Double Standards

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

[desert_fox 32]

Okay this is just the craziest idea I have every heard. Do you mean to tell me (desert fox) that all american women here are self supporting and don't need a man to survive. I think your head is in the desert sand here. When I first got divorced I was appalled at the amount of american women out there fighting for a worthless piece of ####### american man just because he had a job and could support them. It made me both laugh and sick to my stomach. I vowed then and there that I would never be like these women, and I have succeeded. And yes, I am married to an Arab. I have neither compromised my self or my culture. You need to wake up.

Depends on where you are from and what kind of ppl you have dealt with. In my circles, women were taught by their parents to finish school, go to college, get an education, become a nurse, school teacher, lawyer...do something with their life. Be independent and then you can look for deeper relationships, having a family, etc.

But I know that in some parts of Apallachia and some southern states, that this is not true in the rural areas. Some opt to live in a trailer park and live on welfare...so I guess you are used to different kind of ppl and lifestyle than I. I have never seen some woman fighting over some worthless piece of ####### as you describe, but I sure that they exist.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Okay this is just the craziest idea I have every heard. Do you mean to tell me (desert fox) that all american women here are self supporting and don't need a man to survive. I think your head is in the desert sand here. When I first got divorced I was appalled at the amount of american women out there fighting for a worthless piece of ####### american man just because he had a job and could support them. It made me both laugh and sick to my stomach. I vowed then and there that I would never be like these women, and I have succeeded. And yes, I am married to an Arab. I have neither compromised my self or my culture. You need to wake up.

Depends on where you are from and what kind of ppl you have dealt with. In my circles, women were taught by their parents to finish school, go to college, get an education, become a nurse, school teacher, lawyer...do something with their life. Be independent and then you can look for deeper relationships, having a family, etc.

But I know that in some parts of Apallachia and some southern states, that this is not true in the rural areas. Some opt to live in a trailer park and live on welfare...so I guess you are used to different kind of ppl and lifestyle than I. I have never seen some woman fighting over some worthless piece of ####### as you describe, but I sure that they exist.

Hey I live in a nice little house but living in a trailer doesnt make you a bad person. Some people dont have the chance to go to college, that doesnt make them any less worthy than me or anyone else. Let me tell you something, I am from Boca Raton and from an affluent family and they are all highly highly educated and my aunt who is an attorney is satans little sister. Id hang out in a trailer any day with someone who was nice to me

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

?????? What is this about??

.....his family witnessed him do several things to me when I was there that I think looking back were really off...It was very extreme but his family accepted it as normal...

then why did u accept it also, did you not speak up and show your concerns at that time sounds like you are allowing this behavoir. I understand respect for the family that you are visiting but a few times i crossed paths with (the family wants.....) situation and just had to speak up

to me?...i was just asking her why if she can acknowledge this happening did she speak up at the time that his family was witnessing this behavior

I think because of past failures, I am trying alot harder than normal to make things work and to allow for adjustments. I am kind of depressed right now over a couple of things that transpired and I do not think the pregnancy is making things much easier for me. I really crave a high level of stability and normalcy and unfortunately I may have walked into more of an unstable family situation than I bargained for ( complicated inter family relationships.. drama etc. ) I can personally say that there were things that happened on my last trip that made me really sad and I am just kind of sad right now thinking about them. Speaking up is a lot harder than you think when you are trying really hard to make things work and you have been seperated your whole marriage by immigration. This process has done so much damage to us as well

If you are having all these doubts and he isn't even here yet I would be worried too. I know while I was waiting i didn't have a single doubt. Love is blind sometimes but it sounds to me that you are past the blind stage if you have all these worries now. before you bring him here and you do have control over your life you better think long and hard before you complete this process.

You have spent FIVE months seperated . What the hell do you know about what people in MENA go through to be with their spouses? I am here to hear from them. You are on our boards saying all American women are sluts and we like to sleep with other peoples husbands. I have been in the immigration process since January 2007 and he is still not here. I am also in a high risk pregnancy and am already depressed to a level you cannot imagine. This process has torn me limb from limb and the seperation during this pregnancy has endangered my life. Yes, there are things that are making me very unhappy right now but for the life of me , there is NO WAY you could imagine what the MENA people go through as far as seperation and the trauma it causes even very healthy relationships

I didn't have to spend more than 2 weeks away from my wife because I went to see her all the time. I was only commenting that you have many doubts in your relationship which is not a good sign when he isn't even living with you yet. I never said all american woman are sluts I was just pointing out that american girls are more likely to be like guys usually are and this is not how women are in most other countries. You say you are trying very hard because of past mistakes to be understanding of him but I can tell you whatever problems you have now it will only get worse after you have a baby and he is here with you. If the problem is just that you miss him and wish he was with you then that is understandable but what you have been saying is alot deaper than that.

What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

[Nasturtium 500]

What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?

Not speaking for her, but what stops a lot of us is the burden of proof of financial support-- we have to keep our jobs while we petition. Many of our petitions take over a year in this section in large part because we are dealing with high-fraud countries. What stops many from visiting as much is both vacation time (again, trying to keep the job) and money-- it can easily be $1,000+ per ticket, not including any expenses while there. MENA men don't make enough (in general) to foot the bill of our tickets.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

?????? What is this about??

.....his family witnessed him do several things to me when I was there that I think looking back were really off...It was very extreme but his family accepted it as normal...

then why did u accept it also, did you not speak up and show your concerns at that time sounds like you are allowing this behavoir. I understand respect for the family that you are visiting but a few times i crossed paths with (the family wants.....) situation and just had to speak up

to me?...i was just asking her why if she can acknowledge this happening did she speak up at the time that his family was witnessing this behavior

I think because of past failures, I am trying alot harder than normal to make things work and to allow for adjustments. I am kind of depressed right now over a couple of things that transpired and I do not think the pregnancy is making things much easier for me. I really crave a high level of stability and normalcy and unfortunately I may have walked into more of an unstable family situation than I bargained for ( complicated inter family relationships.. drama etc. ) I can personally say that there were things that happened on my last trip that made me really sad and I am just kind of sad right now thinking about them. Speaking up is a lot harder than you think when you are trying really hard to make things work and you have been seperated your whole marriage by immigration. This process has done so much damage to us as well

If you are having all these doubts and he isn't even here yet I would be worried too. I know while I was waiting i didn't have a single doubt. Love is blind sometimes but it sounds to me that you are past the blind stage if you have all these worries now. before you bring him here and you do have control over your life you better think long and hard before you complete this process.

You have spent FIVE months seperated . What the hell do you know about what people in MENA go through to be with their spouses? I am here to hear from them. You are on our boards saying all American women are sluts and we like to sleep with other peoples husbands. I have been in the immigration process since January 2007 and he is still not here. I am also in a high risk pregnancy and am already depressed to a level you cannot imagine. This process has torn me limb from limb and the seperation during this pregnancy has endangered my life. Yes, there are things that are making me very unhappy right now but for the life of me , there is NO WAY you could imagine what the MENA people go through as far as seperation and the trauma it causes even very healthy relationships

I didn't have to spend more than 2 weeks away from my wife because I went to see her all the time. I was only commenting that you have many doubts in your relationship which is not a good sign when he isn't even living with you yet. I never said all american woman are sluts I was just pointing out that american girls are more likely to be like guys usually are and this is not how women are in most other countries. You say you are trying very hard because of past mistakes to be understanding of him but I can tell you whatever problems you have now it will only get worse after you have a baby and he is here with you. If the problem is just that you miss him and wish he was with you then that is understandable but what you have been saying is alot deaper than that.

What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?

Its alot easier to fly to MEXICO than to ALGERIA.

He is going to have his interview on Saturday so hopefully we will not be seperated much longer. You IMPLIED that american women sleep around like crazy. This could not be farther from the truth. I dont know what garbage women you hang around but all the women I know for the most part do their damndest to take care of their kids and their familes.

The more I travel overseas, the more I respect American women. America is an amazing country. I have never seen the level of prostitution and abuse of females in the USA that I have seen overseas in the last 4 years.

Look at MEXICO. Look at how women are treated in the garment industry. Look at the brothels on bordertowns. Look at all the busts of underage Mexican prostitutes sold into prostitution by their families. Hands down, Americans for the most part do their best to condemn this kind of behavior. Are the brothels in Tijiuana policed from selling 14 year olds? No. Thats a bunch of ####### what you say about American women. We have rights here and with those rights come responsibility. I have travelled EXTENSIVELY all over the world and the level of sex workers in places like ABU DHABI is at an all time high with children being trafficked in UAE from India, Russia, Iran, Armenia... Europes prostitition trade has been overwhelmed by Former soviet union prostitutes. I think someone hungry and desperate is going to be much more likely to sleep around than someone who feels good about themselves.. You need to re evaluate your opinions of American women. None of us on the mena board married men for money or to better our lives. I am sure some of the women marrying men from the USA did.

[morocco4ever 63]

Okay this is just the craziest idea I have every heard. Do you mean to tell me (desert fox) that all american women here are self supporting and don't need a man to survive. I think your head is in the desert sand here. When I first got divorced I was appalled at the amount of american women out there fighting for a worthless piece of ####### american man just because he had a job and could support them. It made me both laugh and sick to my stomach. I vowed then and there that I would never be like these women, and I have succeeded. And yes, I am married to an Arab. I have neither compromised my self or my culture. You need to wake up.

Depends on where you are from and what kind of ppl you have dealt with. In my circles, women were taught by their parents to finish school, go to college, get an education, become a nurse, school teacher, lawyer...do something with their life. Be independent and then you can look for deeper relationships, having a family, etc.

But I know that in some parts of Apallachia and some southern states, that this is not true in the rural areas. Some opt to live in a trailer park and live on welfare...so I guess you are used to different kind of ppl and lifestyle than I. I have never seen some woman fighting over some worthless piece of ####### as you describe, but I sure that they exist.

lol....you don't know me from Adam. Amazing how you can generalize a person merely because they have seen many aspects and areas of life. You really are pathetic.

?????? What is this about??

.....his family witnessed him do several things to me when I was there that I think looking back were really off...It was very extreme but his family accepted it as normal...

then why did u accept it also, did you not speak up and show your concerns at that time sounds like you are allowing this behavoir. I understand respect for the family that you are visiting but a few times i crossed paths with (the family wants.....) situation and just had to speak up

to me?...i was just asking her why if she can acknowledge this happening did she speak up at the time that his family was witnessing this behavior

I think because of past failures, I am trying alot harder than normal to make things work and to allow for adjustments. I am kind of depressed right now over a couple of things that transpired and I do not think the pregnancy is making things much easier for me. I really crave a high level of stability and normalcy and unfortunately I may have walked into more of an unstable family situation than I bargained for ( complicated inter family relationships.. drama etc. ) I can personally say that there were things that happened on my last trip that made me really sad and I am just kind of sad right now thinking about them. Speaking up is a lot harder than you think when you are trying really hard to make things work and you have been seperated your whole marriage by immigration. This process has done so much damage to us as well

If you are having all these doubts and he isn't even here yet I would be worried too. I know while I was waiting i didn't have a single doubt. Love is blind sometimes but it sounds to me that you are past the blind stage if you have all these worries now. before you bring him here and you do have control over your life you better think long and hard before you complete this process.

You have spent FIVE months seperated . What the hell do you know about what people in MENA go through to be with their spouses? I am here to hear from them. You are on our boards saying all American women are sluts and we like to sleep with other peoples husbands. I have been in the immigration process since January 2007 and he is still not here. I am also in a high risk pregnancy and am already depressed to a level you cannot imagine. This process has torn me limb from limb and the seperation during this pregnancy has endangered my life. Yes, there are things that are making me very unhappy right now but for the life of me , there is NO WAY you could imagine what the MENA people go through as far as seperation and the trauma it causes even very healthy relationships

I didn't have to spend more than 2 weeks away from my wife because I went to see her all the time. I was only commenting that you have many doubts in your relationship which is not a good sign when he isn't even living with you yet. I never said all american woman are sluts I was just pointing out that american girls are more likely to be like guys usually are and this is not how women are in most other countries. You say you are trying very hard because of past mistakes to be understanding of him but I can tell you whatever problems you have now it will only get worse after you have a baby and he is here with you. If the problem is just that you miss him and wish he was with you then that is understandable but what you have been saying is alot deaper than that.

What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?

Are you speaking of yourself here?

[desert_fox 32]

Hey I live in a nice little house but living in a trailer doesnt make you a bad person. Some people dont have the chance to go to college, that doesnt make them any less worthy than me or anyone else. Let me tell you something, I am from Boca Raton and from an affluent family and they are all highly highly educated and my aunt who is an attorney is satans little sister. Id hang out in a trailer any day with someone who was nice to me

Well my reply was in no way directed to you. It was for the lady who sees women fighting over a worthless piece of #######....I just cant relate to it.

Actually I feel sorry for the way that you are feeling and you should consult with a professional.

[morocco4ever 63]

Hey I live in a nice little house but living in a trailer doesnt make you a bad person. Some people dont have the chance to go to college, that doesnt make them any less worthy than me or anyone else. Let me tell you something, I am from Boca Raton and from an affluent family and they are all highly highly educated and my aunt who is an attorney is satans little sister. Id hang out in a trailer any day with someone who was nice to me

Well my reply was in no way directed to you. It was for the lady who sees women fighting over a worthless piece of #######....I just cant relate to it.

Actually I feel sorry for the way that you are feeling and you should consult with a professional.

Funny, I was thinking the same about you.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hey I live in a nice little house but living in a trailer doesnt make you a bad person. Some people dont have the chance to go to college, that doesnt make them any less worthy than me or anyone else. Let me tell you something, I am from Boca Raton and from an affluent family and they are all highly highly educated and my aunt who is an attorney is satans little sister. Id hang out in a trailer any day with someone who was nice to me

Well my reply was in no way directed to you. It was for the lady who sees women fighting over a worthless piece of #######....I just cant relate to it.

Actually I feel sorry for the way that you are feeling and you should consult with a professional.

You could feel really more sorry and get the hell of our boards because all you are doing is lurking around trying to start stuff

[SaadBell 0]

So you are a American man and your wife is mexican? I am sure you had bad experiences with some American women, but to make a blanket statement, than I wonder what kind of man you really are. wahrania is going through some really serious stuff, and just needs a little support. You telling me you never have any doubts about your wife, EVER You watch the evening news, look at a poilce report, there is violence between husband's and wifes everyday and the majority of them are married to someone from their own country. You never really know someone, unless you know something I don't know.

[desert_fox 32]

You could feel really more sorry and get the hell of our boards because all you are doing is lurking around trying to start stuff

start stuff?? I dont have to do that...you are all very good starting stuff between yourselves. I just find it very entertaining to see all these cat fights mainly because of the cultural diversity that exists here.

[sereia 0]

I didn't have to spend more than 2 weeks away from my wife because I went to see her all the time. I was only commenting that you have many doubts in your relationship which is not a good sign when he isn't even living with you yet. I never said all american woman are sluts I was just pointing out that american girls are more likely to be like guys usually are and this is not how women are in most other countries. You say you are trying very hard because of past mistakes to be understanding of him but I can tell you whatever problems you have now it will only get worse after you have a baby and he is here with you. If the problem is just that you miss him and wish he was with you then that is understandable but what you have been saying is alot deaper than that.

What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?

i REALLY agree with the bolded statement above. i wish you the best, wahrania! i know how hard it is... i've been there myself! factor in the culture shock and not having a job mixed in with a pregnant wife on TOP of his current behaviour? sigh...

Edited March 27, 2008 by sereia

[doodlebugg 10]

i love bannana cream pie!