annoying comments ?

i've heard all of these + many more. at first, i took it as concern for me. but, when the same people keep saying same or close to the same things...it means something else. not quite sure what it means...but i don't like any of the possible meanings. then i got very aggressive about it. now i really just pity the people that make the comments. my friends & family understand.

this is a choice i have made. if you care to be in my life, you will accept & respect my choices & my SO.

Yes, it has been terrible with all the comments and lack of support from "friends" and "family". i try so hard to let it roll off, and most of the time i'm just quietly annoyed or angry about it. but then there are some days it really gets me down. i've seen sides of friends and family that really have surprised me.

we keep on plugging along, and i know things will be okay if Habibi ever gets here inchallah. but i've really learned a lot through this experience.... that's for sure.

I think that if I were to receive such comments regularly I'd soon start playing along with them - 'oh, I know, but how else am I going to get a man?' 'Of course he wants the green card, but he's paying me a hefty sum to get it.'

ha! that's hilarious, do you mind if i use those?

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Not at all - go ahead! I'd love to know what their reaction is

[AlHayatZween 2]

Not at all - go ahead! I'd love to know what their reaction is

Ha!

Okay, thanks... i'm sure i'll have the opportunity soon enough!

[panamania79 2]

I am so sick and tired of hearing "Why couldn't you have found yourself a nice American man" and "I'm tired of foriegners taking all of the American women" and "He just wants a green card." How many of you have heard this during your visa journey ? How do you handle these annoying comments ?

i've heard all of these + many more. at first, i took it as concern for me. but, when the same people keep saying same or close to the same things...it means something else. not quite sure what it means...but i don't like any of the possible meanings. then i got very aggressive about it. now i really just pity the people that make the comments. my friends & family understand.

this is a choice i have made. if you care to be in my life, you will accept & respect my choices & my SO.

Yes, it has been terrible with all the comments and lack of support from "friends" and "family". i try so hard to let it roll off, and most of the time i'm just quietly annoyed or angry about it. but then there are some days it really gets me down. i've seen sides of friends and family that really have surprised me.

we keep on plugging along, and i know things will be okay if Habibi ever gets here inchallah. but i've really learned a lot through this experience.... that's for sure.

I think that if I were to receive such comments regularly I'd soon start playing along with them - 'oh, I know, but how else am I going to get a man?' 'Of course he wants the green card, but he's paying me a hefty sum to get it.'

ha! that's hilarious, do you mind if i use those?

Does "inchallah" mean the same thing as "ojala" ?

[Alex+R 0]

inch allah = god willing

ojala = slightly different?

[Santos Castillo 0]

My family and friends weren't to happy and had nothing good to say about it at first either. I really can't say they are happy now either. They told me I travel to much to see him. I am desperate. How do you know he not cheating on you. He just wants a green card. You are so stupid and naive. You can find a man making millions of dollar yet you go and find a man in a third world country. The list can go on. I believe that they are scared about the unknown factors. They never met him and he speaks about 25% of english. However, since we met in 2006 his english has greatly improved. He feels comfortable speaking english to me. I have told my immediate friends and family about filing for a visa. I don't feel like the other friends and family needs to know yet.(until he enters the U.S.) The most important thing is that we are happy together including my son. I know Yova and I union will be a good example that it's okay to step out of your element. Also good things can blossom when you least expected it. I believe through God all things are possible.

I am so happy for VJ . It has been a support system for me in so many ways.

I love my Yova.

Edited March 31, 2008 by Santos Castillo

[CarolynRitesh 0]

My parents came to India when Ritesh and I had been dating for about 3 months and really liked him, but my Mom cautioned me against falling in love (too late!!) because she was worried about the arranged marriage culture here. My sister came about 6 months later and could see how serious we were and how much we loved each other, but was still hesitant. When I went back to the US a month after that, Mom again cautioned me, but supported my decisions.

I think the turning point for anyone who had any doubts was last July when I ended up in the hospital right after my return to India needing two emergency surgeries, the second one being a hysterectomy. Ritesh never left my side for the 10 days in the hospital and took complete care of me for the 7 weeks of recovery. After that, he completely won over their hearts, minds and souls and another word has never been spoken since!

Sometimes I do wonder how people in the US will react, but I don't really worry about it, I know what my relationship is and how lucky I am that we found each other!

[SaadBell 0]

I love using humor, I get, he will take more wifes, and I say, of course, damn I don't want him sweating me, I will be taking young studs myself. You see, once he is busy with his new wife, this gives me time to take a little vaction with my boy toy. Most people get it, but some really think I am dead serious. Funny stuff.