60 Ways to Keep Your Husbands Love

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Does my feminine hygiene for me (not going into detail, but let's just say I don't ever get cut. hehehe)

tmfi......

[rebeccajo 14]

Amber, your outta line.

you're nuts! I'm not outta line! I see others share my opinion on this.

Leedah,

Don't worry about all these folks who are so nearsighted that can only think about this list literally, rather than getting the point that it is a means to describe the BIG PICTURE of taking care of your life's partner (both ways).

You keep on keeping on! The world needs more ofthis kind of sentiment: Wife to Husband and Husband to Wife, both!

Warm Regards,

Samby

I dunno. I thought lists were meant to be just that - something you review and literally do. Like 'things to do today'.

It's pretty cretanistic to think a woman needs to run down through her list of 'husband' chores, and that if she does so her world is never gonna spin off its axis.

News Flash. If a guy decides he wants to be unhappy with his wife, it's not gonna matter if she wipes his boots each night.

[Alex+R 0]

Does my feminine hygiene for me (not going into detail, but let's just say I don't ever get cut. hehehe)

tmfi......

I had a visceral reaction to that one too...blech

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

BTW is it true that Islam allows men to hit women as long as they don't leave scars? I've read that the recommended way of disciplining your wife is to cane her on the fingers. It hurts but doesn't leave a scar. Voila!

[Sister Fracas 5]

Ok, let's see if I can come up with some positives on this list instead of just focusing on the things I don't understand or agree with (due to Muslim culture)

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.

Once in awhile stay in your pajamas TOGETHER!

3. Smell good!

Goes both ways

4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

Yeah, I can agree to not bombard him the minute he walks in the door.

5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"

He'd probably be thinking, why does she keep asking me what I'm thinking

6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.

Well, I don't know about Allah, or God, or anyone else, but continuous nagging IS just annoying.

7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:

Yeah, I wouldn't share "inside the marriage" problems with other folks. Sure I will cmoplain that he doesn't pick up his dirty socks, but anything serious would be between us.

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

Done

9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

Race? hmmm, if I'm home and not doing anything I'll watch out the window at the buses passing by to see if he gets off and then wave at him.

11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

He's gotta help, considering I want the house kept cleaner than he cares about.

12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.

14. Call his family often.

15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

Oh I encourage him alright!!! LOL

16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.

I can try to be interested but I don't like to get blank stares when I'm talking about something he might find boring, so I think it's better to find something we are both intrested in talking about.

17. Encourage him to do good deeds.

18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.

Done, but he's RARELY in a bad mood and gets over them so quickly

19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.

We co-provide

20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

He never yells at me

21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

Actually not a bad idea.

22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

I think I do

23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys.

Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.

He doesn't need encouragement to go out with his mates and I don't mind generally. It let's me have the house to myself.

24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really

and vice versa

25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

good advice

26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.

true

27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

not gonna happen... LOL, he tells enough jokes and puns for the two of us

28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.

hmmm

29. Learn to make his favorite dish.

done

30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

I agree

31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

I'd say you should strive to make yourself happy not to impress anyone, but because in being happy you can provide happiness to others around you. And you can't expect others to provide you with all of your happiness, you have to find some on your own.

32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [surah Baqarah, 2:187]

Yes

34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."

done and vice versa as well

35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

actually, no...I'd save this action for a child. Let a child beat you. If you are overmatched by your husband in one thing, find out where you can beat him in another...hehehe...

36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

and vice versa

37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

Yes, I can see this...it goes along with being a lady.

38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

hmmm, the infamous #38....well, permission is not a word I'd use, BUT I do think there is nothing wrong with letting your spouse know where you are going and when you are expected back. It's just common curtesy.

39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

he can wash his own clothes and since he doesn't seem to know how to use an iron...hehehe...I DO iron his shirts, but more because *I* want him to look put together. Hubster is a hippy...he doesn't care if he's wrinkled.

40. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

Seems a no-brainer...

41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Yes, this old adage IS true.

42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.

43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

Done

44. Brush your hair, everyday.

well, yes...

45. Don't forget to do laundry.

we both do laundry, he can handle it...

46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

done...

47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

this was covered above

48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies

I'm not going to fake an interest in his games. He's happy enough without my involvement.

49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

I have my own money to blow....

50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

flirting is a good thing

51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

of course...

52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

yes

53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

done

54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.

very important

55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)

I'm guilty of it sometimes

57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time

sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

I've done that...

60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

It's honestly not ALL that controversial....

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I do many things in my home, Laundry, cooking, some cleaning and general maintanence.... I do it because I choose to do it.... not because its expected of me as a wife.....

As for asking my husbands permission to go out of my house.... F**k no... if I want to go out then it up to me when I and where I go...

There is no man on this planet that would be making any of those demands on me.... I am a partner in the relationship not a owned object or a slave....

If this is what Muslim men expect from a wife then I am sure glad I am not one of them.... I cant understand why any woman would even contemplate living that sort of life....

Kez

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Ok, let's see if I can come up with some positives on this list instead of just focusing on the things I don't understand or agree with (due to Muslim culture)

*snip*

It's honestly not ALL that controversial....

Great commentary and you summed up exactly how I feel

[Zee Bee 61]

There is some good advice on the list. As for some others, my response is....yeah right !!! The same for the list about men.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

The men's list is far worse!

[Sister Fracas 5]

There is some good advice on the list. As for some others, my response is....yeah right !!! The same for the list about men.

it's like any kind of advice list...some of it will fit fine and some won't.

I have a hard time picturing the Muslim women waking up in the morning and going through the 60-point to-do list for the day. You strive for some stuff, you leave other stuff behind. I could take that list and say hmm, I need to not compare him to other husbands or us to other couples when we have a disagreement. Just as I could give a rat's ####### what others do in their marriage, neither should I hang that over his head.

ahh well...

The men's list is far worse!

*skips over to the men's list*

[Omizo_Tusha 0]

There is some good advice on the list. As for some others, my response is....yeah right !!! The same for the list about men.

it's like any kind of advice list...some of it will fit fine and some won't.

I have a hard time picturing the Muslim women waking up in the morning and going through the 60-point to-do list for the day. You strive for some stuff, you leave other stuff behind. I could take that list and say hmm, I need to not compare him to other husbands or us to other couples when we have a disagreement. Just as I could give a rat's ####### what others do in their marriage, neither should I hang that over his head.

ahh well...

The men's list is far worse!

*skips over to the men's list*

Please can you post man's list too. I would like to take a look at it.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Men's List Edited March 26, 2008 by Sister Fracas

[Minya's wife 25]

There is some good advice on the list. As for some others, my response is....yeah right !!! The same for the list about men.

it's like any kind of advice list...some of it will fit fine and some won't.

I have a hard time picturing the Muslim women waking up in the morning and going through the 60-point to-do list for the day. You strive for some stuff, you leave other stuff behind. I could take that list and say hmm, I need to not compare him to other husbands or us to other couples when we have a disagreement. Just as I could give a rat's ####### what others do in their marriage, neither should I hang that over his head.

ahh well...

The men's list is far worse!

*skips over to the men's list*

Please can you post man's list too. I would like to take a look at it.

No, you have to go find it on the Internet...just like those jokes to make your husband laugh.

-P

[AlHayatZween 2]

If this is what Muslim men expect from a wife then I am sure glad I am not one of them....

i hope i'm speaking for the majority of us, that this is not what all Muslim men "expect" from their wives? i can't say for the original poster of this topic, but for most of us... our marriages are a partnership, helping each other out with what we do best along the way. And of course we do nice things for one another and make one another laugh and comfort one another... i think that's what all happy couples try to do. Why wouldn't you be good to your partner?

also...

Washes me from head to toe in the shower (and he LOVES to do it).

Does my feminine hygiene for me (not going into detail, but let's just say I don't ever get cut. hehehe)

That is a lot of imagery to be sharing publicly if you are posting about being a good and conservative wife, no?

[Nearly Done 8]

Well, actually the fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest with a sharp knife.